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We laughed, then I sobered slightly and bit the corner of my lip. "How do you think Caressa will feel about Jennifer coming?"
Mer clicked her tongue. "Caressa always stood up for us, but she doesn't have a hateful bone in her body. She'll be fine. She'll be thrilled!"
"You're sure?"
My buddy looked supremely confident, which is something. I always used Meryl's emotions as a barometer for my own, which were all over the map (I know that's a shocker). "I've kept her up to speed with All Things Jennifer, so she knows we're helping her, hanging out and stuff. She's fine with it."
I huffed. "Well, there's that and then there's inviting her to New York on what should be a Three Amigas trip."
Mer angled her head toward the front door. "If you're worried, there's one way to find out how she feels for sure. If she's totally against it, you still have time to buy a different gift and forget the whole thing."
We bolted our way up to her room and launched a group IM. Meryl, Caressa, and me, together again.
Two weeks and counting!
Caressa As had become our habit since we'd begun the more-than-friends thing, I was hanging with Joaquin in the empty (at the moment) dance studio in Park Slope while he practiced. I never tired of watching that boy dance. Thomas was hangin' downstairs in the coffee shop, catching up on today's Times. He knew by now that I wasn't a gullible, impressionable girl, and leaving Joaquin and me alone together was cool. I sat against one of the mirrored walls, knees pulled up to my chest, just...being. Soaking it all in. This summer had been...wow...completely intense.
In so many ways.
The city, the show, my new friends.
Joaquin. Tummy flop.
My life here was so different from my life back home. Neither one was better. They were just different. And yet similar, too. I know that sounds stupid. At home, I had my close group of girls, my family, my own thing. Here I had my close group of guys, my theater family, my own thing.
I found myself missing Lila and Meryl something awful just as Joaquin executed this split jump that had such lift and extension, it stole my breath.
The BlackBerry bleeped while he was in midair.
Joaquin looked over with a smile as he landed the jump.
"Sorry," I said, pawing through my bag.
"It's cool, baby," he said. He tapped on his temple and added, "Mental concentration. That's what it's about," before going back to his work as if the interruption was no sweat. His dedication to craft and perfection awed me.
I checked the text: Check your IM! NOW!!!
"I'll be right back." Psyched and curious, I scrambled up from the floor and headed toward the studio's office. I already knew I could use their computer to sign on, because I'd been here with Joaquin many times before. The owners were like his second family. When he wasn't performing, he taught lessons here, to kids from his own 'hood. He basically had the run of the place.
I quickly tapped in, smiling when I saw the group IM invite.
Lipstickgrrrrl: Que pasa, chicas?
LawBreakR: Okay, U already speak more Spanish than I do. That's just wrong.
I laughed out loud. Lila was so full of c.r.a.p. Her dad spoke Spanish to her all the time, and she understood every word. She just didn't use it, rebellious little wench.
MerylM: I can't stand this. Just tell her!
Lipstickgrrrrl: Tell me what?
LawBreakR: Brace yourself.
Lipstickgrrrrl: Braced.
LawBreakR: 2 weeks. 2 weeks, and we'll B in NYC 2 CU!
I shrieked-couldn't help it. Then I read and reread the line about five times. I honestly hadn't realized how homesick for Meryl and Lila I was. Finally, with shaky fingers, I got back to typing, though I couldn't seem to come up with anything except- Lipstickgrrrrl: Um...what????
LawBreakR: It's my Bday present from my dad!
MerylM: And Chloe.
LawBreakR: Yes, and Chloe. She's coming 2. Our chaperone. :-) We have tickets 2 the show!! UR show!
Lipstickgrrrrl: OMG, U guys, that's beyond fantastic!! Tell me EVERYTHING! When do U get here, where are U staying, etc.
MerylM: Tell her the rest, Lila. It's okay.
Lipstickgrrrrl: The rest? Uh-oh. Sounds ominous.
LawBreakR: It's not, really. It's just that Jennifer might be coming 2. No biggie, honest. She's like a totally different person, U won't believe it.
MerylM: Lila just thought it would be a chance for her to have something this summer that didn't suck. Isn't that sweet?
LawBreakR: Is that okay, Car? Because if it isn't, I'll kick her pregnant a.s.s to the curb, no problemo. She doesn't know yet.
Lipstickgrrrrl: LOL, Lila!!! U guys!!!! I don't care if Jennifer comes 2. If Lila has forgiven her, I certainly can.
LawBreakR: Phew!
MerylM: Told you so, Lila.
Lipstickgrrrrl: I'm calling U now. I want all the details. Can U do a three-way call?
MerylM: No need. We're both at my house. I'm on my laptop, Lila's on the family desktop.
Lipstickgrrrrl: Is the line free?
LawBreakR: All yours, baby!
Lipstickgrrrrl: Call U in a sec.
After I got off the phone with Lila and Meryl, I ran into the main room of the dance studio and executed a jump of my own. It was probably an egregious violation of dance rules the world over, but I didn't care. I felt like I'd leapt ten feet off the ground and hung there, suspended on the power of happiness alone.
Joaquin, stretching against the wall, laughed. "What was that for?"
I twirled my way over until he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Amazing kisser, that boy. He made the rest of the world fall away with those lips. When we broke apart, I said, "My best friends are coming here in two weeks to see the show."
And then I burst into tears.
Tears!
I know, strange, huh?
I give Joaquin huge props for simply holding me and letting me cry it out when he didn't even know what it was about. When my sobs had slowed to hiccups, he caressed one palm down the back of my hair and kissed my temple. "Want to talk about it?"
I nodded against his chest, and we sat down on the hardwood floor, backs against the mirror, knees pulled up. How could I even verbalize this? "It's a combination of things, I guess."
"Tell me. Just try."
"I'm homesick," I said, tossing him an apologetic sidelong glance. "And on the other hand, I never want to leave the city. Or you, actually. I want to be in White Peaks with my friends, and I want to be in the city with you. Both of those make me feel guilty."
"I get that."
"I miss my friends so much, but when I leave..."
"Yeah?"
"I'll miss you," I said, in a shaky whisper, and the tears returned. "I almost can't take it. You're like a part of me. What am I going to do all year without you, 'Quin?"
"Ay, mamita"-he pulled me against his side, and I rested my head on his shoulder-"I'll miss you, too. So much. But we'll be fine. We'll work through it."
"Promise?" I sniffed. "You won't find some other unpaid makeup lackey to take my place?"
He chuckled. "Swear."
"But we'll be so far apart." I peered up at him through wet lashes. "You know what they say about long-distance relations.h.i.+ps."
"We're different, baby. And it's only for one school year. When two people are soul mates, distance doesn't mean jack. We can visit, call." He pressed a fist against his chest. "No one could take your place here, Caressa."
My heart thumped. "Is that enough, though? Calls? A visit or two?"
"For us to both finish high school, reach for our goals? Yes. We can handle it. Te amo, Caressa," Joaquin said, lifting my chin gently so he could kiss my lips. "I love you, don't you know that?"
Everything inside me got all swirly and warm. I felt magnetized toward him like I'd never been to another person. Ever. "I love you, too." We kissed some more, gently at first, but bursting with a tornado of emotions. The more we kissed, the more urgent we both became, until Joaquin was breathing heavily and I was clutching at him like I'd never done with any guy. I loved the salty dance taste of him, the sleek firmness of his muscles, the way he made me feel about me.
I wanted him. Yeah, like that. The knowledge struck me like a lightning bolt, but it was true.
As if sensing my thoughts, Joaquin pulled back and searched my face. After a moment, he stood up in one graceful move and crossed the room. He locked the studio door and turned back toward me with a private smile.
I started to think Thomas shouldn't be quite so sure about leaving Joaquin and me to our own devices after all. But right then it didn't matter, and I was so glad he had. Joaquin loved me, and I loved him. Truly, madly, all the way to our souls. Which is why, when he returned to my side and reached for me, I went willingly into his arms knowing exactly what was going to happen and ready for it.
Sometimes you just know when something's perfect.
Chapter Fourteen.
Meryl If this strange summer has taught me one thing, it's that you can't plan the future. Well, let me qualify that. You can and should make plans, set goals, visualize-all that's important.
What's the old saying?
A dream without a plan is just a wish?
Something along those lines. But the point is, no matter how carefully you map out your moves ahead of time, sometimes life just steps in and scrambles up the pieces on your game board, like a bratty little brother knocking over the chess set one move prior to your ultimate checkmate.
It's not bad. It just is.
Lila and I, as it turns out, are living proof.
Case in point: I'd planned on hanging out with my very first boyfriend, Ismet (of course), working at Inner Power (of course), and learning Bosnian. Lila had planned on spending lots of time with her very first boyfriend, Dylan, interspersed with a questionable plot to break up Chloe and her dad.
But how were we actually spending our "lazy days of summer"?
Lila was working for-and becoming quite chummy with-said enemy, Chloe. No recent mention whatsoever of breaking up her and Chief Moreno, I might add, a topic I wasn't going to raise. I think she'd changed her mind, which was great if it was true. Chloe and Lila's dad are perfect for each other, and as an outsider, I can see that. Lila did hang out with Dylan just as I hung out with Ismet-in fact, the four of us hung out together a lot-but not as much as I suspect either of us had planned to.
Still, it was fine.
Likewise, I was, indeed, working at Inner Power and making a good enough dent in learning Bosnian that I could keep up with most of the conversations in the Hadziahmetovic household. They all speak English, of course, but I'd asked them to speak only Bosnian in front of me, and they'd obliged.
All that aside, Lila's and my main focus for the season had unexpectedly s.h.i.+fted 180 degrees and sent us off in a direction we could never have antic.i.p.ated, not in a million years. Our carefully constructed plans had changed from a purely Guys and Goals deal to an emotion-packed and fully unexpected Girl Power agenda.
All because of Jennifer Hamilton. Of all people.
Irony in action, that's for sure.
Former enemy turned...friend? Something within the friend arena at least. I don't think she'd ever be one of the Three Amigas (and not just because there would be four of us, rendering the name obsolete), but we'd all gotten to know each other a lot better and gained a ton of mutual respect. Plus, I never wanted enemies in the first place, nor do I think Lila or I did anything whatsoever to deserve them.
Bottom line, sometimes we girls simply have to stick together through the hard times, and there had been a lot of those this summer, especially for Jennifer.
Ismet understood. Dylan got it, too.
Lila and I were starting to catch on as well.
It's just funny how things work out.
I'd been proud of Lila for letting go of her grudges, but when she told me she'd gone so far as to invite Jennifer to a sleepover to celebrate her birthday-just the three of us-I was so stunned I'd had to slump down onto the floor to gather my wits. Right there in the middle of Inner Power, too.