The American Credo Part 12

--197

That the penitentiaries of the United States contain a great number of hapless prisoners possessed of a genuine gift for poetry.

--198

That if a cat gets into a room where a baby is sleeping, the cat will suck the baby's breath and kill it.

--199

That all men named Clarence, Claude or Percy are sissies.

--200

That a street car conductor steals every fifth nickel.

--201

That the security of a bank is to be estimated in proportion to the solidity of the bank building.

--202

That seventy-five per cent of all taxicab drivers have at one time or another been in Sing Sing.

--203

That one can buy a fine suit of clothes in London for twelve dollars.

--204

That the chicken salad served in restaurants is always made of veal.

--205

That a play without a bed in it never makes any money in Paris.

--206

That Conan Doyle would have made a wonderful detective.

--207

That an oyster-shucker every month or so discovers a pearl which he goes out and sells for five hundred dollars.

--208

That a napkin is always wrapped around a champagne bottle for the purpose of hiding the label, and that the quality of the champagne may be judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

--209

That because a married woman remains loyal to her husband she loves him.

--210

That every time one blows oneself to a particularly expensive cigar and leans back to enjoy oneself with a good smoke after a hearty and satisfying dinner, the cigar proceeds to burn down the side.

--211

That when a police captain goes on a holiday he always gets boilingly drunk.

--212

That an Italian puts garlic in everything he eats, including coffee.

--213

That if one hits a negro on the head with a cobblestone, the cobblestone will break.

--214

That all nuns have entered convents because of unfortunate love affairs.

--215

That, being surrounded by alcoholic beverages and believing the temptation would be irresistible once he began, a bartender in the old days never took a drink.

--216

That all millionaires are born in small ramshackle houses situated near railroad tracks.