On Every Side Part 23

She stood up just as Jordan climbed out of the car and shut the door. He wore casual dress slacks, a white b.u.t.ton-down s.h.i.+rt, and a navy cardigan sweater. Even from fifty yards he was easily the most handsome man Faith had ever seen.

Jordan spotted Faith as soon as he pulled into the parking lot and felt a frown crease his brow as he slid from the vehicle.

Who was she talking to? Just his luck someone would see her there and cut into their time together. Faith knew just about everyone in town...and he was painfully aware that neither of them wanted people talking about their friends.h.i.+p.

He slowed his pace and waited for her.

As she came closer, he savored the sight of her and wished for the hundredth time she wasn't so dogmatic about her beliefs. Could the young woman before him really be his enemy? He dis-missed the thought, forcing himself to keep a businesslike atti-tude. "Okay this better be good." He slipped his hands in his pocket and smiled at her.

Her eyes lit up in response and she stopped a foot from him, crossing her arms and lowering her chin playfully. "It will be."

The woman Faith had been sitting with was watching them. "Should we find a better place?" He was serious now It was important neither of them were seen together. "We can drive somewhere outside of town..."

Faith shook her head. "No. She's okay"

Jordan glanced at the woman again, then searched Faith's eyes. "Who is she?"

There was hesitation in Faith's face, as though she wasn't sure where to begin. Finally she drew a slow breath and locked onto his gaze. "Remember yesterday in your car when I prayed we'd find Heidi?"

He blinked. Why was Faith bringing that up now? "Okay so..."

"Last night I got a call, Jordan. From a woman named Heidi Benson." She paused, and he felt as though his heart had taken leave of his body He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. All he could do was wait for her to continue. "At first I thought she was just another townsperson. You know, someone wanting to help keep the statue up."

"But..." Jordan forced the word through suddenly numb lips. His head was spinning. Nothing about the conversation fit neatly into any of his mind's file drawers.

"But...she wasn't. She saw you on television yesterday, Jordan. She lives right here in Bethany Moved here a few weeks ago." Faith's eyes filled with tears, and they spilled onto her cheeks as she reached out and laid her fingers on his arm. "She came to my house last night. Jordan, it's her. Heidi."

He could feel the blood leaving his body-first his face, then his chest and arms. His legs trembled as he looked again at the woman sitting at the picnic table. "But... who is she?"

Faith's voice was little more than a whisper and her lip quiv-ered as she spoke. "She's your sister, Jordan. And she wants to see you."

His gaze dropped to the ground and he clenched his teeth. When he looked up, he found. Faith's eyes once more. "You're serious. You found her?" He gazed at the woman in the distance again. "That's... Heidi?"

"Yes, Heidi and her baby." Faith came to him then and hugged him, and he couldn't decide whether to run the distance between him and Heidi or fall to the ground and weep. It had been so long... and after finding her file he was sure he'd never see her again. Now...

"She...has a baby?" He folded his arms across his chest, squeezing his hands together in tight fists. "Faith, I can't believe it... 1..." He looked at her, stunned, still not believing it was true, as tears welled in his eyes. "How can I ever thank you?"

"That's just it, Jordan." Faith leveled her gaze at him, her eyes unblinking. "G.o.d brought her back to you." She paused. "I had nothing to do with it. Remember that when you hit the pillow tonight."

Jordan nodded absently, and Faith moved her face inches closer to his. "I'm serious. You can't stay angry at G.o.d forever."

Her last remark left something unsettled deep in his gut, but he s.h.i.+fted his attention to Heidi. She was looking at the baby in her arms, and suddenly he needed to see her, hold her, be with her as desperately as he needed air. "Sure, Faith, okay." He hugged her again, truly grateful for her role in this. Finding Heidi had been nothing short of providence and good luck, mixed with Faith's kindness and determination. But it would only upset Faith to say so now. "Come with me?"

She shook her head. "I'm watching Rosa. I'll hang out with her while the two of you talk."

Jordan stared at his sister again, and this time Heidi caught his look. She waved, though she was too far away for him to make out her face. "Hi..." He silently mouthed the word as he waved back.

"It's really her!" Jordan brushed away a tear and smiled. He began walking briskly toward Heidi, Faith still at his side. Dozens of images filled his mind... his sister walking home from school beside him...the two of them doing homework at the kitchen table...Heidi holding his hand as they crept into their mother's room in the days when her sickness first got bad... Heidi throwing herself over their mother the day she died and Jordan pulling her gently back, a.s.suring her that no matter what, they'd have each other.

Heidi being torn from him that day in their front yard and begging to stay The look in her eyes as the car drove out of sight.

I promised I'd take care of her, Mom... but I never could because I couldn't find her. But now...I'll watch over her forever. Though his sister couldn't hear him yet, he talked to her anyway. "I'm coming Heidi. And I'm never, ever going to lose you again."

Heidi wanted to take Jordan Lee and race across the park to where her brother stood with Faith, but she couldn't do it, couldn't take her eyes off of him for fear he would disappear and everything about the past twenty-four hours would turn out to be nothing more than a haunting dream. She studied him, sur-prised at how tall he was, how he'd filled out. From the place where he stood, she couldn't tell if he looked the same, only that he'd become a man.

G.o.d, I'm not sure I'm ready for this... Please, heal him of his anger and bitterness...let my light, Faith's light, be enough to make him want to come home.

Do not be troubled, daughter...! know the plans I have for Jordan.

Heidi exhaled softly. "Okay, Lord. I'm ready."

Jordan slowed his pace as he neared her, and Faith veered off to the play area where Rosa was waiting for her. Heidi watched silently as her brother nearly stopped twenty feet from her. He looked like he was seeing a vision. Heidi understood exactly how he felt.

"Heidi..."

She nodded, and her words came out like trapped cries escaping the recesses of her very soul. "It's me, Jordan..." She set the baby down in her stroller and stood to face him.

There was no stopping him after that. He ran the remaining steps that separated them and swept her into his arms, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around in a full circle before set-ting her down. They hugged again, and he pressed his face against hers. "Heidi, I can't believe it's you."

She was sobbing and smiling all at the same time, and she took hold of his face, studying it through her tears." You look the same." Her hand flew to her mouth, and she nearly fell from the power of her weeping. "I... th-th-thought you were dead."

Once more he pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms, and smoothing his hand over her back, her hair, just as he'd always done when they were kids. In the place where her memo-ries lived, her brother had never died. Birthdays, special occasions, times when she remembered her mother... always Jordan was there. But now... to have him hold her like he'd done when she was ten years old...

It was more than she could take. "Don't let go, Jordan... please."

"Shh... it's okay, Heidi. I won't." His voice was a hoa.r.s.e whis-per, choked by the immensity of the moment. "I thought I'd never find you."

Heidi had no idea how long they stood there, holding each other. It could have been hours or minutes. All she knew was she was transported back to the winter of 1985. No longer were they adults who'd spent half their lives apart, but a sister and brother certain that though the whole world might let them down, at least they had each other.

Eventually Heidi's sobbing eased, but she stayed in Jordan's arms all the same. How many times had she ached for his protection, cried for his loving a.s.surance in the months and years after hearing about his accident?

And now... here he was. Alive.

She closed her eyes. "Thank You, Lord...oh, thank You...You're so good." She realized she'd whispered the prayer out loud, and pulled back some and grinned at him. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry." She laughed and caught two quick breaths. Her eyes were nearly swollen shut, but she smiled all the same. "I wanted you to think I was pretty."

Jordan searched her face and his fingers came up to frame her cheekbones. "You're beautiful, Heidi. And you're..." She saw that his eyes were red, his cheeks wet. "You're all grown up." He took in all of her and smiled even as more tears came. "The sister I lost was a little girl... but you... you look just like Mom did."

"That's what Faith said." Cooing sounds came from the place where Jordan Lee lay, and Heidi motioned with her head in that direction. "I have someone I'd like you to meet."

Her brother's eyes danced, and he linked arms with her, leading the way to the stroller.

She looked from her baby to her brother.

"Jordan, meet Jordan Lee." Heidi grinned at him as she saw the surprise in his eyes.

"You... you named her after..."

A sound that was part laugh, part cry came from Heidi. "Yes we wanted her to always know about her Uncle Jordan."

He looked at his niece for the first time his mouth opened and he stared at her, speechless. "Oh..." The last part of the word lingered in the cool November air. Several seconds pa.s.sed and finally Jordan looked at Heidi, his face full of questions. "Can I... would you care if I held her?"

Heidi giggled, wiping an errant tear as she gently lifted the infant and set her in Jordan's arms. Again the resemblance was wonderfully clear. Heidi stood behind him and studied her daugh-ter over Jordan's shoulder while he clutched the baby in a stiff embrace, holding his niece as though she might break in two.

"She looks just like you." Heidi put her arm around Jordan's back and pressed her cheek against his.

He turned and gave her a crooked grin." Yeah, she does, doesn't she?" His eyes lit up. "Hey you haven't told me about your husband." He gestured with his elbow at her wedding ring. "I saw it from the parking lot."

Heidi laughed again. "His name is Charles. He's wonderful and charming and he loves me more than life itself. He's a pedia-trician at the local family clinic and he can't wait to meet you."

"You've told him about me?"

Heidi angled her head and locked eyes with him. "I never stopped talking about you, Jordan. He feels like he knows you."

They heard voices drawing near and they turned at the same time to see Faith and Rosa walking toward them. Heidi watched Jordan's reaction, noticed the way his eyes locked onto Faith's, and she had the sense that whatever it was the two of them shared, it was deep. Lasting. Heidi smiled as she remembered how Faith and Jordan had been as kids.

Whatever had gone on between the two of them since Jordan had been back, it hadn't been all bad.

"I've gotta take Rosa home." Faith was breathless from playing with the girl, her cheeks red and striking, her smile all for Jordan. No doubt about it, Heidi thought. There was a definite attraction between Faith and her brother...

Faith led Rosa up to Jordan. "Rosa, I'd like you to meet someone else." Faith's eyes lifted and connected once more with Jordan's. Without looking down, her face lit up and she continued. "His name is Mr. Riley" Her eyes filled with warmth. "He's my friend."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Riley" Rosa held out her hand.

For several seconds Jordan seemed unable to break eye con-tact with Faith, then he looked down and smiled. "Nice to meet you, too. You're sure a pretty girl, Rosa." Jordan did a little bow "I understand you're a foster child."

Rosa's dark, silky lashes moved up and down as she blinked twice and looked from Jordan to Faith and back to Jordan again. "How'd you know?"

"I told him, honey." Faith stood behind Rosa, her hands on the girl's shoulders.

Jordan nodded. "She wanted me to know because I used to be a foster child, too... a long time ago." He shot a glance at Faith and slipped his arm around Heidi. "Mrs. Benson is my sister."

Heidi leaned around Jordan and winked at Rosa. "We were both foster children."

Rosa's eyes grew wide. "Really? Wow..." Her expression seemed instantly infused with hope. "And you both found fami-lies, right?"

Heidi felt Jordan's pain at the child's comment as strongly as if they shared one heart. She resisted the urge to wince as Jordan struggled for the right words. "Everything worked out, if that's what you mean, sweetie."

Faith pulled Rosa gently back from the others. "Well, we've got to get going."

Rosa bid Heidi and Jordan good-bye, a grin still plastered across her face. She reached out for Jordan again but this time with a hand that was misshapen and missing fingers. As though realizing her error, the girl froze. Heidi forced her face to remain unmoved by the sight and watched while Jordan hid his reaction as well. At first Rosa seemed unsure what to do, her hand sus-pended in the s.p.a.ce between her and Jordan, her eyes filled with questions.

Then carefully, tenderly, Jordan took her hand in his. He held it, closing his strong fingers over her entire hand while he stooped closer to her. "Hope to see you again sometime, okay?"

Relief flooded Rosa's face and she nodded, her head angled sweetly. "Me too"."

Without-hesitating, Jordan leaned over and kissed her hand the way a king might kiss the hand of a princess. Heidi shot a glance at Faith and saw tears in her eyes. Something special was happening between the two of them.

No, she thought, studying the scene once more. It was some-thing special between the three of them.

When Faith and Rosa were halfway back to the car, Heidi took a chance. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Jordan slid himself onto the top of the table and anch.o.r.ed his feet squarely on the bench beneath him. "Rosa? She's a little young forme..."

Heidi peeked at Jordan Lee and saw she was sleeping. Then she took her place on the table next to Jordan and linked her arm through his. "You know who. Faith Moses...Faith Evans, what-ever. You're in love with her."

Jordan shrugged and c.o.c.ked his head so he could see Heidi better. "It wouldn't matter if I was." His eyes grew sad, and Heidi sensed he didn't want to broach the next subject. Finally he sighed and stared back out in front of him. "If you saw me on the news you must know why I'm here."

Heidi held her breath. Lord, gwe me the words... "Yes. I know."

He studied her again and exhaled slowly. "Something tells me you're just like Faith and Mom and the other believers. You love G.o.d more than reason, right?"

"What makes you say that?" She tried to see into the depths of his soul.

Jordan sighed and gazed at a pa.s.sing cloud. "I don't know Something in your eyes. A glow or a warmth I can't really explain. I saw the same thing in the eyes of this teacher I came up against in court...and in Faiths eyes. It's what I remember seeing in Mom's eyes." He looked back at her and Heidi ached for him. "Am I right?"

She slid an arm around him, leaning her head on his shoulder like she'd done when she was little. "You are. I love G.o.d, I've never stopped. And deep inside, you haven't either." She paused. "Sometimes our walk with the Lord gets a little confusing, that's all."

Jordan uttered what sounded like a frustrated sigh, and Heidi felt his shoulder tense beneath her. "We have a lot to catch up on, Heidi. The whole religion thing isn't...I don't want to talk about it."

His reaction shook Heidi. Lord, he's as bad off as Faith said. Maybe worse. "Okay, fair enough. Let's catch up, then." She asked him about the accident at camp, his school days in New Jersey, and what it was like to play collegiate baseball. She even asked about his position at the HOUR organization. It broke her heart to imagine him sold out to a firm that was so obviously against the very beliefs the country was founded on, but she was careful not to share her feelings with Jordan. That was G.o.d's territory, not hers.

All she wanted to do was let him know he was loved- regardless of his opinions.

They were an hour into the conversation when she pulled an envelope from her pocket and held it out to Jordan. She noticed how time had yellowed it and made the creases sharp and pro-nounced, but the letter was still safely inside. Just as it had been that long-ago day. Scribbled across the front in their mother's handwriting was a single word: Jordan.

Heidi felt the tears again. "Here...it's for you." In all her life she hadn't imagined she'd get the chance to do this. But now that they were together, she wasn't about to wait another minute.

He looked at it. "What is it?"

"A letter. From Mom."

Jordan took it from her slowly, as though it were made of gold dust. For a long time he stared at the envelope, running his fin-ger over his name. Then his eyes rose to meet Heidi's. As he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "How'd you get it?"

The answer was bound to make Jordan sad. After all, he'd never had a chance to come back to the house for any reason." My social worker said I could go through my things and save what I wanted." Heidi paused, remembering the moment. "I checked my bedroom, and he went into Mom's room. He looked through the drawers and stuff. The letters were in her nightstand. Right on top. I always thought about opening yours, but I..."

He looked at her, his eyes wet again, too. "You what?"

She blinked and stared at her hands. "I guess a part of me always hoped I might find you again. Even after they told me you were dead."

Jordan drew her close and hugged her for a long time. When he pulled back he stared at the envelope and then at her. "You got one too?"

She sniffed once and nodded. "I've read it so often the folds are starting to wear out."

Jordan's eyes were flooded by what looked like an ocean of grief as he tucked the letter into his back pocket. "Thanks, Heidi." His voice was tender, his eyes even more so.

They heard someone approaching from behind. Heidi turned and saw Charles, his eyes full of questions. She nodded toward him, a.s.suring him it was all right to come closer. He had told her that morning he might stop by sometime around two if they were still at the park.

Now here he was, and Heidi felt happy enough to float. She climbed down to meet him, hugging him and leading him by the hand to meet Jordan. Then she looked into her brother's eyes and spoke the words she'd only dreamed of speaking. "Jordan, this is my husband, Charles. Charles, my brother, Jordan."