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Alix and Nonie had retreated down the pa.s.sage.
'What a place,' Alix was muttering savagely. 'Oh, _what_ a place.'
They came out on a different staircase; fleeing down it they were in a corridor, long and unhappy and full of hurrying housesurgeons and nurses and patients' friends (for it was visiting-hour).
4
'Huxley,' said Nonie suddenly. 'That's the creature's name.... I say,'
she accosted a fat little nurse with strings, 'where's Huxley, please?'
Huxley was far away. They reached it through many labyrinthine and sad ways. Through the gla.s.s door they saw a keen-faced doctor going from bed to bed with an attendant group of satellites--medical students, who laughed at intervals because he was witty, either about the case in hand or about some other amusing cases this one recalled to his memory, or at the foolish answers elicited from some student in response to questions.
They were a cheery set, and this doctor was a wit. Every few minutes he washed his hands. The wardsister companioned him round, and by the window stood four nurses at attention--the staff-nurse, the probationer, and two V.A.D.'s with red crosses on their ap.r.o.ns. It was a men's surgical ward. It was long and light, and had twenty-one beds, and Cot.
Cot was in the middle of the ward. He was three, and had peritonitis of the stomach, and he sat up on his pillow and wept, and wailed at intervals, 'Want to do 'ome. Want to do 'ome.'
'You're not the only one, sonny,' number three told him bitterly. 'We all want that.'
Twenty-one sad faces apathetically testified to his truthfulness.
Twenty-one weary sick men, whose rest had been broken at dawn because the night-nurses had to wash them all before they went off duty, and that meant beginning at 3.30 or 4, stared with sad, hollow eyes, and wanted to go 'ome.
The doctor washed his hands for the last time and went, his satellites after him. The probationer respectfully opened the door for them. Nonie and Alix stood back out of the way as they pa.s.sed, then Nonie's Peggy, who had seen them long since, came and fetched them in.
'I _am_ glad to see you,' she said.
Nonie said, 'You look dead, my child,' and she returned, 'Oh, it's only the standing. We're all in the same box. She,' she indicated the probationer, 'fainted this morning. And the staff-nurse has the most awful varicose veins. I believe most nurses get them sooner or later.
They _ought_ to be let to sit down when they get a chance, for sewing and things, but hospital rules are made of wood and iron. The other Red Crosser and I do sometimes sit, when Sister's out of the ward, but it's rather bad form really, when the regulars mayn't. Funny places, hospitals.... I've been getting into rows this morning for not polis.h.i.+ng the brights bright enough. Staff told me they had quite upset Sister.
Sister's very easily upset, unfortunately. Staff's a jolly good sort, though.... But look here, you must go. It's time for tea-trays; I shall have to be busy. I'll come round to-night after I'm off, Nonie--if I can get so far. You've got to go now; Staff's looking at us.'
They went. Staff called wearily to Peggy, 'Go and help Nurse Baker with trays, will you, dear. And you might take Daddy Thirteen's basin away.
He's done being sick for now, I dare say, and he's going to drop it on to the floor in a moment.'
Peggy hurried, but was too late. These things will happen sometimes....
5
'Hate hospitals, don't you?' said Nonie, as she had said when they entered. They were going out at the gates now. 'I suppose they have to be, though.'
'Suppose so,' Alix agreed listlessly.
Then with an effort she threw the hospital off.
'That's over, anyhow. I shan't go again. Let's come and do something awfully different now.'
They did.
6
When Alix got back to Violette, she was met in the little linoleumed hall by distress and pity, and Mrs. Frampton preparing to break something to her, with a kind, timid arm round her shoulders.
'Dearie, there was a telegram.... You were out, so we opened it.... Now you must be ever so brave.'
'No,' said Alix, rigid and leaning on her stick and whitely staring from narrowed eyes. 'No....'
'Oh, darling child, it's sad news.... I don't know how to tell you....
Dear, you _must_ be brave....'
'Oh, do get on,' muttered Alix, rude and sick.
'Dearie,' Mrs. Frampton was crying into her handkerchief. 'Poor Paul ...
your dear little brother ... dreadfully, badly wounded....'
'Dead,' Alix stated flatly, pulling away and leaning against the wall.
Violette was hot and smelt of food. Florence stumbled up the kitchen stairs with supper. From a long way off Mrs. Frampton sobbed, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away.... It's the Almighty's will.... The poor dear boy has died doing his duty and serving his country ... a n.o.ble end, dearie ... not a wasted life....'
'Not a wasted....' Alix said it after her mechanically, as if it was a foreign language.
'He died a n.o.ble death,' said Mrs. Frampton, 'serving his country in her need.'
Alix was staring at her with blue eyes suddenly dark and distended. The horror rose and loomed over her, like a great wave towering, just going to break.
'But--but--but--' she stammered, and put out her hands, keeping it off--'But he hadn't lived yet....'
Then the wave broke, like a storm cras.h.i.+ng on a s.h.i.+p at sea.
'It's a lie,' she screamed. 'Give me the telegram.... It's made up; it's a d.a.m.nable lie. The War Office always tells them: every one knows it does....'
They gave it her, pitifully. She read it three times, and it always said the same thing. She looked up for some way of escape from it, but found none, only Violette, hot and smelling of supper, and Mrs. Frampton crying, and Kate with working face, and Evie sympathetic and moved in the background, and Florence compa.s.sionate with the supper tray, and a stuffed squirrel in a gla.s.s case on the hall table.
Alix s.h.i.+vered and shook as she stood, with pa.s.sion and sickness and loss.
'But--but--' she began to stammer again, helplessly, like a bewildered child--'But he hadn't lived yet....'
Kate said gently, 'He has begun to live now, dear, for ever and ever.'
'World without end, amen,' added Mrs. Frampton, mopping her eyes.
Alix looked past them, at the stuffed squirrel.
'It's just some silly lie of course,' she said, indifferent and quiet, but still shaking. 'It will be taken back to-morrow.... I shall go to bed now.'
When Kate brought her up some supper on a tray, she found her lying on the floor, having abandoned the lie theory, having abandoned all theories and all words, except only, again and again, 'Paul ... Paul ...
Paul....'