The Song Of Songs Part 45

It was not happiness. She experienced scarcely a single transport of feeling. That came later, when she had conquered her horror of the monstrous deed, and her fear of discovery had weakened. Nothing occurred to disturb them, and Lilly expanded in a sense of defiant security.

Then it was a blissful sailing over awful abysms, a delirium of the senses, a nebulous ecstasy, a delightful writhing under lacerating blows, an ebb and flow of magnanimous scorn of self and blasphemous prayers.

Laughter came again. Not the old simple laughter that had dominated the play of her spirit until within a short time before. No, this laughter was sardonic exultation, the exultation of the hounded thief, who carries his booty off to security, behind the backs of his pursuers.

Lilly also found reasons for justifying herself.

"I am merely fulfilling my destiny. I am now getting back the possession which fate promised to me and which the old man so long kept from me."

In addition there was a redeeming element in all she did, consecrating the most arrant deception and endowing it with purity. This was the consciousness that he was being saved. Under the spell of a lofty love he would learn to scorn vulgar escapades and, borne on the wings of a woman's expiating favour, he would rise to the heights on which men and heroes dwell.

With these thoughts she drugged her conscience each time; and when he lay in her arms she gave them whispered expression--the doors were not heavy and all sounds must be m.u.f.fled.

He laughed and kissed the words from her mouth. If she grew uneasy and demanded pledges, he vowed the stars out of the heaven.

Miss von Schwertfeger now never stayed in Lilly's room later than eleven o'clock. This was the hour he might come, and by half past one he had to be gone.

Of course he had to confine his visits to the evenings when the colonel went to town. On account of the time the trains ran, the colonel could not possibly return before two. Besides the carriage could be heard at some distance.

Before Walter left he had to unlock the door to the colonel's room, and smoke a cigarette to rid the atmosphere of the stable and leather smell he brought with him from his own room. For it often happened that the colonel stuck his head in before going to bed; or, if the wine had loosened his tongue, he would even awaken Lilly, seat himself at her bedside, laugh, cast about his dagger glances pick his yellow teeth, and tell the juiciest stories which had arrived fresh from the Berlin centres of obscenity and made the rounds of his club in town.

Lilly played the drowsy p.u.s.s.y, and purred and yawned She began to feel so secure that once she actually fell asleep right in the middle of a laugh.

Oh, if only there had been no Miss von Schwertfeger!

Not that Miss von Schwertfeger had noticed anything. The horrors of such a possibility were inconceivable. But her restless, hasty comings and goings, the almost anxious greed with which she pried about, gave sufficient cause for concern.

She looked very pale and worn, while the fleshy region about her mouth and her sharp, scenting nose glowed a still deeper red.

You might suppose she tippled in secret. But such thing would be bound to leak out, and at table scarce a drop pa.s.sed her lips.

"Let her do whatever she wants to," thought Lilly, "if only she doesn't come spying on me as she did on Katie."

And sometimes it occurred to Lilly that she herself was no better than the poor maid Katie, whom they had chased from the castle.

CHAPTER XXII

It was shortly before midnight one evening late in November.

Miss von Schwertfeger had said good-night, and _he_ was sitting at Lilly's pillow wet and frozen through. He had been standing in the chilly drizzle a long time before the signal agreed upon--two rattles of the shutter bolt--had summoned him to her room.

Now, everything was serene. The entire house was asleep; the watchman had made his rounds, and the ladder, which Von Prell drew up after him for greater security, reposed peacefully on the balcony.

The blue-shaded chandelier bathed the warm, perfumed room in the light of a summer evening. Drops of rain splashed softly against the shutters, and the November wind whined like a beggar.

Lilly lay comfortably under her blue silk quilt, holding his hand and dreaming up into his face, which, even in moments of self-abandon, retained its expression of abashed roguery. She saw the freckled bridge of his nose, the white-lashed, blinking eyes, the peaked chin covered with stubble and almost hidden by the green collar of his working jacket. He could no longer smarten himself for her sake. His housemates might notice the change.

They did not say much to each other. If only he was with her, he who belonged to her in life and death, who like herself had been cast astray in this strange world.

She drew his head down and stroked his forehead smooth from lack of a man's cares, and wiped away a few drops still clinging to his temples.

The clock on the wall struck twelve softly, the hanging lamp swung back and forth, casting long sliding shadows on the ceiling, like the shadow of a rocking cradle, or like great raven's wings flitting to and fro inaudibly.

Suddenly from the court came the rumble of carriage wheels, whether in arrival or departure they could not determine. Both started up and listened and looked at the clock.

Twelve--impossible! The horses were never harnessed before quarter to two. They would have to wait entirely too long at the station.

Perhaps it was the milkman who had been delayed at the railroad in getting his cans.

They calmed down.

A long, precious hour was still ahead of them, rich in care-free pleasures and oblivion.

To express his triumph Von Prell sucked in his cheeks and rounded his eyes.

With a luxurious smile Lilly put out her arms and drew herself up to him.

At that instant three short, sharp raps sounded on the door opening into the corridor, and Miss von Schwertfeger called:

"Open the door, Lilly! At once!"

Walter jumped to his feet.

When Lilly looked around he had already left the room.

She felt a ringing in her ears, a dull desire to let herself sink down; but renewed raps at the door tore her out of bed and insisted upon her turning the key.

Before she could stow herself under the covers again to conceal her overwhelming shame, she noticed Miss von Schwertfeger look about the room hastily, make a dash for something round and grey unostentatiously lying in a corner--Lilly did not realise it was Walter's cap until later--shove back the bolt of the door to the colonel's room, and then in sudden transition to tranquillity seat herself alongside Lilly's pillow.

"Be careful not to cry," Lilly heard her say; and that instant the colonel's step resounded in the corridor.

"Well, well, so late! How time does fly when you talk!" cried Miss von Schwertfeger for the benefit of the colonel before he entered. Her voice expressed endless astonishment.

There he stood disagreeably surprised, it seemed, not to find his young wife alone.

"Where did you drop from all of a sudden, colonel? You didn't order a special train, did you? You couldn't have flown here either. At least I've never observed that you possess the art of flying, have you Lilly dear? Poor Lilly's lying there perfectly stiff with surprise."

Thus Miss von Schwertfeger talked against time, evidently trying to secure a few moments for Lilly in which she might pull herself together.

And the colonel w.i.l.l.y-nilly had to render account. On the way to the station it had occurred to him that one of the neighbours--he mentioned the name--was celebrating his birthday that day. So he drove over to his place instead of going to town.

"Well," said Miss von Schwertfeger, "the greatest marvels have the simplest explanations. Good-night, dear, I hope you sleep well and get rid of that headache of yours."

The colonel p.r.i.c.ked up his ears.