King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays Part 4

MADAM POTIPHAR. Well, you need not begin immediately. _I_ want a little of your time just now.

JOSEPH. If it is an errand, I will call one of the slaves.

MADAM POTIPHAR. Do you mean--one of the other slaves?

JOSEPH. I, madam, am no longer a slave.

_He holds up his hand, and looks at the ring_.

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_incredulous_) How did this happen? Did you _buy_ your freedom, perchance?

JOSEPH. No. Your husband gave it to me a moment ago.

MADAM POTIPHAR. Gave it to you? You mean that you swindled him out of it in some way!

JOSEPH. As you please, madam.

MADAM POTIPHAR. Well, it is his own affair if he wishes to give away such valuable property. Only--it is difficult to adjust oneself to a change like that.

JOSEPH. Do not, I pray, let the change disturb you.

MADAM POTIPHAR. No, I insist. It is both a duty and a pleasure. Since you are now a free man, Joseph, I propose that we treat each other as equals and friends.

JOSEPH. That will be very considerate of us both.

MADAM POTIPHAR. Sir, you are insolent. No, no--I mean, my friend, you are very rude.

JOSEPH. Thank you for making the distinction. And now, since we are to treat each other as equals and friends, I beg you--(_he takes some small objects from his wallet and holds them out in his hand_)--to take these hairpins, which are the mementos of your various visits to my room. As a slave, no suspicion, of course, could attach to me in connection with a lady of your rank. But as equals and friends, we both have our reputations to preserve.

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_taking them_) Thank you.(_She restores them to her hair_.) I lose them everywhere I go. They fall out every time I speak.

They mean nothing whatever.

JOSEPH. It is unnecessary to explain that to me. I am perfectly aware of the fact.

MADAM POTIPHAR. You are perfectly aware of everything, aren't you, Joseph?

JOSEPH. Everything that it is to my interest to be aware of, madam.

MADAM POTIPHAR. No--there is one thing you don't know, and I am going to tell you.

JOSEPH. Proceed, madam.

_He takes the coin from the table_.

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_coming close to him and looking boldly into his eyes_) Can't you guess?

_At this moment Joseph drops the coin from his hand, and it rolls away. Joseph starts, looks after it, and goes across the room to pick it up_.

JOSEPH. One must take care of the small coins!

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_angrily_) Oh!

_She flings off to the window, Joseph returns and seats himself on the little stool at the nearer end of the table, with a papyrus in front of him. He reads it in silence. Madam Potiphar comes and seats herself on the table, and looks down at him. He continues to study the papyrus. She leans over to see what he is doing, and then, as he pays no attention, she turns so that she is reclining p.r.o.ne along its length, facing him, her chin in her hands, one foot idly waving in the air_.

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_gently_) Am I bothering you?

JOSEPH. Not at all.

MADAM POTIPHAR. I like to watch you work.

JOSEPH. I don't mind.

MADAM POTIPHAR. You are very interesting to look at, do you know?

JOSEPH. (_absently_) Yes, I know.

MADAM POTIPHAR. Little egotist!

JOSEPH. (_unperturbed_) Yes.

_He rises and seats himself at the side of the table. Propping his papyrus against the reclining body of Madam Potiphar, he takes a new sheet of papyrus, and commences to copy a pa.s.sage_.

MADAM POTIPHAR. (_wriggling about to look at him_) What are you copying?

JOSEPH. Be careful. Don't jiggle my ma.n.u.script, please!

MADAM POTIPHAR. I asked, what are you copying?

JOSEPH. I am copying some inaccurate information about the climate of Egypt, with reference to the yearly crop-yield. . . . I wonder if there is any one in Egypt who has exact information on that subject? . . .

MADAM POTIPHAR. The yearly crop-yield! What do you care about the yearly crop-yield?

JOSEPH. Never mind. You wouldn't understand if I told you.

MADAM POTIPHAR. You are quite right. Besides, I didn't come here to talk about crops.

JOSEPH. (_writing_) No. You came here to talk about me.

MADAM POTIPHAR. I came here to talk about my cousin Asenath. You knew she was coming--why didn't you tell me you had been in service in her father's household in Heliopolis?

JOSEPH. (_writing_) It wasn't necessary for me to tell you. I knew she would.

MADAM POTIPHAR. No doubt you think we sat there all the time she was combing her hair, and talked about you!

JOSEPH. (_writing_) Precisely.

MADAM POTIPHAR. I suppose you know she is crazy about you!