Ever After High: A Wonderlandiful World Part 4

"Um, pine sap," said Raven. "So what's more evil, pine sap or squirrel?"

"Squirrel, definitely," said Dexter.

Kitty Ches.h.i.+re was- "Wis.h.i.+ng to remain private, thank you," said Kitty.

Oh! I didn't realize Kitty could hear me, too!

"Me neither!" said Maddie. "That's breakfast-tastic, Kitty!"

Kitty hissed.

Very well. Ahem. Lizzie Hearts kept to the front of the group, keeping pace with Apple, correcting all her decisions, and declaring things like "This way!" and "That way!" and "By the way!"

"Relax, Lizzie," said Briar. "Apple is in charge, and she's leading us just fine."

"One does not order a crown princess of Wonderland to relax!" said Lizzie.

"This isn't Wonderland, so stop trying to rule."

Lizzie stiffened everywhere-her shoulders, her spine, and especially her upper lip-and wished very hard she had an army of card soldiers at her command.

Madeline Hatter had begun playing leapfrog with Hopper Croakington II. Or so she thought. Hopper wasn't actually playing.

He's not? Oh, thank you, Narrator. That's why he keeps glaring with the beady eyes and pouty lip and grumbles of "Why do you keep vaulting over my head?"

Maddie! You were doing so well at not interrupting.

Why, thank you, Narrator, dear, and that is why I'm barely interrupting at all. I learn so much about narration by listening to you, you know, such as how you're using this travel time to give us updates on all the main characters, revealing more about them through descriptions of what they're doing. How cleverful!

Thank you. It's a basic technique I learned in Narration School. But I really shouldn't- I know, I know, no more with the barging and the pestering and the mouth flippy-flapping. Narrate on! Ooh, wait, one quickish question first.

Maddie, you know I can't answer your questions.

Well, it's just that a baby bear was banders.n.a.t.c.hed, and either the big bears were banders.n.a.t.c.hed, too, or there were actual true banders.n.a.t.c.hes back there. And a banders.n.a.t.c.h is a Wonderlandian beast! So what are they doing in Ever After?

Um...

You know, don't you?

Er...

Come on, just a hint. You're so good at accidentally giving me teensy-weensy-bleensy hints.

Not this time! This Narrator refuses to be tricked! This Narrator is a s.h.i.+ning example of rule-following technique! So, let's fast forward.... The group finally reached bottom, made their way to the nearest wis.h.i.+ng well, and wis.h.i.+ng-welled it back to Ever After High. Okay, then, next chapter!

THE GREAT JABBERWOCK, TERROR OF WONDERLAND, was still grumpy. It had been having such a frabjous dream of b.u.t.tered banders.n.a.t.c.hes when that cras.h.i.+ng, smas.h.i.+ng, bitter-bas.h.i.+ng sound of a broken magic mirror had torn it away. Now it was awake and trapped in Ever After, a land entirely without banders.n.a.t.c.hes, b.u.t.tered or otherwise.

The bears had tasted too sweet, not nearly crunchy enough, and more like meat than madness. After the Jabberwock's magic melted away their bear-ness and filled in the holes with banders.n.a.t.c.h-ness, the taste had improved, though they still got stuck in the Jabberwock's gullet.

Too long it had been caged, trapped, and cut off from Wonderland. Its magic needed recharging.

The Jabberwock leaped from treetop to treetop. It could fly, but flight was exhausting in the thin air of this not-home place, and it was still tired. It yawned angrily, breath stinking of decaying magic and the meat of false banders.n.a.t.c.hes.

The beast had gotten lost from Wonderland long ago, but its bowels were still pulsing with wonder, though a rotting, twisted kind of wonder. Its hot breath slurped and crawled out of its mouth, transforming whatever it touched. The Jabberwock exhaled, and the tree bending beneath its weight brightened to a vivid green and sprouted pumpkins instead of pinecones. The tree was not exactly what it would have been in Wonderland, but at least it was closer. Could the beast alter this un-peculiar land entirely? Make it more like home? No, not without more power.

The Jabberwock caught a whiff of tiny Alice-things fleeing the far edge of the forest. It smiled, its gray lips curling around a huge set of buckteeth. The Card, the Cat, and the Hatter were nearby. It could smell them. It could feel the fresh Wonder emanating from their bodies. Wonder it would need if it was to shape this world to its liking.

The Jabberwock heaved up and took flight. Its ma.s.sive, batlike wings shook the air, its deep purple shadow sending the forest creatures s.h.i.+vering into holes. It dived, mouth open, claws out ready to seize, when suddenly the Card, the Cat, and the Hatter disappeared into a wis.h.i.+ng well. Vanished. Too fast, as if the story they were in had suddenly sped up, pages flipping faster than the narration should allow.

The Jabberwock reeled in the air, skronking with rage. It would stalk these Wonderlings. It would follow them wherever they went, and one by one it would squeeze every last drop of Wonder from their bones.

And then, maybe, it would eat them.

WORMS!" LIZZIE YELLED THE MOMENT SHE emerged from the wis.h.i.+ng well on the grounds of Ever After High.

"What?" said Cedar.

"Where?" said Apple with a small shudder.

"Gross!" yelled Blondie.

"Yay!" said Maddie.

"Um," said Raven, "what worms, Lizzie?"

"And by worms, I mean people!" Lizzie shouted, hoping the strength of her mother's words would clarify things. She noticed that the confused stares only got confused-er.

"And by people," Lizzie continued, "I mean Wonder people. Er... I mean Kitty and Maddie. The Wonderlandians."

"Wonder Worms are go!" shouted Maddie, striking an action pose and then wiggling toward Lizzie. "Lady Catworm!" Maddie called to Kitty Ches.h.i.+re, who hadn't moved an inch. "Make haste! We have been summoned!"

Kitty shrugged and disappeared, reappearing beside Lizzie.

"Hatworm and Catworm at your service, O Lizard Queen," Maddie said, giving Lizzie a wiggly bow.

"Don't call me that," Lizzie and Kitty said in unison.

Maddie straightened from the wormy stance. "Fine, party p.o.o.ps. What's the story?"

"I have something to discuss with both of you," Lizzie said, turning her back on them. "Let's go to the Grove."

"To the Grove, Catworm!" Maddie shouted heroically, and was rewarded with a hiss just as Kitty popped out of sight.

Lizzie breathed in as they left the school grounds and crossed into the Grove. Some days the rich, candied scents made her heart feel light and floaty as bubble birds. Sometimes the smells made her feel achy for home, as heavy and slow as a steel scarecrow. Today she felt nervous and jittery as if she had swallowed handfuls of live hornets.

Which she hadn't, just to clarify. One never knew with Lizzie.

"Citizens of Wonderland," Lizzie began.

Kitty looked over her shoulder, as if expecting more people to be there.

"As the representatives of our world in exile, it is our responsibility..." Lizzie was already bored with her own speech. She sighed. "Look, there were banders.n.a.t.c.hes up there. I am certain that when we escaped Wonderland with the White Queen and Maddie's dad, no banders.n.a.t.c.hes sneaked out with us." Were the ways to Wonderland reopening? Or had the banders.n.a.t.c.hes found a secret way out and come looking for the lost Wonderlandian princess? Hope s.h.i.+vered in Lizzie.

Kitty purred, "I know of something else Wonderlandian here without permission."

"She means the Jabberwock," Maddie whispered.

"No, I don't!" Kitty's pale purple hair seemed fluffier, standing on end at the mention of the monster. She hissed, "Don't say its name out loud! I just meant the jubjub bird I was chasing on the mountaintop during that riddle-diculous play."

"A jubjub bird, too? Maybe we should talk to the White Queen," Maddie said.

"Very well," Lizzie said. "I'm glad I was able to get you to that conclusion. We will find the White Queen and demand of her an explanation."

"Or we could just ask," Maddie said.

"Or we could just ask!" Lizzie shouted as if it were a battle cry, pointing her scepter at the school.

They headed to the White Queen's office. Empty. They investigated the faculty lunchroom. Void. They peeked into likely cla.s.srooms. Nil. Then they began to get creative.

Sometime later, Maddie flung open the last stall door in the teachers' restroom. "Aha!" she shouted, but no one was there.

"She's hiding from us," Lizzie said. "The White Queen must know something and knows that we know she knows and wants to keep the knowing from us."

"But how can she if we already know she knows?" Maddie asked.

"The extra knowing," Lizzie said, nodding wisely. "The knowing about why there are banders.n.a.t.c.hes and jubjub birds. Not the knowing that she knows."

"Oh," said Maddie. "So she's hiding from us. Good hiding."

"Too good!" Lizzie shouted. "I won't allow it! People can't just disappear!"

At that, Kitty disappeared.

"Present company excepted, of course," Lizzie muttered.

Kitty reappeared sitting on the bathroom counter. "Searching for the White Queen has been fun and all, especially the bit where Lizzie got stuck in the crawl s.p.a.ce, but you'll never find her. You've probably noticed there are lots of people not at the school today."

"I a.s.sumed they were hiding like the White Queen," Maddie said, "to make this game of hide-and-seek more fun."

"She wasn't playing hide-and-seek," said Kitty.

Maddie threw up her hands. "Am I expected to keep track of every game and who is and isn't playing all the time?"

"The faculty and most of the students are still on their field trips," Kitty said, pulling out her MirrorPhone to check her teeth. "Only our group came back early."

"I know that, of course. I just wanted to make sure you knew it, too." Lizzie's eyes narrowed. "But you didn't see fit to tell us this before because...?"

"Because watching you two run about like madwomen is fun."

"She does have a point," Maddie said.

Lizzie dialed the White Queen on her MirrorPhone. No answer. Her voice mail picked up.

"I am busy right now," said the White Queen's recorded voice. "Please call back ten minutes ago."

The door to the restroom pushed open.

"Here you are!" said Briar. "Everyone's meeting in Apple and Raven's dorm room. Some of the students are hextremely upset about what happened on the mountain, and Apple thought some soothing talk could help."

"Okay!" Maddie said, un-straightening her hat and hopping out the door.

"Soothing talk?" Kitty asked. "Royals and Rebels together, sharing nonjudgmental and openhearted opinions?"

"Totally," Briar said.

"I'm there," Kitty said, fading until all but her mouth remained. "There's bound to be a tasty fight," the smiling mouth said, and then it, too, disappeared.

"I don't see how sitting around babbling could be soothing, let alone productive," Lizzie said.

"Come on, Lizzie," said Briar. "I'll be there, so it's sure to be a blast!"

Briar was always throwing parties where Lizzie would stand awkwardly in the corner, shouting things like "Fetch me a flamingo!" or "Stand back, peasant!" in reply to any small talk. Mother would declare all those b.u.mbling partygoers beneath the Princess of Hearts and not worth her time, and yet Lizzie spent those parties secretly, silently, carefully wis.h.i.+ng that she were one of the girls on the dance floor, laughing with Briar. Lizzie opened her mouth to tell Briar that but found herself shouting, "Off with your head!"

"Okay, then. See you fairy soon," Briar said, throwing down a skateboard and skating down the corridor.

Lizzie drew a card from her mother's deck. Her mother's words would give her strength, courage, and direction.

Already Been Chewed food (hereafter referred to as ABC food) can appear appetizing, but not for such as you. Eat no ABC food today.

Hmph. That didn't seem particularly applicable. Lizzie flipped through a few more.

Frogs are mostly faces.

Notice a frog today and make a face.

ON WITH ITS HEAD!.

JK. Behead something today!

Rugs are the unnatural sp.a.w.n of Rabbits and Hugs. Beware rugs. (Could also be Rubber and Bugs. In any case, BEWARE RUGS!) Sometimes it took Lizzie a while to figure out how her mother's wisdom applied to her current situation. This was one of those times. She slid the cards back into their well-worn box, checked to see that no one was watching, and hugged it to her chest.

"I'm trying, Mother," she whispered. "I'm trying to be like you."

She crossed her eyes twice and made a wish that banders.n.a.t.c.hes were just the beginning. That Wonderland was coming to her. All of it. And soon her mother would be there to pull Lizzie into her huge embrace and a.s.sure her she was doing all right.

WHEN CEDAR ARRIVED AT RAVEN AND Apple's room, most of the other students from her field trip were already seated on lounges and chairs or on pillows on the floor, everyone arranged in a circle. Several dozen scented candles burned, filling the room with the smell of baked apple pie.

Lizzie Hearts entered beside her.