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circle until they snag one."
Sarah twisted her mouth. "That's somewhat chauvinistic of you. Not all women are like that. I'm not, and I've never been married."
He was glad to see the tears had faded. "You're smart. You know who you are, and that's what I like about you. You don't need a man to define who you are."
She looked doubtful. "You make me sound like some rampant feminist career
old maid."
Her fingers toyed with the ends of his scarf. Alex liked that she felt comfortable enough with him, even now, to touch him so casually. He laced his fingers with hers as best he could through the mutual bulk of their gloves.
"Because I'm not." She might be allowing him to hold her hands, but her voice was still all thorns and no rose. "I'd like to get married someday, Alex.
Have a family, all that."
"Good."
Sarah's creamy cheeks flushed. "I just meant--"
"You're no shark. They are, and you're not."
Sarah smiled mischievously. "They were both rather predatory."
Alex rolled his eyes. "You don't have to tell me."
She peered at him through the snow fringing her lashes. "I'm sure it's not as
nice as it might seem. Being chased like that, I mean."
He noticed her s.h.i.+vering. The air had become much colder, and the snow was coming down faster. "Let's get inside."
Alex helped Sarah into the Tahoe, then climbed in. She was right. Having women throw themselves at him had seemed great for a while, but had lost its l.u.s.ter lately. "When someone likes me or dislikes me because of the way I look..." Alex voiced aloud for the first time thoughts he had barely realized he had. "I can't really care about how they feel. Their opinion of me isn't real."
Sarah bit her lip and appeared to think. "At least my relations.h.i.+ps have been with people who like me. Really like me, I mean."
Except for William, he knew she was thinking, but didn't say. Again, he wanted to find the jerk and throttle him.
"I was a lonely guy before you came along." He wanted to lighten the mood that had suddenly grown too serious. "I was shark bait."
Sarah gave him the look again. "That you are incredibly handsome helped, I'm sure."
"The only person I want to think I'm handsome is you." He pretended to think. "And maybe my mother."
"Well good luck, sweetheart." Sarah laughed. "I think you're out of luck there."
Alex grinned. "Then you'll just have to stay with me all the time so you can help me fend off all those man-hungry women."
"Maybe we can get you one of those cages like on Underwater Kingdom."
She linked her fingers with his. He suddenly noticed how cold the air in the truck had turned with the snow coming down so quickly. The roads were going to be dangerous if they didn't leave soon.
"I'm sorry it bothers you so much." He buckled his belt and heard her buckle hers.
Once again, Sarah didn't need to ask him to explain himself. He saw by the way her fingers played restlessly with her seatbelt that she knew exactly what he meant.
She sighed. "It does bother me. But I guess it's something I'll have to get used to."
"If I could change things, I would."
"Don't say that." In the green glow from the dashboard her eyes were luminously, eerily lovely. "Don't ever wish to change who you are. I like everything about you just the way it is."
It was only as he put the truck into gear and drove into the snow Alex realized one thing. She had said "like." He'd told her he loved her, and Sarah hadn't said it back.
In her own bed, sleep evaded Sarah. She turned onto her side and grumbled when her nightgown tangled around her legs. The moment after she become comfortable in the new position, she suddenly felt too hot and had to toss off the covers. Moments after that, of course, she got the chills and had to wrestle the comforter back on.
It was because she was alone. The bed seemed too big and too empty. She missed Alex. Though he'd only slept in her bed twice, she missed having him there.
"d.a.m.n."
He'd said he loved her, and like an idiot, she had said nothing in return. Love! Alex Caine had said he loved her, Sarah Lazin!
She had no doubt he meant it. Though the physical time they had known each other was short, the emotional time was much longer. Two people couldn't talk for hours every night without learning something about each other.
But did she love him? What wasn't there to love? She'd already established that he was handsome. A successful businessman. Kind, generous, and compa.s.sionate. He had a wonderfully witty and weird sense of humor. That they had nothing in common didn't seem important any more; taste in soft drinks and reading material didn't count for much in the long run. What really mattered was how they connected.
But love? Sarah had only been wildly in love once--with William. Though the thought made her cringe now, she had definitely loved the jerk. That he had been completely and totally unworthy of even her lowest affections she had no doubt now, but at the time he'd been like a gift from heaven.
If she could tell William Darcy she loved him, what in the world had held her back from telling Alex? Fear? Probably. Definitely. Love had a funny way of showing up when you least expected it. She wasn't afraid he was going to turn out to be another William. Nor was she afraid Alex was merely filling her head with pretty words to get her into bed.
She was afraid that what had happened in the mall would always happen. How could she stand up to that? Constantly standing aside while beautiful women made pa.s.ses at Alex? Whether he responded or not, it didn't really matter. The sharks would keep circling as long as he was in the water.
She needed to talk to someone. It was well after midnight. Rivka would either be asleep or busy with Mick. The last thing Sarah wanted to do was interrupt either her sister's sleep ... or other activities.
Instead, she dialed Darren's number. The phone rang twice before someone answered. She didn't recognize the voice.
"Darren?" she ventured anyway.
"This is Lance," the male voice on the line said. "Who's this?"
She heard herself stutter. "This ... this is Sarah."
"Boss lady!" Lance had a deep, rumbling voice that reminded Sarah of a
freight train. "Hang on, Sarah, and I'll get him for you."
"Honey, what's wrong?" Darren asked.
"Nothing." Sarah was suddenly embarra.s.sed. What was she thinking, calling
Darren so late? He had a life, too, one it sounded like she was interrupting.
"You don't call me at one a.m. to chat about the weather, honey. I know
there's a blizzard outside and all, but that ain't exactly something I couldn't figure out myself."
"There's a blizzard?"
She had known it was snowing, but since she preferred sleeping in complete
darkness, she'd drawn the blinds when she'd gone to bed. Now she sprung
from beneath the covers and tugged up the window shade.
"That's what I said, honey. Me and Lance here were just lighting a fire and toasting some marshmallows."
"At this time of night?" Sarah asked dubiously.
"Well, no one's going to work tomorrow, Sarah." From the background came
Lance's deep, rumbling laugh. "Weatherman said we're going to get four feet at least."
There was something so magical about a snow-covered world. The flakes
were huge and soft, coating everything in a layer of white. She wished she could be sharing the snow and its magic with Alex, but they had agreed he wouldn't stay over on weeknights. Too many tired mornings could wreak havoc on both their careers.
"He told me he loved me." Once the words shot from her mouth, it was too
late to take them back. Sarah slammed the pillow and groaned.
"He said he loved her!" Darren's shout nearly burst her eardrum, and Lance whooped in the background. "Honey, I knew this guy was good for you!"
"I didn't say it back."
"Oh." Silence. Then, not to her, "She didn't say it back."
"Why not?" She heard Lance's fainter voice.
"You heard the man. I know, 'cause that voice carries, honey. Why didn't you
tell Mr. Gorgeous the same thing?"
"I don't know." Sarah sighed and scrubbed her face.
"All you've done for the past two weeks is eat, sleep, and breathe that man. I
know, 'cause I've been up to my ears with all the things that keep slipping your mind. Not that I'm complaining, Sarah, 'cause you know I'd do anything for you. Just remember this when raise time comes around, that's all."
"Have I been that bad?" Sarah wriggled in embarra.s.sment.
"Honey, I haven't seen anyone smile so much since the time my Aunt Nita spent the night with Lefty and Righty, the Samson twins."