Kore wa Zombie desu ka? Vol 3 Chapter 3.3

VOLUME 3

Chapter 3: Part 3

I had told her again and again that we were on a search, but I still ended up on the third floor of a department store with Haruna. The third floor of the department store sold nothing but women’s clothing, so for a high school male like me, there was no place on earth where I would feel more out of place.

“Hmm, this is excellent craftsmans.h.i.+p.”

Haruna inspected a frilly s.h.i.+rt and nodded, speaking like she was on some expert judging panel.

“This one is… quite excellent craftsmans.h.i.+p.”

“That’s the only thing you’ve said so far.”

“Don’t underestimate my vocabulary! I’m looking at each one of these carefully!”

Haruna’s face flushed beet red and she grabbed a s.h.i.+rt.

“Umm… I-is this the super s.h.i.+rt of legend?! You b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!”

You should be praising them there…

“Umm… It sure feels like there’s a bargain sale on s.h.i.+rts, doesn’t it?”

“Well, it does look like there’s a sale going on right now, I guess.”

“Ah, this is the thing that whats-her-name was wearing on television.”

Haruna picked up a pure white one-piece.

“You are just as terrible with names as ever, aren’t you?”

“Wait, wait, it’s right on the tip of my tongue. I almost got it.” Haruna pointed to her throat and shut her eyes.

And then she gave me a bright, sparkling smile.

“I remember now! It was Sadako! The girl who sings ‘Coming. I’m definitely coming. I’m definitely coming.’” (1)

“When you say it like that, I actually get a pretty bad impression of it. What else?”

“Nothing.”

“Really?! Nothing?!”

Actually, it seemed I had overestimated Haruna’s vocabulary.

“Oh, this embroidery is really cute! But this one over here is also hard to say no to!”

Haruna had taken a t-s.h.i.+rt into her hands but was also looking at the t-s.h.i.+rt right next to her.

Her mouth thinned into a triangular shape; she seemed troubled.

“Ayumu, which one do you like better?”

There was a black s.h.i.+rt with pink writing and a lavender-colored s.h.i.+rt.

From personal experience, whenever a girl asks you, “Which do you like better?” they’ve already made up their mind. So it was pointless for me to pick.

“Umm… Maybe the lavender one?”

“Huh? This one? You sure?”

See? She already knew which one she liked, but she just wanted one little extra push from me.

“Maybe the black one then.”

“Hmmmmm……” Still undecided. So she just didn’t want to pick the one I suggested.

“Let’s go with the lavender one then?”

“Eh? Hm. I’ll get the black one then. Ayumu, buy it for me.”

Geez… Wait, I’m paying for it?! But she was the one who got an actual allowance…

I grumbled in my head all the way to the cash register, but I ended up buying the t-s.h.i.+rt for Haruna.

E-eight thousand yen… I was really depressed, but Haruna just kept piling it on.

“I’m hungry!”

Just what the h.e.l.l had we come here to do?

“Make something to eat.”

“H-here? Are you an idiot?”

“Well, then let’s go somewhere to eat! Even a dusty old world like this has to have an eatery here or there, right?”

“Uhh, yeah, it does, but-“

“Let’s go then!”

Haruna took my hand and broke out into a run. I had never once managed to stop Haruna once she got like this, so all I could do was sigh.

“You know, I’ve been wondering… How old are you, Haruna?”

“Eh? I’m an eternal seventeen year old.”

“You’re older than me? No way. How old are you really?”

“F-… Fourteen.”

What a weird way to lie about her age. Usually when someone said they were “eternally seventeen,” they were actually older than seventeen, right?

“So you’re as old as you look.”

“Don’t make fun of me! I’m fourteen, but they say I’m a genius who knows just as much as the fifteen-year-olds!”

That didn’t sound like much of a difference. Anyway, Haruna and Yuu looked like they were pretty close in age, but I wondered how old Yuu was. She’d been through a lot, so she might be thousands and hundreds of years old… I wondered what she was doing.

“Ooo…” Haruna’s mouth thinned into a triangle.

“What’s wrong?” I responded in a kind voice. Haruna responded with a karate chop.

“Whenever Ayumu is with me, he’s always thinking about something else.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“That’s definitely true, idiot! Don’t underestimate my radar!”

Haruna’s ahoge spun round and round. All right, I should be careful of her ahoge sensor from now on.

“Hey, Ayumu…”

“Hm?”

“Ayumu… What do you think of the gloomy necromancer?”

What did I think of Yuu? I wondered… A little sister? No, that wasn’t really it…

“She’s family. Or, no… It’s something that’s hard to put into words.”

“And what about the leaf woman? And Yukinori?”

“Yukinori… You mean Tomonori? Well, Sera is a trustworthy comrade in arms. And Tomonori is a friend.”

“Then everything’s fine!”

“What’s fine? Also, what do you think about Yuu?”

“Hueh? She’s the head of the Leftover Disposal Squad.”

“Really? That’s all you think of her?”

“Don’t make fun of me! It’s an important job! If someone like that didn’t exist, the vengeful spirits of waste would appear! (2) So she’s definitely really importa-… Ayumu! This conversation is over!”

“I see. So it’s pretty normal to think about her during dates.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Hm?”

“Hueh?”

“Not going to react?”

“Ah! This isn’t a date!! This isn’t a date, okay?!”

Haruna waved her hands wildly and I burst out laughing.

After that, Haruna led me around and I helped her shop. Eventually, we began to stroll about to find a place to eat, when I saw something quickly pa.s.s by outside.

What was that? Something just-

“A-Ayumu!”

Haruna pointed, and when I followed her finger, I saw Sera.

What? She seemed to be chasing after something… And when I saw the person running ahead of Sera, my eyes widened.

Plate armor and gauntlets. And long, silver hair that fluttered in the wind.

I felt it again… That pain in my chest.

“Yuu!”

“Hueh? Ah-“

Haruna seemed to have noticed Yuu as well.

We rushed out of the department store and followed after Sera.

It was like the time we chased after the King of the Night. We ran out of the department store and through crowded areas. But unlike him, Sera and Yuu headed for areas with fewer and fewer people. By the time they entered a residential district with many mansions lining the street, we finally managed to catch up to them.

“h.e.l.lscythe-dono!”

Sera yelled out. She was just within reach of Yuu when a huge animal blocked her way.

It was a polar bear. A slightly rounded polar bear.

“Kuu!” The polar bear didn’t attack. He just stood in front of Sera, blocking her way.

Civilians screamed at the sudden appearance of a polar bear.

Sera swung a leaf sword. The polar bear’s body and his boy’s school uniform turned transparent like smoke, and Sera’s blade pa.s.sed through his body smoothly like she was cutting through tofu.

“Ufufu.” The polar bear blushed and let out a disgusting noise. It looked like this polar bear got aroused when he was cut.

“This d.a.m.n perverted polar bear…”

Sera clicked her tongue.

“Not a polar bear! Albino panda!”

If I remember correctly… Albinos had a disease known as albinism, where their skin and hair turned white.

“T-That’s…” Haruna began to s.h.i.+ver. So this was a real Megalo?

“That’s… the cla.s.s AAA Megalo ‘Federation’s… Ah, White Bear’ k.u.macchi! Ah, it’s not k.u.macchi… umm…” (3)

So close! “White devil” would have sounded really cute! Even if he’s AAA cla.s.s!

“Ah-k.u.ma… baron! It’s an ah-k.u.ma baron!” (3)

I guess when she didn’t know what to say, she always stopped there. She sure did like those demon barons…

Sera turned towards that “ah-k.u.ma baron”… It’s a bit hard to say, so let’s just go with polar bear from now on. Although, he did really look like a panda.

Sera was being contained by the polar bear. I didn’t go to help her, but chased after Yuu instead.

“Yuu!” At my call, Yuu briefly paid me a single glance.

Yuu wasn’t moving very quickly. I thought I could catch up really quickly, but then a tiger wearing a school uniform appeared in front of me. His fur was completely white. It was a white tiger.

“Albino tiger!”

He himself claimed that he was an albino tiger… But white tigers weren’t albinos.

“Out of the way..”

I glared menacingly at the tiger. Haruna had fallen on her backside and yelled at me.

“Idiot! That’s also a cla.s.s AAA Megalo, the White Tiger Swan!”

Another confusing name…

Megalo weren’t weak enough for me to beat without transforming. But even so, I couldn’t just stop there.

If I could just punch him away… No, he’ll just dodge.

I used 350% strength to kick off the ground and flew to the side. But the white tiger was there waiting for me. I looked towards the place I had jumped from and saw that n.o.body was there anymore.

What the h.e.l.l?! When did he move?!

I leapt to the side one more time. But the white tiger was there again.

He was fast. Way faster than even Sera was.

“Albino tiger!”

The white tiger lifted both his arms into the air. Was he about to attack me?

I tried to prepare myself, but instead, the white tiger hugged me.

Almost as if he wanted to dance with me, the tiger clung to me and wouldn’t let go. He seemed like he just wanted to keep me in place. Dammit! This was Yuu’s doing, wasn’t it?!

In the meantime, Yuu had disappeared.

Sera made a pair of wings out of leaves and took to the skies.

The white tiger and polar bears shouldn’t be able to fly.

Why hadn’t Haruna brought the chainsaw? Was it because she was completely fixated on the date? If I’d just transformed into a masou shoujo, I could have…

I ground my teeth and struggled until the white tiger suddenly released me and ran away together with the polar bear. In other words, there was no longer any need for them to buy time.

That was such a good chance too…

After a few dozen seconds, Sera returned. Her leaf wings disappeared, and she collapsed into me.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I just need blood. I used too much of my strength.”

“Were you seriously trying to look for Yuu by yourself?”

“Ahh… Well…”

Geez. If she wanted to look, then we should have done it together.

“Haruna.”

“I got it. I guess I have to.”

Even though she looked in pain, Sera let out a bewitching smile and kissed Haruna.

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) Also is the girl from the Ring horror movies. The song Haruna is referring to, ‘feels like HEAVEN,’ isn’t actually that

(2) Here you go: Click me!

(3) There’s a very untranslatable pun going on in all this. Bear is “k.u.ma” while devil or demon is “ak.u.ma.” So when Haruna says “ah, k.u.ma,” there is a pun. For instance, “Ah, white bear” is very close to “white demon.” It’s the difference between “Ah, s.h.i.+roi k.u.ma” and “s.h.i.+roi ak.u.ma.”