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Hannah rinsed out the dishtowel and hung it over the wooden rod inside her back door, watching the two women in the buckboard through her kitchen window. They were only talking, and she couldn't hear their words, but she didn't need to. She was watching their faces. Jessie had that solemn, serious expression on her face, the one Thaddeus had worn when he was working his way up to proposing, and Kate gazed at Jessie the way every young woman in love looks at her beau. Hannah wondered why she wasn't more surprised by it. She supposed it was because she had lived more than half her life on the frontier, and she had learned that city ways didn't count for much out there. There were women without husbands due to famine or fancy or fate, and they did what they had to do to get by. Some married for safety, forgoing love; some stepped up when widowed to fill their men's shoes, managing families and farms on their own; and some came west with no intention of being anybody's wife right from the start. Living close to the bone, with death a constant shadow, you learned fast to take what goodness life sent your way when you could, because sorrow was just over the horizon.
She looked at the two of them and couldn't see much harm to the caring. She sighed, wondering what Martha might think if she was ever to be faced with it.
"Hannah," Kate said breathlessly as she came through the door, "I'm so sorry I'm so late. I met Jessie and-"
Hannah smiled, shus.h.i.+ng her with a shake of her head. "That's fine, Kate. I like your company, and I'm always happy to see you, but you don't need to feel obliged to spend your time over here. I don't expect there's anything you'll need to know that you won't find out when the time comes."
Kate nodded, only half-listening as she watched Jessie untie her horse from the back of the buckboard and prepare to leave. Every movement of her graceful hands reminded Kate of the way they had felt on her body, and her head grew light with the memory. Jessie swung into the saddle, turned to the house, her eyes searching for Kate, and then she was gone with one last smile. Kate finally turned away to find Hannah regarding her speculatively. Kate's face flamed because she was certain that Hannah could read every thought.
Hannah pulled a tray of biscuits from the oven, sliding the metal onto a cooling stone on the counter. "Jessie Forbes is a fine young woman. Works hard and turns an honest profit," she remarked, her back to Kate.
"Yes," Kate said cautiously.
Hannah wiped her hands on her ap.r.o.n as she turned to regard Kate steadily. "Next time you should invite her in for a drink before she has to ride all that dusty way back to the ranch."
Kate struggled for words, and finally whispered, "Thank you, Hannah."
"You're a sight for sore eyes, Montana," Mae said as she stepped up to the bar beside Jessie. "Seems I only see you when someone's plugged you full of holes."
Jessie grinned sheepishly. "h.e.l.lo, Mae. I was hoping you'd be around.
Mae studied her quizzically. "The sun's just set, Jess. The varmints won't be out for a while, so I'm not busy. Why don't you come sit down and tell me what brings you into town in the middle of the week."
"How about you let me buy you dinner?" Jessie countered, wanting company. She had resisted going home because she knew the house would rattle with loneliness, and she already ached for Kate.
"I believe I'll take you up on that," Mae said, threading her arm through Jessie's. When they had moved into the dining room, she once again regarded Jessie curiously. She didn't think she'd ever seen Jessie look moody before. "What're you fretting about, Montana?"
"Hmm? Oh! Why nothing, Mae," Jessie said quickly, blus.h.i.+ng. She'd been thinking about waking up and feeling Kate's hands on her thighs, and about the way Kate knew just how to touch her in those spots that set her head to spinning, and how just when she didn't think she could stand another second without some part of her bursting, Kate had done just the right thing and she had exploded. Remembering it brought the feelings back so strongly she almost gasped.
Mae leaned back in her chair, watching a flood of emotions play across Jessie's expressive features. How Jess ever managed to win at poker, she didn't know, because Jessie's face was an open book. And what Mae saw there made her heart sink. Jessie's eyes were a little hazy, and her skin was flushed under her tan. Her body almost quivered. Mae thought she could feel the heat radiating from her. Jessie Forbes looked like a woman who had been well loved, and recently.
Mae knew better than to ask, because Jessie was too honorable to tell. She said casually instead, "What brings you in here today, Jess?"
"I drove Kate Beecher over to the Schroeders'," Jessie replied. She wanted to tell Mae about the extraordinary thing that had happened to her, but she barely had words for it herself. Plus, it was so intensely personal, so special, that she couldn't imagine sharing the details with anyone. "She was out my way and it was getting late."
"Visiting was she?" Mae probed.
Jessie smiled, and nodded faintly. "Yes."
"How nice," Mae remarked coolly. She hoped that Kate knew what she was doing, because she was willing to bet that Jessie didn't. From the looks of her, she was too far gone already to see trouble coming.
"Well, Jess," Mae said softly, laying her hand on Jessie arm. "You know you've always got a friend here if you ever need one."
Jessie looked at her quizzically, then took Mae's fingers lightly in hers. "I'll remember, Mae."
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO.
KATE, HER HAIR whipping behind her in the breeze, turned the buckboard expertly through the gates of the Rising Star ranch and looked expectantly toward the house. Her skin tingled with the familiar excitement that accompanied each visit. The sun had never felt so good, nor the air so clear. She pulled into the yard just as Jessie came out onto the porch. Kate drew a breath, seeing her again as if for the first time, only now her body held the memory of Jessie's caresses, and that alone was enough to stir her. She stepped onto the running board, her eyes dancing with happiness and the first awakening of desire, as Jessie crossed the ground in quick eager strides.
"Kate!" Jessie cried, her hands on Kate's waist, swinging her down from the wagon exuberantly.
Kate laughed aloud and wrapped her arms around Jessie's neck, her lips searching for Jessie's as her feet touched the ground. They stood together under the bright morning sky, lost in their embrace, as carefree as they would ever be.
After a moment, Jessie pulled her head back, flushed and breathless. "Kate," she admonished teasingly. "I thought you wanted shooting lessons."
Kate knew from the way Jessie's hands strayed over her and the hoa.r.s.e tone of her voice that Jessie's mind was not on the plans they had made. Kate pressed her lips warmly against the tanned triangle of skin bared by Jessie's s.h.i.+rt and sighed contentedly.
"I did, until just a moment ago," Kate murmured. She marveled at the way Jessie's touch aroused her. Even hours after she returned home, she still tingled where Jessie's hands and lips had stroked her. She had never imagined love would feel like this. That love would be a thing of the mind and the heart, yes. But the wanting! This was something so unexpected she could think of little else.
"We'd better go now or I won't let you away for hours," Kate said reluctantly, but her tone was unconvincing. Even more telling was the rapid rise and fall of her chest as her breath grew short.
Jessie didn't let her go, but moved her lips close to Kate's ear instead. "We can always go later," she murmured, very aware of the trembling in her legs. "And I don't think I can ride." She kissed the sweet skin of Kate's neck, and they both groaned. "I'm about to forget myself altogether."
Kate pushed her away, but her fingers brushed lightly over Jessie's b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Inside the house," she whispered, watching Jessie's color rise and her pupils grow large. "Quickly."
They made it to the bottom of the staircase before Jessie grabbed Kate and pressed her to the wall, her hands searching for the ties on Kate's dress. She had her hands inside Kate's bodice an instant later, lifting her b.r.e.a.s.t.s free of their restraints.
"Lord, Kate," Jessie groaned as she lowered her lips to Kate's hardening nipples, "I've missed you so."
Kate struggled to stand as a flood of arousal threatened to take her legs from under her. Her head fell back against the wall and she curled her fingers in Jessie's hair, pressing Jessie's face to her body. Jessie's tongue was on her, kindling a fire that spread downwards with unchecked abandon. It was always like this, and never the same. Jessie's desire inflamed her and every ounce of her body responded. She quickened in a heartbeat and teetered on the brink of dissolving for long agonizing, wonderful moments, crying Jessie's name, begging for her to touch her.
Jessie sensed Kate's pa.s.sion rising and her caresses became more insistent. Kate trembled against her and there was a desperate edge in her voice. With effort Jessie raised her lips from the sweet warmth of Kate's breast, gasping, "Wait, Kate. Let me take you to bed."
Kate managed to open her eyes and shook her head, her hands twisting in Jessie's s.h.i.+rt. Her eyes were huge dark pools of yearning. "No," she choked. "No. Now. Now, please."
"Help me," Jessie demanded urgently, fired by Kate's need. She lifted the light cotton of Kate's dress for Kate to hold and knelt on the stairs before her. Gently she pulled the final barriers aside and leaned forward, kissing the very center of Kate's desire. Kate jerked against her and cried out. Jessie closed her eyes, her arms around Kate's hips, supporting her. She listened to Kate as she caressed her, tracing the soft swell of engorged tissues with her tongue, sucking gently while Kate sobbed with pleasure. She followed the rhythm and call of Kate's need, losing herself for long moments in the scent and taste of her while Kate's hands fluttered over her face, leading her to the places that made Kate moan. She felt Kate grow and harden under her tongue and knew without telling that the end was coming. She continued to stroke her as Kate arched against her mouth, feeling her own heart stop as Kate's pulse beat wildly under her lips.
Jessie caught Kate as she was about to fall, standing quickly and gathering her into her arms. She kissed Kate fiercely, still inflamed by the same heat that had consumed Kate. Her breath tore from her chest as she desperately pressed her hips into Kate.
"Kate," she groaned, barely able to see. "I-I need-" Her voice trailed off into a strangled sob as she buried her face against Kate's shoulder, shuddering.
"I know," Kate crooned, lightly caressing Jessie's fevered face. "I know." She slipped her hand between them, squeezing her palm to the soft material between Jessie's legs, cupping her. She smiled as Jessie moaned. Quickly, she pulled each b.u.t.ton free, working her fingers under the material to find the warmth waiting for her. As Kate squeezed the firm length of her, Jessie swayed, weak with the pleasure of it. Kate met each thrust of Jessie's hips with an answering pressure until Jessie stiffened and cried out. When Jessie trembled in Kate's arms, Kate laughed faintly, glorying in her.
Jessie carried their picnic basket to the buckboard, Kate walking close beside her. Kate's fingers rested lightly on her arm. Jessie's body still tingled with the excitement they had just shared. She grinned as she helped Kate up onto the seat.
"What?" Kate asked fondly, noting her expression.
"Just happy," Jessie answered, swinging up beside her. "Trying to figure out what I ever did to deserve you."
Kate moved her hand to Jessie's thigh, leaning against her as Jessie started the horses out of the yard. "You're just you," Kate said quietly, "and you don't ever have to do anything except love me."
Jessie glanced at her, suddenly serious. "I will, Kate. Always."
Kate snuggled closer, still languorous from their loving, and smiled contentedly. Jessie drove slowly through the lowlands and hills of her property, stopping frequently to point things out to the ever-curious Kate. Jessie took her to see the summer grazing lands, sprinkled with wandering herds of horses, and the out cabins where she and the men stayed during branding times and roundups. From a hilltop overlooking impossibly green meadows, Jessie indicated the steeply rising mountains that bordered her land to the west.
"Those peaks are a natural protection for the highland meadows where the horses winter, Kate. When it starts to frost in the fall, we round up all the young and any pregnant mares and bring them down to that small canyon I showed you earlier. If the winter is really bad, they can't forage, and we feed them."
"Oh, Jessie!" Kate exclaimed, awed by the scope of it all. "It's so beautiful. You must love it very much!"
Jessie took Kate's hand and brought it to her lips. "I never thought I could love anything more. Until you."
Kate slipped her arm around Jessie's waist and rested her head on Jessie's shoulder, stroking Jessie's arm through the soft cotton of her s.h.i.+rt. She thought how much she loved her simple strength and gentle heart. "Jessie," she murmured softly.
Jessie kissed her temple. "What?"
"I don't want things to ever change."
Jessie was quiet so long that Kate leaned away to look at her face. "What's wrong?" Kate asked.
"I can't stand being apart from you so much, Kate," Jessie admitted at last, her voice low and tight. "I want us to lie down together at night and sleep side by side. I want to wake up with you." She looked at Kate, her eyes troubled. "I want- well - If I was a man, I'd want to marry you."
Kate's heart turned over. "Oh, Jessie," she breathed. "I love you."
Jessie searched Kate's face, finding all the courage she needed in Kate's tender gaze. "I want you to come live with me, Kate. Will you?"
It was Kate's turn to be silent. When she spoke, her tone was anguished. "I want to. I want to be with you, married or not, for all my life." She stroked Jessie's cheek, her throat so tight she could barely speak. "But I don't know how."
"If you want to, Kate, that's all that matters to me. We'll figure it out," Jessie said, turning her head and kissing Kate's palm. "We've got time."
She climbed down and reached up for Kate. "Now, how about we give you that shooting lesson."
Kate tried not to think of anything else as Jessie stood behind her, occasionally wrapping her arms around her to steady the Winchester, whispering encouragement in her ear. She even managed to hit the targets Jessie picked out now and then, but she couldn't quite rid herself of thoughts of confronting her parents. How would she explain her desire to be with Jessie? How could she make them see that it was all she lived for? And what would she do if they refused?
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.
SUMMER GREW SHORT and the fall days were upon them before they knew it. Jessie's joy at returning home after hours on the range to unexpectedly find Kate quietly reading on the porch or preparing a meal in the kitchen was undiminished by the pa.s.sage of time. Their love was simple and pure, and they grew closer as surely and naturally as two branches on the same tree, drawing nourishment from the same spring. The moments they spent together, talking and loving, were precious, bringing Jessie more happiness than she had dared dream of only a few months before. Still, she found herself wanting more.
There were days, sometimes even a week or more, between Kate's visits, and during those times, Jessie suffered from more than loneliness. She couldn't help but think of Ken Turner, who she knew still paid court to Kate. It tormented her to think that he might touch Kate, when she could not even arrive unannounced at Kate's door asking only for the pleasure of sitting by Kate's side. Each time she walked Kate to the buckboard and watched her drive away or rode with her to the edge of town, it was harder to let her go. The nights when she lay down alone were colder and longer than any she could ever recall. She was lonely in a way she never had been before, because now there were places in her heart that only Kate could fill.
"Kate?" Jessie asked one late afternoon, lying naked with Kate in her arms under a heavy quilt while a fire burned in the hearth in Jessie's bedroom. Kate's back was to her front, and she buried her face in Kate's thick hair, smoothing her hands slowly over Kate's stomach until she cupped Kate's b.r.e.a.s.t.s in her hands.
Kate stilled Jessie's movement, pressing her palms over Jessie's hands. "I can't think when you do that," Kate admonished lightly, but there was no disapproval in her tone. She loved Jessie's hands on her. "What is it?"
Jessie sighed, closing her eyes, trying to shut out every sensation but Kate. She couldn't, as much as she wished to. "Winter comes early out here, Kate. It will snow soon."
"Yes," Kate said quietly, her grip on Jessie's hands tightening. She waited.
"It's not safe for you to come here any longer," Jessie continued, each word feeling like it was taking a piece of her heart with it. "You could be caught in a blizzard and freeze to death quicker than a minute."
"I can't stay away," Kate whispered. "I can't be without you." She couldn't imagine a week, let alone the long months of winter, separated from her.
Jessie tightened her arms around her, pulling Kate even closer. "I can't have anything happening to you, Kate," she murmured. "I'm not made strong enough for that. Promise me you won't drive out here alone again."
Kate nodded. She knew Jessie was right, and she would never worry her even though it would kill her to go all winter without seeing her. She turned within the circle of Jessie's arms, searching Jessie's face, seeing the misery in her eyes. "We must find another way." She sought Jessie's mouth, kissing her lightly at first, then with a sudden hunger. She drew away with a small cry. "I won't be without you."
"I'll come into town when I can," Jessie ventured. "Maybe you could come to the hotel?" Even as she said it, she knew that it was impossible. The weather was unpredictable at best in the foothills of the Rockies, and even if she could leave the ranch, how would she even get a message to Kate to let her know that she had come? And meeting at the hotel? Impossible. There was no way that they could ever keep that fact from Kate's parents for long. Plus, part of her resisted the idea of meeting Kate for an afternoon's pa.s.sion, as if that was all there was between them. She never tired of feeling Kate close to her, or of loving her for hours on end, but she took just as much joy in raising her eyes from some piece of work to find Kate sitting nearby with a book in her hands.
"I must speak to my parents," Kate said quietly, knowing the time had come. She could not go on indefinitely avoiding Ken Turner's persistent demands, nor could she pretend to her parents that her reluctance was only because she was not certain that she wished to be his wife. Having lain with Jessie, she could never be any man's wife. Jessie was her heart. "I'll make them understand."
"I'll come with you," Jessie said firmly, moving to get up. "They'll never need worry for your safety nor your care, not as long as I live, nor after either. I owe them the comfort of knowing that."
"Wait," Kate cried, holding her fast. "We have time before I need to be back." She stretched out in Jessie's arms, her legs entwining naturally with those of her taller lover. "I'll not let go of you yet."
Jessie smiled, turning them so Kate lay beneath her, and lowered herself gently upon her. Her chest filled with an almost unbearable sensation of tenderness and wonder, and she set about showing Kate just how much she cherished her. With her lips, with her mouth, with her work roughened hands turned to velvet on Kate's sweet skin, she told her. Her kisses carried the promises and her touch the certainty that she so often had no words to express. I will love you, Jessie's caresses vowed, with all my being, for all my life. You are my reason and my answer and my purpose, her fingers pledged, each knowing stroke carrying Kate closer to fulfillment.
"I love you, Kate, I love you," she finally whispered, her face pressed to Kate's neck, as Kate arched under her, an inarticulate moan escaping her throat.