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"Oh, I--I rather expected it."
He left Tough, wondering how he had had the strength to answer.
"Look out, you're treading on my toes," said the Gutter Pup next him.
He mumbled something and his teeth closed over his tongue in the effort to bring the sharp sense of pain. He went to his box; the letter was there. He went to his room and laid it on the table, going to the window and staring out. Then he sat down heavily, rested his head in his hands and read:
DEAR JACK: I'm writing to you among the first, for I want you particularly to know how happy I am. Mr. Ver Plank----
He put the letter down; indeed, he could not see to read any further.
There was nothing more to read--nothing mattered. It was all over, the light was gone, everything was topsy-turvy. He could not understand--but it was over--all over. There was nothing left.
Some time later the Tennessee Shad came loping down the hall, tried the door and, finding it locked, called out:
"What the deuce--open up!"
d.i.n.k, in terror, rose from the table where he had remained motionless.
He caught up the letter and hastily stuffed it in his desk, saying gruffly:
"In a moment."
Then he dabbed a sponge over his face, pressed his hands to his temples and, steadying himself, unlocked the door.
"For the love of Mike!" said the indignant Tennessee Shad, and then, catching sight of d.i.n.k, stopped. "d.i.n.k, what is the matter?"
"It's--it's my mother," said d.i.n.k desperately.
"She's not dead?"
"No--no----" said d.i.n.k, now free to suffocate, "not yet."
XXV
This providential appearance of his mother mercifully allowed d.i.n.k an opportunity to suffer without fear of disgrace in the eyes of the unemotional Tennessee Shad.
That very night, as soon as the Shad had departed in search of Beekstein's guiding mathematical hand, d.i.n.k sat down heroically to frame his letter of congratulations. He would show her that, though she looked upon him as a boy, there was in him the courage that never cries out. She had played with him, but at least she should look back with admiration.
"Dear Miss McCarty," he wrote--that much he owed to his own dignity, and that should be his only reproach. The rest should be in the tone of levity, the smile that shows no ache.
DEAR MISS MCCARTY: Of course, it was no surprise to me. I saw it coming long ago. Mr. Ver Plank seems to me a most estimable young man. You will be very congenial, I am sure, and very happy. Thank you for letting me know among the first. That was _bully_ of you!
Give my very best congratulations to Mr. Ver Plank and tell him I think he's a very lucky fellow.
Faithfully yours, JACK.
He had resolved to sign formally "Cordially yours--John H. Stover."
But toward the end his resolution weakened. He would be faithful, even if she were not. Perhaps, when she read it and thought it over she would feel a little remorse, a little acute sorrow. Imbued with the thought, he stood looking at the letter, which somehow brought a little consolation, a little pride into the night of his misery. It was a good letter--a very good letter. He read it over three times and then, going to the washstand, took up the sponge and pressed out a lachrymal drop that fell directly over the "Faithfully yours."
It made a blot that no one could have looked at unmoved.
He hastily sealed the letter and slipping out the house, went over and mailed it with his own hands. It was the farewell--he would never toil out his heart over another. And with it went John Stover, the faithful cavalier. Another John Stover had arisen, the man of heroic sorrows.
For a whole week faithfully he was true to his grief, keeping his own company, eating out his heart, suffering as only that first deception can inflict sorrow. And he sought nothing else. He hoped--he hoped that he would go on suffering for years and years, saddened and deceived.
But, somehow--though, of course, deep down within him nothing would ever change--the gloom gradually lifted. The call of his fellows began to be heard again. The glances of the under formers that followed his public appearances with adoring wors.h.i.+p began to please him once more.
Finally, one afternoon, he stopped in at Appleby's to inspect a new supply of dazzling cravats.
"You've got the first choice, Mr. Stover," said Appleby in his caressing way. "No one's had a look at them before you."
"Well, let's look 'em over," said Stover, with a beginning of interest.
"Look at them," said Appleby; "you're a judge, Mr. Stover. You know how to dress in a tasty way. Now, really, have you ever seen anything genteeler than them?"
Stover fingered them and his eye lit up. They certainly were exceptional and just the style that was becoming to his blond advantages. He selected six, then added two more and, finally, went to his room with a dozen, where he tried them, one after the other, before his mirror, smiling a little at the effect.
Then he went to his bureau and relegated the photograph of the future Mrs. Ver Plank to the rear and promoted Miss Dow to the place of honor.
"That's over," he said; "but she nearly ruined my life!"
In which he was wrong, for if Miss McCarty had not arrived Appleby, purveyor of Gents' Fancies, would never have sold him a dozen most becoming neckties.
When the Tennessee Shad came in, he looked in surprise.
"h.e.l.lo, better news to-day?" he said sympathetically.
"News?" said d.i.n.k in a moment of abstraction.
"Why, your mother."
"Oh, yes--yes, she's better," said d.i.n.k hastily, and to make it convincing he added in a reverent voice, "thank G.o.d!"
The next day he informed McCarty that he had changed his mind. He was going to college; they would have four glorious years together.
"What's happened?" said Tough mystified. "Better news from home?"
"Yes," said d.i.n.k, "stocks have gone up."
But the tragedy of his life had one result that came near wrecking his career and the school's hope for victory in the Andover game.
During the early weeks of the term d.i.n.k had been too engrossed with his new responsibilities to study, and during the later weeks too overwhelmed by the real burden of life to think of such technicalities as lessons. Having studied the preferences and dislikes of his tyrants he succeeded, however, in bluffing through most of his recitations with the loyal support of Beekstein. But The Roman was not thus to be circ.u.mvented, and as d.i.n.k, in the Byronic period of grief, had no heart for florid improvisations of the applause of the mult.i.tude he contented himself, whenever annoyed by his implacable persecutor, The Roman, by rising and saying with great dignity:
"Not prepared, sir."
The blow fell one week before the Andover game, when such blows always fall. The Roman called him up after cla.s.s and informed him that, owing to the paucity of evidence in his daily appearances, he would have to put him to a special examination to determine whether he had a pa.s.sing knowledge.