Falling For The Deputy Part 17

He began to move his hand across the table to hold hers, but she dropped her spoon and crossed her arms tightly as if she were trying to lock herself away. No. Let me get this out, she said.

He sat back, helpless. An ugly feeling he thought hed begun to overcome in the past few months.

I realized, she continued, her words a painful rasp, that in distancing myself, I was depriving her of a second daughter.

Bam.

He sat bolt upright in his chair as her revelation triggered something in him. Hed done the same thing she hadhadnt he? The whole town had mourned his buddy Nate when he hadnt returned from Iraq. But Mack hadnt really returned, either. Not the Mack his friends and family remembered. The loss couldnt be easy for them.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table between them. First a self-inventory, he said. Then amends.

Sounds like two of twelve steps, she replied, not loosening the grip she had on herself.

Whatever. He pushed the phone closer to her. Its supposed to work.

The look in her eyes was clear and piercing. No tears. Supposed to work? You havent tried it.

Touche.

As if it were made of kryptonite, Mack picked up the cell and dialed.

Ma, its me. Mack, he said when his mother answered. Before she could jump to the conclusion that disaster had struck, he said, Everythings okay. Im about to turn in. I just wanted to let you know that were back from the Pillar and Post, and I kept an eye on Atherton like you wanted.

Did you have a good time? Lily asked.

Yes. I did, he admitted.

Then sleep well. I love you.

II love you, too, Mack said, then disconnected. Chloe couldnt know how long it had been since hed told his mother he loved her. The sincere expression of his feelings lifted his spirits.

Before Chloe could question him, he held out the phone. Your turn.

Chloe felt Macks gesture as if it were a physical a.s.sault. With a start she stood up. Suddenly the kitchen, which had seemed so warm and comforting, closed in on her. She pushed through the back door to the garden and stood in the moonlight, sucking in great gulps of air. When Mack followed her, she made her way to the old oak tree and the swing, deliberately avoiding the wrought-iron bench, which could accommodate two.

Wrapping her arms around the smooth hemp ropes, she sat on the wooden swing seat. She noticed with satisfaction that Mack wasnt chasing her with the phone. Eyes closed, she lifted her feet and let herself float on the night air. Let the chill envelop her and cool her. She didnt know if she could reach out to her parentsher mother, especiallythe way Mack had reached out to Lily.

She heard his boots on the gravel path. Felt his warmth behind her. Smelled the faint scent of his soap. He placed his hands over hers on the ropes. Leaned close so that his lips brushed her ear. Made her eyes fly open and the hair stand up on the back of her neck.

Its all right, he said in a voice at once tough yet rea.s.suring. Youre strong. Youll eventually do what needs doing.

Before she could answer, he pulled the swing backway backthen held her suspended above the ground. When she thought he might find some way to leave her hanging until she came to her senses, he gave a tremendous push and sent her swooping on an exhilarating arc.

At the familiar tightening of her stomach, she gasped with pleasure, just as Claire had done so many times when Chloe had pushed her on the playground swings. When Mack pushed more forcefully, she could hear her sister shouting, Higher! Could hear her laughter.

Claire, only a toddler, had been all about impetuosity and laughter and unconditional love. And that, Chloe suddenly realized, was what she had abandoned. What she had withheld from her parents. Who probably, despite their stoicism, had always needed as much emotional support from her as she had from them.

On the backswing, when Mack pushed her again, she pumped her legs and shouted, Higher! At the top of the forward swing, she let go of the ropes and honestly believed she could fly. And she did. For a couple of seconds before she lost both shoes and landed on the soft, cool gra.s.s of Junes manicured lawn. She held her sides and let the laughterand the tearsflow freely.

The borrowed outfit would have to be dry-cleanedand Mack would think she was nutsbut Chloe lay on her back and made angels in the dew. Mack stood above her, his hand extended, his mouth twitching in a lopsided grin that looked as rusty as her laughter felt.

She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. Thank you, she said, feeling pounds lighter.

He held on to her and, with his free hand, brushed a leaf from her hair. Even after the leaf floated to the ground, the sensation of his touch lingered. Excited her. Warned her to be careful. Sharing their secrets was much more intimacy than shed ever intended.

When he leaned in to kiss her, she pressed the flat of her hand to the middle of his chest. Immediately he released her and stepped back.

Are you going to be all right? he asked, his voice brusque as shadows played over his features.

Yes. It might be the truth if she could take the last few minutes and bottle them.

Then Ill see you one more time tomorrow, he said.

The sheriffs welcome-home party. Three oclock. Ill be there. What else was there to say?

Unless she could find a way to maintain her break with the past and live in the present, she couldnt offer up a future.

When he walked out of the garden and around the side of the house, she allowed herself one long, last, moonlit look and felt the bottle of magic minutes break.

She was going to miss Mack.

M ACK LOOKED AT HIS watch. Three oclock on the dot. Hed planned to arrive at the reception before Garrett and Samantha, welcome them with the rest of the community, then duck out at the first opportunity with the excuse of relieving the few members of the staff manning headquarters this afternoon.

Inside the fire hall, people had already arrived by the dozens. June and Rachel had their volunteers, his mother included, lined up to protect the refreshment table. No one, absolutely no one, was getting through that formidable defense until Garrett and Samantha arrived to take the first bite. Chloe had been so busy snapping photos of the preparations, it had been easy to avoid her.

He didnt do goodbyes.

Theyre coming! someone shouted.

The crowd parted to let Garrett and Samantha through, along with Rory, who bounced joyously from one to the other like a golden retriever pup. Sam, of course, was as beautiful and poised as ever. But Garrettwhat a change. For a workaholic, the man looked relaxed and happy out of uniform. There must be something to married lifefor some peopleMack thought.

He was pleased to see that Chloe didnt force an interview. She took photos, yes, but discreetly. She did follow the family, however, and as they made their way around the hall, Mack knew a meetingwith all fourwas inevitable.

Hey, today wasnt about him. Or about a woman so beautiful by moonlight she made him dream what it might feel like to be free to pursue her.

He pasted what he hoped was a smile on his face as Garrett and Samantha drew near. Rory had been sidetracked by the refreshment table, but Chloe stood tenaciously off to the side, her camera ready.

Congratulations! he said and meant it as Garrett clapped him on the back.

Its wonderful to be home! Samantha planted a kiss on each of his cheeks.

Click. No mistaking that d.a.m.ned camera.

How was the honeymoon? Mack asked, turning so that Chloes lens would be not on him, but on the newlyweds.

Nothing short of awesome. A look of absolute contentment on his face, Garrett slipped his arm around Samanthas waist, and she nestled against him.

He ate so much beef and Yorks.h.i.+re pudding, she said, I made him tramp all over the countryside to work it off.

I cant believe how much the English love to walk, Garrett added. Puts us car-dependent folks to shame.

Ask him about the fis.h.i.+ng in Scotland, Samantha said. I know hes dying to tell you.

Salmon this big. Garrett released Samantha to place his hands two and a half feet apart.

Click.

All three turned in the direction of the sound.

Chloe lowered the camera to extend her hand. Hi. Im Chloe Atherton. The reporter from the Sun. At Samanthas questioning frown, she added, Sheriff McQuire and I agreed to a special report on his department. Ive been following MackDeputy Whittaker this past week.

Slowly, tryingunsuccessfullynot to grin, Garrett turned to Mack. Hows that been working out?

Mack felt the color drain from his face.

Sudden understanding flickered in Garretts eyes. And right then and there Mack vowed never to discuss women with his old buddy ever again.

Theres a report on your desk, Mack said.

Come on, Garrett said, wheedling him. Fill me in.

Samantha shook her husbands arm. No shoptalk! Were here to mix and mingle. Socially.

Rory wove his way to them through the crowd. Hey, yall, Im starving. But Miss June wont let me have so much as a sniff before you two have filled a plate.

Then we must fill a plate, Samantha said, pulling her stepson into a hug. We cant have that hollow leg collapsing.

As Samantha and Rory, arm in arm, turned toward the refreshment table, Garrett stepped protectively between his family and Chloe. Ms. Atherton, he said. I hope you have enough photos of us.

Of course, she replied with an understanding nod.

Good. Garrett punched Mack on the shoulder. Then stay here and take all the shots you want of this handsomedid anyone say single? deputy.

Chloe watched the two men with interest, but after Garrett left to follow his wife and son, she began loading her camera into her backpack.

Mack could identify with her reluctance to talk to him.

I need to relieve Rollins and Darden back at headquarters, he said at last, trying to extricate himself from the possibility of a goodbye.

And I need to get back to Brevard. She zipped her backpack with a flourish. The Yugos all packed.

G.o.d, I hate thinking of you driving these mountainous roads in that thing. He nearly bit his tongue in surprise at the proprietary tone. Whod said that?

Chloe blushed and the moment stretched awkwardly.

Remember the team when you write the article, he cautioned.

Dont you wish, she said with a small smile and a flutter of fingers next to her temple as she turned for the exit. The crowd swallowed her immediately.

Mack headed for headquarters before he found himself admitting what it was he really wished.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

E NTERING HER B REVARD APARTMENT , Chloe wrinkled her nose. What was that nasty odor?

It didnt take long to discover the week-old, half-empty carton of cottage cheese shed left on the counter next to the kitchen sink. As a writer, she couldnt think of a more fitting metaphor for her life at present. Curdled. She washed the mess down the garbage disposal, then opened a window and spritzed some air freshener.

Sticking her head in the fridge, she was dismayed to see a yellowing bunch of broccoli, two apples, three limp carrots, a hunk of cheddar, a bag of coffee beans and something fuzzy and green in an open bowl. She grabbed an apple.

With a sigh, she wandered into the living room and surveyed the weeks worth of mail shed brought in and dumped on the ottoman. She glanced at the scattering of leaves her potted plants had dropped on the floor, the knitting supplies shed bought before this trip but hadnt done anything withyet had managed to strew the length of her sofa. Her laptop was sending silent accusations from inside her backpack. When will you get your article written? it said. At that moment, her life seemed small and circ.u.mscribed.

Applegate was maybe a quarter the size of Brevard, but shed come to feel, if not at home, then more alive there. The citizens had befriended her and pushed her to take a personal inventory.

And Mack?

Besides the fact that he was one h.e.l.l of a deputy sheriff and subject for an article? Better not go there.

Better start the article. Right now.

Dragging her backpack into her bedroom, she began emptying the contents onto her unmade bed. Her home office. She wished she had one of Sarah Culpeppers hermit bars. Or a couple of June Parkers cranberry-orange scones. Or even a cheeseburger from Phils Eats. But she bit into the apple as she spread out her copious notes and the tape recorder and its many tapes on the bed linens. When shed hooked her Nikon up to her computer, she settled back into the pillows to view a slide show of all the photos shed taken.

Hundreds.

Mostly of Mack.

She deleted the ones where hed put up his hand to s.h.i.+eld his face or had deliberately turned away. But the ones where shed caught him engrossed in his work took her breath away. Now that she didnt have to worry about appearances, she paused each frame to examine the images of a very compelling man.

Tall, physically fit and serious, he seemed to fill more than her laptop screen. He was there in her bedroom. Only now she couldnt ask him how he got that small b.u.mp on an otherwise perfect nose. In unguarded moments his dark brown eyes expressed an inner pain and conflict even as his body exuded authority. One of the shots showed him directing the sandbag filling operation after the storm. His hands drew her into the scene. Strong hands. Lean and long-fingered. Hands that had, if only briefly, claimed possession of her body. She s.h.i.+vered.

How was she going to get through to the other side of this article without injecting personal bias?

How could she turn her experience into a meaningful piece? About a community. About a department. About a man. How could she maintain a journalistic honesty without, as June had put it, rummaging around in someones pain to sell papers?

And whose pain? His? Or hers?

She glanced at the cell phone among the other items surrounding her on the bed. Hed urged her to phone her parents. And she knew he didnt mean the sort of weekly call to talk about work.

She and Mack had left on neutral terms. There had been no promises to hook up down the road. Although there hadnt been a grand rift, either, Chloe knew without a doubt there could be no attempt at any kind of relations.h.i.+p until her article was finished.

As her fingers hovered over the keyboard, they shook. She shut her eyes and called up some of what shed learned. From her mother. Believe only what you see. What you can prove.