Someday I'll Find You Part 30

After a couple of days, Rae stood by the hospital window, staring out at the bleak autumn day. She heard the door open and stiffly turned around. It was Sarah with flowers.

"Good morning. You're up, that's good...Though you still look like you've been through eight rounds." She rearranged the flowers. She knew Rae was still in a dark mood. Twice she told Sarah to forget about her and leave.

Now Rae stood there watching her. "Sarah." She winced and put her hand to her swollen cheek. She swallowed and tried again. "I thought I told you..."

Sarah looked at her. "To leave, I know. Is that what you really want?"

Rae turned from her. "Yes. It's what I really want. Now will you beat it?" she said as clearly as her broken cheek would allow.

Sarah put the newspaper on the bed. "All right, I'll go. I can't make you love me. I can't do that for you. So wallow in this for as long as you like. I truly hope you can find your way out of it. If you do, give me a call," she said as her heart ached.

She took a step toward Rae. "Maybe someday I'll find you," she whispered, "again." She turned, barely able to see through the tears that flooded her eyes. "Goodbye, Commander Jefferson." She hurried out the door.

Rae stared out at the cold day. "Goodbye, Professor Connelly," she whispered as she blinked, sending the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Chapter 34.

The winter had come and gone. It was March. The snow was gone, and the fresh smell of spring was in the air. Rae stood by her fireplace, staring at the flames. Her bruises healed, and her cheek was back to normal. She could finally eat solid foods.

She stood alone, watching the fire as she drank her coffee. Sarah's face crowded her every thought. She hadn't spoken to her since she left that day in the hospital. Rae knew she wouldn't call. It was up to Rae, and Rae thought the best thing was to let her get on with her life, find a normal healthy lesbian, and live happily ever after.

"What the f.u.c.k do I know?" she said to her coffee cup.

To get her mind off Sarah, which she knew was impossible for long, she thought of the trial that ensued after the mess was over. Jerry Truman, of course, was still dead. Pam testified that she thought Amy's death was an accident. Deep in her heart, she knew they killed her.

However, with the case reopened, DNA testing found Mike Porter all over Amy's body and all over her apartment. He never admitted to it, so it was never quite clear. As much as McGrath and the D.A. could ascertain, he must have given Amy that drug from ComTele and got her to the Chicago River. He either pushed her in or... Perhaps he reconsidered and tried not to. Perhaps Amy did slip and fall into the river. No one would ever know, but it didn't matter. They found him guilty.

The ComTele building had been vacant for three months. They fired poor Mr. Billings; the government contracts were taken away and the business sold. His nephew Mike Porter got twenty to life for murder, dealing drugs, and myriad other felonies.

They found Molly Eastman two months later in her bed. She had overdosed and died three weeks after that-complications from pneumonia. Pam was sentenced to five years for possession and dealing. Being her first offense and the fact that she nearly died trying to stop Jerry Truman, the court showed mercy; it was reduced to two, and with good behavior, she'd serve six months. She had an excellent lawyer. She'd be out soon, nearly all that time spent in a prison hospital. This nightmare ruined her, as well.

The Snake Pit closed. A diner was going up in its place after it was fumigated. What a story, Rae thought, and what a tragedy. Although it brought Sarah Connelly into her life, it was at a great cost.

The ring of her doorbell broke her thoughts. It was Delia and Jane. Jane kissed Rae and handed her a bouquet of daffodils. Rae looked at them, instantly remembering last October.

"Thanks," she said quietly as Jane took the flowers and headed toward the kitchen.

Delia kissed her, as well. "Call Sarah?"

Rae frowned. "No. Will you two quit with that? It's over and done."

"We just stopped by on our way out shopping. You've isolated yourself up here for the past five months. Not even coming over for Thanksgiving or Christmas," Delia scolded as she sat and sighed. She then looked at Jane and shook her head.

"So you're just going to let her get away from you? Just let the only woman in the world that you've ever loved..." Delia said angrily.

Rae paced back and forth. "d.a.m.n it, Delia. Will you b.u.t.t out?" she bellowed.

Jane sat and listened to both of them.

With that, the doorbell rang again. "Christ, Grand Central Station," she cursed and answered the door. It was Betty.

"Why am I not surprised?" She stepped back.

Betty grunted a good morning and smiled at Delia and Jane.

"Ladies, good morning. Any luck?" she asked dryly. They shook their heads.

"Get me a cup of tea, please, Jane," she asked and winked. Jane chuckled and headed for the kitchen.

Rae stood there, watching all of them. "Okay, what's going on?" She looked at Delia. "Delia, spill it."

"Sarah is leaving town."

"A vacation?" Rae's heart sank.

"No, she is seriously considering moving to California," Betty interjected.

Rae paced in front of the fire. "What's in California?" She felt sick to her stomach at the very idea.

"Not what...who," Delia said.

Rae looked back and forth, dumbfounded.

Betty rolled her eyes. "Commander Jefferson, you are a nincomp.o.o.p," she said emphatically. Jane had just come in with her tea, and she stopped. Delia tried desperately not to laugh.

Rae just blinked, saying nothing.

"A nincomp.o.o.p is a..."

"I'm well aware of what a nincomp.o.o.p is," Rae said evenly. "She's moving to California with this Sharon woman."

Betty grunted. "Well, it's about time. Yes, now what are you going to do about it?"

Rae shot her an incredulous look. "Do? She's a grown woman."

Delia groaned out loud and set her teacup down with a bang. Jane sat next to her and squeezed her knee. "Rae Jefferson, you're in love with her, and she's in love with you. Now if Sergeant Walchek were here, you know what he'd say...What are you prepared to do?"

There was silence for a moment. "It's a fairly simple question. Even a nincomp.o.o.p..." Betty started.

Rae glared at her. "She's better off."

"You coward!" Delia spat out and stood.

Rae whirled around, a dark look flashed across her face. "That's enough, Delia," she said with quiet resolution.

"It's not nearly enough. You hide behind Higgins and use that whole episode as an excuse to avoid getting on with life. The fact is you're scared. You've finally met the one, and you don't know what to do about it. Well, join the f.u.c.king club!" she said angrily.

Betty coughed, and Delia turned red.

"Sorry," she mumbled and sat.

Rae turned to her, tears in her eyes. She threw herself into her chair and buried her head in her hands.

"Rae," Jane started, "when I realized how Pam's life was so screwed up, I felt responsible somehow. I should have known she was in trouble with drugs and everything else, but now, I realize that I couldn't have helped her. She was on a downward spiral, and only she could get herself out of it. If she took the offered help... Rae, you love Sarah. Don't let the past nightmare ruin the dream of her."

Rae looked up and smiled through her tears. "You're quite a poet."

"Professor Connelly was a good teacher."

Rae looked over at Betty, who was leaning on her cane, giving her a matriarchal look. Rae chuckled, thanking the G.o.ds for such good friends.

"She's at the Village Inn, outside of Lake Geneva. Room 312. I believe she's planning on spending the weekend with Sharon, who should be joining her later this evening," Betty said, and Rae's mind raced at the thought of someone else touching her, holding her...

"What are you prepared to do?" Delia asked once again.

"Can I borrow your car?" she asked Delia and headed for the bedroom to change.

"Don't you dare go to her unless you make an honest woman out of her!" Betty called after her and winked at Jane and Delia. "I will not have the head of the English Literature Department of Northwestern University hurt in any way!" she added and leaned into Jane. "This is so much fun," she declared with a small giggle and stopped as Rae came down the hall.

Delia tossed her the car keys, and Rae plucked them out of the air. She kissed Betty's head. "Keep still, you meddling old woman. I love all of you, truly I do." She headed out the door.

They all looked at the door, then back to one another.

"Well, round one," Betty said. "Keep your fingers crossed. Now I'm taking you both to a very expensive restaurant for lunch."

Chapter 35.

Sarah looked at the lonely fireplace, then looked around the room. She put her suitcase on the bed and sat. It was an adorable and cozy room. Betty had this idea for her to get away for the weekend. Though she had dozens of papers to grade and laundry up the wazoo, Betty insisted and wouldn't leave her alone.

Well, time alone would be good for her. She looked out at the lake and decided to go for a walk. She bundled up and headed out.

As she walked by the water, her mind constantly wandered to Rae. It'd been so long since she's heard from her-too long.

"d.a.m.n that woman." She sighed openly as she pulled her coat around her. I know she loves me, Sarah thought. It was in her kiss, the way she touched her, and the look in her blue eyes. "I know I'm right," she said but knew she could do nothing about it. She headed back to her room and sat, staring out the window.

Rae pulled into the parking lot of the Village Inn. It was noon, plenty of time before that Sharon creature was to arrive. She walked up to the desk, and a woman smiled a greeting.

"I need a room, please. I know it's short notice," she started, and the woman asked her name and Rae gave it.

"Your reservation is all set, room 314. It adjoins room 312." She smiled and handed Rae the key.

"Um, okay," Rae said stupidly, not knowing what was going on. "Has Ms. Connelly checked in yet?"

She looked at the register. "Yes, she has. She's in her room now."

Rae's heart was skipping out of control. She took a deep breath. "I wonder if you can do me a huge favor. Do you have a florist close by?"

An hour later, Sarah got tired of looking out at the woods. She decided to take a long hot soak. That should take her mind off Rae-fat chance.

It didn't work, it made it worse. She lay in the luxurious bubbles only wis.h.i.+ng Rae was with her. As she put on her robe, someone knocked at her door. She opened it and was shocked to see Rae standing there, holding one daffodil. She held it out and smiled fondly.

"Forgive me, Sarah, please. It's 'Be nice to an idiot week.'"

Sarah stood there stupefied but took the daffodil and stepped back. Rae walked into the room.

"How did you know I was here?" she asked, gently holding the yellow flower.

Rae smiled quietly. "We have very, very good friends. Brutally honest but good friends nonetheless." She looked around. "May I sit?"

Sarah nodded and sat on the window seat. Rae sat in the chair by the fireplace. "Good grief, woman, you've got a fireplace... Do you mind?"

"No, please."

Rae could see she was hesitant, and she couldn't blame her. Without a word, she had the fire roaring and crackling in a few moments.

She sat back, and they sat in silence, staring at the fire. After a moment, Rae broke the silence. "I'm every kind of a fool, Sarah. This is twice I've hurt you since we've met. I don't know if saying I'm sorry is good enough or if you want to hear it from me. I just don't want you to go to California with that woman without-"

"California? With what woman?" she asked, truly baffled.

Rae looked at her. "Sarah, please, I know all about it. I want you happy. I just don't want you to run off-"

"Run off? What do you take me for-some teenager? Or perhaps you think I'm as addle-brained as the women you sleep with."

Rae gaped at her. "Hey, I haven't slept with anyone since you. And they were not all addle-brained," she said heatedly. "I'm sorry if they didn't meet with your academic standard like Sharon," she added sarcastically.

"Meet it? They probably couldn't spell it," Sarah countered angrily. "And where did you get the idea that I was going to California with Sharon? Are you insane?" She gave her a skeptical look. "It's a bit early, but have you been drinking?"

Rae took a menacing step toward her and stopped. "No, I have not been drinking. I haven't had a drink in six stinking months! But I almost started smoking again," she bellowed, and Sarah winced.

"Well, that accounts for the temper," she said lightly.

Rae would have none of it. "Betty and the girls told me the whole story," she said smugly.