The McNaughtens Part 2

Captain My soul was seized by astonishment.

Jenny (low) That's not surprising.

Urania (dreamily) And I was Venus, floating on this ca.n.a.l?

Captain Yes, Madame, your very self. My mind was taken with the n.o.ble spectacle. I went right up to you with no opposition--

Urania Did I have a n.o.ble air, a divine bearing? Speak sincerely.

Captain The most n.o.ble in the world. You seemed a G.o.ddess in the flesh.

Urania And what was I wearing? The G.o.ddess clothes?

Captain Madame, the G.o.ddess does not--

Urania Ah, ah--

Captain Unluckily, the G.o.ddess suddenly vanished from my sight.

Urania And were we separated?

Captain Then, I found myself in a grotto--which art had embellished more than nature. There, in full repose, crowned by flowers, I perceived you reclining on a couch of flowers. I persuaded you of my ardent feelings.

Urania And--

Captain You were touched--

Urania Ah, I was touched--

Captain By a new G.o.ddess. And taking from Venus her natural softness, languorously, you--

Urania What did I do?

Captain I don't know. By an unspeakable misfortune, my valet woke me up.

(aside) Whew! I couldn't go any further.

Jenny (aside) I should take lessons from him, decidedly.

Urania I am in despair because of this. Servants are always about when we don't want them. Horrid valet.

Captain Actually, Spruce comes in handy sometimes. But my dream was incomplete. How I wanted to finish it.

Urania Oh, and I want to finish it, too. To satisfy YOU, so that YOUR happiness will not be a chimera, to quench YOUR flames--after our marriage, of course. But I'm afraid that in the times in which we live, there's a distaste for marriage. Among the men, I mean. But possession alone takes the salt and taste from love.

Captain Ah, Madame, my love for you is so extreme, I am sure it must last until death. And if, by a misfortune which I cannot prevent, your death should-- Ah, great G.o.ds, what a frightful despair I would be in.

The very thought of it possesses my soul with remorse.

Urania Let's put that lugubrious idea far away from us. To better celebrate the pleasures of our reunion, I want to dine with you tonight. This morning, I invited a friend--you'll enjoy good company.

Captain Madame, this honor is very advantageous to me. A small business matter tears me away at present, but I will soon return. I'll hurry.

Urania Go, my darling. I will await you with impatience.

Captain (bowing, kissing her hand) Here--in a moment I will return.

(Exit the Captain)

Urania The love he has for me is not to be imagined.

Jenny (archly) No, m'am.

Urania In revenge, I will love him like crazy. How do you like him?

Jenny He's good looking. His valet, Spruce, isn't bad to look at, either. We are a little bit in love--but, who's coming-- It's Mr. Hastings.

(Enter Hastings)

Hastings h.e.l.lo, sis.

Urania Good day, brother, dear.

Hastings This is lucky, I was going to your house to speak to you on some business.

Urania This place is as good as any. You won't annoy me.

Hastings I want to marry Flavella off.

Urania That's not a bad idea. Your daughter is getting big, you know. People ask me how I can have such a grown up niece.

Hastings And our solicitor, Mr. Torrington, whose zeal for our family, you know, has found a good match for her. A young man endowed with wit and character--who possesses more than sixty thousand pounds which he has just inherited from an uncle. Torrington is the trustee of the estate, and has written me that the young heir will arrive today.

Urania I am truly easy. I think it's a fine idea.

Hastings This marriage would be a great advantage for our family. So, seeing that you are no longer interested in remarrying, I thought we might endow Flavella with your estate--reserving a life estate for you until your death.

Urania Until my death! Truly, brother, this project is very appealing to me!

I will do no such thing. My death, indeed!

Hastings But I already sort of promised--

Urania You promised, eh? Well, de-promise. I'll have you know, I still think I'm not past marrying and having children--

Hastings Having children, sis? You're joking, you're past fifty!

Urania Me! Fifty years old! Me! Jenny!

Jenny (defensively) Don't blame me. I've never told him your age! Because Madame has lived a while, people think she's no longer young. He's a stupid man.

Hastings Dear sister, I believe I've been quite fair in my calculations. I reasoned that since you are my elder sister, and I am past fifty myself--necessarily-- Therefor, how can I be wrong?