The Hesperides & Noble Numbers Part 145

Is it because his money all is spent?

No, but because the dingthrift now is poor, And knows not where i' th' world to borrow more.

425. UPON SHEWBREAD. EPIG.

Last night thou didst invite me home to eat; And showed me there much plate, but little meat.

Prithee, when next thou do'st invite, bar state, And give me meat, or give me else thy plate.

428. UPON ROOTS. EPIG.

Roots had no money; yet he went o' the score, For a wrought purse; can any tell wherefore?

Say, what should Roots do with a purse in print, That had not gold nor silver to put in't?

429. UPON CRAW.

Craw cracks in sirrop; and does stinking say, Who can hold that, my friends, that will away?

430. OBSERVATION.

Who to the north, or south, doth set His bed, male children shall beget.

433. PUTREFACTION.

Putrefaction is the end Of all that nature doth intend.

434. Pa.s.sION.

Were there not a matter known, There would be no pa.s.sion.

435. JACK AND JILL.

Since Jack and Jill both wicked be; It seems a wonder unto me, That they, no better do agree.

436. UPON PARSON BEANES.

Old Parson Beanes hunts six days of the week, And on the seventh, he has his notes to seek.

Six days he hollows so much breath away, That on the seventh, he can nor preach or pray.

438. SHORT AND LONG BOTH LIKES.

This lady's short, that mistress she is tall; But long or short, I'm well content with all.

440. UPON ROOK. EPIG.

Rook he sells feathers, yet he still doth cry Fie on this pride, this female vanity.

Thus, though the Rook does rail against the sin, He loves the gain that vanity brings in.

456. UPON SPUNGE. EPIG.

Spunge makes his boasts that he's the only man Can hold of beer and ale an ocean; Is this his glory? then his triumph's poor; I know the tun of Heidleberg holds more.

464. UPON ONE WHO SAID SHE WAS ALWAYS YOUNG.

You say you're young; but when your teeth are told To be but three, black-ey'd, we'll think you old.

465. UPON HUNCKS. EPIG.

Huncks has no money, he does swear or say, About him, when the tavern's shot's to pay.

If he has none in 's pockets, trust me, Huncks Has none at home in coffers, desks, or trunks.

476. UPON A CHEAP LAUNDRESS. EPIG.

Feacie, some say, doth wash her clothes i' th' lie That sharply trickles from her either eye.

The laundresses, they envy her good-luck, Who can with so small charges drive the buck.

What needs she fire and ashes to consume, Who can scour linens with her own salt rheum?

_Drive the buck_, wash clothes.

482. UPON SKURF.

Skurf by his nine-bones swears, and well he may: All know a fellon eat the tenth away.

_Fellon_, whitlow.

500. UPON JACK AND JILL. EPIG.

When Jill complains to Jack for want of meat, Jack kisses Jill and bids her freely eat: Jill says, Of what? says Jack, On that sweet kiss, Which full of nectar and ambrosia is, The food of poets. So I thought, says Jill, That makes them look so lank, so ghost-like still.

Let poets feed on air, or what they will; Let me feed full, till that I fart, says Jill.

503. UPON PARRAT.

Parrat protests 'tis he, and only he Can teach a man the art of memory: Believe him not; for he forgot it quite, Being drunk, who 'twas that can'd his ribs last night.