She Would Be a Soldier Part 3

_Enter JASPER and JENKINS from the cottage._

JASPER. Ah! Lenox, my boy, good morning to you. Why Christine, you have had a long ramble with the invalid.

CHRISTINE. Lenox leaves us immediately, dear father; the army is on the march.

JASPER. Well, he goes in good time, and may success attend him. Ods my life, when I was young, the sound of the drum and fife was like the music of the spheres, and the noise and bustle of a battle was more cheering to me, than "the hunter's horn in the morning." You will not forget us, Lenox, will you?

LENOX. Forget ye? Never--I should be the most ungrateful of men, could I forget that endearing attention which poured oil into my wounds, and comforted the heart of a desponding and mutilated soldier. No, Jasper, no; while life remains, yourself and daughter shall never cease to live in my grateful remembrance.

[_CHRISTINE and LENOX enter the cottage._

_Pastoral Music.--Peasants are seen winding down the mountains, headed by JERRY, dressed for a festive occasion, with white favours, nosegays, &c._

JERRY. Here I am, farmer Jasper--come to claim Miss Crissy as my wife, according to your promise, and have brought all my neighbours. How do you do?

JASPER. Well--quite well--and these are all your neighbours?

JERRY. Yes--there's Bob Short, the tanner; Nick Anvil, the blacksmith; Patty, the weaver's daughter--and the rest of 'em; come here, Patty, make a curtchey to the old soger--[_PATTY comes forward._]--a pretty girl! I could have had her, but she wanted edication--she wanted the airs and graces, as our schoolmaster says.

JASPER. Well, farmer, you are an honest man, but I fear my Christine will not approve this match, commenced without her advice, and concluded without her consent. Then her education has been so different from--

JERRY. O, fiddle-de-dee, I don't mind how larned she is, so much the better--she can teach me to parlyvoo, and dance solos and duets, and such elegant things, when I've done ploughing.

JASPER. But I'm not sure that she will like you.

JERRY. Not like me? Come, that's a good one; only look at my movements--why she can't resist me. I'm the boy for a race, for an apple-paring or quilting frolic--fight a c.o.c.k, hunt an opossum, or snare a partridge with any one.--Then I'm a squire, and a county judge, and a _brevet_ ossifer in the militia besides; and a devil of a fellow at an election to boot. Not have me? damme, that's an insult. Besides, sergeant Jasper, I've been to the wars since I've seen ye--got experience, laurels and lilies, and all them there things.

JASPER. Indeed!

JERRY. Yes--sarved a campaign, and was at the battle of Queenstown. What do you think of that?

JASPER. And did you share in the glory of that spirited battle?

JERRY. O yes, I shared in all the glory--that is--I didn't fight. I'll tell you how it was: I marched at the head of my village sogers, straight as the peac.o.c.k in my farm yard, and I had some of the finest lads in our county, with rifles--well, we march'd and camp'd, and camp'd and march'd, and were as merry as grigs until we arrived at the river: half the troops had cross'd and were fighting away like young devils: ods life, what a smoke! what a popping of small arms, and roaring of big ones! and what a power of red coats!

JASPER. Well, and you panted to be at them? clubb'd your rifles, and dashed over?

JERRY. Oh no, I didn't--I was afear'd that in such a crowd, n.o.body would see how I fought, so I didn't cross at all. Besides, some one said, it were contrary to law and the const.i.tution, to go into the enemy's country, but if they com'd into our country, it were perfectly lawful to flog 'em.

JASPER. And you did not cross?

JERRY. Oh no, I stood still and look'd on; it were contrary to the const.i.tution of my country, and my own const.i.tution to boot--so I took my post out of good gun shot, and felt no more fear nor you do now.

JASPER. No doubt. Admirable sophistry, that can s.h.i.+eld cowards and traitors, under a mistaken principle of civil government! I've heard of those scruples, which your division felt when in sight of the enemy. Was that a time to talk of const.i.tutions--when part of our gallant army was engaged with unequal numbers? Could you calmly behold your fellow citizens falling on all sides, and not avenge their death? Could you, with arms in your hands, the enemy in view, with the roar of cannon thundering on your ear, and the flag of your country waving amidst fire and smoke--could you find a moment to think of const.i.tutions? Was that a time to pause and suffer coward scruples to unnerve the arm of freemen?

JERRY. Bravo! bravo! sergeant Jasper; that's a very fine speech--I'll vote for you for our a.s.semblyman; now just go that over again, that I may get it by heart for our next town meeting--blazing flags--fiery cannon--smoking const.i.tutions--

JASPER. I pray you pardon me. I am an old soldier, and fought for the liberty which you enjoy, and, therefore, claim some privilege in expressing my opinion. But come, your friends are idle, let us have breakfast before our cottage door.--Ah, Jerry, my Crissy would make a fine soldier's wife: do you know that I have given her a military education?

JERRY. No, surely--

JASPER. Aye, she can crack a bottle at twelve paces with a pistol.

JERRY. Crack a bottle! Come, that's a good one; I can crack a bottle too, but not so far off.

JASPER. And then she can bring down a buck, at any distance.

JERRY. Bring down a buck? I don't like that--can't say as how I like my wife to meddle with bucks. Can she milk--knit garters--make apple b.u.t.ter and maple sugar--dance a reel after midnight, and ride behind her husband on a pony, to see the trainings of our sogers--that's the wife for my money. Oh, here she comes.

_Enter CHRISTINE and LENOX from the cottage._

JASPER. Christine, here is farmer Mayflower and his friends, who have come to visit our cottage, and you in particular.

CHRISTINE. They are all welcome. Good morning, Jerry--how is it with you?

JERRY. Purely, Miss Crissy, I'm stout and hearty, and you look as pretty and as rosy as a field of pinks on a suns.h.i.+ny morning.

JASPER. Come here, farmer--give me your hand--Christine, yours--[_Joins them._]--there; may you live long and happy, and my blessings ever go with you.

Christine. [_Aside in amazement._] Heavens! what can this mean? [_LENOX is agitated--pause--JASPER and group retire--LENOX remains at a distance._]

JERRY. Why, Miss Crissy, your father has consented that I shall marry you, and I've come with my neighbours to have a little frolic, and carry you home with me.

CHRISTINE. And am I of so little moment as not to be consulted? Am I thus to be given away by my father without one anxious question? [_With decision._] Farmer, pardon my frankness; on this occasion, sincerity alone is required--I do not like you, I will not marry you--nay, do not look surprised. I am a stranger to falsehood and dissimulation, and thus end at once all hopes of ever becoming my husband.

JERRY. Why, now, Miss Crissy, that's very cruel of you--I always had a sneaking kindness for you, and when your father gave his consent, I didn't dream as how you could refuse me.

CHRISTINE. My father has ever found me dutiful and obedient, but when he bestows my hand, without knowing whether my heart or inclinations accompany it, I feel myself bound to consult my own happiness. I cannot marry you, farmer.

LENOX. [_Advancing._] All things are prepared, and I am now about to depart. Christine, farewell! Friends, good fortune await you! [_Aside._]

Dear Christine, remember me.

[_Exit hastily._

JERRY. Lack-a-daisy! What a disappointment to me, when I had put my house in such nice order--painted my walls--got a new chest upon chest--two new bed quilts, and a pair of pumps, and had the pig-sty and dairy whitewashed.--Hang me, after all, I believe, she is only a little shy. Oh, I see it now, she only wants a little coaxing--a little sparking or so--I've a great mind to kiss her. I will, too.

[_Approaches CHRISTINE, who stands at a distance, buried in deep thought._

CHRISTINE. Begone--dare not touch me! Heavens, am I reserved for this humiliation? Could my father be so cruel?

JERRY. Now, Crissy, don't be so shy--you know you like me--you know you said t' other day, when I were out training, that I held up my head more like a soger than anybody in the ranks; come now, let's make up; you'll always find me a dutiful husband, and if I ever flog you, then my name's not Jerry.

_Enter JASPER from the cottage, with a basket; PEASANTS following with fruit._

JASPER. Come, let us have breakfast in the open air--help me to arrange the table.

JERRY. Breakfast! Oh, true, I've a powerful appet.i.te.

[_a.s.sists._