Six One-Act Plays Part 12

MANDARIN--Ah, many men have sought to wed you, but I have turned their eyes away, until the sublime one should ask.

KWEN-LIN--To whom do I go?

MANDARIN--To the greatest of all! To be dazzled, to be petted, to be surrounded by every superior luxury.

KWEN-LIN--(_Impatiently._) To whom do I go?

MANDARIN--There is honor and eminence the alliance will give me, and money it will add to my already considerable store. We will not, as a matter of policy, show we are flattered. We will be proud, we will be haughty, we will drive a shrewd bargain when the wealthy Ta-yin of Canton would make you his bride.

KWEN-LIN--The Ta-yin of Canton! I will not marry the Ta-yin of Canton!

MANDARIN--What strange words do your lips produce? Does my daughter oppose her insect mind to mine?

KWEN-LIN--I will not marry the Ta-yin of Canton. He's ugly, he's bold, he's yellow as--

MANDARIN--Gold!

KWEN-LIN--He shakes when he walks--

MANDARIN--He's a--

KWEN-LIN--Hundred years old! My heart would crack with grief were I to marry him.

MANDARIN--I never yet heard that any maiden died of grief at the prospect of being a bride.

KWEN-LIN--Br-r-r-r!

MANDARIN--(_Jumping._) What was that?

KWEN-LIN--My heart cracking. Death is clutching for me.

MANDARIN--(_Wearily._) Go away, Death. Take her, if you must, after she is wed. The wealthy Ta-yin can better bear the sad expenses.

KWEN-LIN--I'm dying now, dying, dying. It's quite delicious! (_Lies down. Property Man puts a blue cus.h.i.+on under her head._) I'm almost dead!

MANDARIN--You can't die like this. It's most absurd, besides being unbeautiful.

KWEN-LIN--Have no fear, my death will be magnificently beautiful. I have practiced many times, and know.

MANDARIN--Get up, fox soul!

KWEN-LIN--(_Sitting up._) Have respect for my solemnly departing life.

My heart will not throb longer. (_Lies down._) I am dead!

MANDARIN--(_Prodding her with foot._) Get up, get up, get up! I must carry her! (_Stoops, and puts arms under Kwen-lin._) Oh, for the strong muscles of my l.u.s.ty young arms. We have fed her too well. She weighs many pounds. (_Stands up, and claps hands. Chang-sut-yen enters._)

CHANG-SUT-YEN--My serene mind presents itself to you, great master.

MANDARIN--Sleep should be gathering up the ends of your serene mind, but it is as well. My daughter's honorable body has persuaded itself to seek its ill.u.s.trious ancestors--

CHANG-SUT-YEN--(_Kneeling beside Kwen-lin._) Kwen-lin dead, dead! Then let the lady moon fall from the mighty loft of Heaven, and burn my life to ashes of wistaria!

MANDARIN--Your overwhelming grief at my bereavement becomes a servant, but let not the pockets of your eyes fill with tears. Bear her to the house. She shall be whipped alive! (_Kwen-lin shudders._) The sublime wasp shakes at that?

CHANG-SUT-YEN--(_Bending over Kwen-lin, and looking into her wide open eyes._) It was a death throe, exalted one.

MANDARIN--Can your arms support her?

CHANG-SUT-YEN--I lift a Cherry Blossom with more effort.

MANDARIN--Speak not of Cherry Blossoms. Pick her up. (_Chang starts to lift Kwen-lin._) No, no, that is not wise. How shall we do it?

CHANG-SUT-YEN--(_Craftily._) I can guard the crystal vase of her departed soul, while you go for help.

MANDARIN--It had not penetrated my disturbed brain. I go for help.

(_Exit Mandarin._)

KWEN-LIN--(_Sitting up._) Superb love mate!

CHANG-SUT-YEN--(_Hurriedly._) Augustly enter the world of the venerable dead again, luscious one, your honorable father looks this way.

KWEN-LIN--(_Lying down._) Do your eyes grow pearls that I am with my ancestors?

CHANG-SUT-YEN--The love b.u.t.terflies are winging in the happy recesses of my heart. My breath will smother me with joy.

KWEN-LIN--(_Sitting up._) Joy, when my father is going to marry me to the Ta-yin of Canton?

CHANG-SUT-YEN--Exalted joy, because before that can happen my father will have the Ta-yin beheaded.

KWEN-LIN--An orphan has no father.

CHANG-SUT-YEN--I have a celestial now and then father, who does these necessary but disagreeable things. I think he will dispose of the wealthy Ta-yin if I ask him.

KWEN-LIN--It must be a wonderful convenience. We will make a list of all those superbly annoying persons we do not like, and have your celestial now and then father, behead them.

CHANG-SUT-YEN--We will ponder it, Bright Water-lily, when we are not serenely happy.

KWEN-LIN--I do not like being whipped alive! My teeth chatter when I think of it, and I can't be happy.

CHANG-SUT-YEN--A base whip to touch you! Nay, my lips shall make you live. (_Kisses her._) I am gloriously versed in lip magic. (_Kisses her again._)

KWEN-LIN--Let us fly on our ill.u.s.trious legs, and be married with the six ceremonies, before my father returns. I like that lip magic. It makes singing here.

(_Kwen-lin touches heart. She and Chang-sut-yen exeunt. The Property Man looks around the stage slowly, glances in the property box, then saunters casually off._)

(_CURTAIN_)

CHORUS--I bow.