Phelim Otoole's Courtship and Other Stories Part 9

"Faith, you may say that--(a loving squeeze). Now, Peggy, begin an' tell us all about your bachelors."

"The sarra one ever I had, Phelim."

"Oh, murdher sheery, what a bounce! Bad cess to me, if you can spake a word o' thruth afther that, you common desaver! Worn't you an' Paddy Moran pullin' a coard?"

"No, in throth; it was given out on us, but we never wor, Phelim.

Nothin' ever pa.s.sed betune us but common civility. He thrated my father an' mother wanst to share of half a pint in the Lammas Fair, when I was along wid them; but he never broke discoorse wid me barrin', as I sed, in civility an' friends.h.i.+p."

"An' do you mane to put it down my throath that you never had a sweetheart at all?"

"The nerra one."

"Oh, you thief! Wid two sich lips o' your own, an' two sich eyes o' your own, an' two sich cheeks o' your own! Oh,--, by the tarn, that won't pa.s.s."

"Well, an' supposin' I had--behave Phelim--supposin' I had, where's the harm? Sure it's well known all the sweethearts, you had, an' have yet, I suppose."

"Be gorra, an' that's thruth; an' the more the merrier, you jewel you, till, one get's married. I had enough of them, in my day, but you're the flower o' them all, that I'd like to spend my life wid"--(a squeeze.)

"The sorra one word the men say a body can trust. I warrant you tould that story to every one o' them as well as to me. Stop Phelim--it's well known that what you say to the colleens is no gospel. You know what they christened you 'Bouncin' Phelim!"

"Betune you an' me, Peggy, I'll tell you a sacret; I was the boy for deludin them. It's very well known the matches I might a got; but you see, you little shaver, it was waitin' for yourself I was."

"For me! A purty story indeed I'm sure it was! Oh, afther that! Why, Phelim, how can you----Well, well, did any one ever hear the likes?"

"Be the vestments, it's thruth. I had you in my eye these three years, but was waitin' till I'd get together as much money as ud' set us up in the world dacently. Give me that egg-sh.e.l.l agin. Talkin's dhruthy work. _Shudorth, a rogarah!_ (* This to you you rogue) an' a pleasant honeymoon to us!"

"Wait till we're married first, Phelim; thin it'll be time enough to dhrink that."

"Come, acushla, it's your turn now; taste the sh.e.l.l, an' you'll see how lovin' it'll make us. Mother's milk's a thrifle to it."

"Well, if I take this, Phelim, I'll not touch another dhrop to-night.

In the mane time here's whatever's best for us! Whoo! Oh, my! but that's strong! I dunna how the people can dhrink so much of it!"

"Faith, nor me; except bekase they have a regard for it, an' that it's worth havin' a regard for, jist like yourself an' me. Upon my faix, Peggy, it bates all, the love an likin' I have for you, an' ever had these three years past. I tould you about the eyes, mavourneen, an'--an'--about the lips--"

"Phelim--behave--I say--now stop wid you--well--well--but you're the tazin' Phelim!--Throth the girls may be glad when you're married,"

exclaimed Peggy, adjusting her polished hair.

"Bad cess to the bit, if ever I got so sweet a one in my life--the soft end of a honeycomb's a fool to it. One thing, Peggy, I can tell you--that I'll love you in great style. Whin we're marrid it's I that'll soodher you up. I won't let the wind blow on you. You must give up workin', too. All I'll ax you to do will be to nurse the childhre; an'

that same will keep you busy enough, plase Goodness."

"Upon my faix, Phelim, you're the very sarra, so you are. Will you be asy now? I'll engage when you're married, it'll soon be another story wid you. Maybe you'd care little about us thin!"

"Be the vestments, I'm spakin' pure gospel, so I am. Sure you don't know that to be good husbands runs in our family. Every one of them was as sweet as thracle to their wives. Why, there's that ould c.o.c.k, my fadher, an' if you'd see how he b.u.t.thers up the ould woman to this day, it 'ud make your heart warm to any man o' the family."

"Ould an' young was ever an' always the same to you, Phelim. Sure the ouldest woman in the parish, if she happened to be single, couldn't miss of your blarney. It's reported you're goin' to be marrid to an ould woman.'

"He---hem--ahem! Bad luck to this cowld I have! it's stickin' in my throath entirely, so it is!--hem!--to a what?"

"Why to an ould woman, wid a great deal of the hard goold!"

Phelim put his hand instinctively to his waistcoat pocket, in which he carried the housekeeper's money.

"Would you oblage one wid her name?"

"You know ould Molly Kavanagh well enough, Phelim."

Phelim put up an inward e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n of thanks.

"To the sarra wid her, an' all sasoned women. G.o.d be praised that the night's line, anyhow! Hand me the sh.e.l.l, an' we'll take a _gauliogue_ aich, an' afther that we'll begin an' talk over how lovin' an' fond o'

one another we'll be."

"You're takin' too much o' the whiskey, Phelim. Oh, for Goodness'

sake!--oh--b--b--n--now be asy. Faix, I'll go to the fire, an' lave you altogether, so I will, if you don't give over sl.u.s.therin' me, that way, an' stoppin' my breath."

"Here's all happiness to our two selves, _acushla machree!_ Now thry another _gauliogue_, an' you'll see how deludin' it'll make you."

"Not a sup, Phelim."

"Arrah, nonsense! Be the vestment, it's as harmless as new milk from the cow. It'll only do you good, alanna. Come now, Peggy, don't be ondacent, an' it our first night's coortin'! Blood alive! don't make little o' my father's son on sich a night, an' us at business like this, anyhow!"

"Phelim, by the cra.s.s, I won't take it; so that ends it. Do you want to make little o' me? It's not much you'd think o' me in your mind, if I'd dhrink it."

"The sh.e.l.l's not half full."

"I wouldn't brake my oath for all the whiskey in the kingdom; so don't ax me. It's neither right nor proper of you to force it an me."

"Well, all I say is, that it's makin' little of one Phelim O'Toole, that hasn't a thought in his body but what's over head an' ears in love wid you. I must only dhrink it for you myself, thin. Here's all kinds o'

good fortune to us! Now, Peggy,--sit closer to me acushla!--Now, Peggy, are you fond o' me at all? Tell thruth, now."

"Fond o' you! Sure you know all the girls is fond of you. Aren't you the boy for deludin' them?--ha, ha, ha?"

"Come, come, you shaver; that won't do. Be sarious. If you knew how my heart's warmin' to you this minute, you'd fall in love wid my shadow.

Come, now, out wid it. Are you fond of a sartin boy not far from you, called Bouncin' Phelim?"

"To be sure I am. Are you satisfied now? Phelim! I say,"--

"Faith, it won't pa.s.s, avourneen. That's not the voice for it. Don't you hear me, how tendher I spake wid my mouth brathin' into your ear, _acushla machree?_ Now turn about, like a purty entisin' girl, as you are, an' put your sweet bill to my ear the same way, an' whisper what you know into it? That's a darlin'! Will you, achora?"

"An' maybe all this time you're promised to another?"

"Be the vestments, I'm not promised to one. Now! Saize the one!"

"You'll say that, anyhow!"

"Do you see my hands acra.s.s? Be thim five cra.s.ses, I'm not promised to a girl livin', so I'm not, nor wouldn't, bekase I had you in my eye. Now will you tell me what I'm wantin' you? The grace o' Heaven light down an you, an' be a good, coaxin darlin' for wanst. Be this an' be that, if ever you heerd or seen sich doin's an' times as we'll have when we're marrid. Now the weeny whisper, a colleen dhas."

"It's time enough yet to let you know my mind, Phelim. If you behave yourself an' be-----Why thin is it at the bottle agin you are? Now don't dhrink so much, Phelim, or it'll get into your head. I was sayin' that if you behave yourself, an' be a good boy, I may tell you somethin'