Sparkling Cyanide Part 9

"Yes, I noticed it too - although she has seemed in good health and spirits on the whole lately. But I am telling you what George Barton spirits on the whole lately. But I am telling you what George Barton said. He told me that Iris has consistently avoided the Luxembourg said. He told me that Iris has consistently avoided the Luxembourg ever since as far as she was able." ever since as far as she was able."

"I don't wonder."

"But according to him that is all wrong. It seems he consulted a nerve specialist on the subject - one of these modern men - and his advice is specialist on the subject - one of these modern men - and his advice is that after a shock of any kind, the trouble must be faced, not avoided. that after a shock of any kind, the trouble must be faced, not avoided. The principle, I gather, is like that of sending up an airman again The principle, I gather, is like that of sending up an airman again immediately after a crash." immediately after a crash."

"Does the specialist suggest another suicide?"

Sandra replied quietly, "He suggests that the a.s.sociations of the restaurant must be overcome. It is, after all, just a restaurant. He restaurant must be overcome. It is, after all, just a restaurant. He proposed an ordinary pleasant party with, as far as possible, the same proposed an ordinary pleasant party with, as far as possible, the same people present." people present."

"Delightful for the people!"

"Do you mind so much, Stephen?"

A swift pang of alarm shot through him. He said quickly: "Of course I don't mind. I just thought it rather a gruesome idea. Personally I don't mind. I just thought it rather a gruesome idea. Personally I shouldn't mind in the least... I was really thinking of you. If you don't shouldn't mind in the least... I was really thinking of you. If you don't mind -" mind -"

She interrupted him.

"I do mind. Very much. But the way George Barton put it made it very difficult to refuse. After all, I have frequently been to the Luxembourg difficult to refuse. After all, I have frequently been to the Luxembourg since - so have you. One is constantly being asked there." since - so have you. One is constantly being asked there."

"But not under these circ.u.mstances."

"No."

Stephen said: "As you say, it is difficult to refuse - and if we put it off the invitation will be renewed. But there's no reason, Sandra, why you the invitation will be renewed. But there's no reason, Sandra, why you should have to endure it. I'll go and you can cry off at the last minute - a should have to endure it. I'll go and you can cry off at the last minute - a headache, chill - something of that kind." headache, chill - something of that kind."

He saw her chin go up.

"That would be cowardly. No, Stephen, if you go, I go. After all," she laid her hand on his arm, "however little our marriage means, it should laid her hand on his arm, "however little our marriage means, it should at least mean sharing all our difficulties." at least mean sharing all our difficulties."

But he was staring at her - rendered dumb by one poignant phrase which had escaped her so easily, as though it voiced a long familiar which had escaped her so easily, as though it voiced a long familiar and not very important fact. and not very important fact.

Recovering himself he said, "Why do you say that? However little our marriage means?" marriage means?"

She looked at him steadily, her eyes wide and honest.

"Isn't it true?"

"No, a thousand times no. Our marriage means everything to me."

She smiled.

"I suppose it does - in a way. We're a good team, Stephen. We pull together with a satisfactory result." together with a satisfactory result."

"I didn't mean that." He found his breath was coming unevenly. He took her hand in both of his, holding it very closely - "Sandra, don't you took her hand in both of his, holding it very closely - "Sandra, don't you know that you mean all the world to me?" know that you mean all the world to me?"

And suddenly she did know it. It was incredible - unforeseen, but it was so. She was in his arms and he was holding her close, kissing her, so. She was in his arms and he was holding her close, kissing her, stammering out incoherent words. stammering out incoherent words.

"Sandra - Sandra - darling. I love you... I've been so afraid - so afraid I'd lose you." I'd lose you."

She heard herself saying: "Because of Rosemary?"

"Yes." He let go of her, stepped back, his face was ludicrous in its dismay. dismay.

"You knew - about Rosemary?"

"Of course - all the time."

"And you understand?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't understand. I don't think I ever should. You loved her?"

"Not really. It was you I loved."

A surge of bitterness swept over her. She quoted: "From the first moment you saw me across the room? Don't repeat that lie - for it was moment you saw me across the room? Don't repeat that lie - for it was a lie!" a lie!"

He was not taken aback by that sudden attack. He seemed to consider her words thoughtfully. her words thoughtfully.

"Yes, it was a lie - and yet in a queer way it wasn't. I'm beginning to believe that it was true. Oh, try and understand, Sandra. You know the believe that it was true. Oh, try and understand, Sandra. You know the people who always have a n.o.ble and good reason to mask their people who always have a n.o.ble and good reason to mask their meaner actions? The people who 'have to be honest' when they want meaner actions? The people who 'have to be honest' when they want to be unkind, who 'thought it their duty to repeat so and so,' who are to be unkind, who 'thought it their duty to repeat so and so,' who are such hypocrites to themselves that they go through to their life's end such hypocrites to themselves that they go through to their life's end convinced that every mean and beastly action was done in a spirit of convinced that every mean and beastly action was done in a spirit of unselfishness! Try and realise also that the opposite of those people unselfishness! Try and realise also that the opposite of those people can exist too. People who are so cynical, so distrustful of themselves can exist too. People who are so cynical, so distrustful of themselves and of life that they can only believe in their bad motives. You were the and of life that they can only believe in their bad motives. You were the woman I needed. That, at least, is true. And I do honestly believe, now, woman I needed. That, at least, is true. And I do honestly believe, now, looking back on it, that if it hadn't been true, I should never have gone looking back on it, that if it hadn't been true, I should never have gone through with it." through with it."

She said bitterly: "You were not in love with me."

"No. I had never been in love. I was a starved, s.e.xless creature who prided himself - yes, I did - on the fastidious coldness of his nature! prided himself - yes, I did - on the fastidious coldness of his nature!

And then I did fall in love 'across a room' - a silly violent puppy love. A thing like a midsummer thunderstorm, brief, unreal, quickly over." He thing like a midsummer thunderstorm, brief, unreal, quickly over." He added bitterly: "Indeed a 'tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, added bitterly: "Indeed a 'tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'" signifying nothing.'"

He paused, and then went on: "It was here, at Fairhaven, that I woke up and realised the truth." up and realised the truth."

"The truth?"

"That the only thing in life that mattered to me was you - and keeping your love." your love."

"If I had only known..."

"What did you think?"

"I thought you were planning to go away with her."

"With Rosemary?" He gave a short laugh. "That would have been penal servitude for life!" servitude for life!"

"Didn't she want you to go away with her?"

"Yes, she did."

"What happened?"

Stephen drew a deep breath. They were back again. Facing once more that intangible menace. He said: "The Luxembourg happened." that intangible menace. He said: "The Luxembourg happened."

They were both silent, seeing, they both knew, the same thing. The blue cyanosed face of a once lovely woman. blue cyanosed face of a once lovely woman.

Staring at a dead woman, and then looking up to meet each other's eyes... eyes...

Stephen said: "Forget it, Sandra, for G.o.d's sake, let us forget it!"

"It's no use forgetting. We're not going to be allowed to forget."

There was a pause. Then Sandra said: "What are we going to do?"

"What you said to me just now. Face things - together. Go to this horrible party whatever the reason for it may be." horrible party whatever the reason for it may be."

"You don't believe what George Barton said about Iris?"

"No. Do you?"

"It could be true. But even if it is, it's not the real reason."

"What do you think the real reason is?"

"I don't know, Stephen. But I'm afraid."

"Of George Barton?"

"Yes, I think he - knows."

Stephen said sharply: "Knows what?"

She turned her head slowly until her eyes met his.

She said in a whisper: "We mustn't be afraid. We must have courage - all the courage in the world. You're going to be a great man, Stephen - all the courage in the world. You're going to be a great man, Stephen - a man all the world needs - and nothing shall interfere with that. I'm a man all the world needs - and nothing shall interfere with that. I'm your wife and I love you." your wife and I love you."

"What do you think this party is, Sandra?"

"I think it's a trap."

He said slowly, "And we walk into it?"

"We can't afford to show we know it's a trap."

"No, that's true."

Suddenly Sandra threw back her head and laughed. She said: "Do your worst, Rosemary. You won't win." your worst, Rosemary. You won't win."

He gripped her shoulder. "Be quiet, Sandra, Rosemary's dead."

"Is she? Sometimes - she feels very much alive..."

Chapter 3.

Half-way across the Park, Iris said: "Do you mind if I don't come back with you, George? I feel like a walk. I thought I'd go up over Friar's Hill and come down through the wood. thought I'd go up over Friar's Hill and come down through the wood. I've had an awful headache all day." I've had an awful headache all day."

"My poor child. Do go. I won't come with you - I'm expecting a fellow along sometime this afternoon and I'm not quite sure when he'll turn along sometime this afternoon and I'm not quite sure when he'll turn up." up."

"Right. Good-bye till tea-time."

She turned abruptly and made off at right angles to where a belt of larches showed on the hillside. larches showed on the hillside.

When she came out on the brow of the hill she drew a deep breath. It was one of those close humid days common in October. A dank was one of those close humid days common in October. A dank moisture coated the leaves of the trees and the grey cloud hung very moisture coated the leaves of the trees and the grey cloud hung very low overhead promising yet more rain shortly. There was not really low overhead promising yet more rain shortly. There was not really much more air up here on the hill than there had been in the valley, but much more air up here on the hill than there had been in the valley, but Iris felt nevertheless as though she could breathe more freely. Iris felt nevertheless as though she could breathe more freely.

"Oh, not the hatred - if true. I meant your use of the word 'us.' My question referred to you personally." question referred to you personally."

"Oh, I see... I think they like me quite well in a negative sort of way. I think it's us as a family living next door that they mind about. We think it's us as a family living next door that they mind about. We weren't particular friends of theirs - they were Rosemary's friends." weren't particular friends of theirs - they were Rosemary's friends."

"Yes," said Anthony, "as you say they were Rosemary's friends - not that I should imagine Sandra Farraday and Rosemary were ever that I should imagine Sandra Farraday and Rosemary were ever bosom friends, eh?" bosom friends, eh?"

"No," said Iris, and she looked faintly apprehensive as Anthony smoked peacefully. smoked peacefully.

Presently he said: "Do you know what strikes me most about the Farradays?" Farradays?"

"What?"

"Just that - that they are the Farradays. I always think of them like that -not as Stephen and Sandra, two individuals linked by the State and the Established Church - but as a definite dual ent.i.ty - the Farradays. the Established Church - but as a definite dual ent.i.ty - the Farradays. That is rarer than you would think. They are two people with a common That is rarer than you would think. They are two people with a common aim, a common way of life, identical hopes and fears and beliefs. And aim, a common way of life, identical hopes and fears and beliefs. And the odd part of it is that they are actually very dissimilar in character. the odd part of it is that they are actually very dissimilar in character. Stephen, I should say, is a man of wide intellectual scope, extremely Stephen, I should say, is a man of wide intellectual scope, extremely sensitive to opinion from outside, horribly diffident about himself and sensitive to opinion from outside, horribly diffident about himself and somewhat lacking in moral courage. Sandra, on the other hand, has a somewhat lacking in moral courage. Sandra, on the other hand, has a narrow medieval mind, is capable of fanatical devotion, and is narrow medieval mind, is capable of fanatical devotion, and is courageous to the point of recklessness." courageous to the point of recklessness."

"He always seems to me," said Iris, "rather pompous and stupid."

"He's not at all stupid. He's just one of the usual unhappy successes."

"Unhappy?"

"Most successes are unhappy. That's why they are successes - they have to rea.s.sure themselves about themselves by achieving have to rea.s.sure themselves about themselves by achieving something that the world will notice." something that the world will notice."

"What very extraordinary ideas you have, Anthony."

"You'll find they're quite true if you only examine them. The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves that they don't give a d.a.m.n. Like me. They are also usually themselves that they don't give a d.a.m.n. Like me. They are also usually agreeable to get on with - again like me." agreeable to get on with - again like me."

"You have a very good opinion of yourself."

"I am just drawing attention to my good points in case you mayn't have noticed them." noticed them."

Iris laughed. Her spirits had risen. The dull depression and fear had lifted from her mind. She glanced down at her watch. lifted from her mind. She glanced down at her watch.

"Come home and have tea, and give a few more people the benefit of your unusually agreeable society." your unusually agreeable society."