Broken Shield Part 1

Broken s.h.i.+eld.

by Isabella.

Summary.

Tyler Jackson, former paramedic now firefighter, has seen her share of death up close. The death of her wife caused Tyler to rethink her career choices, but the death of her mother two weeks later cemented her return to the ranks of firefighter. Her path of self-destruction and womanizing is just a front to hide the heartbreak and devastation she lives with every day. Tyler given up on finding love and having the family she's always wanted. When tragedy strikes her life for a second time she finds something she thought she lost.

Ashley Henderson loves her job. Ignoring her mother's advice, she opts for a career in law enforcement. But, Ashley hides a secret that soon turns her life upside down. Shame, guilt and fear keep Ashley from venturing forward and finding the love she so desperately craves. Her life comes cras.h.i.+ng down around her in one swift moment forcing her to come clean about her secrets and her life.

Can two women thrust together by one traumatic event survive and find love together, or will their past force them apart?

Broken s.h.i.+eld is an unflinching look at the lives behind the uniforms of those sworn to serve and save lives. When the rescuer needs rescuing, what then? Isabella offers up a tale of courage, redemption and love that you will not soon forget. Edgy. Filled with raw emotion. I was hooked from the first line.

20 years in public safety makes me generally skeptical about the way police and fire characters are portrayed in a fictional setting. Isabella delivers in Broken s.h.i.+eld.

-Lynette Mae, author of, Faithful Service, Silent Hearts and Tactical Pursuit, coming in 2012.

Acknowledgements.

Thank you to the beta readers. Lee Fitzsimmons, her nursing skills proved invaluable, as well as the sage advice she gave throughout. Lynette Mae, for her encouragement and her law enforcement expertise. Terry Baker, whose feedback is much appreciated. I can't thank you enough for your suggestions. Finally, Peggy Adams, thanks for making those last little catches, you're wonderful.

To Ilene, the best editor I've ever worked with. Thank you for making me think. Your honest feedback made the book better.

Finally, this is dedicated to all those that put on a badge and put their lives on the line to keep us safe. I am forever in your debt.

My heart, my love, and my world have room for only one woman, Schileen. If I am lucky, the last thing I will see when I take my final breath, will be your beautiful brown eyes. Your lips, the last kiss I taste and your voice, the last song I hear.

Mi Amor, Schileen!.

Prologue.

Tyler sat cross-legged in the riverbed and looked down at the chrome deliverance cradled in her hands. The smell of honeysuckle drifted through the air. It enveloped Tyler as she contemplated what had brought her to this instance in time. It was ironic that she had picked a river bottom to sit in. Lately, it felt like every step Tyler took was like walking through quicksand. The struggle to move forward only added to her resolve to do what needed to be done today.

Thinking about Jill, tears began streaming down her face falling in little pools on her s.h.i.+rt. Tyler had stopped trying to control the tears weeks ago. They made her feel weak and she had finally just succ.u.mbed to the weakness. She had been so strong for so long, never once did she cry. She didn't want to be weak, not when she had been so strong. Remembering the day she lost Jill, Tyler's body curled under the memory.

She and her partner had been dispatched to an officer down call. Everyone in the city responded to the scene, including the fire department. Coming on scene, Tyler and her partner had to wind their way around a dozen police vehicles that were already there. Tyler's focus was clear, get to the victim, a.s.sess the situation, and save their life. She had done it a hundred times. This time, a set of hands stopped her progress to the group of officers circling the officer who lay on the ground. Tyler could barely see between their legs as the group s.h.i.+fted to let her partner through. Blood was pooling around the navy uniform, an arm stretched out in the middle of it.

"Tyler, stop. I can't let you go in there," Jill's partner, Kelly said, stopping Tyler's further progress.

"Kelly, I need to get in there. What the f.u.c.k are you doing?" Tyler looked down at the hands on her chest and then up at her friend's face. Realization hit her.

"It's Jill, Tyler."

"No," Tyler whispered. Her resolve to get to her wife pushed her past Kelly. "Mike?"

Tyler looked at her partner, watching as he was halfway through his routine. The blood pressure cuff hung from Jill's arm. Pointing to her wife's stomach, he ordered Tyler to apply pressure to the blood soaked gauze under his hand. Tyler's legs felt as if they would buckle any minute so she dropped to her knees on the other side of her wife's body.

The pale color of Jill's skin terrified Tyler as she pushed hard on the blood soaked gauze. Blood oozed between her fingers as she called for more gauze. Slipping her arm under Jill's head, she lowered her head to whisper in Jill's ear.

"Baby, you're gonna be fine."

Jill slowly opened her eyes to look at her lover.

"I love you, Baby," she whispered.

"I love you, too." Tyler tightened her hold on Jill's slight body.

"Be strong."

"I can't."

"You have to. Promise me," Jill said looking up at Tyler.

Tyler could only nod as she gently caressed Jill's face. Bending down and kissing her lips, Tyler savored what looking back now, would be the last time they kissed. Resting her head against Jill's, she felt Jill take one last shuddered breath and relax. The silence around the couple was deafening. No one moved. Tyler gently rocked Jill, refusing to believe her wife was dead.

"Do something, Mike. Don't just sit there," Tyler said, laying Jill down. "Get the paddles." Tyler began chest compressions. "One, two, three ..."

Mike stood and pulled Tyler back. "Ty, there's nothing we can do. She's gone."

"No, she's not gone until they call it at the hospital. Now, get back there and do your job, d.a.m.nit."

"Tyler." Kelly grabbed Tyler's shoulders and pulled her away. "Tyler, you did everything you could."

"No, Kelly..." Tyler whispered in desperation, "I can't lose her."

"I know, Honey." Tears pooled in Kelly's eyes as she held Tyler.

Tragedy would quickly play itself out again in Tyler's life. Two weeks later, a similar scene occurred as she rolled on a motor vehicle accident. This time though, it would be Tyler holding her father as they both stood strong in their grief. Her mother had been hit head-on when a driver feel asleep at the wheel. Molly Jackson was the pillar of the Jackson family. She raised a family of firefighters and carried on the stoic tradition of a woman who accepted tragedy as a part of the firefighter lifestyle. Tyler's mother was her rock when Jill died. She had helped Tyler plan the funeral, held Tyler when she thought she might crumble at Jill's funeral, and waited and watched as Tyler bore her grief silently. Molly's death was the final brick of an already weighty load that pushed Tyler over the edge.

Now, Tyler sat looking down the barrel of what would bring Jill and her back together. She spun the cylinder, hypnotically watching the silver tips as they made their circular journey to their new location. Tyler had thought she could deal with the pain but she now knew she was wrong. Every morning she woke up and pulled Jill's pillow to her face, breathing in her scent. But she never cried. She was strong, just as she had promised. Today though, Tyler would break that promise. Would Jill be mad when we see each other again or would she understand? Tyler wondered.

Tyler put the barrel in her mouth and her fillings tingled. The sight on the end of the barrel hit the roof of Tyler's mouth as she slid the gun back further. Her tongue caressed the smooth barrel as she closed her mouth. Closing her eyes and squeezing them shut, Tyler felt the last of the tears roll down her face. The ridges of the hammer gently bit into her thumb as she clicked it back. The first click rang in Tyler's ears, the second click alerting her that the painful journey through life was almost over.

As she sat there Jill's smiling face flashed in Tyler's mind, her laugh echoed in her ears, and Tyler felt Jill's arms wrap around her body.

"Baby, please be strong," was whispered in Tyler's ear.

I can't, I just can't. I'm sorry. A warm soft breath caressed her neck as Tyler took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Brinnggg, brinnngg.

Tyler's cell phone went off in her jacket pocket. She didn't want to answer it. Tyler was on a mission and it didn't matter anymore who called. Reaching in, Tyler pulled it out and pushed the end b.u.t.ton. Without thinking, Tyler looked down and saw a message from her father. Pulling the gun out of her mouth she tapped the screen.

"s.h.i.+t."

Tears began streaming down her face again as she read the message.

Happy Birthday, Honey. I know you're going through a tough time, but I just wanted you to know I love you. Don't forget dinner tonight, love Dad.

Chapter One.

One year later.

Hey, Sarg. What do we have?" Captain Russo asked the police sergeant on the scene. The two story wooden structure was fully engulfed by the time Engine Company Three got to the residence on Harcourt drive.

"Hey, Captain. We might have someone inside the residence," the officer said, quickly jotting down notes for his report.

"No s.h.i.+t? In that?" Captain Russo pointed to the red-hot structure.

"Well, the neighbor over there called it in about ten minutes ago. He said he heard a popping noise, went to check it out and saw the house smoking. The neighbor looked around and said by the time he got over to it, one of the windows in the back blew out. So he ran back and called 911," the sergeant said. "He said that he thought the parents had left for the weekend, but that there might be one of the teenagers home. He couldn't be sure."

"Thanks," Captain Russo said over his shoulder, as he walked over to a group of firefighters checking their oxygen tanks and helmets. "Ok everyone, we might have people inside, but we're not sure. You three-" pointing to the three closest to him, "You get the job of trying to see if anyone is inside. Remember, everyone goes in alive and you all come out the same way. I don't want anyone taking any unnecessary risks. You got me?" yelled the captain over the fire raging behind him.

"The rest of you, help finish laying down the lines from the street to the pumper and let's get this baby out," he said as the Fire Chief approached.

Captain Russo went about explaining the situation to the chief and discussed the possibility of people inside. Because of the blown out windows, the captain knew the fire was going to accelerate quickly. It was getting the oxygen it needed to burn hotter and quicker. He knew this would put his people at greater risk, but he didn't have a choice. He had to send them in.

So far, the fire looked as though it was limited to the first floor of the house, with smoke starting to billow out through the windows and doors. The flames licked out the windows and doorframes, causing the firefighters that entered the house to drop down to the ground immediately.

"John, I'm gonna take the right side of the downstairs first," said Tyler. She reached up to flick on the mag light taped to her helmet.

"J.J., you start on the right hand side of the upstairs. When we're done we'll join you up there," Tyler directed, kneeling down to start the job of looking for people.

"Okay, I'll take the back end of the house. Then we meet back here and go up to the second floor, together Tyler. Got it?" J.J. breathed into his headset.

"Got it."

Taking a quick survey of the burning left side of the house, they split up, reaching out for anything that might look like a person. The smoke was already so thick that it left only two feet above the floor for the firefighters to maneuver in safely. Since no one had told them what age the occupants might be, the firefighters checked every closet, piece of furniture and cabinet to make sure a child wasn't trying to hide to avoid the smoke.

"Clear on this side, John," Tyler said into her mic.

"Good, clear back there, too," John replied.

Making their way back to the entryway, the firefighters were getting ready to go up the stairs when they heard a huge crash. Looking back into the already engulfed room, they saw the source of the crash. The ceiling had come down and the fire was burning through to the second floor. A bathtub, toilet and sink fell through the floor, barely missing them.

"s.h.i.+t, John, we gotta hurry. If someone is up there, we might have just lost them," shouted Tyler over the penetrating sound of the flames working up the walls.

Outside, the fire crews worked to control the fire, while the police set up lines to keep the local residents back. This was an older part of the city with wide streets and big wooden houses. The kind of established neighborhood where everyone knew each other and spoke regularly. It wasn't surprising to see all the neighbors, and a few who didn't belong, watching the action.

Ashley Henderson knew this neighborhood well. She grew up in the upper middle cla.s.s neighborhood, so it was difficult to see one of the old homes going up in flames. Her mom lived nearby and had probably heard the sirens. Ashley made a mental note to go over and let her mom know what was going on before she left the scene to write her report. Her mom would probably be surprised to see her, since Ashley usually didn't work this side of town. But she had requested a change in her patrol, and this was her new a.s.signment. She proceeded to finish taping down the scene when Lt. Connors came over.

"Officer Henderson, I want you to make sure the residents stay back. And keep everyone out of the way of the equipment. We still have EMT coming, just in case anyone gets hurt, as well as another engine company since it's now a two alarm," Lt. Connors advised. "Oh, and welcome to your new patrol area. I hear you grew up here?"

"Thanks, yeah just a couple of blocks over. My mom still lives there," she replied, realizing he would eventually wonder why a rich kid like her would want to be a police officer. She recognized the look the officer gave her when her words sank in. Shrugging it off, Ashley went about finis.h.i.+ng the barricade. Both officers glanced back at the house when they heard the loud crash come from inside.

"I hope that wasn't one of our guys going down in there," he stated matter-of-factly.

"What would one of our people be doing in there?" Ashley questioned, concerned that a police officer would risk their life in a burning building.

"When I say 'one of our guys' I mean one of our firefighters. We're all public servants. You know-A brotherhood of sorts," Lieutenant Connors said, fondly acknowledging the professional courtesy police and firefighters extended to one another.

"Gotcha," said Ashley.

She'd had few dealings with most of the local firefighters. Ashley worked mostly vice and gangs in her short career, but met a few firefighters when a bust went south and the John got hurt. Her bachelor's degree was in computer science, so her superiors felt that Ashley was more valuable working behind a computer than in a patrol car. She had spent a lot of her time establis.h.i.+ng a database for the department of all the gangs and gang members in the city. Her work made it easier to track those members and what they were involved in. The move to vice was a welcome change when it was offered.

Vice, on the other hand, had been fun for her. Ashley worked catching Johns and drug dealers. Her "good looks" made her an easy choice, according to her captain. She didn't disagree outright, but she never really felt attractive. She wouldn't have picked a vice a.s.signment if it hadn't been for one of her peers getting pregnant. The department was desperate to find someone when prost.i.tutes started being a.s.saulted, so she volunteered to help out. Her offer was really made tongue-in-cheek to a friend in the department, but word got back to the bra.s.s and the next thing she knew, she was a "working girl". After that a.s.signment though, she was ready for patrol duty.

Looking back at the burning structure, she wondered what type of individual would volunteer to walk into a burning building.

The two-story structure was starting to burn through the exterior on the north side and the captain was starting to worry about the firefighters inside.

"Ok, you three. I want you to start working your way out of that structure. We have the left side of the exterior engulfed and it won't be long before the whole thing is fully engulfed. So get your a.s.ses out of there now," he yelled into his headset.

"Roger Captain. I am starting to work my way out," shouted J.J. into his headset. He had covered the left side of the upstairs and had found nothing. The smoke was starting to choke off his vision and make it more difficult to differentiate things. He was working by feel now and knew that he had little time to get back out of the maze he had worked himself into.

"I am almost done on this side, Captain. How about you Tyler? You ready to rock and roll outta here?" asked John as he felt around for his exit.

"Yeah, I'm workin' on it. Man, the smoke is thick as s.h.i.+t up here. Geez, we had better make short work of this search and get the heck outta here. John, be careful of that big hole on your side. I don't want to have to come save your a.s.s again," joked Tyler, trying to maintain communication with the other firefighters.

"Right, like you've had to do that," he chided.

"Don't make me remind you of that fire over on Hillcrest," she said.