The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life Part 8

There are 32 ounces in a legal wine quart.

Multiply by 12 quarts in three gallons.

___ 384 ounces in ditto.

Measure the number of ounces your bottle holds--divide 384 by it, and the quotient will give you the number of such bottles required to contain three gallons of wine.

Some Bottles do not contain more than 26 ounces.

26) 384 (14 Bottles, 1 Pint, and a Quarter.

26 ___ 124 104 ___ 20

_Or,_

Multiply 26, _i. e._ the number of ounces By 12 your bottle will contain.

___ 312 the number of ounces contained in your dozen bottles, which Ought to hold 384 the number of ounces in Subtract 312 Three Gallons.

_________ Divide by the number } 32) 72 (2 Quarts and half a Pint of ounces in a Quart,} 64 short of measure.

__ 8 ounces.

So, instead of THREE GALLONS--you have only _Two Gallons, one Quart, and a Pint and a half_.

_The Quant.i.ty a Bottle will contain_, may easily be accurately ascertained, by LYNES'S _graduated Gla.s.s measure_, which holds half a pint, and is divided into ounces, &c.--_it is a convenient vessel to mix_ GROG _in_.

A PIPE OF PORT contains, on the average, 138 Gallons, of which three must be allowed for Lees, &c.--This is enough for waste, if the Wine has been properly fined, and steadily bottled.

A b.u.t.t OF SHERRY contains 130 gallons.

MADEIRA, 110 ditto.

Hogshead of CLARET, 55 ditto.

It is convenient for small Families to have part of their Wine in _Pint Bottles_.

That Wine is much best when quite fresh opened, is a fact it is needless to observe,--half a Pint of Wine (_i. e._ 8 ounces, _i. e._ 4 ordinary wine-gla.s.ses) is as much as most people (who have not spoiled their stomachs by intemperance) require.

The Rage for Superannuated Wine,--is one of the most _ridiculous Vulgar Errors of Modern Epicurism_,--"the Bee's Wing," "thick Crust[52] on the Bottle," "loss of strength, &c." which Wine-fanciers consider the Beauty of their tawny favourite, "fine Old Port,"--are forbidding manifestations of decomposition, and the departure of some of the best qualities of the Wine.

The Age[53] of maturity for exportation from Oporto, is said to be the second year after the Vintage, (probably sometimes not quite so long.)

Our Wine-merchants keep it in Wood from two to six years longer, according to its original strength, &c.--surely this must be long enough to do all that can be done by keeping it--what crude Wine it must be to require even this time to ameliorate it--the necessity for which, must arise either from some error in the original manufacture,--or a false taste, which does not relish it, till Time has changed its original characteristics.

_Ordinary Port_ is a very uncleansed, fretful Wine--and experienced judges have a.s.sured us, that _the Best Port_ is rather impoverished than improved, by being kept in Bottle longer than Two[54] Years, _i. e._ supposing it to have been previously from two to four years in the Cask in this Country,--observing, that all that the outrageous advocates for "_vin pa.s.se_"--really know about it, is, that SHERRY _is Yellow_,--and PORT _is Black_,--and that if they drink enough of either of them,--it will make them Drunk.

WHITE WINES, especially _Sherry_ and _Madeira_, being more perfectly fermented, and thoroughly fined before they are bottled--if kept in a cellar of uniform temperature, are not so rapidly deteriorated by Age.

_The Temperature of a Good Cellar_ is nearly the same throughout the year. _Double Doors_ help to preserve this. It must be dry, and be kept as clean as possible.

_The Art of preserving Wines_, is to keep them from fretting, which is done by keeping them in the same degree of heat, and careful Corking[55]. "If persons wish to preserve the fine flavour of their Wines, they ought _on no account_ to permit any Bacon, Cheese, Onions, Potatoes, or Cider, in their wine-cellars. Or, if there be any disagreeable stench in the Cellar, the wine will indubitably imbibe it; consequently, instead of being fragrant and charming to the nose and palate, it will be extremely disagreeable."--CARNELL _on Wine Making_, 8vo. 1814, p. 124. See also _Manuel du Sommelier, par A. Jullien_, Paris, 1817.

That MADEIRA (if properly matured before) improves in quality by being carried to the _East Indies_ and back, by which Voyage it loses from 8 to 10 Gallons,--or to the _West_, by which about 5 are wasted[56],--however these round-about manuvres may tickle the fancy of those folks who cannot relish any thing that is not far-fetched, dear-bought, and hard to be had, and to whom rarity is the "_sine qua non_" of recommendation--it is one of those inconvenient prejudices, from which common sense preserve us!

The Vulgar objection to _New Wine_--(by which we mean Wine that has been maturing in Wood two years in Portugal--two in England--and in Bottle more than twelve months), is, that its exhilarating qualities are too abundant, and intoxicate in too small a dose--those "_Bons Vivants_," to whom "the Bottle, the Sun of the table," and who are not in the habit of crying to go home to Bed while they can see it s.h.i.+ning,--require Wines weaker than those which are usually imported from Spain and Portugal,--however PORT and SHERRY may be easily reduced to the standard desired by the long-sitter,--"_paululum aceti acetosi_," will give the Acid Got,--"_aqua pura_" will subdue their Spirit "_ad libitum_,"--and produce _an imitation of the flavour acquired by Age, extempore_--and You can thus very easily make fine fruity nutritious new Wine,--as Light,--and as Old[57],--and as Poor, as you please--and fit it exactly to your customer's palate, whether "_Ma.s.sa drinky for Drinky,--or drinky for Drunky Ma.s.sa._"

_To ameliorate very new, or very old Wine_--mix a bottle of the one with a bottle of the other--or to a bottle of very old Port add a gla.s.s or two of good new Claret--to very new, a gla.s.s of Sherry.

Of all our Senses,--_the Taste_, especially for Liquids, is the most sophisticated Slave of Habit--"De gustibus, non est disputandum."

The Astringent matter, and Alcohol--which render PORT WINE the prop of an Englishman's Heart--are intolerable to the palate of an Italian, or Frenchman.--But a Stomach which has been accustomed to be wound up by the double stimulus of Astringents, and Alcohol also,--will not be content with the latter only,--especially if that be in less quant.i.ty--as it is in the _Italian and French Wines_; which, therefore, for the generality of Englishmen, are insufficiently excitant.

He who has been in the habit of drinking PORTER at Dinner,--and PORT after--will feel uncomfortable with _Home-brewed Ale_, and _Claret_.

Mr. ACc.u.m, the chemist, a.n.a.lyzed for the Editor, some PORT and SHERRY of the finest quality--the PORT[58] yielded 20 per cent--and the SHERRY 19-25 per cent, of ALCOHOL of 825 specific gravity--_i. e._ the strongest Spirit of Wine that can be drawn, full double the strength of BRANDY, which seldom has 40 per Cent, and common GIN[59] not more than 30--or 25.

Some people have a notion that if they go to the Docks, they can purchase a Pipe of Wine for twenty pounds less, than they must pay to a regular Wine Merchant--and, moreover, have it _neat as imported_--as if all Wines of the same _Name_, were of the same Quality.

PORT _varies at Oporto in quality and price as much as_ PORTER _does in London_--it is needless to say how difficult it is to obtain the best Beer at any price--it is quite as difficult to obtain the best Port Wine at Oporto, where the very superior wine is all bought up at a proportionately high price by the agents for the London Wine Merchants.

BRANDIES and WINES _vary in quality quite as much as they do in Price_: not less than twenty pounds per Pipe in the country where they are made.

The only way to obtain genuine wholesome liquor, is to apply to a respectable Wine Merchant--and beg of him to send you the best wine at the regular market price.

If you are particular about the Quality of what you buy--the less You ask about the price of it the better--if you are not, bargain as hard as you please.

The Editor buys his _Wines_ of Messrs. DANVERS and CLARKE, No. 122, Upper Thames Street; his _Brandy and Liqueurs_[60] of Messrs. JOHNSON, in Pall Mall; and his _Spirits_, &c. of Mr. RICKARDS, Piccadilly.

_A Moral and Physical Thermometer; or, a Scale of the Progress of Temperance and Intemperance, by_ J. C. LETTSOM, M. D.

LIQUORS, _with their_ EFFECTS, _in their usual Order_.

TEMPERANCE.

70-|-| WATER. } { Health, Wealth, |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { Serenity of Mind, |-| } { 60-|-| Milk and Water. } { |-| } { Reputation, long Life, |-| } { and |-| } { |-| } { Happiness.

50-|-| Small Beer. } { |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { 40-|-| Cyder and Perry. } { Cheerfulness, |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { Strength, and 30-|-| Wine. } { |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { Nourishment, when taken |-| } { 20-|-| Porter. } { |-| } { only at Meals, and in |-| } { |-| } { |-| } { moderate Quant.i.ties.

10-|-| Strong Beer. } { |-| |-| |-| |-| 0-|-| INTEMPERANCE.

|-| |-| |-| }{ VICES. }{ DISEASES. }{PUNISHMENTS.

|-| }{ }{ }{ 10-|-|Punch. }{Idleness. }{Sickness, }{ |-| }{ }{Puking, and }{ |-| }{ }{Tremors of the }{Debt.

|-| }{Peevishness.}{ Hands in the }{ |-| }{ }{ Morning. }{ 20-|-|Toddy and Crank.}{ }{ }{Black Eye.

|-| }{ }{ }{ |-| }{Quarrelling.}{Bloatedness. }{ |-| }{ }{ }{ |-|{Grog, and }{ }{Inflamed Eyes. }{ 30-|-|{Brandy and }{Fighting. }{ }{Rags.

|-|{Water. }{ }{Red Nose and Face. }{ |-| }{Lying. }{Sore and swelled }{Hunger.

|-| }{ }{ Legs. }{ |-| }{ }{ }{ 40-|-|Flip and Shrub. }{Swearing. }{Jaundice. }{Hospital.

|-| }{ }{ }{ |-| }{ }{ }{ |-|{Bitters infused}{Obscenity. }{Pains in the Limbs,}{Poor-house.

|-|{in Spirits. }{ }{ and burning in }{ 50-|-|{Usquebaugh. }{Swindling. }{ the Palms of the }{ |-|{Hystericwater. }{ }{ Hands, and Soles }{Jail.

|-| }{ }{ of the Feet. }{ |-|{Gin, Anniseed, }{Perjury. }{Dropsy. }{Whipping.

|-|{Brandy, }{ }{Epilepsy. }{ 60-|-|{Rum, and }{Burglary. }{Melancholy. }{The Hulks.

|-|{Whisky in the }{ }{Madness. }{ |-|{_Morning_. }{ }{Palsy. }{Botany Bay.

|-| }{Murder. }{Apoplexy. }{ |-|{Do, during }{ }{ }{ 70-|-|{the _Day and_ }{ }{ }{ |-|{_Night_. }{Suicide. }{DEATH. }{GALLOWS.

_Those who drink Wine[61], &c. for the purpose it was given_, as a Cordial, to cheer the Circulation, when it falters from Fatigue, Age, or profuse Evacuations of any kind, "for the Stomach's sake," as St. Paul recommends it, and for our "often infirmities" as a medicine--will understand, that of all the ways of saving, to run any risk of buying inferior Wine, is the most ridiculously unwise Economy.

To _Ice Wine_ is another very unprofitable and inconvenient custom--and not only deteriorates its flavour, but by rendering it dull in the mouth--people are induced to drink too much, as they are deprived of the advantage of knowing when they have got enough--for as soon as the Wine becomes warm in their Stomachs,--the dose they have taken merely to exhilarate them--makes them drunk.

_The true Economy of Drinking_,--is to excite as much Exhilaration as may be,--with as little Wine.