Like Hell I’m Gonna Get Captured! Chapter 6

“Alright, today, let’s decide on our cla.s.s representative.”

“Is there anyone who has a recommendation or a self-recommendation?” asks the Deer-sensei from Homeroom.

Nn? Why are we talking about Homeroom out of nowhere?
Do you really want to hear about normal cla.s.ses, normal lunch, and normal everyday activities?
I didn’t touch Kiho much today, so there’s nothing really worth noting.

Ah? What happened to the everyday confession events?
I cut all of that out, d.a.m.n it. I was already forced to describe many of them you know.
Besides, “Go out with me and let’s get married,” nothing else was saying. I mean, nothing else was said. s.h.i.+t.

…….d.a.m.n I’ve grown wild.
I should heal myself by looking at cute girls. Let’s look at my neighbor, Kiho, who’s looking at Deer-sensei with her mouth half open. Yeah let’s do that.

“Houzouin-kun would be great for it!” (

Oh yeah, I forgot that we are deciding on a cla.s.s representative.
But Houzouin-kun… who was it again? Ah, it’s the gla.s.ses guy with the same last name as the board chairman.
Mmm. If it’s him, I have no complaints. He looks like he studies hard, and he has those Kichiku Megane (gla.s.ses), so there’s no problem.

“No! Katagiri-san should do it!”

Nonononono, why, why me.
Such a troublesome position, sorry, I’m not going to suffer it.

“Nono! It should be Houzouin-kun.”

That’s right. Have him do it.
Work hard Houzouin-kun. You’ve lost, Houzouin-kun.

“What are you saying! Besides Katagiri-san, there’s no one else who can do it!”
“What are YOU saying! There’s no way it can be anyone else besides Houzouin-kun!”

After that, the cla.s.s divided into the Houzouin and Katagiri factions, and my last name was being said repeatedly.
Hey, someone else hurry up and say, “Then, I’ll do it.”

“…….Then, are there any objections to making Houzouin-kun and Katagiri-san the cla.s.s chairman and vice chairman?”

…….Huh?

“““““NO OBJECTIONS”””””

Hey, HEY DEER! Why are you and everyone else making a sham of the Dancho○ Club! (Not quite sure what the reference is.)

“Houzouin-kun, Katagiri-san, it has been decided, so please talk amongst yourselves and decide who will be the chairman and vice chairman.”

Hey, don’t decide this on your own! You didn’t even get our consent!?
Kiho, don’t tell me, ‘Work hard!’ I don’t want to do it!
Ahhh. s.h.i.+t. Why do you look so happy that I was chosen. So cute! d.a.m.n!

All these guys in my cla.s.s are saying things as they please like, ‘If we have two people, that’ll be a relief,’ ‘No matter who does what, there’ll be no problem.’
What’s with this atmosphere!? With this kind of flow, I can’t object! Nooo~!

…….s.h.i.+t.

There’s one thing I can do. Houzouin (read: Gla.s.ses) must absolutely become the chairman. I have to make him be the chairman. Even if I have to use my last resort, it is imperative that I avoid being chairman (read: pain in the a.s.s)!

“Speaking of which, why did you and I become the cla.s.s representatives?”

To obtain the initiative, I strike up a conversation and ask Gla.s.ses.
He also looks unwilling, but I have no intention of handing over the vice chairman seat.
For that purpose, I’ll have him be the scapegoat for me.

“Yes. I look forward to working with you for a year. Chairman.” (Houzouin)
“…….Huh?”
“It’ll be hard, but I’ll support you to my utmost as the vice chairman, so let’s get along.”

He says, while trying to give the clincher smile.
I see. I’ve chosen, to use my final resort. THIS IS, THE・BULLDOZER!
If I were to smile and say please, I could’ve solved every problem up until now somehow or another. Before women’s wiles, men are fools.
Ah, by the way, this isn’t effective against mothers. I don’t want to remember when Mom smiled back with a smile that would freeze even h.e.l.l.
If it’s my younger brother, forget problems, he’ll listen to anything I say. Although it’s really convenient, is he really fine with it?
My dad? Ahh…That’s right. I never mentioned him. Because he’s so busy, he’s not home much, but I’d say he’s just a normal business guy.

“……”

Gla.s.ses is silently looking at me.
Looks like my smile wasn’t effective, but I’ll just interpret his silence as affirmation.

“Sensei, we’ve decided. Houzouin-kun said he will be the chairman.”
“!”
“He, Wa”

Fufun, you were too slow.
He who moves first wins. He who delays loses. These all mean: my victory. You can’t say no here can you?
I have a bad personality? This is how I’ve always treated guys.

“Is that so? Okay, everyone, please greet your new chairman and vice chairman.”

Well, I think I can handle this much.
When I look to the side, I see Gla.s.ses sighing with his hand on his head (facepalm). I hear him mutter that there’s no way out.

“Um…while reluctant, I will be working as your chairman. I am Houzouin n.o.butsuna. Now that I am the chairman, I will give it my best. Please look after me.”

Indeed. What good dedication.
If you give up, it’s over, but sometimes, you have to give up.
Wait, did he say his name was n.o.butsuna? Houzouin n.o.butsuna, Master of the Spear and Saint of the Sword. That guy?
Don’t understand the joke? Well, too bad~. (Don’t worry, neither do we)

Gla.s.ses looks at me.
Oh, since his introduction is over, it’s my turn. I understand.

“I am delighted to be working as your vice chairman. I am Katagiri Sora. I’ll work hard, so please take care of me.”

*Clapclapclapclap* the sound of applause reverberates.
There was also applause when Gla.s.ses gave his greeting. Up until now, because there were so many unique people, they were a little divided, but today isn’t like that.
Only today, I’m not sure whether or not the cla.s.s is actually unified.

…..Let’s not think about the reasons for this good mood.

Afterwards, other committee members were decided, but because there were so many people nominating themselves, the whole process was delayed. It was really messy.

“With that, all the committee members will meet after cla.s.s on Wednesday. Please work well together.”

With Deer saying some final words, Homeroom ends.
Meetings are a pain, but there’s no helping it. Since it might be fun if I do it, I’ll do my best.

—————–

“Soooooooooooora-chan! Do you remember me? Remember me? Did you think about your response?”

While heading home together with Kiho and Kaede-chan, trouble appears.
It’s that, you know, him. That one guy who I almost got into a fight with. Although I think he introduced himself to me earlier, what was his name again? It wasn’t too important to me that I remember his name. Oh yeah, it was s.h.i.+geru Takehide (read: Mob A)-san or something. What an amazing name.
And wait, who gave you permission to call me that name? And also, I don’t ever remember introducing myself to you!

How does he know? Scary.

“Ah, those friends of yours are also cute! How about it? Become friends with me.”

…..This creature is looking at my cute, important angels (read: Healers) with some kind of perverted eyes.

“About the response, I remember saying that I’ll become friends with you if you jump off the tip of the Tokyo Skytree without a parachute.”
“……Eh?”
“I said, I’ll think about it if you jump off of the tip of the Skytree.”

I won’t actually become his friend. I’ll only think about it. This is important.
By the way, these words. I said them while brightly smiling. I don’t know if the smile reaches my eyes though.

“Eh….I mean, that’s impossible.”
“In that case, please don’t talk to me like we’re friends.”

If I use this kind of gag with no correct response to it, I can keep guys like you away.
I’ve used it before, and I’ll use it today.
Do you know your eyes are moving to my b.r.e.a.s.t.s? Nasty.

“Eh…..By any chance, do you…hate me?”

My only response is a smile.

I’m more scared than hateful. I’ve never introduced myself and yet he knows my name, how pernicious.
And it’s not just this guy, I’m scared of everyone who comes to confess to me. I hate how the look in their eyes slowly becomes vulgar. I’m scared of all these people, who know my name even though I don’t know them, coming to me.
Nn? Girls are fine. I can forgive anything if it’s cute. Cute is justice.

Ahh-, nothing good happened today.
My thought are also all over the place. I hope tomorrow brings good tidings.
Ah, let’s make sweets today. I’ll give them to Kiho and Kaede-chan tomorrow. They’ll be grateful and no doubt they’ll show me their cute smiles. What a great idea! If I may say so myself.

—————-

I finish the first step of making sweets. Now I just have to wait for them to finish baking.
Because I started making sweets after dinner, I couldn’t study much, but no matter.
More essential than that are the cute smiles.
By the way, the sweets I’m making are Florentines. It’s a sweet where a cookie is coated in caramel, and then baked on a bed of almonds.

While waiting for the cookies to rise, I drink some coffee and watch the news since I have free time.

–Today at around 8 o’clock P.M., there was someone climbing the Tokyo Skytree. Suspect Mobu Hidehiko, no permanent address, 53 years old, and unemployed, was caught red-handed for trespa.s.sing and arrested. The young boy who gave the tip-off answered our news reporter that, “I was looking up wondering if the Skytree is climbable. I was surprised when all of a sudden a guy before my eyes decided to start climbing, and though I was confused, I sent the tip-off.” Nearby-….

……No I did not spit out my coffee.
Is this a coincidence!? Please tell me this is a coincidence. That young boy was probably Him!

Today was not a good day.
After the cookies rise and I cut them into squares, I’m immediately going to sleep.