Five O'Clock Tea Part 3

Mrs. Somers: "For shame!"

Campbell: "You began it."

Mrs. Somers, to Mrs. Curwen; who approaches her sofa: "You are kindness itself, Mrs. Curwen, to come on such a day." The ladies press each other's hands.

IV

_MRS. CURWEN and the OTHERS_

Mrs. Curwen: "You are goodness in person, Mrs. Somers, to say so."

Campbell: "And I am magnanimity embodied. Let me introduce myself, Mrs.

Curwen!" He bows, and Mrs. Curwen deeply courtesies.

Mrs. Curwen: "I should never have known you."

Campbell, melodramatically, to Mrs. Somers: "Tea, ho! for Mrs.

Curwen--impenetrably disguised as kindness."

Mrs. Curwen: "What shall I say to him?"

Mrs. Somers, pouring the tea: "Anything you like, Mrs. Curwen. Aren't we to see Mr. Curwen to-day?"

Mrs. Curwen, taking her tea: "No, I'm his insufficient apology. He's detained at his office--business."

Campbell: "Then you see they don't _all_ come, Mrs. Somers."

Mrs. Curwen: "All what?"

Campbell: "Oh, all the--heroes."

Mrs. Curwen: "Is that what he was going to say, Mrs. Somers?"

Mrs. Somers: "You never can tell what he's going to say."

Mrs. Curwen: "I should think you would be afraid of him."

Mrs. Somers, with a little shrug: "Oh no; he's quite harmless. It's just a little way he has." To Mr. and Mrs. Miller, Mr. and Mrs. Alfred Bemis, and Dr. Lawton, who all appear together: "Ah, how do you do? So glad to see you! So very kind of you! I didn't suppose _you_ would venture out.

And you too, Doctor?" She begins to pour out tea for them, one after another, with great zeal.

V

_DR. LAWTON, MR. and MRS. MILLER, YOUNG MR. and MRS. BEMIS, and the OTHERS_

Dr. Lawton: "Yes, I too. It sounded very much as if I were Brutus also."

He stirs his tea and stares round at the company. "It seems to me that I have met these conspirators before. That's what makes Boston insupportable. You're always meeting the same people!"

Campbell: "We all feel it as keenly as you do, Doctor."

Lawton, looking sharply at him: "Oh! _you_ here? I might have expected it. Where is your aunt?"

VI

_MRS. CRASHAW and the OTHERS_

Mrs. Crashaw, appearing: "If you mean me, Dr. Lawton--"

Lawton: "I do, my dear friend. What company is complete without you?"

Mrs. Somers, reaching forward to take her hand, while with her disengaged hand she begins to pour her a cup of tea: "None in _my_ house."

Mrs. Crashaw: "Very pretty." Taking her tea. "I hope it isn't complete, either, without the English painter you promised us."

Mrs. Somers: "No, indeed! And a great many other people besides. But haven't you met him yet? I supposed Mrs. Roberts--"

Mrs. Crashaw: "Oh, I don't go to _all_ of Agnes's fandangoes. I was to have seen him at Mrs. Wheeler's--he is being asked everywhere, of course--but he didn't come. He sent his father and mother instead. They were very nice old people, but they hadn't painted his pictures."

Lawton: "They might say his pictures would never have been painted without them."

Bemis: "It was like Heine's going to visit Rachel by appointment. She wasn't in, but her father and mother were; and when he met her afterwards he told her that he had just come from a show where he had seen a curious monster advertised for exhibition--the offspring of a hare and a salmon. The monster was not to be seen at the moment, but the showman said here was monsieur the hare and madame the salmon."

Mrs. Roberts: "What in the world did Rachel say?"

Lawton: "Ah, that's what these brilliant anecdotes never tell. And I think it would be very interesting to know what the victim of a witticism has to say."

Mrs. Curwen: "I should think you would know very often, Doctor."

Lawton: "Ah, now I should like to know what the victim of a compliment says!"

Mrs. Curwen: "He bows his thanks." Dr. Lawton makes a profound obeisance, to which Mrs. Curwen responds in burlesque.

Miller: "We all envy you, Doctor."

Mrs. Miller: "Oh yes. Mrs. Curwen never makes a compliment without meaning it."

Mrs. Curwen: "I can't say that quite, my dear. I should be very sorry to mean all the civil things I say. But I never flatter gentlemen of a certain age."