On the Cross Part 72

Eight o'clock had struck, the cannon had announced the commencement of the play, the waiting throng pressed in, crowding each other, and the doors were closed.

Outside of the theatre it was silent and empty. The carriages had driven away. The people who could get no tickets had dispersed. Only the venders of photographs and eatables still sat in their booths, listening idly and sleepily to the notes of the music, which came in subdued tones through the board part.i.tion.

Suddenly the ground trembled slightly under the wheels of a carriage driven at furious speed. A pair of horses covered with foam appeared in the distance--in a few seconds a dusty victoria stopped before the Pa.s.sion Theatre.

"St, st!" said one of the box-tenders, appearing at the top of the stairs and hurrying down to prevent farther disturbance.

"Can I get a ticket?" asked the lady in the carriage.

"I am very sorry--but unfortunately every seat is filled."

"Oh, Heaven! I lost an hour--one of the horses met with an accident, I have driven all night--I beg you--I _must_ get in!"

The box-tender shrugged his shoulders. "Unfortunately it is impossible!" he said with an offensively lofty manner.

"I am not accustomed to find anything which I desire impossible, so far as it depends upon human beings to fulfill it," she answered haughtily.

"I will pay any price, no matter whether it is a thousand marks, more or less--if you will get me even the poorest seat within the walls."

"It is not a question of price!" was the smiling answer. "If we had the smallest s.p.a.ce, we could have disposed of it a hundred times over to-day."

"Then take me on the stage."

"Oh, it is no use to speak of that--no matter who might come--no one is allowed there."

"Then announce me to the burgomaster--I will give you my card."

"I am very sorry, but I have no admittance to the stage during the performance. In the long intermission at twelve o'clock you might be announced, but not before."

The countess' heart throbbed faster and faster. She could hear the notes of the music, she fancied she could distinguish the different voices, yet she was not permitted to enter. Now came the shouts of "Hosanna!"--yes, distinctly--that was the entry into Jerusalem, those were the exulting throngs who attended him. If she could only look through a c.h.i.n.k--! Now, now it was still--then a voice--oh! she would recognize those tones among thousands. A draught of air bore them to her through the cracks in the walls. Yes, that was he; a tremor ran through every limb--he was speaking.

The world hung on his lips, joy was in every eye, comfort in every heart--within was salvation and she must stand without and could not go to her own husband. But he was not her husband, that had been her own wish. Now it was granted!

The "foolish virgin" outside the door burst into tears like a child.

The man who had just refused her request so coldly, pitied her: "If I only knew how to help you, I would do so gladly," he said thoughtfully.

"I'll tell you! If it is so important come during the intermission, but on _foot_, without attracting attention, to the rear entrance of the stage--then I'll try to smuggle you in, even if it is only into the pa.s.sage for the chorus!"

"Oh, sir, I thank you!" said the countess with the look which a lost soul might give to the angel who opened the gates of Paradise.

"I will be there punctually at twelve. Don't you think I might speak to Herr Freyer during the intermission?" she asked timidly.

A smile of sorrowful pity flitted over the man's face. "Oh, he speaks to no one. We are rejoiced every time that he is able to get through the performance."

"Alas! is he so ill?"

"Yes," replied the man in a tone very low as if he feared the very air might hear, "very ill."

Then he went up the stairs again to his post.

"Where shall we drive now?" asked Martin.

The countess was obliged to reflect a short time ere she answered. "I think it would be best--to try to find a lodging somewhere--" she said hesitatingly, still listening to the sounds from the theatre to learn what was pa.s.sing within, what scene they were playing--who was speaking? "Drive slowly, Martin--" she begged. She was in no hurry now: "Stop!" she called as Martin started; she had just heard a voice that sounded like _his_! Martin made the horses move very slowly as he drove on. Thus, at the most tardy pace, they pa.s.sed around the Pa.s.sion Theatre and then in the opposite direction toward the village. At the exit from the square an official notification was posted: "No Monday performances will be given hereafter; Herr Freyer's health will not permit him to play two days in succession."

The countess pressed her clasped hands upon her quivering heart. "Bear it--it must be borne--it is your own fault, now suffer!"

A stranger in a private carriage, who was looking for lodgings on the day everybody else was going away, was a welcome apparition in the village. At every house to which she drove the occupants who remained in it hastened to welcome her, but none of the rooms pleased her. For a moment she thought of going to the drawing-master's, but there also the quarters were too low and narrow--and she could not deceive herself, the tie between her and Ludwig Gross was sundered--he could not forgive what she had done to his friend; she avoided him as though he were her judge. And besides--she wanted quiet rooms, where an invalid could rest, and these were not easy to find now.

At last she discovered them. A plain house, surrounded by foliage, in a secluded street, which had only two rooms on the ground floor, where they could live wholly unseen and unheard. They were plain apartments, but the ceilings were not too low, and the sunbeams shone through the c.h.i.n.ks of the green shutters with a warm, yet subdued light. A peaceful, cheerful shelter.

She hired them for an indefinite time, and quickly made an agreement with the elderly woman to whom they belonged. There was a little kitchen also, and the woman was willing to do the cooking. So for the next few days at least she had a comfortable home, and now would to Heaven that she might not occupy it in despair.

"Well, now Your Highness is nicely settled," said old Martin, when the housewife opened the shutters, and he glanced down from his box into the pretty room: "I should like such a little home myself."

The countess ordered the luggage to be brought in.

"Where shall I put up, Your Highness?"

"Go to the old post-house, Martin!"

"Shan't I take you to the Pa.s.sion Theatre?"

"No, you heard that I must walk there." Martin shook his head--this seemed to him almost too humiliating to his proud mistress. But he did not venture to make any comment, and drove off, pondering over his own thoughts.

It was nine o'clock. Three hours before the long intermission. What might not happen during that time? Could she wait, would not anxiety kill her or rob her of her senses? But nothing could be done, she _must_ wait. She could not hasten the hour on which depended life and death, deliverance or doom.--The nocturnal ride, the fright occasioned by the fiery horses which had upset the carriage and forced her to walk to the next relay and thus lose a precious hour, her agitation beside her father's sick bed, now a.s.serted themselves, and she lay down on one of the neat white beds in the room and used the time to rest and recover her strength a little. She was only a feeble woman, and the valiant spirit which had so long created its own law and battled for it, was too powerful for a woman's feeble frame. It was fortunate that she was compelled to take this rest, or she would have succ.u.mbed. A restless slumber took possession of her at intervals, from which she started to look at the clock and mournfully convince herself that not more than five minutes had elapsed.

The old woman brought in a cup of coffee, which she pressed upon her.

No food had pa.s.sed her lips since the day before, and the warm drink somewhat revived her. But the rapid throbbing of her heart soon prevented her remaining in bed, and rising, she busied herself a little in unpacking--the first time in her life that she had ever performed such work. She remembered how she had wept ten years ago in the Gross house, because she was left without a maid.

At last the time of torture was over. The clock struck quarter to twelve. She put on her hat, though it was still far too early, but she could not bear to stay in the room. She wished at least to be near the theatre. When she reached the door her breath failed, and she was obliged to stop and calm herself. Then, summoning all her courage, she raised her eyes to Heaven, and murmuring: "In G.o.d's name," went to meet the terrible uncertainty.

Now she repented that she did not use the carriage--she could scarcely move. It seemed at every step as if she were sinking into the earth instead of advancing, as if she should never reach the goal, as if the road stretched longer and longer before her. A burning noonday sun blazed down upon her head, the perspiration stood on her forehead and her lips were parched, her feet were swollen and lame from the night-watch at her father's bedside and the exhausting journey which had followed it. At last, with much effort she reached the theatre. The first part of the performance was just over--throngs of people were pouring out of the sultry atmosphere into the open air and hurrying to get their dinners. But every face wore a look of the deepest emotion and sorrow--on every lip was the one word: "Freyer!" The countess stole through the throngs like a criminal, holding her sunshade lower and drawing her veil more closely over her face. Only let her escape recognition now, avoid meeting any one who would speak to her--this was her mortal dread. If she could only render herself invisible! With the utmost exertion she forced her way through, and now she could at least take breath after the stifling pressure. But everything around her was now so bare, she was so exposed as she crossed the broad open s.p.a.ce--she felt as though she were the target for every curious eye among the spectators. She clenched her teeth in her embarra.s.sment--it was fairly running the gauntlet. She could no longer think or feel anything except a desire that the earth would swallow her. At last, tottering, trembling, almost overcome by heat and haste, she reached the welcome shade on the northern side of the theatre and stopped, this was her goal. Leaning against the wall, she half concealed herself behind a post at the door. Women carrying baskets pa.s.sed her; they were admitted because they were bringing their husbands' food. They glanced curiously at the dusty stranger leaning wearily behind the door. "Who can she be? Somebody who isn't quite right, that's certain!" The tortured woman read this query on every face. Here, too, she was in a pillory. Oh, power and rank--before the wooden fence surrounding the great drama of Christian thought, you crumble and are nothing save what you are in and through love!

The Countess Wildenau waited humbly at the door of the Pa.s.sion Theatre until the compa.s.sionate box-opener should come to admit her.

How long she stood there she did not know. Burning drops fell from brow and eyes, but she endured it like a suffering penitent. This was _her_ way to the cross.

The clock struck one. The flood was surging back from the village: "Oh, G.o.d, save me!" she prayed, trembling; her agony had reached its height.

But now the man could not come until everyone was seated.

And Freyer, what was he doing in his dressing-room, which she knew he never left during an intermission? Was he resting or eating some strengthening food? Probably one of the women who pa.s.sed had taken him something? She envied the poor women with their baskets because they were permitted to do their duty.

Then--she scarcely dared to believe it--the box-opener came running out.

"I've kept you waiting a long time, haven't I? But every one has had his hands full. Now come quick!"

He slipped stealthily forward, beckoning to her to follow, and led her through by-ways and dark corners, often concealing her with his own person when anyone approached. The signal for raising the curtain was given just as they reached a hidden corner in the proscenium, where the chorus entered. "Sit down there on the stool," he whispered. "You can't see much, it is true, but you can hear everything. It's not a good place, yet it's better than nothing."

"Certainly!" replied the countess, breathlessly; she could not see, coming from the bright suns.h.i.+ne into the dusky s.p.a.ce; she sank half fainting on the stool to which he pointed; she was on the stage of the Pa.s.sion, near Freyer! True, she said to herself, that he must not be permitted to suspect it, lest he should be unable to finish his task; but at least she was near him--her fate was approaching its fulfillment.