Chantecler Part 31

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Jumping up in the air toward the_ DRONE.] How do you do? How do you do? [_She follows his flight with excited leaps and hops._]

THE BLACKBIRD [_Touching his brow with his wing._] She is dotty!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_At the back, with shrill_ GUINEA-HEN _cries._] It's my last day! How do you do? My last day until August! Mondays in August, don't forget!

A HEN [_Seeing cherries dropping around her._] Oh, cherries, look!

THE PHEASANT-HEN [_Looking upward._] It is the Breeze!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Fluttering forward again, excited as ever._] I have the Breeze, who now and then shakes down a cherry! I never ask her. She comes unasked.

What's-his-name is here! And What's-her-name is here, and--[_To the back tumultuously._]

THE BLACKBIRD And Thingumbob, and Stick-in-the-mud! [_He has arrived without appearance of design beneath the tree where the_ CAT _is lying, and asks rapidly, under breath._] Cat, what about the conspiracy?

THE CAT [_Who from his tree can see beyond the hedge._] It is afoot. I see the interminable file of phenomenal c.o.c.ks approaching, headed by the Peac.o.c.k who comes to present them.

A CRY [_Outside._] Ee--yong! [_The_ CROWD _throngs toward the entrance._]

PATOU [_Grumbling._] That abominable concertina cry--

THE MAGPIE The Peac.o.c.k!

THE PHEASANT-HEN [_To the_ BLACKBIRD.] Have you a fancy name for him?

THE BLACKBIRD [_Imitating the_ PEAc.o.c.k'S _cry._] Our great Accordee-yong!

SCENE SECOND

THE SAME, THE PEAc.o.c.k.

THE GUINEA-HEN [_To the_ PEAc.o.c.k, _who enters slowly, with his head borne very stiff and high._] Master, dear Master, would you be so extremely condescending as to come and stand with your back to these sunflowers? Peac.o.c.k!

Sunflowers! A study for Burne-Jones!

ALL [_Crowding around the_ PEAc.o.c.k.] Master! Master!

A CHICKEN [_Low to the_ DUCK.] A word from him can make one's fortune in society!

ANOTHER CHICKEN [_Who has succeeded in forcing his way to the_ PEAc.o.c.k, _stammering with emotion._] Master, what do you think of my latest "cheep"? [_Suspense.

Religious silence._]

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Solemnly, letting the word drop slowly from his beak._] Definitive.

[_Sensation._]

A DUCK [_Trembling._] And my "quack"? [_Suspense._]

THE PEAc.o.c.k Ultimate! [_Sensation._]

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Delighted, to the_ HENS.] I may say that it is at my days most especially he throws off these specimens of a verbal art which might fairly be called--

THE PEAc.o.c.k Lapidary.

ALL THE HENS [_Rolling up their eyes._] Wonderful!

A HEN [_Coming forward, faint with emotion._] Master, high priest of taste, what do you think of my dress? [_Suspense._]

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_After a glance._] Affirmative. [_Sensation._]

THE TUFTED HEN [_Same business._] And my bonnet? [_Suspense._]

THE PEAc.o.c.k Absolute. [_Sensation._]

THE GUINEA-HEN [_In a burst of emotion._] Our bonnets are absolute!

THE PHEASANT-HEN [_Affecting exclusive interest in the_ BEES.] Ah, there is the Choir Invisible striking up again!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Presenting the young_ GUINEA-c.o.c.k _to the_ PEAc.o.c.k.] My son!--What do you think of him?

THE PEAc.o.c.k Plausible.

CHORUS OF WASPS _Busily buzzing_--

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Overjoyed, running to the_ PHEASANT-HEN.] Oh, he said he was plausible!

THE PHEASANT-HEN Who was?

THE GUINEA-HEN My son!

CHORUS OF BEES

_When July Too holly glows Seek the shade Inside the rose_!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Returning to the_ PEAc.o.c.k.] Does not the rhythm of that chorus impress you as--

THE PEAc.o.c.k Asunartetos!

A HEN [_To the_ GUINEA-HEN.] Your guest, my dear, can fit an epithet!

THE GUINEA-HEN Pontiff of the Unexpected Adjective I call him!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Distilling his words, in a discordant haughty voice._] True it is that--

THE GUINEA-HEN Ah, this is most pleasant, most pleasant! He is going to talk to us.

THE PEAc.o.c.k --a Ruskin rather more refined, I hope, than the earlier one, with a tact--

THE GUINEA-HEN Very true!