The Family Simon: Jack Part 16

He smiled again, and once more she caught a glimpse of the man he'd been before cancer had taken over.

"We won't tell Jack," he replied with a wink.

"Won't tell Jack what?"

Startled, Donovan looked behind her. Her stomach rolled. Her insides quaked. And her heart started up like a rocket shooting into s.p.a.ce.

Wearing nothing but those d.a.m.n board shorts, with all that tanned skin and those bulging biceps, he looked like every woman's dream-the oven mitts and pan only added to his s.e.x appeal.

He hadn't shaved-again-and those eyes of his were dark as they regarded her, a strange look in their depths.

Quickly, she swiped at the still damp tears in the corners of her eyes and attempted a smile as she ignored his question.

"Dinner's ready?" she asked instead.

"Yes," Jack replied, nodding to Brett as he moved past them and set the large pan on the picnic table. "Sabrina will be down in a minute."

Jack leaned against the table, his eyes moving from Donovan to Brett. "How ya feeling?" he asked.

"Better than ever," Brett replied. "I like your girl."

Donovan's eyes slid away, and she watched the kids as they clambered out of the water and ran toward them.

She wanted that. She wanted to be Jack's girl.

She wanted his baby.

She thought of Brett and Sabrina and their bittersweet, tragic story. Maybe Brett was right. Her story wasn't over. Maybe everything keeping her and Jack apart didn't matter. Maybe Cooper's threats didn't matter and the whole mess with Derek, that awful night from five years ago? Maybe it was time to tell Jack that story.

Maybe it was time for Donovan to write her own story. Time for her to face some hard truths. To admit to past mistakes and take a chance on the only man she would ever love.

Of course the question was, did she have enough b.a.l.l.s to do it?

Chapter Nineteen.

It was just before eleven when Jack and Donovan headed up to his place, but it felt much later. He was dead tired. He was running on little sleep, and a full day on the water with the kids hadn't helped.

It had been one h.e.l.l of a weird day, and he was just about ready for it to be over. He'd barely exchanged two words with Donovan since the morning, but he'd felt her eyes on him more than once throughout the evening. Something was up, a s.h.i.+ft in their universe and something was about to happen. He could feel it.

But what?

He watched as she cradled Coco and picked her way along the path in the dark. Her hair was loose, the long blond tangles falling halfway down her back and the breeze played with the ends. Dressed in one of his old sweats.h.i.+rts, she looked so d.a.m.n small-no wonder his protective instincts were kicking in. There were solar lights along the path but still, the steps were uneven, and he was ready to catch her if she stumbled.

She didn't, and he followed her inside the house. He'd left one lamp on near the leather sofa and long shadows filled in most of the great room. She walked a few paces and then paused, absently petting Coco as she turned to him. The shadows made her eyes look huge and mysterious, her mouth so d.a.m.n kissable that his mind started to wander to places it shouldn't. And that hair. Jesus that hair. She looked as wild and untamed as when he'd first met her.

Coco hopped out of her arms and sniffed around Jack's feet, his little body trembling with excitement. The dog barked once and then ran to the sofa, tail wagging fiercely before he settled down, little tongue out and panting as if he'd just run a quarter mile.

Donovan licked her lips, bit on her bottom one, but her eyes never left his. The silence between them felt so big that it was loud and alive and full of hard things.

"I should just...I'll head up now," Donovan said softly, turning toward the stairs.

"No. Wait." Jack blew out a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "I...we need to talk."

Donovan took a few seconds before she turned back around. She opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it before she could get any words out. He let that dark and heavy silence wash over him again, watching her closely, waiting for her to react.

But she kept silent, so he plunged forward, speaking the things that he'd been thinking about all afternoon.

"This is wrong, Donnie. All of it. I should never have forced you to come up here with me. I don't know what I was thinking." He sighed. "Obviously I wasn't and I apologize for that. I don't want to do this anymore."

Her eyes slid away, and he clenched his fists together. He needed for her to understand.

"You don't want to be here, and I'm not the guy who's gonna force it. Not anymore. I don't have time for the kind of bulls.h.i.+t we're playing at. I'm not that guy. I never was."

He crossed over to the kitchen and scooped up a small plastic bag. "I got this when I was in town."

"What is it?"

She was close. Not only could he smell that sweet scent that was all Donovan, but he felt her. Like an imprint or a brand seared into his flesh.

He turned back to her, angry and not really knowing why. "It's a pregnancy test. Says it can give a reading as early as seven days after conception, which from my way of figuring is right about now. Take it and then we'll know for sure."

She stared at the bag in his hands for several moments.

"And then what?" she whispered.

"Then you can go home, and we'll figure out the rest. If you're pregnant we'll deal with it. If not, well..." He shrugged but didn't say anything more.

She reached for the bag, and he let her take it, his heart now thudding heavily as she tossed it back onto the counter. Her lips parted, her breathing became short and erratic. That something he felt earlier was back. That something was brewing. He felt it settle between them. Felt it settle inside him.

Her eyes were lowered, the long lashes sweeping across her cheeks and throwing shadows. Was she shaking?

"What if I don't..." She blew out a long breath, eyes still averted. "What if I don't want to go home?" she whispered.

That thing inside him, whatever the h.e.l.l it was, unfurled, firing off a shot of adrenaline to every cell in his body. He was hot, so d.a.m.n hot and tight from the strength of it, that he growled like an animal. Eyes narrowed, he reached for her, a hand on her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

"What are you saying exactly?" he asked carefully, wanting to get this right. No more room for misunderstandings. Not now.

For a second, he thought she was going to bolt. But then her hands slipped up over his forearms, holding him in place, and she licked that d.a.m.n mouth, her tongue lingering in the corners for a heartbeat.

"I'm saying that I'm sorry for what happened five years ago. I'm sorry for Belize. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all I'm sorry that I hurt you." She paused, eyes wide and s.h.i.+ny. "I never wanted that Jack. I was trying to protect you and it just went all wrong. If I could go back and change things, I would. But I can't. I can only change right now and right now I don't want to be anywhere else other than here with you."

Jack was silent. What the h.e.l.l did he say to that? This was the last thing he'd expected to hear. He'd thought about Donovan and their situation all day and the only scenario he'd considered was her taking the d.a.m.n test and leaving for LA in the morning.

"f.u.c.k," he muttered, yanking his hands from her and taking a step back. "Jesus Christ, Donnie." He ran his hands through his hair, eyes on her. He was p.i.s.sed off, but he didn't know what the h.e.l.l he was p.i.s.sed off at. Donovan for throwing a curveball just when he'd finally decided enough was enough, or himself for actually entertaining the idea of Donovan. Of the two of them together.

How crazy was that?

"There are things that you don't know," she said softly, lower lip trembling as if she was about to cry. "Things that I have to tell you and I will. I promise I will but I just..."

"Just what?" he said darkly. What the h.e.l.l was she doing to him?

"Can we have this time together? These few days? Can we feel things out? See if we can make us work before we let the rest of the world in?"

Unbelievable. His anger and whatever the h.e.l.l else was knocking around inside him ramped up something fierce.

"Two days ago, you wanted nothing to do with me and now you want to feel things out? Can you see why I have a problem with that?"

She nodded. "I do. I get it. But you can't deny that there's still something between us. That it never really went away. I feel it Jack, and I know you do too."

"Wanting and loving are two different things." His nostrils flared, and his voice was rough. What the h.e.l.l? She was. .h.i.tting him with this s.h.i.+t now?

"Five years ago I thought I had it all. I had you and a life that looked d.a.m.n good to me. You were it. I didn't want anyone else. I didn't look at anyone else. I would have done whatever it took to make it work, but you never asked me to. You didn't say s.h.i.+t. We had a fight and then you just ended us. You ended what we had." His voice rose and his anger increased.

She winced. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. Not now. Not even then. Thing is? It doesn't matter if you're sorry now, because it doesn't change anything. Whatever we had died. That's the straight up truth right there. I may still want you, but I sure as h.e.l.l don't love you."

He held her gaze steady so she would know he wasn't bulls.h.i.+tting, and still his anger ramped up. He wanted her to yell back. h.e.l.l, he was in the mood for some kind of fight right about now. Anything to make the deadness inside him go away.

"Okay," she whispered.

"That doesn't sound like you, Donnie. What the h.e.l.l? Okay? That's all you got?"

She took a step forward and placed her hand over his heart. "It's all I got," she replied.

Slowly, so slowly that the seconds felt like minutes, she moved until her body was flush against him. Every. Single. Inch. He was hot and p.i.s.sed off and h.o.r.n.y as h.e.l.l.

He glared at her, hoping she'd pull away before they did something stupid like sleep together. But she didn't pull away. She pressed into him as if she belonged there, her soft b.r.e.a.s.t.s, that tempting mouth and all that hair, there for the taking.

He should be stronger-the woman was all wrong for him-but he wasn't. And maybe it was because he was running on empty, or maybe it was those d.a.m.n tequila shots working their magic. Or the fact that his buddy Brett was dying. Maybe he needed some kind of connection to feel alive.

h.e.l.l, it could just be because Donovan James made him weak.

Whatever it was, right now, in this moment, he didn't care. Besides, when had he ever done the smart thing when it came to this woman?

With a groan he slid his hands into her hair and pulled up until her mouth was right where he wanted it. He slid his lips over hers, and she opened beneath him, her taste and scent filling him.

G.o.d, she was so soft and feminine.

Jack kissed her long and hard, his tongue going deep and claiming her as he slid his hand down her back, over the bulky sweats.h.i.+rt until he settled just above her b.u.t.t. He held her there, felt his erection swell against her, and then pulled her in harder so that she could feel it too.

Her hands were up his s.h.i.+rt and when she grabbed hold of the hem and practically ripped it off him, he smiled, a dark smile that mirrored the emotions running through him. Because he was about as far away from happy as he could get. In fact, it was a different kind of danger that coursed through him.

Donovan should be scared. She should be very scared.

"You want it rough," he said, stepping back and tossing his T-s.h.i.+rt. He nailed her with a dark look-liked the wariness that crept into her eyes.

"I want you."

There was a time when those three words would have brought him to his knees. But right now? They sparked something dark and mean. "Why don't we call this what it is? You want to f.u.c.k."

Her eyes widened slightly. They wavered, and she lowered her lashes so that he couldn't see her properly. That p.i.s.sed him off even more. Yanking her head back, he smiled though it didn't go anywhere near his eyes. It was hollowed out and empty.

"Do you want to f.u.c.k or not?" Why the h.e.l.l was he doing this?

"Why do you have to be so...so..."

"So what? Crude? Truthful? Isn't that what s.e.x is between two people who don't like each other all that much?"

That bottom lip trembled slightly, and he dipped low, dragging his mouth over hers in a brutal kiss that left them both breathing hard. Unsatisfied. Unfulfilled. It wasn't a kiss meant to seduce. It was a kiss meant to punish.

"You still want this?" he asked, roughly, hands slipping between them into her panties. He slid his finger inside, swearing when he found her slick heat. "Do you want this," he repeated and it wasn't a question.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"This?" He pressed two fingers inside her folds, while his thumb rolled over her c.l.i.t. It was swollen with need and she cried out, gyrating against him. He began to work her over with his fingers, stroking until she gasped.

"Yes."

"Yes, what Donnie?

"I want you," she managed to say.

He curved his index finger and ma.s.saged her, watching as she began to buck against him.

"You don't want us," he said through gritted teeth, his thumb rolling over her in quick succession. He was being rough and he knew it.

"I want us."

"There is no us," he said, lowering his head so that he could bite her shoulder.

She gasped.

"There will never be an us." He heard his words and the meaning took hold. With a curse, Jack pushed her away.

"We're not doing this," he bit out, shaking his head savagely.

Mouth bruised from his kiss, she whispered. "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry, Donovan."