Fraternal Charity Part 3

XXI

SECOND PRESERVATIVE

_To meditate on what the Saints say_

ST. BONAVENTURE relates that St. Francis of a.s.sisi said to his religious one day: "Uncharitable conversation is worse than the a.s.sa.s.sin, because it kills souls and becomes intoxicated with their blood. It is worse than the mad dog, because it tears out and drags on all sides the living entrails of the neighbour. It is worse than the unclean animal, because it wallows in the filth of vices and makes its favourite pasture there. It is worse than Cham, because it exposes everywhere the nasty spots which soil the face of religion--its mother."

St. Bernard goes further: "Do not hesitate to regard the tongue of the backbiter as more cruel than the iron of the lance which pierced our Saviour's side, because it not only pierces His sacred side, but one of His living members also, to whom by its wound it gives death. It is more cruel than the thorns with which His venerable head was crowned and torn, and even than the nails with which the wicked Jews fastened His sacred hands and feet to the Cross, because if our Divine Saviour did not esteem more highly the member of His mystic body (which is pierced by the foul tongue of the slanderer) than His own natural body formed by the operation of the Holy Ghost in the chaste womb of the Virgin Mary, He would never have consented to deliver the latter to ignominies and outrages to spare the former."

Now St. Francis and St. Bernard are here speaking to religious. Is it possible, then, for backbiting to glide into religious communities? Yes, certainly. And it is by this snare that Satan catches souls which have escaped all others.

St. Jerome says: "There are few who avoid this fault. Amongst those even who pride themselves on leading an irreproachable life, you will scarcely find any who do not criticize their brethren."

Rarely, without doubt, but too often, nevertheless, we calumniate at first secretly or with one or two friends, afterwards openly and in public. We speak of the mistakes, shortcomings, and defects, great and small, and sometimes transmit them as a legacy.

Sometimes we use a moderate hypocrisy by purposely letting ourselves be questioned, and sometimes brutally attack our victim without shame.

"Have I, then," may the religious thus attacked say, "in making my vows renounced my honour and delivered my character to pillage?

Has my position as religious, has the majesty of the King of Kings, of whom I have become the intimate friend, in place of enn.o.bling me, degraded me? You call yourselves my brethren, and yet there are none who esteem me less! You would not steal my money, and yet you make no scruple of stealing my character, a thousand times more precious. You pay court to your Saviour and persecute His child! The same tongue on which reposes the Holy of Holies spreads poison and death! Is this to be the result of your study and practice of virtue? Has not Jesus Christ, by so many Communions, placed a little sweetness on your tongue and a little charity in your heart? By eating the Lamb have you become wolves?

as St. John Chrysostom reproached the clergy of Antioch. And you, who fly so carefully the gross vices of the world, have you no care or anxiety about d.a.m.ning yourself by slander?"

XXII

THIRD PRESERVATIVE

_To guard the tongue_

THIS must be done especially in five circ.u.mstances: (1) At the change of Superiors. Do not criticize the outgoing Superior nor flatter the new one. (2) When you replace another religious. Never by word or act cast any blame on him. Inexperience, or a desire to introduce new customs, sometimes causes this to be done. (3) When you are getting old. Because then we are apt to think-- erroneously, of course--that the young members growing up are incapable of fulfilling duties once accomplished by ourselves. (4) When religious come from another house do not ask questions which they ought not to answer, and do not tell them anything which might prejudice or disgust them with the house or anyone in it.

Lastly, in our interviews with our particular friends we must be very cautious. There are some who, when anything goes amiss with them, always seek the company of their confidants. These should seriously examine before G.o.d whether it is a necessary comfort in affliction or a support in weakness, or the too human satisfaction of justifying themselves, giving vent to their feelings, or getting blame and criticism for the Superior or some one else.

They should also examine whether on such occasions they speak the exact truth, and whether they seek a friend, who knows how to take the arrow sweetly from the wound rather than to bury it deeper.

The way to find out the gravity of the sin of detraction is--(1) To consider the position of him who speaks and the weight which is attached to his words; (2) the position of him who is spoken about, and the need he has of his reputation; (3) the evil thing said; (4) the number of the hearers; (5) the result of the detraction; and, lastly, the intention of the speaker, and the pa.s.sion which was the cause of it.

XXIII

FOURTH PRESERVATIVE

_To be on our guard with certain persons_

THERE are six sorts of religious who wound fraternal charity more or less fatally, (1) Those who say to you, "Such a one said so-and-so about you." These are the sowers of discord, whom G.o.d Almighty declares He has in abomination. Their tongues have three fangs more terrible than a viper. "With one blow," says St.

Bernard, "they kill three persons--themselves, the listeners, and the absent." (2) Those who, obscuring and perverting this amiable virtue, possess the infernal secret of transforming it into vice.

Is not this to sin against the Holy Ghost? (3) Those who skilfully turn the conversation on those brethren of whom they are jealous, in order to have all put in a bad word. They thus double the fault they apparently wish to avoid. (4) Those who constantly have their ears c.o.c.ked to hear domestic news, who are skilful in finding out secrets and picking up stories, whose trade seems to be to take note of all little bits of scandalous news going, and to take them from ear to ear, or, worse, from house to house. Oh, what an occupation! What a recreation for a spouse of Christ! (5) Those who, under pretext of enlivening the conversation, sacrifice their brethren to the vain and cruel wantonness of witticism by relating something funny in order to give a lash of their tongue or to expose some weakness. Alas! they forget that they ruin themselves in the esteem and opinion of the hearers. (6) Critics of intellectual work. On this point jealousy betrays itself very easily on one side, and susceptibility is stirred on the other.

The heart is never insensible nor the mouth silent when we are wounded in so delicate a part. It is evident, besides, that in this case the blame supposes a desire of praise, and that in proportion as we endeavour to lower our brethren we try to raise ourselves. All these religious ought to be regarded as pests in the community.

If we call those who maintain fraternal charity the children of G.o.d, should not those who disturb it be called the children of Satan? Do they not endeavour to turn the abode of peace into a den of discord, and the sanctuary of prayer into a porch of h.e.l.l?

XXIV

FIFTH PRESERVATIVE

_To be cautious in letter-writing and visiting_

GREAT care must be taken never to repeat anything at visits or in letters which might compromise the honour of the community or any of its members.

Never utter a word or write a syllable which might in the least degree diminish the esteem or lower the merit of anyone. Every well-reared person knows that little family secrets must be kept under lock and key.

St. Jane Frances de Chantal writes: "To mention rashly outside the community without great necessity the faults of religious would be great impudence. Never relate outside, even to ecclesiastics, frivolous complaints and lamentations without foundation, which serve only to bring religion, and those who govern therein, into disrepute. Certainly, we ought to be jealous of the honour and good odour of religious houses, which are the family of G.o.d. Guard this as an essential point which requires rest.i.tution."

XXV

SIXTH PRESERVATIVE

_Caution in communication with superiors_

IN communications made to Superiors say the exact truth, and for a good purpose. Do not speak into other ears that which, strictly speaking, should only be told to the local Superior or Superior-General. With the exception of extraordinary cases, or when it refers to a bad habit or something otherwise irremediable, there is generally little charity and less prudence in telling the Superior-General of something blameable which has occurred. Do not reveal, even before a Superior, confidences which conscience, probity, or friends.h.i.+p requires to be guarded with an inviolable seal of friends.h.i.+p. If we write a complaint about a personal offence, lessen it rather than exaggerate, and endeavour to praise the person for good qualities, because nothing is easier than to blacken entirely another's reputation.

Pray and wait till your emotion be calmed. When pa.s.sion holds the pen, it is no longer the ink that flows, but spleen, and the pen is transformed into a sword.

Before speaking or writing to the Superior it would be well to put this question to ourselves: "Am I one of those proud spirits who expose the faults of others in order to show off their own pretended virtues? or jealous spirits who are offended at the elevation of others? or vindictive spirits who like to give t.i.t for tat? or polite spirits who wish to appear important? or ill-humoured, narrow-minded spirits, scandalized at trifles? or credulous, inconsiderate spirits who believe and repeat everything--the bad rather than the good? In fine, am I a hypocrite who, clothing malice with the mantle of charity, and hiding a cruel pleasure under the veil of compa.s.sion, weep with the victim they intend to immolate, as though profoundly touched by his misfortune, and seem to yield only to the imperative demands of duty and zeal?"

XXVI

SEVENTH PRESERVATIVE

_Caution in doubtful cases_

ACT with the greatest reserve in doubtful cases where grave suspicions, difficult to be cleared up, rest on a religious superior or inferior, as the case may be.

The ears of the Superior are sacred, and it is unworthy profanation to pour into them false or exaggerated reports. To infect the Superior's ears is a greater crime than to poison the drinking fountain or to steal a treasure, because the only treasure of religious is the esteem of their Superior, and the pure water which refreshes their souls is the encouraging and benevolent words of the same Superior.

Some, by imprudence or under the influence of a highly coloured or impressionable imagination which carries everything to extremes (we would not say through malice), render themselves often guilty of crying acts of injustice and ruin a religious. What is uncertain they relate as certain, and what is mere conjecture they take as the base of grave suspicions. Several facts which, taken individually, const.i.tute scarcely a fault, they group together, and so make a mountain out of a few grains of sand. An act which, seen in its entirety, would be worthy of praise, they mutilate in such a fas.h.i.+on as to show it in an unfavourable light. Enemies of the positive degree, they lavish with prodigality the words _often, very much, exceedingly,_ etc. When they have only one or two witnesses, they make use of the word _everybody_, thereby leaving you under the impression that the rumour is scattered broadcast. On such statements, how can a Superior p.r.o.nounce judgment?

XXVII

EIGHTH PRESERVATIVE