Wait For The Sunrise Part 17

Kyle asked the question Cynthie had been asking herself.

"What can he do here?"

Cynthie sipped the coffee thoughtfully. He had to make his own life

somewhere. She was sure he had family he hadn't told her about. Maybe nowhe was ready to tell someone about the accident and would let her write to them. It wasn't reasonable to hope that he would find a life here.

When she gave no answer, Kyle continued, "You could pay the man's train fareto get him home, wherever that is.

I'd even be willing to get him as far as the station in Abilene. " He saw the resistance on her face and added, " If he doesn't want it from you, wecould get the church to raise it.

Would he object to that, do you think? The reverend would love a cause. "

Cynthie smiled. He was right about the last, at least.

"I don't know. I don't want to rush him into a decision."

Kyle felt a surge of anger and knew he had to move carefully.

"Waiting too long to make a decision might be a mistake, too. You've done your part, honey. You took care of him. Now he's well. He needs to move on."

Cynthie tried to control her indignation at his words because she saw thetruth in them. She didn't want Winn to go but she had to let him.

She studied Kyle for a moment through the steam from her coffee. He was quite handsome and had always been kind to her. Why did she have to keepreminding herself of these things?

Maybe she wasn't really in love with Winn. Maybe it was just an attractionto a handsome stranger. Maybe she felt sorry for him and wanted to motherhim, or maybe she wanted to replace her father. Could it be just a fantasyor a game, a way of reliving the old girlish longings that her more matureheart now knew to be no thing more than dreams? And maybe she was head overheels in love and was angry at Kyle for coming and ruining her whole day.She didn't know.

She sighed and set the coffee cup in its saucer. Kyle reached across thetable and took her hand.

"I've missed you lately. You take too much on yourself, you know. This man is responsible for his own future." He trapped her hand between both of hisand rubbed her wrist with his thumb as he added, "And you're responsible formine." He looked up to watch her face.

"You know it's true," he added softly.

Cynthie wanted to pull her hand away and laughed to cover her panic.

"Now you're putting too much on me." She got up to get him a saucer for hiscigar. It was an excuse to slip her hand free.

Kyle smiled and removed a cigar from his pocket. The faraway look on herface had concerned him but now he relaxed, feeling like he had just beeninvited to stay.

Winn and Greg walked toward the sorrel mare. Winn spoke softly and shetossed her head.

Greg didn't seem to be afraid of the horse; it must have been Dempsey thatworried him. Winn didn't like the man himself and had been glad to hear thespurs jingle away from him. Then he realized that Dempsey had gone into thehouse with Cynthie, and he had wanted, for a moment, to go after them.

He was confused about many things and he didn't feel competent to make anyclear judgments. He decided to take one thing at a time.

Lullaby flickered to get Winn's attention. He approached her carefully andshe stretched her neck for ward to nuzzle his shoulder. He realized with a

little surprise that he was glad to have her with him again.

"Lullaby, what have you been up to?" He rubbed the soft head and when his hand found the bridle, he curled his fingers around it.

"Yours?" Peter had come from the barn to join them. His voice came from about Greg's height and Winn guessed he was checking the mare's hooves.

"Yeah," Winn answered.

"I should blame her in part for my accident but I guess I don't.""Let's get her inside." Peter waited for Winn to let the bridle go beforeleading the horse toward the barn . Greg took Winn's hand now that it wasfree again.

"Can I ride her?""No!" Winn bent down to the boy and tried to soften the sharp reply."She likes to buck. I can't let you ride her."They followed Peter to the barn. Greg left Winn by Lullaby's new stall and ran to visit Sorry. Winn listened to the sounds of the horse breathing asPeter removed the saddle. In a few minutes Peter was beside him placingsomething in his hand.

"Want to brush her down?"Winn grinned and let Peter lead him forward. The boy knew more than horses,he decided. Brus.h.i.+ng a horse he couldn't see seemed less strange than he would have thought. Often, at the end of a day's work, he had tended hishorse in near darkness.Greg joined them in a few minutes."Does she bite?" he asked.Winn was glad the boy had enough sense to stay back a little."I've never known her to," he said. Peter brought some oats and the mare moved toward

them. Winn was momentarily startled. He hadn't seen it coming.

"Why does she like to buck?" persisted the boy."I don't know. I guess I kind of liked the challenge and never tried toohard to break her of it."

Greg climbed halfway up the ladder to the loft and tried to turn around and sit down on a rung.

"Whee!" he yelled as Peter swung him to the floor."I could break her," Peter said confidently. Winn wasn't so sure, but heleft his doubts unspoken.

"Let's go back to the house," he suggested instead, and then returned the brush to Peter.

"No," responded Greg cheerfully and scampered up the ladder again.

Peter spoke softly near Winn.

"Dempsey's still there."

So Peter had noticed the same fear in the child. Winn wanted to ask what he knew about Dempsey but Peter had already moved away.

"I'll go back to the well and finish that pumping." Maybe the sound of thepump would remind Dempsey that Cynthie had things to do. He didn't likeDempsey, and he especially didn't like him spending so much time withCynthie. He hadn't gone three steps before Greg joined him and they walkedto the well together.

Chapter Eight.

Q^zns^Q Diack clouds boiled up on the horizon, filling the skyand blocking out the sun. Sharp flashes of lightning stabbed the darkness,sending waves of thunder rolling across the plains and shaking the earth.

Winn was alone. When the lightning flash lit the sky he tried to look aroundhim but there was no thing to see. From horizon to horizon there was no thing but darkness.

He called out but the wind blew the sound away to be swallowed by thedarkness. The thunder answered like an angry drum demanding silence.

He waited and the lightning came no more. Only the dark clouds were left,roiling closer, devouring the sky, the plains and finally him.

Winn sat up abruptly, breathing hard. The air around him felt thick and heavy like the clouds in his dream. He ran a shaky hand over his face. It was damp with sweat. He could feel the stirring of a breeze from the windowand knew that it would be cooler outside.

As he pa.s.sed through the front room on the way out, he could smell a traceof Dempsey's cigar smoke, which hung in the air as a reminder of the arrogant man.

In a moment he was outside, standing at the top of the steps with his bareshoulder against the porch post, breathing in the cool night air.

He remembered how his mother had insisted the windows be closed at night,believing the night air to be unhealthy. He wondered what she would think of all the nights he had slept in the open. The thought brought a smile to hislips. She hated being wrong.

Winn tried to concentrate on pleasant memories but it was like holding backthe clouds. Anger seemed to surround him, offering evidence that everythinghe thought he knew was wrong.

Mike and Slim would not be back to get him. They may have gotten him helpwhen he had been hurt, but they had abandoned him in the end. They didn'twant to be burdened with a blind man. He shouldn't blame them for that, buthe did. They had returned his horse and belongings and had ridden awayforever. They hadn't even come to see him, to tell him themselves that theywere going on without him. Slim especially owed him that.

Anger s.h.i.+fted focus. It wasn't just his former friends that angered him.

He would not see again. The pain was gone. The swelling was gone. He had to accept it. Hope was gone.

He felt his heart pounding and his breath quickened again. He couldn't let the anger swallow him whole. He needed a plan, a direction, something tokeep the anger behind him.

He wondered if he should talk to Louie. He didn't really know the man buthe seemed to be very practical and Winn was sure he could count on him to behonest. Louie would be gone for a couple more days, but he could wait thatlong, he hoped.

He did not want to talk to Cynthie but he would have to. He was her guestand, though it was time for him to go, he didn't know where or how. Her father had been blind; she might have the best advice.

She was also a woman and probably more emotional, although she hadn't donemuch to prove that so far. Maybe it wasn't her feelings he was afraid wouldget in the way. Maybe it was his own.

He was willing to admit he was attracted to her. He had been forced to realize that during the last few days. But was he a man reaching out to awoman or a helpless soul reaching out for comfort? He didn't know, andbefore he could find out, she always pulled away. Or he did.

In some ways she seemed like a complete stranger. She was always surprisinghim with a sudden change in tone or touch. d.a.m.n, he wished he could see her!If he could see her face, she'd be easier to understand.

How often had he been completely mistaken about her because he couldn't readher face?

And Greg! Whatever his decision might be, he'd never forget the boy.

It was going to be hard to leave him, too. Thinking of Greg made him smile.

He wondered if the child would eventually drive him crazy or be the one thingto keep him sane.

At least he had something he could give Greg before he left. If all his gearfrom the wagon was still intact, the figures he had carved during the drive would still be in his saddle bags. He would pick out one for Greg and sendthe rest to Cora's children.

He would find a way to send them to her without let ting her know he was introuble. She and her family needed a blind man even less than Mike and Slimdid. Maybe he would only send two of the figures now and save the rest forsome future date. That would keep Cora from worrying about him for a littlelonger.

Winn heard small noises behind him that indicated someone was up. He sigheddeeply. Was it morning already or was Cynthie on her way out for anotherpredawn ride? He didn't want to talk to Cynthie now. He didn't want to be asked to make a decision or, worse yet, helped to make a decision.

He stood quietly, hoping no one was there. He heard bare feet slappingsoftly across the front room but they were not heading for the front door.

At the same moment he realized the steps belonged to Greg, he heard thechild's cry.

He turned quickly and fumbled for the doork.n.o.b. "Greg!" he whisperedloudly, as if the child's cry hadn't awakened Cynthie already.

The moment he was through the door, Greg threw himself against Winn's legs.

"I thought you left," the boy sobbed.

"You said you would go and you were gone."

Winn pried the bare arms from around his legs and went down to the child'slevel, let ting him wrap his arms around his neck this time.

"I won't leave without saying goodbye."

"Daddy did." The boy sniffed.

"But your daddy didn't mean to leave." Winn wasn't at all sure he knew how to handle the sobbing child. He was relieved to hear running footsteps, and in a moment Cynthie was beside them.

"What happened, baby?" She put one hand on each of them, wanting to comfortand love them both. Greg clung to Winn all the harder.

"He came down to find me, I guess," Winn tried to explain.

"I was outside and he thought I'd left." Her hand was resting on his shoulder, an intimate touch with no s.h.i.+rt to protect him.

Cynthie rubbed Greg's narrow back."But you found him now. It's all right.""No! He'll leave! He said he'd leave and now he has a horse and he'll ride away!"

Winn held back a bitter laugh.

"I don't think I'll do that any time soon.

I don't know what I'll do, but I'll tell you when I do, Greg. I won't just

leave. "