Beethoven, the Man and the Artist Part 14

(Teplitz, July 17, 1812, to his little admirer, Emile M., in H.)

192. "From childhood I learned to love virtue, and everything beautiful and good."

(About 1808, to Frau Marie Bigot.)

193. "It is one of my foremost principles never to occupy any other relations than those of friends.h.i.+p with the wife of another man. I should never want to fill my heart with distrust towards those who may chance some day to share my fate with me, and thus destroy the loveliest and purest life for myself."

(About 1808, to Frau Marie Bigot, after she had declined his invitation to drive with him.)

194. "In my solitude here I miss my roommate, at least at evening and noon, when the human animal is obliged to a.s.similate that which is necessary to the production of the intellectual, and which I prefer to do in company with another."

(Teplitz, September 6, 1811, to Tiedge.)

195. "It was not intentional and premeditated malice which led me to act toward you as I did; it was my unpardonable carelessness."

(To Wegeler.)

196. "I am not bad; hot blood is my wickedness, my crime is youthfulness. I am not bad, really not bad; even though wild surges often accuse my heart, it still is good. To do good wherever we can, to love liberty above all things, and never to deny truth though it be at the throne itself.--Think occasionally of the friend who honors you."

(Written in the autograph alb.u.m of a Herr Bocke.)

197. "It is a singular sensation to see and hear one's self praised, and then to be conscious of one's own imperfections as I am. I always regard such occasions as admonitions to get nearer the unattainable goal set for us by art and nature, hard as it may be."

(To Mdlle. de Girardi, who had sung his praises in a poem.)

198. "It is my sincere desire that whatever shall be said of me hereafter shall adhere strictly to the truth in every respect regardless of who may be hurt thereby, me not excepted."

(Reported by Schindler, who also relates that when Beethoven handed him doc.u.ments to be used in the biography a week before his death, he said to him and Breuning: "But in all things severely the truth; for that I hold you to a strict accountability.")

199. "Now you can help me to find a wife. If you find a beautiful woman in F. who, mayhap, endows my music with a sigh,--but she must be no Elise Burger--make a provisional engagement. But she must be beautiful, for I can love only the beautiful; otherwise I might love myself."

(In 1809, to Baron von Gleichenstein. As for the personal reference it seems likely that Beethoven referred to Elise Burger, second wife of the poet G. August Burger, with whom he had got acquainted after she had been divorced and become an elocutionist.)

200. "Am I not a true friend? Why do you conceal your necessities from me? No friend of mine must suffer so long as I have anything."

(To Ferdinand Ries, in 1801. Ries's father had been kind to Beethoven on the death of his mother in 1787.)

201. "I would rather forget what I owe to myself than what I owe to others."

(To Frau Streicher, in the summer of 1817.)

202. "I never practice revenge. When I must antagonize others I do no more than is necessary to protect myself against them, or prevent them from doing further evil."

(To Frau Streicher, in reference to the troubles which his servants gave him, many of which, no doubt, were due to faults of his own, excusable in a man in his condition of health.)

203. "Be convinced that mankind, even in your case, will always be sacred to me."

(To Czapka, Magisterial Councillor, August, 1826, in the matter of his nephew's attempt at suicide.)

204. "H. is, and always will be, too weak for friends.h.i.+p, and I look upon him and Y. as mere instruments upon which I play when I feel like it; but they can never be witnesses of my internal and external activities, and just as little real partic.i.p.ants. I value them according as they do me service."

(Summer of 1800, to the friend of his youth, Pastor Amenda. H. was probably the faithful Baron Zmeskall von Domanovecz.)

205. "If it amuses them to talk and write about me in that manner, let them go on."

(Reported by Schindler as referring to critics who had declared him ripe for the madhouse.)

206. "To your gentlemen critics I recommend a little more foresight and shrewdness, particularly in respect of the products of younger authors, as many a one, who might otherwise make progress, may be frightened off.

So far as I am concerned I am far from thinking myself so perfect as not to be able to endure faulting; yet at the beginning the clamor of your critic was so debasing that I could scarcely discuss the matter when I compared myself with others, but had to remain quiet and think: they do not understand. I was the more able to remain quiet when I recalled how men were praised who signify little among those who know, and who have almost disappeared despite their good points. Well, pax vobisc.u.m, peace to them and me,--I would never have mentioned a syllable had you not begun."

(April 22, 1801, to Breitkopf and Hartel, publishers of the "Allgemeine Musik Zeitung.")

207. "Who was happier than I when I could still p.r.o.nounce the sweet word 'mother' and have it heard? To whom can I speak it now?"

(September 15, 1787, from Bonn to Dr. Schade, of Augsburg, who had aided him in his return journey from Vienna to Bonn. His mother had died on July 17, 1787.)