Character and Conduct Part 31

"Refrain your tongue from back-biting; for there is no word so secret that shall go for nought, and the mouth that belieth, slayeth the soul."

WISDOM i. 2.

Gossip

JULY 10

"When people run about to disseminate some sc.r.a.p of news which they alone possess, the result is not usually beneficial either to character or to mind."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"Slander meets with no regard from n.o.ble minds, Only the base believe what the base only utter."

"No word, once spoken, returneth Even if uttered unwillingly-- Shall G.o.d excuse our rashness?

That which is done, that abides."

CHARLES KINGSLEY.

Egotism

July 11

"Above all things, let us avoid speaking too often about ourselves, and referring to our own experiences. Nothing is more disagreeable than a man who is constantly quoting himself."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"The pest of society is egotists."

EMERSON.

"Avoid the personal view, the small view, the critical and fault-finding view. Run away from gossip as from a pestilence, and keep in your soul great ideals and ideals to solace your solitude. They will drive out petty worries, conceits and thoughts of carking care."

ADA C. SWEET.

Conversation

JULY 12

"The etiquette of conversation consists as much in listening politely as in talking agreeably."

H. A.

"The reason why so few persons are agreeable in conversation is that every one thinks more about what he shall say than about what others are saying, and because one cannot well be a good listener when one is eager to speak."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"I am an enemy to long explanations; they deceive either the maker or the hearer, generally both."

GOETHE.

Conversation

JULY 13

"The tone of good conversation is flowing and natural; it is neither heavy nor frivolous; it is learned without pedantry, lively without noise, polished without equivocation. It is neither made up of lectures nor epigrams. Those who really converse, reason without arguing, joke without punning, skilfully unite wit and reason, maxims and sallies, ingenious raillery and severe morality. They speak of everything in order that every one may have something to say: they do not investigate too closely, for fear of wearying: questions are introduced as if by-the-bye, and are treated with rapidity; precision leads to elegance, each one giving his opinion, and supporting it with few words. No one attacks wantonly another's opinion, no one supports his own obstinately.

They discuss in order to enlighten themselves, and leave off discussing where dispute would begin: every one gains information, every one recreates himself, and all go away contented; nay, the sage himself may carry away from what he has heard matter worthy of silent meditation."

Argument

JULY 14

"Argument is always a little dangerous. It often leads to coolness and misunderstandings. You may gain your argument and lose your friend, which is probably a bad bargain. If you must argue, admit all you can, but try to show that some point has been overlooked. Very few people know when they have had the worst of an argument, and if they do, they do not like it. Moreover, if they know they are beaten, it does not follow that they are convinced. Indeed it is perhaps hardly going too far to say that it is very little use trying to convince any one by argument. State your case as clearly and concisely as possible, and if you shake his confidence in his own opinion it is as much as you can expect. It is the first step gained."

Lord AVEBURY.

"Speak fitly, or be silent wisely."

GEORGE HERBERT.

"After speech silence is the greatest power in the world."

LACORDAIRE.

"It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth ill-humouredly, and so spoiling an excellent dish by covering it with bad sauce."

ST. FRANCIS DE SALES.

Argument

JULY 15

"When opposition of any kind is necessary, drop all colour of emotion out of it and let it be seen in the white light of truth."

"Nothing does reason more right than the coolness of those that offer it: For truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than from the arguments of its opposers."

WILLIAM PENN.