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She stood up with Cutchen and Hayes. The three of them scanned those dour, frightened faces in the room.
"I guess that's it then," Hayes said. "We leave in an hour. Any of you happen to grow a pair of b.a.l.l.s by then, meet us out at the SnoCat."
The three of them left and the gathering broke up. Broke up quietly. n.o.body had a thing to say. They plodded back to the dark corners of their lives and looked for a convenient pile of sand to stick their heads into.
37.
Two or three times on the way up to the tent camp, Hayes found himself wondering what in the h.e.l.l LaHune was up to. His sudden about-face was worrisome. Troubling. There was no sense of satisfaction attached to it; none whatsoever. No, thank G.o.d you're with us now, Mister LaHune, things is going to be better now, yessum. For LaHune, as far as Hayes was concerned, was a man with an agenda and Hayes had to wonder just how this abrupt turn of face might possibly serve the administrator and his masters.
There had to be something there.
And maybe had he been more awake, not so worn and squeezed dry, he might have seen it. But as things stood, he was having trouble thinking about little else but the storm and the darkness and the incredible danger they were all in.
They had not been able to honestly identify who the body that Holm ran over belonged to. There was no ID on the corpse and its physical state was appalling. Like 150 pounds of b.l.o.o.d.y meat poured into a parka and thermal wind pants. But they had answered one little question. They'd been wondering what the scenario of all that was. They found it hard to believe their John Doe had made it all the way from Gates' encampment to Kharkhov on foot and in a Condition One blizzard yet. But about two miles from the station they'd found a Ski-Doo snowmobile abandoned on the ice road. Their John Doe had escaped on the sled and Holm had come after him on the Spryte.
And what would have happened, Hayes wondered, if Holm had gotten him out on the road? What then?
He kept picturing Holm returning and doing the most awful things once they'd invited him amongst them. Because, of course, they would have. Like a disease germ he would have circulated freely and then - "What are we going to do," Cutchen said then, "if we find no one at the camp? Or worse, what if they're all dead or . . . possessed like Holm? What then?"
"We'll do whatever feels right," Sharkey said.
"Regardless of what that might be," Hayes added.
And that was it in a nutsh.e.l.l, wasn't it? Regardless of what that might be. Because honestly he had no idea what they were going into, only that the idea of it gave him about the same sense of apprehension as sticking his hands into a nest of rattlesnakes sidled up in a desert crevice. The idea of getting bit wasn't what bothered him, it was the idea of the venom itself. And the sort of venom he might get stuck with in those blasphemous ruins was the sort that could erase who and what he was and birth something invidious and primal implanted in his genes a hundred-thousand millennia before.
You don't know that, you really don't.
Yet, he did.
Maybe whatever it was had hid itself in the primal depths of the human psyche, but it was there, all right. Waiting. Biding its time. A ghost, a memory, a revenant hiding in the dank and dripping crypt of the human condition like a pestilence waiting to overtake and infect. A cursed tomb waiting to be violated, waiting to loose some eldritch horror upon the world. An in-bred plague that festered in the wormy charnel depths of the subconscious, waiting to be woken, activated by the discordant piping of alien minds.
Dear Christ, there could be nothing as horrible as this.
Nothing.
He did not and could not know the ultimate aim of awakening the sleeping dragon the Old Ones had planted in the minds of men . . . but it would be colossal, it would be immense, it would be the end of history as they knew it and the beginning of something else entirely. The continuation of that primordial seeding, the vast outer extremity of that tree, the ultimate objective.
The final fruit.
It made Hayes weak just to think of it, whatever it might be.
So he did not think about it. Not much, anyway.
He kept an eye on what the blazing lights of the SnoCat showed him. Which was just snow and whiteness, ragged ridges of black rock. The terrain was rough and hilly as they plied the foothills of the Dominion Range, moving up frozen slopes and down through rivers of drift, bouncing madly over crests of volcanic rock. Moving ever higher and higher along the ice road.
"Jesus," Cutchen said as the SnoCat shook like a wet tabby, "this is worse than I thought. We have no business out here . . . those winds are sweeping down from the mountains and picking up everything in their path, peeling this f.u.c.king continent right down to the bare rock."
"We'll make it," Hayes said. "Unless the GPS goes to h.e.l.l."
"You can't trust anything in a blow like this."
The storm.
Hayes could see it out there in that haunted blackness, the headlights clotted with snow thick as a fall of flower petals, thick as dust blowing through the decayed corridors of a ghost town. It was more than just a Condition One storm with near-zero visibility and winds approaching a hundred miles an hour and snow falling by the bails, pushed into frozen crests and waves. No, this was bigger than that. This was every storm that had ever sc.r.a.ped across the Geomagnetic graveyard of that white, dead continent. Pacific typhoons and Atlantic hurricanes, Midwestern tornadoes and oceanic white squalls, tempests and blizzards and violent gales . . . all of them converging here, bled dry of their force and suction and devastation, reborn at the South Pole in a screaming glacial white-out that was sculpting the rugged landscape in canopies of frost, leeching warmth, driving blood to freon, and pus.h.i.+ng anything alive down into a polar tomb, a necropolis of black, cracking ice.
And, just maybe, it was more than that even.
The winds were cyclonic and whipping, making the SnoCat shake and feel like it was going to be vacuumed right up into that Arctic maelstrom or maybe be entombed beneath a mountain of drifting now. But these were physical things . . . palpable things you could feel and know, things with limitations despite their intensity.
But there were other things on the storm.
Things funneling and raging in that vortex that you could only feel in your soul, things like pain and insanity and fear. Maybe wraiths and ghosts and all those demented minds lost in storms and whirlwinds, creeping things from beyond death or nameless evils that had never been born . . . the gathered malignancies and earthbound toxins of that which was human and that which was not, writhing shadows blown from pole to pole since antiquity. Yes, all of that and more, the collected horrors of the race and the sheared veil of the grave, coming together at once, breathing in frost and exhaling blight, a deranged elemental sentience that howled and screeched and cackled in the shrill and broken voices of a million, a million-million lost and tormented souls . . .
Hayes was feeling them out there on that moaning storm-wind, enclosing the SnoCat in a frozen winding sheet. Death. Unseen, unspeakable, and unstoppable, filling its lungs with a savage whiteness and his head with a scratching black madness. He kept his eyes fixed on the winds.h.i.+eld, what the headlights could show him: snow and wind and night, everything all wrapped and twined together, coming at them and drowning them in darkness. He kept blinking his eyes, telling himself he wasn't seeing death out there. Wasn't seeing spinning cloven skulls and the blowing, rent shrouds of deathless cadavers flapping like high masts. Boiling storms of sightless eyes and ragged cornhusk figures flitting about. Couldn't hear them calling his name or sc.r.a.ping at the windows with white skeletal fingers.
It was imagination.
It was stress and terror and fatigue.
Too many things.
He could feel Sharkey next to him, her leg against his own and both separated by inches of fleece and wool and vinyl. He wondered if she saw what he was seeing and if she did . . . why didn't she scream? Why didn't they both scream? What held them together and why were those seams sewn so tightly, so strongly that not even this could tear them?
My G.o.d, but Hayes felt alone.
Maybe there were people in the cab with him and maybe he had only willed them to be there so he didn't go stark, screaming insane. That viscid, living blackness was pressing down upon the SnoCat, inhuming it beneath layers of frozen graveyard soil. And he could feel it happening. Could sense the weight and pressure, the eternal suffocation of that oblong box. His throat was scratchy. The air thin and dusty. His breath was being sucked away and his brain was dissolving into a firmament of rot. Nothing but worms and time and clotted soil. Oh, dear G.o.d, he could really feel it now, that claustrophobic sense of entombment, of burial, of moist darkness. He could really hear the sounds of rats pawing at his box and the scratching requiem of a tuneless violin, time filtering out into dusty eternity. And his own voice, frantic and terrified: Who did you think you were to flex your muscle against this land? To raise your fist in defiance against those who created you and everything else? The dark lords of organic profusion? What worming disobedience made you think for one s.h.i.+vering instant you could fight against those minds that already own you and have owned your kind since you first crawled from the protoplasmic slime?
Oh, dear Christ, what had he been thinking? What had he - "Are you all right?" Sharkey suddenly asked him.
And the answer to that was something he did not know.
He'd been thinking about what the Old Ones had buried at the core of humanity. He'd been talking about the weather with Cutchen and then . . . and then he wasn't sure. Hallucinations. Fears. Insecurities. Everything coming at him at once. But none of it had been real. None of it.
He swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Really fine?" she said.
"h.e.l.l no," he said honestly.
"We're close," Cutchen suddenly said. His voice was calm, yet full of the apprehension a doctor might use when he told you your belly was full of cancer. "According to the GPS, we're practically there."
But Hayes knew that without looking. He could feel it in his b.a.l.l.s, his guts, along the back of his spine. It was an ancient sensory network and in the worst of times, it was rarely wrong.
Hayes slowed the SnoCat, downs.h.i.+fted, said, "Yippy-f.u.c.king-skippy."
38.
When Hayes stepped out of the SnoCat, first thing he became aware of was that silence. The wind was still blowing and the snow was still falling, but they were protected here in the lower ranges of the Transantarctic Mountains. You could hear the wind howling still, but it was distant now. Here, in the little valley where Gates had set up his tent camp, it was silent and lonely and forever. All he could hear around them was an odd sighing sound like respiration. Like something was breathing. Some weird atmospheric condition produced by the rocky peaks around them, no doubt.
The sky above was pink and you could see fairly-well in the semi-darkness. Here the glacial sheet had been stopped by the Dominion Range, had piled up into breathtaking bluffs of crystal blue ice like sheets of broken gla.s.s several hundred feet in height. The snow had been stripped down to the glossy black volcanic rock beneath, a terrain full of sudden dips and craggy draws. And above, standing sentinel were those rolling Archaean hills and the high towers of the mountains themselves, like the cones of witch hats rising grimly up into the polar wastes. Rolling clouds of ice-fog blew down from them in a breath of mist.
Standing there, taking in that primeval vista all around him and feeling its haunted aura, Hayes was struck how the landscape looked like something plucked from some dead, alien world light years distant. High and jagged and surreal, a phantasmal netherworld of sharp and spiky summits that reminded him of monuments, of obelisks, of menhirs . . . as if they were not merely geological features, but the craggy and towering steeples of ancient, weathered tombstones. That what he saw was nothing so simple as a mountain range, but the narrow and leaning masonry of the world's oldest cemetery.
Yes, this is where the G.o.ds came to bury their own . . . here in this polar mortuary at the bottom of the world. A shunned place like a graveyard of alien witches.
And, Jesus, hadn't he seen these mountains in his dreams? In dozens of nightmares since earliest childhood? Weren't they imprinted on the mind and soul of every man and woman? That deranged geography of sharp-peaked cones, that unwavering line of warning beacons?
Hayes stood there, his beard frosted white, shaking, seeing those mountains and feeling certain that they were seeing him, too. They inspired a terror so pure, so infinite, so aged, that he literally could not move. Those peaks and pinnacles were somehow very wrong. They were desolate and G.o.dless and spiritually toxic, a perverse geometry that reached inside the human mind and squeezed the blood out of what they found there. Literally wrung out the human soul like a sponge, draining it, leeching it. Yes, there was something ethereal and spatially demented about those aboriginal hills and they were like a siren song of destruction to the human mind. Geometrically grotesque, here was the place where time and s.p.a.ce, dimension and madness came together, mating into something that fractured the human mind.
So Hayes stood there, letting it fill him as he knew it must.
The cones had an uncanny hypnotic effect on him, a morphic pull that made him want to do nothing but stare. Just stand there and watch them, trace them with his eyes, feel their soaring height and antiquity. And he would have stood there for an hour or five, mesmerized by them, until he froze up and fell over. Because the more you watched them, the more you wanted to. And the more you began to see almost a funny sort of light arcing off the crests and narrow tips, a jumping and glowing emission like electricity or stolen moonlight. It made Hayes' heart pound and his head reel, made his fingertips tingle and filled the black pot of his belly with a spreading heat like coals being fanned up into a blaze. He had felt nothing like it in years, maybe never: an exhilaration, a vitality, a preternatural sense of awe that just emptied his mind of anything but those rising, primal cones.
Pabodie had called them the "Mountains of Madness" and, dear G.o.d, how very apt that was.
For Hayes felt practically hysterical looking upon them.
But more than that he felt a budding, burgeoning sense of wonder and purpose and necessity. The import and magnitude of this place . . . yes, it was enough to drive any man insane. Insane with a knowledge of exactly who and what he was. Destiny. The sense that he had come full circle.
"Jimmy?" Sharkey said and it almost sounded like she was calling to him from one of those conic apexes. "Jimmy? Jimmy, are you all right?"
"Yeah," he said.
He looked away from those peaks that had snagged his mind. Looked at Sharkey and then at Cutchen. In the glow of Cutchen's lantern their faces were drawn with concern. With fright and apprehension and too G.o.dd.a.m.n many things to catalog.
"I'm okay," he said. "Really."
He had only felt something like that once in his life. Just after high school he'd worked at a transformer substation where the juice traveling down high-tension wires was stepped down, dampened, for household and industrial consumption. He'd quit after three weeks. Those transformers had been p.i.s.sing out an energy that only he seemed to be aware of. When he got too close to them, his teeth ached and his spine crawled like it was covered with hundreds of ants. But there was a mental effect, too. It amped him up. Made him feel nervous and antsy and wired like he was full of caffeine or c.o.ked-up. Later on, one of the engineers told him that the high-tension lines and their attendant transformers put out moderate alternating electrical and magnetic fields and some people were just more susceptible to them.
Those high peaks were doing that to him, he knew. Creating a negative charge of energy that maybe only he was feeling.
Sharkey put her gloved hand on his arm. "You can feel it, can't you?" she said, touching her chest and her head. "In here and here . . . an attraction to this place, a magnetism or something. The secret life of these mountains and what they hide."
"Yes," he said. "It's strong."
Even turned away from those spires and cones he was feeling it right down to his marrow. A dizzy sense of deja-vu, deja-vu squared. A dark and misty recognition of something long-forgotten and rediscovered. But it was more that, it was much more. He was feeling something else, too, something huge that seemed to blot out his rational mind. He was in touch with some ancient network and he could feel the legacy of his race, the twisted and shadowy ancestral heritage that had been pa.s.sed down from impossibly ancient and forgotten days. The race memory of this place and others like it, the creatures who occupied them . . . all of it was rus.h.i.+ng up at him, sinking him in a mire of atavism and primal terror. These things had been written and remembered, he knew, in the form of folktale and legend and myth. Channeled through the ages into tales of winged demons and devils, night-haunts and the Wild Hunt itself.
But if those were just tales, then what inspired them was bleak and real.
"Okay, let's go take a peak before I start beating my sacrificial drum and chanting about the Old Ones," he said.
They both looked at him.
"Never mind."
"I suppose we might see things," Cutchen said, maybe just to himself. "I suppose we might hear things."
As they climbed down away from the SnoCat and deeper into the valley towards Gates' camp, Hayes concentrated only on each step. He pressed one boot down into the snow and followed it with another. Kept doing this, disconnecting himself from the aura of this place and what it could do to him. He saw nothing and he heard nothing and that was just fine.
When they reached the periphery of Gates' encampment, they just stopped like they met a wall. They stopped and panned their lights around. Everything was quiet and still like sleeping marble. It could have been a midnight cemetery they were in and the atmosphere felt about the same . . . hush, breathless, uninviting. The camp was grim and cold and bleak, crawling with black, hooded shadows. It had all the atmosphere of a mausoleum. Just the gentle moan of the wind, tent flaps rustling in the breeze.
Hayes knew it was empty long before he entered.
Not so much as a single light was lit and the place just felt dead, deserted.
They could see a couple Ski-Doo snowmobiles dusted with white, the hulk of Gates' SnoCat. A wall of snow blocks surrounded the actual camp as a wind-shelter, with secondary walls to protect the cooking area and give some privacy to the latrine. There were a series of rugged Scott tents and bright red mountaineering tents that were anch.o.r.ed down with nylon lines and ice-screws, dead man bolts. Snow had been heaped around them to guard against the fierce Antarctic gusts. A couple fish huts had been set up and there was a Polar Haven for storage.
Just a typical research camp.
Except it was completely lifeless.
Lifeless, yes, but far from unoccupied.
Hayes led the way into one of the fish huts. It was being used as sort of a community living area. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Cots and sleepmats, sleeping bags and vinyl duffels of personal items. Some boots and ECW's hanging along the wall. A couple MSR stoves near the wall. Boxes of canned and dehydrated foods, propane stoves, water jugs. A field radio and INMARSAT system for voice and data transmission and retrieval. A corkboard was hanging above it with notes and telnet numbers. Somebody had tacked a photo of G.o.dzilla up and pencilled in a smile on his face Cutchen swallowed. "Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Except everything's down," Sharkey said. "Generator's quit, Ethernet is off. Like it was abandoned."
"C'mon," Hayes said.
He went into the other fish hut. It was being used as a field lab by Gates and his people. A table was heaped with fossil specimens, others were bagged and tagged in crates and boxes. There were a pair of portable Nikon binocular microscopes, a few boxes of slides and trays of instruments. Hand-drills and chippers. Some bottles of chemicals and acids, piles of cribbed notes with an ammonite fossil used as a paperweight. A curtain separated a cramped dark room with cameras and a photomacroscope.
Sharkey paged through the notes. "Nothing interesting," she said. "Geologic and paleontologic stuff . . . measurements and cla.s.sifications, sketches and stratigraphy and the like. Stuff about brachiopods, crinoids . . . fossil-bearing stratas."
"Geo one-oh-one," Cutchen said.
Sharkey kept looking.
There were squat shelves crowded with spiral-bound notebooks, rolled-up maps, ledgers, boxes of writeable CDs. A few odd books. Down on her hands and knees, Sharkey checked it all out with her flashlight. She pulled out manila folders, hand-written field logs.
"Are you doing inventory?" Cutchen finally said.
"Yes, I am," she said, still searching. "I just have to find out how many rolls of toilet paper they've used up."
Hayes giggled.
Cutchen flipped her off.