Kore wa Zombie desu ka? Vol 5 Chapter 2.1

VOLUME 5

Chapter 2 – Well, Dessler Really Seems Like He’d be Good at Billiards! (1)

Chapter 2: Part 1

It was around a five minute walk from the vampire ninja party in Giroppon (2).

For our mixer we had chosen… a darts bar. Somewhere I really don’t think students go very often.

But Anderson-kun (who was really excited for this mixer by the way) was a regular customer at this place, so he had way too many coupons that he needed to use, not to mention we were getting a group discount. Also, we thought if we were going to hold an adult-style party, then we might as well do it in an adult place.

There were more people attending this party than I had expected. More than thirty people were gathered at the darts bar.

I spotted some familiar faces in that sea of faces…

There was a flat-chested girl with shoulder-length chestnut hair and a trademark ahoge… Haruna.

There was another flat-chested girl with silver hair falling to her waist, clad in her trademark Western-style armor… Yuu.

There was a girl from the basketball team, whose favorite motto was “never walk outside without makeup!”… Mihara Kanami.

And there was the super-handsome guy who was tall enough to dunk… Anderson-kun.

Also, there was some Orito-looking… whatever.

All the guys had to bring a cute girl with them to join in on the party, so most of the unfamiliar faces in the crowd were girls.

After everyone had gathered in front of the shop, we were led inside by Anderson-kun.

The bar interior was really s.p.a.cious. The bar felt like a bar you’d expect to see in a Western film, with long wooden counters, three darts machines, and two billiard tables. It seemed like our meal was already ready, and I saw Mexican food lined up on the tables.

“Oh, welcome welcome! I baked some pizza for you!”

A very welcoming shopkeeper beckoned us inside. He looked… around thirty-five? Pretty young to own a shop.

“Sorry for asking you to do so much. You even laid out soft drinks and food for us…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine! We’ll rent out the shop any day if it’s for s.h.i.+mamura-kun! We’re gonna open up at night though, so at around seven or so… that’s fine, right?”

“Thanks. You’ve been a huge help, man.”

“In return, make sure you come here some more, okay? There are some customers who come just for s.h.i.+amura-kun~~.”

The two of them smiled lightly at each other.

The students all began to take their seats in groups. I hung up my favorite jacket and sat in a corner table. Soon, pizza was brought to our table.

“T-This is alfredo ganahson LVS, model zero!”

Haruna’s ahoge bounced back and forth as she leaned back in her chair and widened her eyes in shock.

It is only a pizza. = “Haruna-chan, this is just a normal pizza~~.”

Yuu responded with that emotionlessly.

“… Ah, I see. I guess Alfredo and Ganahson don’t exist in this world.”

Haruna wiped sweat from her forehead and let outa sigh of relief. Everyone else siled.

“Hey, Aikawa, you stupid perv.”

In came a guy wearing an overly fas.h.i.+onable jacket, his spiky hair sharpened more than ever. He frowned at me.

“What’s with the ‘perv’ bit all of a sudden? What do you want?”

“What happened to these cute girls you were talking about. Sure, Haruna-chan and Yuu-chan are all super pretty, but I was the one who invited them, right?”

“These two live with me. So they don’t count as points in your favor. Try again.”

“Hmph, Aikawa, don’t underestimate me! There are still girls! I brought a girl that you’d never think would go to an event like this!”

I really couldn’t imagine there were many pretty girls who would come to a mixer like this with a huge perv like Orito, so what kind-hearted girl had he…

As Orito smiled, a pretty girl with pigtails all of a sudden appeared from Orito’s shadow.

Hiramatsu at a mixer? That really didn’t seem like her. HIramatsu already had trouble talking to people while making eye contact – that’s why she was always looking down. But she was a very kind girl.

She was wearing a pink, knitted cardigan, a fluttering skirt, and boots. She was also looking down at the ground somewhat uncomfortably.

“… He said… Aikawa-kun would… be here… so… umm…”

Hiramatsu’s face flushed slightly red. I really started to pity this girl… I quickly joined my hands together and bowed in thanks at her.

Like that, I ended up with Yuu, Orito, and Hiramatsu at my table. Haruna was wandering all over the place, while Anderson-kun was at the counter, pretty much monopolizing all the other girls.

I see. All the other high school girls really only had eyes for the hunky Anderson-kun.

“Now that I think about it…”

“What’s up?”

“Who exactly did Anderson-kun bring to the mixer?”

“Maybe we should ask. Hey, Anderson-kun!”

Anderson-kun turned his neck to look at us. You called? he seemed to be asking.

“Who did Anderson-kun bring-“

At that exact moment:

“Ayumu Ayumu Ayumu!”

Haruna came over from the billiard tables, a smile on her face from ear to ear.

She had a cute owl in her arms. It looked like she was almost holding onto a stuffed animal.

“What’s this thing?! It’s really fluffy! This is the first time I’ve seen a weird bird like this!”

The bird had a stumpy body, short legs, and her talons looked quite sharp. Well, owls were carnivorous birds of prey after all… like eagles or falcons.

… but seriously, why was there an owl here?

“I brought that horned owl over there. Cute, isn’t she?”

Ah, it was a horned owl. It had some tufts of feathers on its head that looked almost like ears, so that made it a horned owl, not a normal owl.

Yeah, I admit it was cute… but just look at how disappointed Orito looked. His gla.s.ses looked so sad right now.

“Actually, it’s pretty lame!” Orito muttered.

But the high-pitched squeals of “It’s sooo cute~~!” coming from all the girls around Anderson-kun won this battle. It was clear that Anderson-kun was the life of the party over there.

Me and the other guys sitting at the tables just felt left out, and also a sense of defeat at seeing how easy the handsome people had it.

“Ahh, this is just soo…”

Haruna seemed to almost fall into a trance as her ahoge whipped back and forth.

This animal might as well be cla.s.sified as a feline with how big and round its eyes were. And those feathers that looked like ears…

… Well, certainly the way it went “hoo” was also pretty cute… but that was a bit different.

“Agh! Someone used fabric softener on this thing, didn’t they?!”

n.o.body used fabric softener! Haruna hugged the fluffy horned owl close to her as she rubbed her cheeks on the owl’s fur.

“Hoo, hoo.”

You know, this was a pretty tame owl. Were birds of prey supposed to be this friendly? Owls were like eagles or hawks, right? But, the owl shut her eyes as Haruna stroked her on the cheek. That made her seem even more like a feline.

“… Hawaahh… cute…”

Hiramatsu was also watching the owl, completely spellbound.

Even I started wanting to pet the owl, and I walked over to Haruna.

“Alright, let’s order drinks.”

“Eh? Acorns? For her?” (5)

Haruna blinked a few times. You idiot, the owl’s not going to eat acorns! She’s completely a carnivore!

“Hoo.” The owl hooted with perfect timing, almost as if responding to what Haruna had said. “There, there,” Haruna replied, stroking it around its neck.

“Aikawa, is cola okay for you?”

I heard Orito’s voice from afar, and I reached out to pet the owl. But then…

“Hooo!” The owl stuck it beak right into me.

d.a.m.n, this owl really was on its guard! Also, that totally sounded like Michael Jackson, didn’t it?

“She’s saying Ayumu is gross.”

Haruna laughed at me, and I felt myself getting a bit annoyed.

“Orito! Come over here for a bit.”

Orito came over, and I asked him to try patting the horned owl on the head. And then…

“Owwwwwwww!!”

The owl stuck with her beak again.

“See, Haruna? It’s not because I’m gross.”

“Well, yeah. That guy is gross too. Umm… Ondola, or something, right?”

“Hoo hoo.” The owl nodded, almost like it was agreeing with Haruna.

“What the h.e.l.l is that? Are we shooting an episode of Rose of Versailles or something? It’s Orito.”

“You two, shut up and raise your gla.s.ses.”

Orito urged us on, and both Haruna and I picked up our cola gla.s.ses.

As everyone stood there with their gla.s.ses filled with ginger ale, or Lemon Squash, or cola, our mixer organizer took the lead on the toast.

“Umm, thanks everyone for coming here today. Ahh, there sure are a lot of people here. Umm, well, there more cheers and b.r.e.a.s.t.s there are in the world, the better, so… cheers!”

…………. Five seconds of dead silence elapsed, and then everyone raised their gla.s.ses as if nothing had happened.

“Cheers!”

The sounds of students cheering and gla.s.ses clinking rang around me.

n.o.body tried to go over to where Orito was. As for me… I sent Haruna’s gla.s.s flying.

“Uwaah! What the h.e.l.l?! Ayumu, you idiot!”

Ahh, after that huge cheers war with the vampire ninjas, I accidentally used my zombie strength there.

The horned owl seemed to have decided I was its enemy though, and attacked me with its eagle-like beak. It was almost like it was reacting to Haruna’s emotions.

“Ohh! Go! Kir Royale!” (4)

“Hooo!”

The owl’s eyes sparkled as she unfurled her wings while perched on Haruna’s right hand and opened its mouth. Wow, this owl could even respond to really random, obscure things!

Orito came over to clink his gla.s.s with mine, but I ended up sending his gla.s.s flying to the side.

Yuu also came over, but I also ended up overdoing it with her too.

… I had thought I was one of the smooth ones too…

“Aikawa… you… are pretty bad at cheers.”

“Ah, no, this is…”

Clink. I met Orito’s gla.s.s with too much force, and some of the cola in mine spilled out.

Suddenly, laughter spilled out around me.

“Aha… Aikawa-kun… I never expected you would be bad at clinking gla.s.ses.”

Hiramatsu chuckled at me. It felt like she was treating me like some pervy little kid who was bad at clinking gla.s.ses… but just as I was sinking into depression, Hiramatsu took out a shogi board.

“Shogi? Hiramatsu, you like shogi?”

“Yeah… I… thought I’d definitely be alone here… so I brought it.”

She had absolutely no desire to go to a mixer, did she?! Yuu’s eyes lit up when she saw the shogi pieces scattered out on the board.

Yuu was now looking right in Hiramatsu’s direction. Yuu probably also didn’t really come here with any serious intention to meet others. Why in the world had she decided to come anyways?

“Ah… want to play?”

Yes, please.

Yuu gave Hiramatsu a deep bow and beckoned her to a corner of the room. They moved to a quieter part of the bar and began setting up the shogi pieces with practiced movements.

A bunch of guys noticed those two setting up their game, and even though they weren’t too sure how they could intrude into this quiet scene, some of them still pretended to want to watch and began to draw near the two girls. Seeing that, I quickly stood in their way, like the Secret Service protecting the president.

I wouldn’t let any worthless bugs latch onto Yuu! Seeing my impenetrable wall of defense, the guys gave up and went off to join other groups. Good… good.

In a sense, one coupling had already succeeded at this mixer. Like Yuu and Hiramatsu, groups of people began to form all over the bar.

“… So, I still have this habit of threes, and I pick ‘defend defend defend,’ then ‘cancel cancel cancel,’ and then I end up picking ‘attack’!”

There were a bunch of guys surrounding Haruna right now (she was a very pretty girl after all), but they couldn’t really keep up with her randomness and seemed puzzled.

Clearly, all that practice had come to nothing.

“What are you talking about?”

A guy retorted with a laugh, but Haruna brought down a karate chop on the top of his head.

“Shut up! It’s common sense!”

“Ehh…” The guy looked a bit helpless as he teared up at Haruna’s merciless attack.

“You understand, right?”

“Hoo.” The owl hooted almost in synch with the end of Haruna’s sentence.

Maybe the other guys all thought that it looked like the owl was agreeing with Haruna. And the fact that they were undauntingly also now all nodding and agreeing with Haruna was probably a testament to how much they wanted to get to know such a pretty girl.

But at this rate, I doubt anybody would end up hooking up with Haruna tonight.

How was everyone else doing? Wondering that, I took a look around the room.

Orito and Mihara were in the same group, and had just been eating pizza and salad the entire time. There were a few guys and a few girls in their group, but the conversation seemed completely stagnant.

“Doesn’t the first kanji in the word for ‘canyon’ look like the same kanji in the word for ‘lewd’?”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“Everyone who thinks you have to be an E-cup to have big b.r.e.a.s.t.s, raise your hand~~.”

Orito tried that, but everyone ignored him.

I mean, who the h.e.l.l would ask girls a survey question like that?

Looked like Orito was also swinging and completely missing. Next… there was Yuu and Hiramatsu’s little duet.

On the seventy-fourth move of the game, Hiramatsu suddenly let out an “Ahh…” of surprise.

“What… this is…”

It seemed she had realized something, and Yuu handed her a memo.

You were a worthy opponent.

Eh? Yuu had won? After that, the two of them began to quickly moving the shogi pieces. It was almost like I was watching a shogi commentary show… they were moving so quickly that I could’ve sworn they were playing cards, not shogi.

And then… Yuu won.

Sigh… Hiramatsu let out a sigh and took her shoes, sitting now in the traditional proper j.a.panese style atop her chair.

“Would you like… to play again?”

I saw a fire in Hiramatsu’s eyes that I had never seen before. Did this mean she had suddenly gotten serious?

Just as I was hoping for.

Like that, the second match began. Yuu and Hiramatsu silently moved their pieces around the board… it was an atmosphere that was really hard to intrude upon. It was almost like they were in their own little world.

Before I realized it, I was alone. Well, there were plenty of toys here, so I should go try some of them out.

I walked across the sea of lively tables and found myself in the center of the bar, where there were two billiard tables set up.

Anderson-kun was there with his fanclub.

Maybe it was because he was a regular here, but Anderson-kun was really good at billiards. I mean, if it ever got to his turn, the game would pretty much be over. You could barely call this a match. Man, billiards sure was a high-cla.s.s game…

When I saw him there polis.h.i.+ng the end of his cue stick, at how his elbow was perfectly bent and his legs spread the perfect distance, I could’ve sworn he was a pro hustler.

But more importantly, I was really impressed by how he could just smile and look so positive at all the girls shrilly squealing around him.

How could he have all that shrieking going off near his ears but still keep his concentration?

At that point, Haruna also came over, along with the people who were trying to hook up with her.

“He’s like… umm… D-Dessler or something.”

Haruna stood there with a shocked expression, like she was one of the gentlemen of the Yamato. (1)

“Well, Dessler really seems like he’d be good at billiards!”

But was she sure she wasn’t mixing up “hustler” with “Dessler”?

“Hoo hoo.” The owl hooted again, sounding impressed.

That owl could show such a wide range of emotions through just hooting…

“Wanna try?”

Anderson-kun held out a cue stick to Haruna, who was standing to the side holding the owl.

“Alright! Bring it on!” Haruna picked up the cue ball and held the cue stick up.

She almost looked like some demonic coach who was about to put his baseball team through an exhausting practice. Also, she was the one with the ball in her hands… why the h.e.l.l was she saying “bring it on”…?

“Hey, what the h.e.l.l do you think you’re doing?! Weren’t you watching earlier?! That’s not how you play!”

“Hueh?”

Crack! I was pretty surprised that Haruna managed to hit the cue ball dead center and send it flying, but I was the most surprised at thh owl, who flew after the ball and caught it in her sharp talons.

“Ohh! Let’s do that again! Again!”

“Hoo kay.”

“Don’t do that anymore! … Also, did that owl just say ‘okay’?”

“Hoo?” The owl c.o.c.ked its head to the side in puzzlement. The one thing I managed to get from all of this was that this owl could definitely understand human speech.

I desperately tried to stop Haruna, but she wouldn’t listen. But I already knew she wouldn’t listen, so I tried to forcibly s.n.a.t.c.h the cue stick away from her.

But before I could do that, Anderson-kun grabbed Haruna’s hand.

“Want to learn? How to play.”

Sweet breath flowed from Anderson-kun’s sweet-looking face. Their heights were so different that it almost looked like Anderson-kun was covering Haruna’s entire body with his own… I had no idea why, but I started to frown.

“Shut up! Don’t make it sound like I don’t know!”

Haruna’s att.i.tude didn’t change even if she was talking to a really good-looking guy. She was like a vacuum cleaner that never changed its suction power settings.

My cell phone began to vibrate. This kind of vibration meant… a phone call?

I thought it was a call from Dai-sensei, so I picked it up without even looking at the display screen.

“Ah, h.e.l.lo. You already here?”

“Hm? You… what are you going on about?”

This aggressive voice… this was Saras, wasn’t it? … c.r.a.p. I was careless.

“Eh… well… um, it’s nothing.”

“What are you doing? Didn’t you just leave to use the restroom?”

“Ah, nah… that’s… um, there was a Megalo…”

“Megalo?”

“The demons that you vampire ninjas exterminate. I went off to deal with one… yeah.”

“I see. I apologize. I had doubted you for a moment there… shall I go and help?”

“Eh? Well… the meeting over there is already over?”

“Yes, the meeting has concluded.”

“Well, that’s too bad. You went out of your way to invite me… I hope you’ll invite me next time too.”

“Hey, you piece-of-s.h.i.+t darling. Are you saying you’re going to miss my live performance?”

“Live performance? Can’t say I’ve heard anything about that.”

“Did I forget to mention it? … After the meeting, there will be a live concert to celebrate the return of our chief.”

I hadn’t known about that at all. Well, I did feel a bit guilty about leaving her at the party all of a sudden, so…

“Yeah, I’ll definitely go check it out. When and where is it?”

I walked over to Yuu as I asked Saras that. I took a memo sheet from her and wrote down the time and address of the concert before putting the sheet in my pocket. They’d be playing the concert at a live music bar, starting from five in the evening.

“You’ll definitely come? My darling.”

“Yeah, it’s a promise. I’ll definitely go.”

“… Ahh, this must be the first time I’ve heard a promise like that… that makes me happy.”

We hung up the call and I put my phone back in my pocket. A few seconds later, it began to vibrate again. I sighed and once again picked up the phone.

It wasn’t rare for someone to hang up the phone, then realized they forgot to say something and call again. But when the timing was so poor like now, I just had to shake my head.

“What do you want?”

I spoke a bit irritably into the phone, but then realized I really had no reason to be upset and regretted my tone immediately. I quickly corrected myself.

“Sorry. I guess I’m in a bit of a bad mood.”

I followed up with that.

But then, I heard a sing-song voice on the other side, sounding like it could barely hold in a laugh.

“Ayumu-san~~, you have a cute side once in a while too~~.”

“D-Dai-sensei! Ah, sorry, that was…”

“We were thinking we might head over juuust around now~~… would you please let us know your coordinates~~?”

As expected, when she realized I was uncomfortable, she didn’t try to push the issue and just kept the conversation on track. What a mature response. If this was Haruna or Tomonori, they’d burst out laughing for three minutes and then would start going “Hm, what? What was that just now?”

“Oh, wait just a second.”

I moved from the billiards area to the relatively uncrowded counter, and got the address of the bar from one of the shop employees. I relayed the information to Dai-sensei.

“I understand~~. Well then…”

The minute the phone call cut out, the bar’s front door opened.

“Good afternoon~~.”

So fast! Were they already on the way here during the phone call? In either case, Dai-sensei had appeared. Today, instead of wearing her usual white lab coat, she was wearing some cute casual clothes.

And that was definitely Kyouko next to her. When I had first met her, her hair had been tied into twintails, but this time her hair was left straight. I saw that her hair was slightly longer than Haruna’s. She was wearing a normal one-piece, but there was also some bracelet on her arm with some strange-looking runes carved into it. Were those kind of like her handcuffs?

I heard a clanging noise behind me, and turned around to see that Yuu had stood up in shock from her shogi game (even though her facial expression still didn’t change), and Haruna was now trembling and holding the cue stick like she was ready for a fight.

… Now that I thought about it, I had never told those two that Kyouko was coming.

“Why are you here?!”

Haruna’s ahoge stood straight on end and she pointed her cue stick at Kyouko. She looked like a growling puppy, honestly.

“Haruna-san, Aikawa-senpai. It’s been quite a while.”

Kyouko was putting on her best smile. It was a cute, angelic smile that would make a normal guy go “oh my G.o.d I’m in love~~!!” immediately.

“Aikawa! Nice one! This is way more than I expected!”

Orito looked like a panting pit bull right now. At least wipe away your drool, dammit.

“Cute, aren’t they?”

I tried to brag a bit, but Orito ignored me and went over to Kyouko, using the most hunky voice he could come up with.

“What may your name be?”

He was trying to act completely like Prince Charming.

“Ah, Orito-senpai, right? What an honor to meet you here.”

Kyouko flashed her pearly white death at Orito, and Orito was overcome with emotion. He wiped tears away from his eyes.

“D-Did you hear that, Aikawa?! Looks like my time of youth has finally come!”

… S-Shut up, idiot. Orito-san, you’re being tricked, you know.

“How is your little sister doing?”

“Eh? Wait, don’t tell me you already know about my family? She’s doing so well I had to whack her on the head for it yesterday.”

Hah hah hah. Orito let out a booming laugh, clearly in high spirits.

Now that I thought about it, when Kyouko had come to this world for the first time, she had been friends with Orito’s sister. Actually, I was first introduced to Kyouko through Orito.

So, they should’ve been more familiar with each other, but masou shoujo had the ability to wipe people’s memories. When Kyouko was imprisoned in Virie after she had committed various crimes, she had probably been erased from the memories of the people here who were involved.

When I saw them talking now as if this was their first meeting, I gathered that it was impossible to restore those erased memories.

“So, who are these two?”

Mihara watched Orito unhappily as he took Kyouko’s hand and began to stroke it.

“Umm… the loli with the huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s is Kyouko, and the twintailed one is…”

Dai-sensei’s name was… Ariel, right?

“Ah, it’s Aa… rie-… Rie! It’s Rie-chan!”

Wow! What a brilliant idea that was!

“I’m Aikawa-senpai’s kouhai, Kyouko. Nice to meet you.”

Kyouko bent down into a deep bow. Her collar opened up a bit, and her ripe, full b.r.e.a.s.t.s spilled out. Well, it’s not like I could see them, but when I saw the angle Orito was at, I could easily imagine that he could.

“I’m Rie, Haruna’s friend~~. Thank you very much for inviting me here today~~.”

Dai-sensei gave a quick bow.

Kyouko still stood there giving everyone her angelic smile.

All the guys in the room grew wild with excitement at the site of these two. Everyone’s eyes were especially drawn to Kyouko’s bust, which was way too big to match with her youthful face. Well, when you had a jewel that bright, then it’s meant to be on display, I guess. I couldn’t really tear my eyes away from there either.

Anyways, with the appearance of these two girls, the groups in the bar began to shuffle around a bit.

The girls were all stuck to Anderson-kun, Hiramatsu and Yuu were stuck to their shogi game, while Haruna and Orito were as randomly pointless as always. For normal people, this wasn’t really a very fun mixer.

But then, two really beautiful girls had been thrown into the mix.

So of course everyone would want to get to know them.

They were bright girls, full of smiles. Just that alone was enough to draw everyone else to them. I really believed that having a cute face in and of itself was a skill. A skill you were born with.

–

You never expected people to match up to their appearances, but you judged them for those apperaances nevertheless.

–

The two girls smiled as the other guys began to treat them like royal princesses.

The minute Kyouko and Dai-sensei sat down, a huge battle erupted over who would get to sit next to them.

“Want a drink? This stuff is reaaaally good.”

People held out cider and cola to them, scrambling to be the first.

“Here, have a cup. Let me pour some out for you.”

“Oh, no! I can’t make you do that!”

Kyouko was so cute when she waved her hands that everyone around her began to smile.

I had already fulfilled my end of the bargain, so I wanted to go and ask them about Chris’s weak point, but when I got close to them all the guys growled at me like lions. I really didn’t know what to do here.

“Don’t give it to me. Give it to Rie-san please.”

Ahh, what a good girl she was… at least, she was so cute and her smile so sweet that I couldn’t help but think that. Rie… who was that again? Ah, I was the one who came up with that name too… she was talking about Dai-sensei.

“Okay, Rie-chan, here…”

“Ahh, bubbly drinks are a bit…”

When you heard Dai-sensei’s easy-going, gentle voice, time just stood still. You got the feeling you could spend an eternity listening to that wonderful voice…

“Hey! Hey, Ayumu!”

Haruna beckoned me over from the billiard tables, with the owl perched on her shoulder.

I could see nothing but her hands and her ahoge. Even if she wasn’t showing her face, it was immediately clear who that ahoge belonged to. I sighed, wondering what she wanted, and headed over in her direction.

I found Yuu there as well. Hadn’t she been playing shogi?

Ah, I looked over and saw that Hiramatsu was staring at the shogi board without moving a muscle. It didn’t seem like she was in that much trouble, but she was just taking a while to think. Had she not realized that Kyouko and Dai-sensei had come in? Wow, what amazing powers of concentration she had…

When I got to Haruna, she suddenly pulled me by the ear.

“What the h.e.l.l is it?”

It didn’t hurt. Haruna knew that, so she was pulling my ear with such force that I swear it was about to fall off. She brought my ear close to her mouth. But instead of whispering, she yelled loudly.

“Why is that girl here?!”

I shut one eye at the unpleasant sensation of my ear ringing.

“You mean Kyouko? Well, because she’s cuter than you.”

“What?! There’s n.o.body cuter than me!”

“Really? That’s the first time I’ve heard of that.”

Ayumu. Please answer.

Yuu’s emotionless eyes were pleading with me to stop joking.

“Kyouko might know a way to stop Chris. Please try to understand.”

“……… As if I could!”

After thinking a bit, Haruna threw both her arms up in the air and raised a protest. Well, I guess that makes sense. Kyouko had caused Haruna a lot of trouble in the past, so just because Kyouko might know away to take Chris down, it wasn’t that easy for Haruna to enjoy a party together with her.

I understand.

“Yuu, you…”

“Huh? Gloomy necromancer?! You…”

This is for Haruna.

I saw a great deal of determination in Yuu’s beautiful blue eyes. She had always regretted causing Haruna pain during the school festival due to her own selfishness.

So, she was willing to do anything if it could help Haruna. That’s probably how she thought.

“Hm. Well, if it’s for me, then I guess that’s fine… well, if she has that bracelet on I don’t think she can try anything funny anyways.”

“Bracelet?”

“That bracelet she’s wearing. It’ll shock her if she tries to use magic. I saw a prisoner at school wearing one of those before, but it shocked her way too much and she fainted.”

I see, so Kyouko couldn’t use any magic. In other words, she couldn’t really exhibit her full strength as a masou shoujo. Well, in that case, I think we were safe.

“I’m a bit relieved then. I mean, I didn’t really want to bring someone so dangerous here either.”

“… So, Dai-sensei did, right? Dai-sensei’s love of parties is just legendary, so I’m sure she’s the one who had the idea, right? Alright! We’ll definitely get the info out of them!”

Both Yuu and I nodded together at Haruna’s statement.

“Ah, no, that’s not true!”

“Nah, you really are cute! Seriously!”

“Ahah! Thank you. Ah, that’s… so embarra.s.sing to hear…”

When I took a look at Kyouko, I saw that she was quickly becoming the life of the party.

“Ahahaha! You really are cute! Kyouko-chan, do you have a boyfriend?”

Orito was sitting right across from Kyouko, and he was talking down to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, not to her face.

“Not at all, not at all! Boyfriend? Don’t be silly!”

Kyouko blushed and waved her hand back and forth as she laughingly responded like that.

Unfortunately, neither a zombie or a necromancer could muster up enough courage to b.u.t.t into that scene and talk to her.

How exactly were we supposed to get to her in this situation?

“A girl who denies it like that clearly is well aware that she’s cute. Why do guys go and get tricked by girls putting on obvious acts like that? Seriously, this is all just lip service.”

Mihara was nearby eating a pizza and muttering, looking just very sad.

Ah, this might be the beginning of a way out. I spoke up to Mihara as she began to sulk.

“Lip service? What do you mean?”

“Ahh, Ayumu the hentai. Hmm, well… say I get into an accident and break my arm. And then I come to school with a cast. What would you say to me?”

“Eh? … Hmm, well, I’d probably ask ‘What happened? Are you okay?’ or something.”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine! Just a teeny accident.”

Mihara waved her hands just like Kyouko had been doing, opened her eyes wide, and use a voice that was way too cute to be considered normal.

And then, she began to sulk again.

“I broke a d.a.m.n bone, right? Of course I’m not alright. But I’m going to say ‘Yeah, I’m alright!’ if anybody asks me about it. If someone says ‘You’re cute!’ I’d go ‘No, that’s not true at all!’ That’s lip service.”

“Ahh, I guess that kind of stuff happens pretty often too.”

“She’s just saying she’s not cute because she knows saying that will make her look the most cute. Ugh, putting on the cute act like that…”

Well, I knew what Kyouko was really like anyways. Wait, actually… if the others knew what Kyouko was really like as well, then they’d probably all just start gravitating towards Dai-sensei instead, right? Alrighty then…

“Haruna, what do you think about Kyouko? You’re jealous of her big b.r.e.a.s.t.s, aren’t you?”

“Huh? Nah, those b.r.e.a.s.t.s are just pointlessly big!”

It was times like these when Haruna’s shameless personality came in handy.

Kyouko still kept that angelic smile of hers on her face, but I saw her visibly stiffen.

Pointlessly big. A no-breasted girl like Haruna had just called the b.r.e.a.s.t.s she was so proud of “pointless.” Of course she’d get annoyed at that.

“I’m jealous of Haruna-san though. It’s so rare to have b.r.e.a.s.t.s so small… you could almost say it makes you rather exotic.”

“You can’t see them, but they’re there.”

Your b.r.e.a.s.t.s made of dark matter or something?

“I see. Yes, and that certainly is perfectly enough, isn’t it?”

The boys around Kyouko laughed boisterously at her words. That was enough to drain Haruna of her last stores of patience. Granted, Haruna’s stores of patience might as well have been held in a bag tied together with a limp noodle.

“I challenge you then! Let’s decide here once and for all whose b.r.e.a.s.t.s are more amazing!”

Haruna pointed her cue stick at Kyouko.

“Billiards? Just to warn you, but I’m pretty good at billiards.”

Kyouko held up her arms in a small guts pose and stood up.

… At this rate, I didn’t really see how I was going to be able to ask Kyouko questions. Also, this really might end badly for Haruna.

“Oh, what~~? I want to try tooo~~.”

Dai-sensei followed up with that and walked over to us.

“Hoooo…”

The owl next to Haruna suddenly seemed to shrink in on itself.

Owls usually were covered by fluffy feathers. But when they wanted to appear threatening, they could puff up and make those feathers even fluffier. When they were afraid, they shrunk down and tried to make themselves look as thin as a branch. Neither I nor Haruna knew what this owl was so afraid of though.

But there was one other person who might know.

Just like the owl, Anderson-kun was staring at Dai-sensei and trembling. Now that I thought about it, Anderson-kun and the owl had quieted down quite a bit ever since Kyouko and Dai-sensei had shown up.

He was s.h.i.+vering like a guy who had been thrown stark naked into the North Pole. This really wasn’t normal…

“Anderson-kun, what’s wrong?”

The girls around Anderson-kun also seemed worried at this sudden change.

“Ahh, it’s… it’s nothing… umm…”

His voice was barely audible. It didn’t seem like any of the girls’ words were getting across to him either. This was exactly what it looked like when a frog was being stared down by a snake.

Kyouko took a step forward, and all the guys squealed.

Dai-sensei took a step forward, and Anderson-kun shook while all the girls squealed.

It seemed that his reaction was specifically towards Dai-sensei.

Tap tap. I felt a gentle tapping on my back and when I turned around, I saw Yuu there with a memo held out to me.

To people of the Underworld, she is like a demon. So you cannot fault them for their fear.

I see. Anderson-kun came from the Underworld, and the masou shoujo were his enemies. Dai-sensei was just a different cla.s.s of masou shoujo, and was insanely powerful.

They say the following in the Underworld.

Yuu had the same emotionless facial expression as she handed me another memo.

If you meet a snake, kill it before it kills you.

If you meet a bear, run from it before it kills you.

If you meet her, then just give up.

I see, so she was literally a demon to the people in the Underworld.

Certainly, I never wanted to fight Dai-sensei if she was being serious. I had never even seen her fighting seriously.

“How’s this? Take that!”

Hiramatsu suddenly raised her hand, a look of determination in her eyes but also seeming to be enjoying herself quite a lot. After that, Yuu looked from me to Kyouko, and then back to Hiramatsu. She thought for a bit… and then went back to her shogi game.

… Didn’t seem like I could count on her for any help here. Well, she did love her shogi, so I couldn’t blame her…

Yuu returned to her seat, made her move, and Hiramatsu once again fell into deep thought with a serious expression on her face.

I got a bit worried for Anderson-kun, so I spoke up to him.

“You okay? Want to take a break in the corner?”

“Ahh… yeah, maybe…”

Maybe the other girls had gotten a bit turned off by Anderson-kun’s change, or maybe they were showing self-restraint, but I managed to escort him alone to the corner.

The owl perched on Haruna’s shoulder also seemed to want to run away from Kyouko and Dai-sensei, and it silently flew over to us.

Owls had quite special plumage that allowed them to fly while making very little noise.

Anderson-kun took a deep drink from his cola and shrunk down to the floor behind the billiard table, almost like he was trying to hide. I also sat next to him.

“Ahh, I’m so surprised. To think I’d find a masou shoujo with that much magical power coming here…”

“Sorry… there’s a reason for all this. But, I mean, Dai-sensei really isn’t that scary.”

“They have a certain saying in the Underworld, you know…”

“Oh, you mean that you should give up if you ever meet with her? Yeah, Yuu told me a out that earlier.”

“Aikawa, when they told me that, I had no idea who the her they were talking about was. But now I realize that they really didn’t need to tell you. It’s clear instantly when you meet her for the first time.”

Anderson-kun laughed as he said that. His shaking had not stopped.

“Hey, Anderson-kun. Why exactly did you come to this world?”

“I guess I’m just here observing. You know, I dispatch Megalo if I see the masou shoujo are doing something weird. Well, lately they haven’t really been too active, so I’ve just been trying to enjoy my life.”

“Doing something weird? Like what?”

“For example, if they make a lot of fake Megalo and start sending them everywhere.”

“That wasn’t the masou shoujo, though.”

“Ah, yeah, I know that now. But back then, we were all afraid that Virie had developed the technology to make their own Megalo. We thought they were about to invade!”

Kyouko and the King of the Night had been the ones making the fake Megalo. And they were trying to throw this world into a state of war. I see, things had panned out exactly as the King of the Night had hoped.

“This is just a personal and probably ignorant opinion, so I’m sorry if this puts you in a bad mood, but… why can’t you just pull all the masou shoujo in the Underworld and fight them there?”

“Hm, that’s a bit hard. You can’t really fight without restraint if it’s in your home turf.”

Now that I thought about it, we had met plenty of Megalo that were destroying buildings and trying to get to their objective by any means necessary.

I wish they would’ve shown a bit of restraint though…

Well then, back to the billiards game. It seemed that Haruna and Kyouko’s billiards compet.i.tion had turned into something completely nonsensical.

Haruna hit the white cue ball flying with her cue stick…

“That was definitely a home run!”

And she said that while puffing out her chest. Even if she puffed out her chest, it’s not like she could make something out of nothing. Her chest was more… a philosophical construct.

“Ugh! That’s not how you play billiards!”

Kyouko was angrily banging on the billiards table. Just by slouching forwards, I could see her huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s jiggling back and forth.

“Well, what should we do then~~?”

Dai-sensei was spinning the cue stick around like a baton. Hey, stop that! That’s dangerous, dammit!

“You hit this white ball here, and make the numbered b.a.l.l.s fall in order into the pockets.”

Kyouko pointed and quickly explained the game.

“Like this, right?!”

Haruna threw the white ball and hit the number one ball squarely into a hole.

“… Fine. Whatever… that’s fine.”

Kyouko seemed to have realized that no matter how angry she got, it would’ve been pointless. So she just mumbled quietly.

“Okay, it’s my turn nowww~~.”

“Eh? No, Haruna knocked a ball in, so she gets another-“

But Dai-sensei just picked up the white ball. And then…

Bwwwnnn. The ball seemed to sink into the table, and then for some physical reason I couldn’t understand, a shockwave rang out and threw every other ball on the table into a hole.

“What happens when all the b.a.l.l.s go into the holes at the same time~~?”

“Eh? What was that just now…?” “Magic?” “Was the table that old…?”

The audience began to mutter in puzzled tones at the inexplicable thing that had just happened.

This was bad. I really wanted to hide the fact that she was a masou shoujo. Otherwise, things might get pretty annoying.

I stood up and headed over to Dai-sensei. I was almost like a coach going up to argue with a referee who had made a bad call.

“Hey, sensei. Please hold yourself back a bit…”

Kyouko whispered that into Dai-sensei’s ear.

“I am holding myself baaack~~.”

“There aren’t that many games in this world that involve destroying things.”

“Oh my, oh my. How is that fun~~?”

It seemed that in the magical world Virie, it was common to have fun by destroying things.

“Dai-sensei, Dai-sensei!”

“My my, does Ayumu-san also want to play~~?”

Dai-sensei held her hand out to the ball which had sunk into the table, and it went whistling back into Dai-sensei’s hand like it was being sucked into a vacuum cleaner. The cracked billiards table also returned to normal.

To the other people watching, it was almost like watching a video tape in reverse.

“Ohh!” The sound of cheers rang out around us.

“How did you do that just now?!”

Mihara was probably the easiest to impress amongst all of us, and she stood there with her perfectly mascara’d eyes opened wide. (5)

“How? You take s.p.a.ce-time and-“

“Can someone please explain the rules properly to Rie-chan?”

Kyouko raised her hands and interjected, trying to prevent Dai-sensei from finis.h.i.+ng her sentence. Her plump chest waved, and all the guys in the room suddenly forgot all about what Dai-sensei had done.

Taking that opportunity, I also whispered to Dai-sensei.

“Umm, sorry, but could you try to hide the fact that you’re a masou shoujo?”

“Eh? Why~~? We can just erase everyone’s memories later~~.”

I see, it was like that. Haruna and the other masou shoujo could just go completely unrestrained and do whatever because they knew they could just fix things up afterwards.

If you had strange powers, then you tended to act selfishly, with yourself in mind.

I should be careful of that too.

“Explain the rules… but… ah, Anderson-kun is really good at explaining things!”

Mihara said that and got Anderson-kun to stand up from his place in the corner.

Mihara pushed Anderson-kun from behind over to Dai-sensei, who was still smiling and holding the cue stick. Anderson-kun’s face had turned dark brown.

“N-N-N-N-Nice to m-m-meet you…”

Anderson-kun was s.h.i.+vering and his teeth were clattering, like a guy who had stark naked to the North Pole to go see the auroras. Not good! Anderson-kun was going to die of anxiety at this rate!

“h.e.l.lo. Nice to meet you~~.”

Dai-sensei still looked completely at ease though. If Dai-sensei just knew that Anderson-kun had come from the Underworld, then I don’t know if I could guarantee his safety.

He probably felt like there were knives sticking into his throat right now.

“Aikawa-san. Aikawa-san.”

Kyouko beckoned me over, and I walked over while watching Anderson-kun taking Dai-sensei by the hand.

“What? I already did what you asked, so hurry up and just tell me about Chris’s weak point.”

“Don’t wanna. Ariel-sensei probably plans to just wipe everyone’s memory if they figure out what she is. But, I don’t want to wipe everyone’s memory. I want people to go home and remember how they had spent time having fun with me. So, Aikawa-san… if anybody finds out that we came from another world, or that we’re masou shoujo… then I definitely won’t talk.”

“That’s a completely separate iss-“

“It’s not. If we erase everyone’s memories, then there wouldn’t have been any point of coming here in the first place.”

“I got it. In return, you gotta promise me something. If we get through this safely, then you’ll definitely tell me all you know.”

“Ahah! If you’re really okay with making promises with a criminal, then I’ll promise you anything you want.”

Why was she always such a tease when talking to me?

“Okay then, here I go~~.”

Dai-sensei grasped the white cue ball. What was she going to do? I really needed to figure out how to get her away from the billiards table… but how was I supposed to do that?

The b.a.l.l.s which had fallen into their pockets floated up into the air. It was almost like some kind of supernatural phenomenon. Well… in reality it kinda was.

“Meka Waru Ef Meka Waru Ef…”

She started chanting some weird spell! A red torrent of magical energy began to swirl around Dai-sensei.

What the h.e.l.l was she planning to do?! She must’ve really been enjoying this party! What Kyouko had said earlier repeated in my head. Masou shoujo games usually involved destroying things…

When I looked over at Kyouko, I saw her staring fiercely back at me.

It was like she was saying ‘Do something or else things are going to get bad.’

Yeah, I know. It didn’t really matter what she ended up destroying. In either case, people would probably start suspecting that she wasn’t j.a.panese…

What should I do? I needed a way to stop a girl… maybe I should do something pervy or something? I just had to draw her attention away from the billiard table.

Hm, maybe this was one of those situations. You know, I should just draw her into a heavy kiss, and be like ‘This is the only way I know how to get a girl to listen,’ or something? But I really didn’t think I was das.h.i.+ng enough to pull that out.

What should I do… what should I do… what should I do…?

I leapt out without really being able to collect my thoughts at all, and I grabbed Dai-sensei’s skirt.

And then…

Hip hip, hooray~~.

I lifted up both my hands as if I was doing a cheer.

I had lifted up her skirt a mere two seconds after she had picked up the cue ball.

… I… what in the world was I doing?

Her skirt floated upwards. I caught site of a cute pink pair of panties covering her smallish b.u.t.t… it was priceless.

Oh what I wouldn’t give for time to just stop right now.

Yeah, I was well aware that what I was doing was just the worst. But this was the only thing I could think of after being driven completely into a corner.

Dai-sensei turned around, the cue ball still in her hand.

Gulp. I wasn’t gulping at her pink panties… I was gulping at the thought of what awful, tragic things were going to happen from here on out.

“Ayumu… do you have any idea what you just did?! You d.a.m.n Piero!”

“Stop making it sound like I’m a perverted circus performer!”

Haruna’s leaping kick hit me square on the forehead.

“As expected from Aikawa! He can do things with a straight face that we wouldn’t even dream about! That’s just amazing! So gross!”

Just say whatever you want, dammit… for now, I wanted to quickly apologize to Dai-sensei, but…

“Ayumu-san. What did you… Rie-san, could we step outside for a moment?”

“I just don’t know. This was all Ayumu’s fault. Well, I guess I’ll get over it if I don’t see his idiot face for a week.”

The two masou shoujo were giving me strange looks. It didn’t seem like they were disgusted or anything either… what was going on?

Dai-sensei slowly turned to face me.

“Ah, sorry. That was just…”

Dai-sensei’s face was paralyzed into a smile. It was like she was a doll, whose face could only make that one single expression.

“Ayumu-san…” Her voice was as high-pitched and lovely as always.

“Won’t you join me outside for a minute~~?”

But her words made me feel like something bad was about to happen to me. (6)

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) Reference to a character in s.p.a.ce Battles.h.i.+p Yamato.

(2) Another name for Roppongi.

(3) Drink here is “dorinku.” Acorn is “donguri.” Maybe later I’ll actually try to make this wordplay work in English, but for now you get this footnote.

(4) Reference to Bandit King Jing, who has an owl Kir as his partner. Credits to Imperial-sama for pointing this out.

(5) Not sure if this is an intended pun or not, but “easily impressed” here is “miihaa,” which has its roots in the fact that a lot of j.a.panese girl’s given names begin with “mi” and “ha.” Mihara happens to have both syllables in her name.

(6) Literally “her words were that of a delinquent,” but this has a very strange ring to it in English.