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She watched the parade of ancient gala women, dresses too short, waltz through the Club's main doors. Botox, b.o.o.bs, and b.i.t.c.hes: the Club trifecta. She wondered if the horror would even show on their smooth, surgically frozen faces when they viewed the corrupted slides. The Captain's neck would turn an angry red when his shame and revulsion became too much to bear. Lina wondered if she'd be able to see the exact moment the boys were disinherited, if she'd bear witness to the historic event. She'd be watching for it.
Of course there was someone else she'd have to watch out for tonight: Mari. A bubble of uncertainty rose up in Lina's throat. She closed her eyes and reminded herself that as long as everything went as planned she'd have no problem silencing Mari. Madge wouldn't care about all that money as long as the Gregorys were destroyed. That was the goal. That was what Lina needed to be focusing on right now.
"Your mom really has no idea?" Madge asked.
"No," Rose murmured, her patience wearing thin. "She was just thrilled I actually helped her, and that I know PowerPoint. It's all cued up and ready to roll."
Madge nodded and headed into the courtyard, Sloane on her heels.
Lina paused for a second with Rose.
Hawthorne Lake Country Club was bathed in white. Creamy linens were draped over tables and chairs; lights sparkled from every tree; hundreds of white hydrangeas, snapdragons, and roses were bunched in vases on every available surface. But the most spectacular addition to the theatrics was the clear surface suspended over the pool, the tables situated on top, as if floating over the glowing water. All of the guests were required to wear white. Maybe someone believed it could be like fresh snow in a city, covering up the dirt and sludge, transforming sin to purity. Still, even though Lina knew exactly what lurked beneath the surface, she had to admit that it was stunning. The Captain had truly outdone himself this year, and she almost hated to ruin it. Almost.
Soon, an orchestra of overlapping conversations mixed with clinking wine gla.s.ses, punctuated every so often by the pop of a champagne bottle. The Captain was in his element. His laugh rained down upon the crowd, rivaled only by Trip's. Even though the Captain acted as though Trip didn't exist, the two were so similar. They glowed and preened in the spotlight, while James, the Captain's favorite, lurked around the edges. She caught him exchanging harsh words with his brother. Trip's eyes glazed over as James spoke, wandering in search of someone more important. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone slapped his back and he turned, leaving James to choke on whatever he wanted to communicate. It was the same exact thing her father did to her at breakfast, the same thing he did to her every time she said something that he didn't agree with. Before she could stop herself, Lina felt sorry for James. And almost as instantaneously, she hated herself for it.
"Should we mingle?" Rose asked. Lina couldn't determine if she was frightened or sarcastic.
Lina glanced at her. Rose wore an unflattering white dress, the high neckline doing nothing for her b.o.o.bs, which were shoved in and flattened together like one large, lumpy pancake. Lina would have liked nothing more than to load the both of them into her car and head back to her closet where she had an airy sundress with a sweetheart neckline that would make Rose look like Sophia Loren. Willa would have approved. Instead, Lina grabbed Rose's arm to yank her into the bathroom. They might not have time for a full makeover but surely she could do something about those b.o.o.bs.
"Wait. My mom needs me. We'll talk after." Rose shot her an apologetic look and made her way over to her mother's side. Not for the first time, Lina wondered if Pilar would be fired over what was about to happen. The girls hadn't discussed that possibility, but she was surprised Rose hadn't brought it up. She knew her family probably needed the money. Then again, Rose always seemed to be surprising Lina.
Sloane looked bored, fawned over by her parents, who showed her off proudly. She kept rolling her eyes at Lina, who scanned the courtyard for Madge. At least Madge was parentless tonight, too. Lina hated herself for thinking it, but it was true. Mr. and Mrs. Ames-Rowan had never missed a gala. Their absence and their surviving daughter's attendance served as a reminder of Willa's death, the one thing every single person at the Club was actively trying to forget. Because when it came down to it, they were all guilty. Every single person who was in the tent that night had also been on the yacht. And every single one of them had let James Gregory get away with murder. They might as well have driven the getaway car.
Finally she spotted Madge, alone in a corner.
As hard as these beautiful people tried to forget, tried to move on, tried to feign innocence, not one of them could bear to look at Madge. Lina wondered if it hurt to be ignored. But Madge sat almost painfully straight in her chair, a careful half smile on her face. If her demotion from Club darling to Club pariah stung, she didn't let it show. Lina walked over and settled in next to her friend, resisting the urge to hug her close.
"Five minutes," Madge whispered, her eyes fixed on the presentation screen. Maybe she was too busy with the War to notice anyone not noticing her. It wasn't the same for Lina. Practically everywhere she went, she was noticed. If not for her sharp cheekbones and the graceful curve of her lips, then the shocking tattoos decorating her body. She was identified as "that tall girl" or "the pretty one" or if the person doing the identifying were a woman over forty, "the one with those tattoos." Tonight was no different.
The squeal of a microphone tore Lina from her thoughts. The Captain appeared at the podium in front of the screen. Lina's heart pounded, the pulse in her ears drowning out his words. He gave his usual speech about the power of community and generosity of Hawthorne Lake's members. It was because of the Club that the children at St. Anthony's Children's Hospital were receiving a new multimillion-dollar art wing. The subtext? We at the Club have already moved beyond the charity created in Willa's name. There's no need to remember her. We have a new reason to pat ourselves on the back. As she watched the Captain speak, the entire audience hanging on each and every word, electricity coursed through Lina's body. This was it. In a few minutes, the Gregorys would be destroyed.
The presentation began. Madge leaned forward in her seat. Sloane had broken away from her parents, and Rose pulled back from her mom. Lina imagined they wanted some distance to enjoy the show. Rose caught Lina's eye, offering a hesitant smile, and for the first time, without even thinking, Lina returned it. A picture of a Disney starlet and a little boy in a hospital bed, tubes connected every which way, filled the screen. Lina knew what came next. She held her breath.
And there it was. The first picture. The $30,000 shot. Trip groping Mari in the locker room.
A hush fell over the crowd; women slapped hands over their mouths; men straightened. The Captain frowned at the silence that had spread over the room like a cloak. And he turned to the screen just in time to see old Trip up to no good. And then another picture of a sick child filled the screen, this one with a baseball cap on that did nothing to disguise the slashes of purple beneath the child's eyes. Before the Captain could wonder if perhaps the image was a trick of the light, a figment of his imagination, James was next. His long torso, completely nude, covered by a photoshopped Rose. The Captain slowly lowered his drink.
"What the h.e.l.l is this? Pilar! Turn this off. Immediately."
He stood in front of the projector and tried to block an image of the drug deal with his broad shoulders. Pilar, incredibly ungraceful under pressure, bent behind the computer, pressing b.u.t.tons and pulling cords, managing only to raise the volume on the presentation. Trip had the sense to appear stunned and James stared at the screen, his body rigid, his face stoic. With a desperate yank, Pilar pulled the plug, and the screen went black. But it was too late. Lina lowered herself back in her seat to watch the Captain, waiting for the moment.
He shook his head slowly for what felt like hours. And then he spoke.
"I apologize for that rather inappropriate disruption," the Captain said rubbing his jaw with his hand. "It appears that my grandsons are having a bit of fun with their grandfather, and you all had the privilege of witnessing their little practical joke." Trip tried to laugh it off, but his cheeks were too red. James just stalked away from the pool, his arm knocking into an empty chair making it wobble on its feet. The Captain continued to shake his head, and Lina wondered if he was going to disown the boys publicly, cutting them off in front of everyone as she hoped. She wanted to see Trip's face when his party was broken up, she wanted to watch James punch something, wanted to see the boys unravel.
But when the Captain lifted his eyes back to the crowd, they were a softer shade of blue and one side of his lip twitched. If Lina didn't know better, she'd say he was about to laugh. Was he? Madge stiffened, shaking her own head back and forth, confirming Lina's suspicion. And then the Captain smiled. It was a moment all right. Just not the one she'd been waiting for. "But let's not allow this joke to ruin the evening. After all, you know what they say, 'boys will be boys.' " He winked at the crowd and some of the men chuckled. Most women still appeared a bit stunned. But no one said anything; no one called anyone out; no one voiced an opinion, if they even had one. Madge sat completely still, her hands shaking with barely suppressed rage.
"These boys keep me young," the Captain continued. "But make no mistake. I taught them everything they know."
This time a few women laughed, too. Bile rose in Lina's throat making her cough.
"Your salads will be arriving shortly and after dinner, we'll head to the ballroom for the silent auction. Enjoy!" And that was it.
Trip's friends slapped his back. Salads were placed on tables and red wine poured into gla.s.ses. James had disappeared.
"This isn't over." Madge whispered the words so only Lina could hear, a bland smile plastered on her face. Lina scanned the crowd for the remaining girls. Rose stared at the screen her face blank with shock. Sloane's eyes fell on Lina, tears glittering above her lashes. It was almost as if Willa had died all over again. Just like on the Fourth of July, their hands were bound, mouths sealed shut, the fight siphoned from them like gas from a rusty car. Lina's phone buzzed in her clutch. Mari. She wanted her money. A wave of dizziness pa.s.sed over her and she swayed dangerously in her chair. All of the hope she'd built up over the past few days had been snuffed out.
Lina shoved out from behind her chair and made a beeline for the golf course.
"Lina, wait!" Rose called after her.
But Lina ran-out of the patio, away from the sea of glittering white and chattering voices. How could she have been so stupid? Did she really believe she and her friends would have a chance against the Gregorys? She couldn't bear to think about what would happen if Mari told the Captain who was behind those pictures. Some juvenile detention facility? Military school? By the time she found Mari sitting in front of the pin, as.h.i.+ng her cigarette into the hole, Lina was barefoot and tear streaked. She wasn't sure when she'd begun crying, but now she couldn't seem to stop.
"Here." She tossed the roll of bills in Mari's direction. "Take your d.a.m.n money."
Mari flipped through the bills and looked up at Lina from beneath her heavy lashes.
"I could have sworn we said sixty."
"You're out of your mind. Take it and get the h.e.l.l out of here. I never want to see you again."
"You sure about that? I mean, I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but I'm guessing your dad would be pretty p.i.s.sed off if he knew about his only daughter's s.e.xual tendencies."
"I don't ..." Lina tried to find the words, but the denial died on her lips. Who the h.e.l.l was she kidding?
"You're not getting a penny over whatever she just gave you." Rose's voice was clear and strong in the night.
Mari was on her feet and in Rose's face in one fluid motion. "Oh look, you decided to become a maid to the little rich girls after all. Your mother must be so proud." The key on Rose's necklace caught in the moonlight. Mari lifted it off Rose's chest. "Your friend over here has the same one, doesn't she? Does that make you her b.i.t.c.h now?"
"I'd rather be her b.i.t.c.h than the Gregorys' wh.o.r.e."
For a second Lina thought she must have heard wrong.
Mari took a step backward and dropped her cigarette.
"Fine. I'll keep your secrets so you can keep telling the same old lies. But eventually you'll realize that the wh.o.r.es are the only women winning in this place." Mari flashed her icy smile. "At least we're getting paid."
Lina watched as Mari stuffed the money into her pocket and walked toward the lake.
"How much did you give her?" Rose asked.
"Thirty thousand." Lina shook her head and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Madge is going to kill me."
"Us," Rose said softly. "She's going to kill us."
"No, it's my fault. We had this ... thing ... on the Fourth and then she stole my phone and ..."
"Are you sure?" Rose interrupted Lina. "Because I think I might have been the one who left it at the pool the other night."
Lina stared at Rose for a beat before she realized that she'd never be able to get the words out. So instead of saying thank you, she did what Willa would have done. She linked her arm through Rose's and walked her friend back to the Club.
July 4th, 10:17 P.M.
Lina scanned the crowded deck at the party. Her eyes caught on a couple near the stern who were lost in each other. A mess of hands and lips and tangled limbs.
"Whoa, get a room Piper Worthington." Willa sidled up next to her, laughing.
"Aw, don't be mean. She's just trying to fit in now that Alexander dumped her." Sloane's forehead creased with sympathy.
"Whatever," Lina muttered. "She reeks of eau de desperate and you know it." But she couldn't keep the jealousy from her voice.
"You know you could have him, right? Any of them. All you'd have to do is snap your fingers." Willa hooked her arm into the crook of Lina's. Sloane nodded enthusiastically beside her. Sloane probably thought she was helping Willa make Lina feel better. Of course she did.
"Why ladies," Lina batted lashes heavy with mascara, "haven't you heard the rumors? I've already had them all."
"I believe what I see, Lina Ballerina." Willa gave her a look that said too much. Lina's stomach knotted.
"Well then, watch this." Lina grabbed a guy talking to a group of girls opposite them. She whirled him around and snaked her arms around his neck.
"Hi." She breathed, her voice soft and s.e.xy. The voice she practiced in the mirror at night.
"Whoa."
Stale vodka breath washed over her face. Her new friend had clearly had one drink too many, but that didn't matter. Not now. Not to Lina. She pressed her lips against his. They were wet and soft, like slugs. He tasted of alcohol and cigarettes. Lina's first instinct was to gag and pull away, but she forced herself further into his embrace, using her tongue to gently open his mouth, willing herself to feel the warm ache that her friends described when they kissed boys.
But there was nothing. As usual Lina was numb.
He pulled away from her. "Um, I have a girlfriend, so ..."
"Right. Well, if you don't tell, I won't." Lina laughed even though she felt like crying.
Willa was still standing a couple feet away, watching her carefully.
The boy stumbled away, shaking his head.
"You know you don't have to do that. We don't care how many guys you kiss, Lina." Willa put her hand on her shoulder and looked her friend directly in the eye. Lina turned away from the piercing blue. Sometimes Willa not only said too much with her gaze, but she saw too much as well. More than Lina wanted her to see.
"It's just a game though, right, Lina?" The hopefulness in Sloane's voice made Lina want to cry. The worst part was that Sloane was right. It was a game to Lina, just a different one than her friend thought she was playing.
"I ... um ... I have to pee. I'll be back."
Lina ducked away from the girls and headed toward the stairs. She felt better after escaping the crush of people on the deck; it was calmer, quieter. She wound her way down the steps in search of one of the yacht's many bathrooms. As she wandered the narrow hallways, she realized this yacht was more of a cruise s.h.i.+p, and that this cruise s.h.i.+p was way nicer than any house she'd ever been in.
The espresso hardwood floors shone beneath her feet. Doors opened on room after room, each boasting an enormous bed wrapped in a crisp duvet, the windows offering a killer view of the dark water and clear night sky. At the center of the s.h.i.+p there was a lounge, all supple leather couches and enormous chaise lounges. The Gregorys didn't have to keep up with anyone. Everyone was trying to keep up with them.
When Lina finally came to a door that looked vaguely bathroom-like, she took a chance and pushed it open only to slam directly into one of the most beautiful girls she'd ever seen. Her chocolate skin glowed in the dim lights and her eyes matched the tiny waves licking the edge of the boat. Lush black hair hung down her back and her emerald green dress grazed the middle of her lean, muscled thighs. Lina was pretty sure the girl worked at the Club. She probably made a killing in tips every night.
"Oh, s.h.i.+t, I'm sorry. I didn't even knock." Lina crossed her arms in an attempt to hide the tattoos that lined them. She wanted to disappear and be noticed all at the same time. She settled for hunching forward and letting the longest strand of her white hair hide her eyes, as if that might make her look like less of a giant, awkward loser who had just barreled into a bathroom like some kind of cretin.
"Lina Winthrop?" The girl grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. "I've been meaning to introduce myself." All of the warmth that Lina had been hoping for in her random kiss upstairs poured into her stomach and flowed down her legs at the touch of the girl's hand.
This is what it's supposed to feel like.
She imagined the girl leaning closer, giving into everything she'd been trying to fight for the last eight years of her life. The girl's lips would graze her own, gentle and light like a b.u.t.terfly, and she'd tug Lina closer.
"It is Lina, right?" The girl pulled her eyebrows together in confusion and Lina shook her head.
"No, um, I mean yes. Yes, I'm Lina. And you are?" She sounded ruder than she meant to.
"Mari. I've seen you at the Club. I'm a server. Is everything all right? You look lost." Lina hadn't realized that Mari still held her hand. She squeezed gently and then leaned in close, her breath tickled Lina's neck. "Bet I can help." Blood rushed to Lina's cheeks, and it felt like her entire body was blus.h.i.+ng. And then, so fast she couldn't be sure if she'd just imagined it, she felt Mari's lips on her ear. "You look like you could use a drink." The girl giggled and handed Lina her gla.s.s.
Lina didn't think, she just tipped her head back and let the cool liquid slide down her throat. The drink burned its way down into her stomach, and she involuntarily squeezed her eyes shut as the alcohol coursed through her body. When she opened them, Mari's lips were just a breath away from her own, and more than she had ever wanted anything in her life, Lina wanted to close the s.p.a.ce.
But this wasn't how Lina had envisioned her night going. This wasn't who she envisioned spending her night with. This wasn't who Lina was supposed to be.
"I'm ... good, thanks. I've gotta go." Lina turned and rushed back up the stairs not caring what she looked like. She just had to get out of there. She had to stick with her original plan.
And like a sign from a G.o.d she never really believed in, the phone she'd been handed when she boarded the s.h.i.+p buzzed in her clutch.
Mariner's Cove. Now.
She was being summoned by her mystery date. Lina knew this was it. Tonight was the night she'd finally let go of everything and forget all of the other weird s.h.i.+t. She was just a normal girl who didn't really enjoy guys. s.e.xuality existed on a spectrum like anything else, and she happened to fall in the place where it didn't feel all that good. Maybe if she finally got it over with, maybe then she'd feel differently. Surely instinct would take over. Or something. As Lina made her way through the winding hallways, the boat began to tip and sway. Her head swam. She couldn't quite find her footing. How strange. She must have drunk more than she realized.
When she finally found the room, she was happy to see the bed. She collapsed into its white expanse without even remembering what she was there to do.
Until she saw Trip Gregory.
"You made it."
Her mouth tried to form some type of response but her lips refused to move the right way.
"This is going to be fun. Promise." Trip smiled, the whites of his teeth blending together into a solid strip, his eyes spreading out and then in.
Lina began to fade. "My friends ... I ... um, I'm supposed to find them." The words slipped out of her mouth. She needed an escape. Something about Trip in the tiny room unsettled her.
"They're fine. Willa's with James. It's just you and me."
Those were the last words she remembered him saying before she blacked out completely.
Later, when her eyes fluttered open, Lina was alone. She heard the fireworks exploding outside the window. Her heavy eyelids only allowed her to see the briefest flashes of red, white, and blue. She wished she were on deck so she could really see them. There was something cozy about fireworks, the way they warmed the night sky, their burnt campfire smell. But tonight she was so tired. It was impossible to keep her eyes open, like there was someone scrubbing her corneas with tiny brillo pads. Sleep seemed to drown her, and this time when the darkness swallowed her up, she was too tired to try to claw her way out.
Minutes or hours or days later Lina opened her eyes and came to a few realizations rather quickly. The first was that she was fully dressed. The second was that the bed was wet. The third was that she wasn't alone.
She remembered the fireworks, her dry mouth, and heavy eyes. And then Trip. What the h.e.l.l had he done to her?
But when Lina rolled over to examine the snoring boy pa.s.sed out next to her, Trip was nowhere to be found.
Instead, Lina was sleeping next to a very soaked, very unconscious James Gregory.