Southern Witch - Would-Be Witch Part 13

I went to the front door and pulled it open. Smitty-Calvin T. Smith to his momma-stood on my doorstep in his deputy's uniform. He was good Texas stock, built solid with a nice, slightly crooked smile and a clean shave. I'd been a bridesmaid at his wedding.

"Good morning, Smitty."

"Morning, Tammy Jo. How're you?"

"Oh, fine. Zach's not here. He's at his place."

"Actually, I came by to talk to you."

Uh-oh. "Oh, really? Well, come on in and have a cup of coffee."

"How come you're all dressed up? Job interview? We heard you quit Miss Cookie's." He walked in behind me and closed the door.

"Oh, you heard about that? Well, we had some creative differences over there." 'Cause I'm creative, and she's not.

"Hmm. That never seemed to bother you much before."

"Oh, it's been on my mind on and off. I guess it just built up."

I took out a can of Maxwell House and pulled off the plastic lid.

"You don't need to make me coffee. I had some at work. Councilwoman Faber just put some fancy coffee machine in the town hall, and most of us been walking next door. You should come down and try some. It makes this white foam-"

"Smitty, what's goin' on?"

He stopped and looked as embarra.s.sed as he had the time freshman year in high school when he'd had to give the oral report on human reproduction.

"Well, it's real awkward, Tammy Jo, you bein' a close family friend and all." He paused.

Don't you even . . .

"Turns out I'm here to arrest you."

Off the grill and into the gullet. The whole room spun around me. Turns out I was going to need more than a heap of topsoil to fix my day.

I sat down hard on the couch with Mercutio hissing at Smitty as he joined us in the living room.

"It's okay, Merc. Just a little misunderstanding. Smitty would never arrest me. After all, I broke down and wore a pea-soup-colored bridesmaid dress and a four-inch fake magnolia on my head for his wedding just to keep Heather happy."

Smitty cleared his throat and looked out in the yard. "Now, you know this wasn't my idea. But I am a deputy, and I've got to follow the law."

"So what are you charging me with? And does Zach know you're over here arresting me?"

"We all thought it best not to bother Zach with this until after lunch. He had a long day yesterday."

"He had a long day?" I sputtered. "What's the charge, Smitty?"

"Actually, there's a couple. They were working on the paperwork when I left to come get you."

"Working on the paperwork? This isn't some parking ticket! You'd better-"

"Now, get ahold of yourself. Yelling at the arresting officer isn't going to make the judge inclined toward leniency."

I'd had just about all I could take. I'd gone ahead and planned my day, and getting arrested was no part of it. I didn't have time for jail.

I lowered my voice to NutraSweet. "The charges?"

"Well, reckless endangerment. Lucy Reitgarten says you splashed them with some hazardous waste, and then they all got sick. Then you left the scene of the crime after the sheriff told you not to, putting the rest of the community at risk.

"The other charge is for indecent exposure. Hope Cuskin says you were prancing around naked last night in full view of her son's window. He's a minor, you know."

"What?" I gasped. "I was in my own yard last night. The only way Craig Cuskin saw me was with binoculars. And I'll just bet it wasn't Craig that Hope was worried about. You know, Judge Bob was always spying on Momma and Aunt Mel with his binoculars until Hope caught him at it. She told them she didn't want them sunbathing in the yard or even wearing shorts to water the lawn or wash the car. Now that is ridiculous. Just 'cause the Cuskins are rich and he's a judge doesn't mean they have say-so over what we wear or don't wear. It's our own private property."

"So you admit that you were outdoors naked last night?"

I pursed my lips and got up. "I'm going to give my cat his medicine. Then you can take me to the station. My first phone call will be to Zach, and we'll see what he has to say about the Cuskins spying on me. Judge or not, Zach's likely to knock Bob into next week."

"Now, the naked in the yard business is the least of it though. You got to understand that."

I ignored him. I'd forgotten that Lucy, Jenna's sister-in-law, worked at Glenfiddle. And how come the Glenfiddle workers remembered me splas.h.i.+ng them with the pa.s.sionflower potion? Weren't these potions supposed to cause at least a little bit of amnesia? I mean, how was a witch supposed to spell-cast without getting caught? I took a deep breath and blew it out. This was just one more reason why magic is not for me.

The cell at the station could have been cleaner, but it wasn't so bad, all things considered. Marvin, who supports the whiskey and ale businesses a little too vigorously, was asleep next to me on one of the benches in the cell. He'd gotten wet in the storm and had only partially dried into a horrible, musty, sweaty, drunken mess. He smelled extremely bad, and I would have paid a thousand dollars I didn't have for one spray of Lysol or a little pine-scented room freshener.

When Zach showed up, he was as angry as I'd seen him since the day the judge granted me a divorce despite his protests. Zach had contested the thing as though I'd asked for one of his kidneys in the settlement. The judge told him he should've poured that kind of energy into the marriage, and we might not have ended up in court. Yep, Zach had been really steamed that day.

Zach used a key to unlock the door. "They put you in with Marv?"

"Had to. Some frat boys home for the weekend were in the other one, and I didn't feel comfortable with them."

Zach clenched his teeth 'til I thought his jaw would snap. "Come on out of there," he said, taking my hand and pulling me right to him.

"It wasn't toxic waste. I swear it."

"You think I don't know that?" He paused. "And you don't know the guy that attacked them, right?"

"What guy?"

"Someone in costume. Same guy who left the corpse at the scene I expect."

Hmm. I didn't think that it would be helpful for me to mention that it was the corpse that did the attacking.

"Er-"

"Never mind. Don't answer that here. I don't want you saying a word until I've got you a lawyer. I'll have to go by the bank and work something with the mortgage."

"I don't want you to remortgage your place. That's not fair. I'll have to do it with my house."

"That house isn't yours, Tammy Jo. You can't go take out a mortgage on it."

"I can't let you risk your house. We're not even married."

"Where else are you going to get the money?"

"Maybe I can just talk to Judge Bob. He's got a soft spot for my family."

"What he's got for your family ain't soft. And you're not askin' him for a d.a.m.n thing. We've got to get you a lawyer."

"She has a lawyer."

We both looked over to the doorway, where Bryn Lyons stood dressed in one of his designer suits. That man could put male models to shame with his good looks.

"No way," Zach ground out.

"For reasons I don't wish to discuss at this juncture, I'll be working gratis, which means free," Bryn said smoothly.

"You do family and corporate law. She doesn't need a divorce, and she isn't starting a business. You're not qualified to represent her in a criminal case. And besides which, no f.u.c.king way."

"Zach," I said gently. "He might be able to help get me out of here."

"Yeah, and so might I if I killed off the witnesses against you. Doesn't mean it'll work out for the best in the end. You let him represent you for free, he'll want something in return."

We both looked over to Bryn.

"The arrangements I work out with clients are always mutually acceptable. This is not a form of extortion. She needs legal counsel. I'm here to provide it."

I felt like a towel caught between a pair of dogs-I was very likely to be torn apart. But the bottom line was that I needed a lawyer, and free was all I could afford.

"You're hired," I said to Bryn.

The veins in Zach's neck threatened to burst, but he didn't say a word.

"Tell them I'll need a room to talk to my client in," Bryn said. "And tell them to bring me the warrant and every statement they've taken so far from witnesses. I want to see everything, right now."

"Lyons, I'm not your flunkie."

"If you want her out of here, you'll do what I ask."

They had a stare-down, all narrowed eyes and tight muscles, Zach looking ready to pummel Bryn, who never moved or took his eyes off his rival. Finally, Zach turned his head and looked at me.

"You remember what I told you the first night we went to New Braunfels?"

Sure, I remembered. Zach wasn't known for big romantic speeches, but he'd been young, in love, and more than a little drunk. I'd left camp, and he'd gone looking for me. "She's run off with the devil," Smitty had joked. "She doesn't run off," Zach told him. "If the devil's got her, it's 'cause he took her. And he's about to regret it when I get to h.e.l.l and kick his a.s.s." Later, I'd asked him, "Would you really come after me in h.e.l.l?" To which, he'd answered, "If you're in trouble and I don't come, it's 'cause I'm dead and buried. As long as I'm alive, darlin', I'm comin'."

I stared at him now. He couldn't get me out of this trouble on his own, but he wouldn't leave me to face it alone either.

"I remember."

He nodded. "You go on and talk to the lawyer. I'm going to talk to a few people myself."

"Don't hit anyone."

He smiled, despite his grimness. "Oh, I doubt I'll have to, darlin'. Usually all I need to do is make a fist."

Chapter 14.

Bryn and I sat across from each other at the conference table. He'd listened while I talked, all under the protection of attorney-client privilege. He took notes on a legal pad and looked so professional and detached that I felt like the whole night before had been just a dream.

"Fine," he said, closing the notebook when I finished. "Are you all right?"

"Oh sure. I've always wondered what it'd be like to be under arrest. It's not so bad really. I got a very nice cup of foamy cappuccino from City Hall, and I guess they'll be giving me a jumpsuit soon. Too bad it didn't happen before the Halloween party. Would have saved me some money on a costume."

"The reason I ask is that Bob Cuskin is conveniently out of town. My guess is that he wants to let things die down a bit before the bail hearing. I've made a couple calls for a subst.i.tute judge, but the soonest I can get someone here is tomorrow. You'll have to spend a night in jail."

I didn't have time to be in jail overnight. I was meant to be finding the locket. I put my head in my hands. "Know any good jailbreak spells?"

He chuckled. "You'll be fine. I'm certain Zach will make sure of that."

"If they let him."

"Think they could stop him?"

"Not unless they shoved him in a cell, too."

"Locked up with you, some men might not consider that such a hards.h.i.+p."

I looked up at him then. "You're not really gonna go there, are you?"

He grinned. "I suppose not. By the way, you made that henna paste pretty strong."

"So?"

He continued to smile, then laughed and shook his head.

"What?"

"All the Glenfiddle workers have dark brown smudges on their foreheads that won't wash off."

Jiminy Cricket. "Just great. They're disfigured. Next they'll be charging me with a.s.sault and battery."

"First of all, it's temporary. It'd be gone by the time they got you to court on that kind of charge. And second of all, no one saw you put that paste on anyone, and you're not going to testify that you did, so they've got no case."

"They might make one. Jenna and her sister-in-law would love to see me suffer, and they've got friends in high places. Like the Cuskins."

There was a rap on the door, and a young deputy who I didn't know looked in. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Time's up."

My heart did a tap dance in my chest. Back to that smelly, dingy cell where I'd never be able to sleep. "I'm ready," I said, despite the fact that my hands were trembling. The deputy closed the door to give us another moment.

"Listen, it's just as important to me to find my locket as it is for me to get out of jail. Have you made any progress on finding the thieves?"