The Tarn of Eternity Part 38

"It's the rain! No, it's the snow! No, it's the dark of night!" The postmaster explained the reasons for such poor service. His subservients listened quietly, nodded in ready agreement with each of his explanations. Then they all sat back, put their feet on their respective desks, and talked incessantly about ways of solving the problem.

"Eh, shouldn't they be out delivering the mail, " Demo inquired?

"Well, yes, but we need to think about this big problem. The mail can wait."

Demo looked at the postmaster, shook his head, and started for home. He stopped. "Is there any mail for myself or my Mother?

I'll take it with me."

"Oh, you couldn't do that! Only we are authorized to deliver the mail. It'll be along in . . . , oh, in a week or so."

Cupid's arrow are very effective. In fact, they never fail.

Unfortunately, they do have a minor weakness. Their effect is not permanent. Thus Cupid must wander from place to place, zapping the same targets from time to time.

That isn't to bad, as Cupid is fast, his aim is accurate, and in an odd sort of way the victim enjoys the wound.

However, since he has previously inoculated his subjects, he must use the same concoction as previously. Otherwise the spell may work, but for an entirely different object of desire.

The problem with the mail was introducing another complication.

Cupid's spell was beginning to wear off for many a couple.

One such couple was Athena and Demo.

Not that they quarreled. Rather, as Athena phrased it, they discussed.

The discussion became loud, grew heated, and Athena paced angrily back and forth. "And I could have a G.o.d. But no! I choose a country b.u.mpkin! An insensitive, heartless, country b.u.mpkin."

Fire burned fiercely in her eyes as she glared at Demo.

"So he saved my life. Anyone could have done as well! Certainly that is no reason to condemn myself to live with him for an eternity. Look at him! Merely a mortal! And an immature, childish one at that!"

Demo blinked, swallowed.

He had never seen anyone so angry. Not even Theresa the time he spilled cold wine down her back. Well, maybe that time.

Nevertheless, no other.

This was indeed a crisis! Plainly, the mail system must be rescued, and Cupid's arrows quickly delivered!

Demo began his task by doing extended research. His first step was to read. History of the Post Office. Operation of a Post Office. Management books in general. Operations Research, Management a.n.a.lysis, Industrial Engineering, s.e.x Life of the Sea Turtle - Oops! That book was misfiled, on the wrong shelf.

Anyway, it was really dull reading.

He interviewed the customers of the Post Office. He interviewed those who delivered the mail. He interviewed the managers. The more they talked, the less he knew.

He attempted to examine the day-to-day operations. In spite of his credentials as Zeus' emissary, he found little cooperation.

Organization charts were missing. Long term plans were non-existent. Budgets were cursory doc.u.ments. Balance sheets and Profit and Loss statements were fiction.

The warehouses bulged!

The mail was acc.u.mulating at a phenomenal rate. The mail was being delivered at a minuscule rate.

Fingerpointing was rampant!

Managers blamed workers. Workers blamed management. Zeus blamed Demo. The people blamed everyone.

And Cupid waited impatiently for his arrows!

What to do!

He discussed the situation with his Mother.

"Why, dear, there really seem to be two problems. Delivering the mail that has acc.u.mulated, and insuring that it doesn't acc.u.mulate in the future. Perhaps you could burn the backlog, and throw away all incoming mail for a while."

"Burn! Throw away! Mother, Zeus would be furious! Besides, what if I burned Cupid's arrows? Athena and I might never be united!"

Nevertheless, he thought about his Mother's words. And thought of a brilliant solution to the first problem.

"Sire, we need to implement a two step process. First, we deliver all the outstanding mail. Second, we streamline the existing system to insure we don't again arrive at our present situation again."

"Fine, I like that. Do it!" Zeus seemed very agreeable.

"Well, yes, Sire. By the way, I'll need the services of Mercury."

"Of Mercury! He's my private messenger! How dare you! How long will you need his services? Ridiculous! When can I have him back? And how do you propose to use him?"

"We'll loan him to the Post Office Department. He'll distribute the backlog quickly and easily, and then we have only the second problem to solve."

Zeus frowned, then finally agreed.

Mercury's transfer to the Postal Department was delayed. Not because he objected; rather, because of the normal bureaucratic delays. Eventually the paperwork was completed and the transfer made.

The results were astounding. Within a day half of the backlog was distributed. It seemed that the initial problem was well on its way to being solved.

Appearances are deceiving!

On the second day the mail distribution once more failed. And Cupid had not yet received his arrows!

Demo hurried to talk to the Postmaster.