Fireflies In December Part 4

I was convinced that Luke would never be weak. To me, he was the strongest man alive, aside from Daddy of course. In the last few weeks, I'd been seeing the world a bit differently. I wasn't sure if it was because I'd turned thirteen or if it was because of what I'd been through with Gemma, but I was starting to feel different. I told Momma as much one day as I helped her hang the wash.

"That's just natural, Jessilyn," she said around the clothespin she was holding in her mouth. "A girl's bound to change when she gets closer to womanhood. It'd be odd if you weren't feelin' different."

"But I ain't been thirteen for even three weeks. It happens that fast?"

Momma finished hanging up my nightgown and turned to smile at me. "Daddy's always tellin' me I change my ways faster than he can keep track. A woman's just like that sometimes."

"But I ain't no woman," I said almost angrily.

"You may not think so, but you're gettin' there, sure enough. I think you just don't see some things as bein' womanly changes."

"Like what?"

Momma turned away and grabbed Daddy's socks to hang before saying, "Oh, like maybe how you're feelin' about Luke Talley."

As much as I knew that Momma probably had an idea of such things, hearing her say it out loud made my cheeks flush red as a beet. "Momma!"

"I ain't sayin' nothin' you didn't already know."

"I don't think nothin' about Luke Talley," I lied. "He's a neighbor, is all."

"Uh-huh," Momma murmured.

"He ain't even close to me in age," I continued to argue, "and I ain't thinkin' about boys that way, anyhow."

"Well, you're right about that. He is older than you." She looked at me and smiled again. "But bein' sweet on a boy ain't the same as wantin' to marry him."

"It don't matter any to me what it means, because I ain't sweet on n.o.body."

It was then that I heard Luke holler a h.e.l.lo as he turned the corner of the lane. I jumped at the sound of his voice and flushed even redder.

"It's just Luke come for supper," Momma said with a grin. "You know, he usually does come by this time of day. You shouldn't be so embarra.s.sed to see him."

"I ain't embarra.s.sed." I turned away from Momma slightly so I could fix my hair without her noticing, but when I turned back around, I found her hanging up my underclothes. "Momma," I whispered, grabbing them from the line. "There ain't no call to be hangin' up my bloomers."

"There you are, Jessie girl," Luke said as he came up behind us. "I brought some stick candy for you and Gemma today."

I tucked my underthings quickly under my arm and without turning around said, "Thank you, Luke. I best be gettin' inside to check on supper." I tore off toward the house without looking back at him and didn't emerge from my room until I'd changed into clean clothes and straightened my hair.

No doubt about it, I was changing.

Chapter 5.

We were on our way to town in the truck, all four of us, with our dog Duke in the back, and everyone was quiet. Momma and Daddy had been that way since their big argument, and I had started wondering if things would ever get back to normal between them.

Gemma still wasn't saying a whole lot, although I had gotten her to start reading with me every night. We'd take turns reading paragraphs, and I figured if it did anything for her, it would get her voice muscles used to working again. I didn't know if they would quit working altogether, but I had always been a big talker, and I couldn't imagine a girl not talking for so long without something quitting on her.

Since everyone else was silent, I didn't say much either.Besides, I was a little worried about heading into town because I knew how the people of Calloway felt about Gemma being with us. At the back of my mind was Momma's talk of how people could get violent about mixing colors. I didn't know what to expect.

At the least, I figured on hearing some talk. Truth was, I didn't care what they said any more than my daddy did, but usually when someone in town did some careless talking, I lost my temper and gave them some words back. And that always got me into trouble with Momma.

I just had a feeling that I'd be getting a tongue-las.h.i.+ng after this trip.

Even Duke was quiet except for when he saw a fox run past the truck. After about ten barks, Daddy shut him up with a holler, and then the rest of the trip was as boring as the first part.

When we got into town, Daddy sent me and Gemma off to the general store with a list so we could do the shopping while Momma got her hair done and Daddy got the farming supplies.

Before we left, Daddy pulled me aside. "Don't let n.o.body push you around, Jessilyn. You hear? Let people say what they say. It don't mean nothin' to us; ain't that right?"

"I don't care if people say things about us." I looked over at Gemma, where she leaned against the truck. "Ain't no reason Gemma shouldn't be treated like anyone else."

"No there ain't, but that won't change the fact that we're gonna hear it from people. Now, you get on in that store, get what you need, and then walk back to the truck. If anyone gives you any trouble, start yellin' your head off for help."

"I ain't never had any trouble yellin' my head off," I replied, coaxing a grin out of him. "We'll be okay." But I felt less confident than I talked, and my heart skipped as I watched Momma and Daddy walk off.

"'Flour, sugar, cornmeal, salt' . . ." I read nervously as Gemma and I walked together. "The same old stuff. I've gotta find me some work so I can get somethin' good when we go shoppin'."

As we walked, I knew we were being stared at. We'd been stared at from the time our truck had pulled along the sidewalk. I just kept talking like nothing was different, hoping my chatter would keep Gemma from noticing the dirty looks we were getting. But my efforts didn't matter at all, I knew. She was a smart girl even if she was quiet these days, and she could sense the hostility as much as I could. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her put her head even lower than it had been. Instinctively I grabbed her arm to support her, but she yanked it away.

"Don't do that," she told me sharply.

I did as she said and stuck my hands in my pockets. I may have been a tough nut to crack most times, but the stares were starting to get to me, making me squirm. It was a first time for me, being watched like that, and it didn't help having Gemma act so harshly.

When we reached the store, Mr. Hanley, the owner, raised an eyebrow at me. "Ain't seen much of you of late, Miss Jessie." Then, being one of the nicest men I knew, he smiled a little at Gemma and said, "Ain't seen much of you lately either, Miss Gemma. I was sure sorry to hear about your momma and daddy."

Gemma nodded, and I chipped in by telling him quietly, "Gemma ain't been much for talkin' lately. But I'm sure she appreciates you thinkin' of her."

Mr. Hanley put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I understand that, no doubt. Now, do you girls have a list?"

While Mr. Hanley put together our order, Gemma stood off in a corner, and I wandered around looking at some dresses. Mr. Hanley gave me a funny look when I stood in front of the mirror, holding a blue dress up in front of me, but he didn't say anything. I felt pretty dumb doing it, but I did like the way I looked behind it.

I heard the bra.s.s bell on the door jingle and put the dress back quickly so as not to be caught looking so vain. Peering over the stack of cans in front of me, my throat tightened. Walt Blevins had come in that door, and if there was anything I knew about Walt, it was that he hated colored people. Some five years before, Walt's daddy had been found dead behind the place Daddy said wasn't fit for good people, and Walt had always said he'd been killed by Sam d.i.c.kerson, a colored man who had worked for my daddy for two years. Even though Daddy insisted that Sam wasn't capable of hurting a fly, Walt wouldn't hear of anything else.

The law hadn't seen it Walt's way, thanks to Sheriff Slater, who was a decent soul, and Walt had made it plain he meant to get whatever vengeance the law wouldn't. In the end, Daddy had helped Sam hightail it out of town before Walt could get hold of him, and that made Walt mad enough to kill.

I well knew he'd use any opportunity to harm our family, and our having Gemma would be a perfect chance for him to stir things up. I glanced at Gemma, where she stood in the corner by the hammers and nails. She couldn't have picked a worse place to stand, I figured, seeing as how Walt was likely to want something like that. I watched from my place behind the cans, hoping Walt wouldn't see either of us.

"What can I do for you, Walt?" Mr. Hanley asked as he finished packing my order. "Need anythin' particular?"

"I'm comin' in for them traps I ordered. Can't keep them critters out of my crops for nothin'."

"Just got them in," Mr. Hanley said as he rechecked my list. I prayed hard that Mr. Hanley would help Walt before he'd finish with me, but it wasn't to be. "Here you go, Miss Jessie," he called, holding the list up in the air. "I've got your order good and filled."

I took a deep breath, and determined not to be intimidated by a big oaf like Walt, I walked around the stack of cans with my head high. "Thank you, Mr. Hanley," I said stoutly as I dug in my pocket for the money Daddy had given me.

Walt watched me for a minute like he was trying to recollect who I was. As I took my change from Mr. Hanley, Walt pointed at me and said, "You're that La.s.siter girl, ain't you?"

"Depends on who's askin'," I charged.

"You sure talk like a La.s.siter."

"Can't say as I noticed."

Mr. Hanley hurriedly brought my sacks around the counter, realizing that trouble could be brewing. "Jessilyn, you need any help carrying these things? I can get Dale to help you out if you need it."

"I'm okay," I told him, taking the bags from him. In truth, they were too heavy for me, and it took all my strength to carry them, but I just smiled as best I could and began walking from the store. On my way out, I caught Gemma's eye and nodded for her to get out the door fast.

But Walt was too interested in me to not see Gemma as we started out the door. "You're the La.s.siter girl, all right. You're the one who took the colored girl in." He snorted and said wickedly, "Just like your daddy to go helpin' worthless n.i.g.g.e.rs."

I whirled around to glare at him, my fear gone on the heels of my anger. Gemma tugged at my arm to get me out, but I was stubborn. "If my daddy were like to help someone worthless, no doubt you'd be first on his list."

"You got a smart tongue on you, girl."

He took a few steps toward me, and as much as I wanted to run, I stood still, almost challenging him. "Ain't nothin' wrong with that."

"There is if it gets you hurt."

"Are you threatenin' me?"

Mr. Hanley walked between us very cautiously. He was a nice man but a weak one, and I knew the last thing he wanted was trouble in his store. "Jessilyn," he said, "why don't you head on out before those sacks get too heavy for you?"

"You should give them sacks to that one," Walt said, referring to Gemma like she wasn't even human. "That's all she's good for anyway."

Now, Daddy had told me time and time again that talking back to people who don't have any sense doesn't make any sense, but I had never learned that lesson. I did try to follow Daddy's advice at first. I pushed Gemma out the door and was about to leave and make my momma proud when Walt had to go and say that one more thing that plucked my last nerve.

"Just look at you go, girl," he said. "You run faster'n your daddy, and he's the biggest coward I ever done seen. He ran from me like a scared chicken."

He could make fun of me all he wanted, but picking at my daddy was taking things too far. I spun around and narrowed my eyes into slits, saying, "Any man would run from a face as ugly as yours."

Walt took that as something of an insult, I guess, even though I saw it more as truth than anything. He grabbed his package and started toward me, mumbling something about me being a rotten brat.

I dropped the bags and ran out the door like a shot, nearly cras.h.i.+ng into Gemma on the other side. "Get out of here," I told her breathlessly. "Quick!" I caught her hand and pulled her along, looking back to see if Walt was really following.

He was.

Everyone in the street stopped and stared as we went by, but no one interfered. I guess we must have looked a sight-the white girl dragging the colored girl, both of us being chased by the ornery white thug. But I couldn't figure why somebody didn't call him off. Since when was it okay for a grown man to chase after young girls, hoping to hurt them?

He was gaining on us fast when I ran square into my daddy, letting out a gasp of air when I hit him hard.

"Stand aside, Jessilyn," was all Daddy said. He didn't ask me what was going on or anything. He just put me and Gemma behind him and waited for Walt, who stopped about ten feet away.

"You keep that rotten girl of yours and her smart tongue away from me, La.s.siter," Walt said, more winded than a man of his young age should have been. "She ain't nothin' but a troublemaker . . . just like her daddy."

"Ain't nothin' that gives you the right to threaten harm to my daughter," Daddy said. "I want you stayin' far away from her."

"Since she's spendin' her time with that colored girl, I don't guess it'll be hard for me to stay away from her."

Daddy drew a long, deep breath, took off his hat, and ran his hand through his hair before saying, "I ain't gonna argue with you, boy. It ain't worth the breath. You just stay away from my family." He started to walk away but stopped and turned back for one last thing. "And that includes Gemma."

Gemma looked up at my daddy with eyes like a scared deer's.

"Get on back to the truck, girls," Daddy said simply. "Jessilyn, did you get your momma's things?"

"Yes'r. But I left them at the store."

"You get on back to the truck, then, and I'll get the things."

I pulled Gemma by the arm, turning once to see my daddy walk past an angry Walt, the sea of onlookers parting for him as he walked to Mr. Hanley's store. They all backed up, but not one of them would look at my daddy. In fact, most of them turned away on purpose, like seeing my daddy would hurt their eyes.

For the last time that day I took a long look at Walt Blevins.

He grinned at me with hate in his eyes, pulled the traps out of his sack, and said, "See these, smart girl? Know what them is?"

I stood there without saying a word.

"Them's n.i.g.g.e.r traps," he said. "Best keep that girl locked up else she lose a leg or somethin'." Then he spat his tobacco on the road and walked away.

Much as I wanted to do something awful to that man, I did what I knew was best and followed my daddy's orders. I turned around and nearly shoved Gemma into the truck. When we were settled inside, the fear crept back into my bones, and I started to shake.

Gemma sat there for a minute sort of hugging herself like she was cold, and then she looked at me with amazement in her eyes. "Did you hear your daddy?"

"I heard him."

"He talked like I was kin."

"Why shouldn't he?"

Gemma shook her head. "It'll get him in trouble, talkin' like that."

"Daddy ain't worried about those people."

We sat quietly for a few minutes before Gemma said, "You think he means it?"

"My daddy never says nothin' he don't mean."

Gemma curled up in the seat with her feet beside her, like Duke did when he sat in front of the fire. She didn't say anything more, but I could see a touch of a smile on her face. It had been so long since I'd seen her look anything but sad, I noticed it right off, and it made me smile too.

I'd never been so proud of my daddy.