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BloodSport.
d.i.c.kFrancis.
CHAPTERONE.
Iawokewithforeboding.MyhandclosedinareflexontheLugerunderthepillow.Ilistened,acutelyattentive.Nosound.Noquicksurrept.i.tiousslither,norubofclothoncloth,nohalf-controlledpulse-drivenbreath.Noenemyhovering.Slowly,relaxing,Iturnedhalfoverandsquintedattheroom.Aquiet,empty,uglyroom.OnethirdofwhatforwantofalesscosywordIcalledhome.
Brightsuns.h.i.+neby-pa.s.sedthethinpinkcurtains,spillingagoldslashonthefadedbrownWilton.Ididn'tlikepink.AlsoIdidn'thavetheenergyitwouldtaketoarguethelandlordintochangingtoblue.AftereightmonthsIknewheneverrenewedanythinguntilithadfallentobits.
Inspiteoftheprevailingcalmthefeelingofforebodingdeepenedandthenidentifieditselfanddissolvedintoalessthreatening,moregeneralstateofgloom.Sundaymorning,June20th.Thebeginningofthreeweeks'leave.
Irolledbackontomystomachandshutmyeyesagainstthesun,andtookmyhandsixinchesfromtheLuger,whichwasfarenough,andwonderedhowlongamancouldsleepifhereallyputhismindtoit.Evenamanwhoneversleptsoundlytostartwith.Threeweeks,thethreeobligatoryoverdueweekscouldbegotthroughmoreeasilyasleep.
Threemillenniumsofsleeplayunderthepillow.Theninemillimetreequaliser,myinseparablefriend.Itwentwithmeeverywhere,tobeaches,tobathrooms,tobedsotherthanmyown.Itwastheretosavemylife.Nottotakeit.Ihadlivedthroughalotoftemptations,andIlivedwiththattoo.
Thetelephonebellputpaidtothethreeweeksbeforetheyhadgonehalfanhour.
'Lo,'Isaidblearily,balancingthereceiveronthepillow.
'Gene?'
'Uhhuh.'
'Youhaven'tgoneawaythen.'Therewasreliefinthevoice,thevoiceofmyboss.Ilookedatmywatch.Teno'clock.
'No,'Isaidunnecessarily.HeknewIwasn'tgoingaway.Ididn'tunderstandhisrelief.Itwasmissingwhenhespokeagain.
'Howaboutadayontheriver?'
HehadamotorcruisersomewhereontheupperThames.I'dneverseenit.Hadn'tbeenaskedbefore.
'Invitationororder?'Isaid,yawning.
Hehesitated.'Whicheveryou'llaccept.'
Whataman.Youdidmoreforhimthanyoubelievedyouwould,everytime.
'WheredoIgo,andwhen?'
'Mydaughterwillfetchyou,'hesaid.'She'llbethereinabouthalfanhour.Familyparty.Boatingclothes.Comeasyouare.'
'Sure,'Isaid.Completewithstubble,Lugerandshorts.Ariot.Ineverworepyjamas.Theyslowedyouuptoomuch.
Boatingclothes,Idecided,weregreyishbrowncottontrousersandanolivegreennylonjerseys.h.i.+rt.IcarriedtheLugerwithmeinthelefthandpocketwhenthedoorbellrang.Oneneverreallyknew.Butalookthroughthewide-angledspyholeshoweditwasonlyKeeble'sdaughter,asarranged.Iopenedup.
'MrHawkins?'shesaidhesitantly,lookingfrommetothedingybra.s.ssixscrewedontothesoliddarkstainedwood.
'That'sright.'Ismiled.'Comein.'
ShewalkedpastmeandIshutthedoor,interestedtonoticethatfourflightsofstairshadn'tleftherbreathless,astheydidmostvisitors.Ilivedhighupforthatpurpose.
'Iwasjustfinis.h.i.+ngmycoffee,'Isaid.'Wouldyoulikesome?'
'It'sverykindofyou,butDaddysaidnottowastetime,hewantstobeoffuprivera.s.soonaspossible.'
Keeble'sdaughterwasjustlikeherphotographonDaddy'sdesk.Halfwoman,stillatschool.Shortbouncydarkhair,andwatchfuldarkeyes,aroundedbodyslimmingdown,aself-possessedtouch-me-notexpression,andanendearinggauche-nessinherpresentsituation.
Shelookedcautiouslyroundthesitting-room,whichneithershenorInoranyoneelsewouldhavecla.s.sedaselegantliving.
Thelandlord'sfurniturewasjunk-shopstuffandIhadmadenoefforttoimproveit.Mytotalcontributionstothesceneweretworowsofbooksonth.e.s.h.elvesandinonecorneratintrunkofoddmentswhichIhadneverbotheredtounpack.Adrawnbackcurtainrevealedthekitchenalcoveanditsentirecontents:cupboard,refrigerator,sink,andcooker,allofthemshowingtheirage.
Onewentthroughthesitting-roomtothebedroom,throughthebedroomtothebathroom,andthroughthebathroomtothefireescape.Theflathadeverythingbutadrawbridgeandamoat,andithadtakenmeweekstofindit.Onlythetinyspygla.s.shadbeenlacking,andthelandlordhadbeenfuriouswhenhefinallynoticedIhadinstalledit.Ithadcostmethreemonthsrentinadvancetoconvincehimitwasn'tthereforthesolepurpos...o...b..ingoutwhenhecame.
IwatchedKeeble'sdaughtersearchforsomethingnicetosayaboutmylivingquartersandgiveupthestrugglewithadefeatedshakeofheryounghead.IcouldhavetoldherthatIhadoncehadabetterflat,as.p.a.ciouscomfortablefirst-floorfrontwithabalconyoverlookingatree-dottedsquare.Ithadprovedtooaccessibletounwantedguests.Ihadvacateditonastretcher.
'I'llfetchmyjacket,'Isaid,finis.h.i.+ngthecoffee.'Andthenwe'llgo.'
Shenodded,lookingrelieved,oppressedalreadybytheemptinessofmyhomelife.Fiveminutesofithadbeenenough,forher.
Iwentintothebedroom,pickedthejacketoffthebedandtransferredtheLugerfrommytrousersintoitsbuilt-inunderarmholster,fasteningittherewithapressstudonastrap.Then,coatoverarm,Idumpedthedirtycoffeecupinthesink,pulledthecurtainacrossthekitchen,openedthefrontdoor,andletmyselfandMissKeebleout.
FouruneventfulstoreysdownweemergedintothequietsunlitPutneystreet,andshelookedbackandupatthesolidoldconvertedhouse.Itneededpaintandoozedrespectability,exactlylikeitsrowofneighbours.
'Iwasn'tsureI'dcometotherightplace.Daddyjustsaidthefourthhousealong.'
'Hegivesmealifthome,sometimes.'
'Yes,hesaidso.'SheturnedtothewhiteAustinstandingatthekerbandpausedwiththekeyinherhand.'DoyoumindifIdrive?'
'Ofcoursenot.'
Shesmiledforthefirsttimesinceshe'darrived,aquickflas.h.i.+ngaffairwhichvergedonfriendliness.Sheunlockedherdoor,climbedin,andreachedovertounlatchtheoppositeoneforme.ThefirstthingInoticedas1benttogetinweretheLplateslyingonthebackseat.
'Whendidyoupa.s.sthetest?'Isaidmildly.
'Well...'thesmilelingered,'asamatteroffact,yesterday.'
Forallthat,shedroveverywell,carefulbutconfident,quietwiththegearsthoughabitheavywiththehandsignals.ShecreptsomewhattentativelyaroundtheChiswickroundaboutanduptheslopetotheM4.ThebigbluemotorwaysignsaidnoLdriversandhernosetwitchedmischievouslyaswepa.s.sedit.
'Didyoucomethiswaytofetchme?'Iaskedidly.
Sheedgedintotheslowlaneandhitforty.
'Er,no.IliveinahostelwithaboutsixtyothergirlsinSouthKen.DaddyjustrangmeandsaidasI'dgotthecarupinLondonthisweek-endIcouldcollectyouandmeethiminHenley.Sortofspurofthemomentthing.'
'Isee.'
Wecametotheendofthefiftymileanhourlimitandherfootwentdownwithdetermination 'DoIscareyou?'Theneedlequiveredonsixty-five.
Ismiledwryly.'No.'
'Actually...'Herhandsgrippedthewheelwiththetensionofinexperience.'Actually,youdon'tlookasifyou'dscareeasily.'
Iglancedatherinsurprise.Ilookordinary.Quietandordinary.Andveryusefulitis,too.
'Anyway,'shewentonfrankly,IaskedDaddyaboutcomingthisway,andhesaidheguessedyournerveswouldstandit.Heseemedtofinditveryfunny,forsomereasonorother.'
'Hehas.h.i.+sownbrandofhumour.'
'Mm.'Shedroveonforseveralmilesinsilence,concentratingontheroad.Thespeeddroppedslowlydowntofiftyagain,andIguessedshewasfindingthemotorwaynotsuchpurefuna.s.she'dimagined.TheusualnumberofSundayJimClarkswereshowingoffinthefastlaneandfamilyoutingswithGrandmadrivingfromthebackseatwereb.u.mblingaboutintheslow.Wewentdownthecentreandpulledoutbravelynowandthentopa.s.sanairportbus.
Eventually,inthinnertrafficafterWindsor,shesaid,doubtfully,'Youdo...er...workforDaddy?'
'Yes.Whynot?'
'Well,noreasonwhynot.Imean,'shelookedembarra.s.sed,'Imean,Ican'trememberhimeveraskinganyonefromwork...well,hejustdoesn'tusually,that'sall.'Shelookedasifshewishedshehadn'tstarted.
'Akindthought,'Isuggested;andwonderedwhathewanted.Notjusttogivemeasunnydayout.As.h.i.+sdaughtersaid,hedidn'tdothatsortofthing.
WemadeittoHenleywiththepaintintact,andsheparkedneatlyinalargegravelledenclosurebytherailwaystation.Herhandstrembledslightlya.s.shelockedthedoors,andIrealisedthat.i.tmusthavebeenherlongestdrive,aswellasthefastest.
'Youdrovebeautifully,'Isaidsincerely.'Likeaveteran.'
'Oh.'shegavealaughwhichwashalfacough,andlookedrelievedandpleased.'Well,thankyou.'Shewouldbemorerelaxed,Iknew,onthewayback,andlessstrungupwhenshegotthere.Togiveandtoremoveconfidenceweretoolsofmytrade,andtherewasnouniontosayIcouldn'tusethemonSundays.
'FlyingLinnet...that'sourboat...willbesomewherealongthebank,'shesaid.'Itisn'tfar.'Shesmiledagainandgestured.'Thatway.'
Wewalkeddowntotheriverandalongtheneatlybuiltbroadtarmactowpath,wherehalfthetownseemedtobeoutfeedingtheducks.Thesunsparkledonthedarkgreenwaterandtherewasaqueueattheboatyardforrowingboatsandpunts.Thereweregardensandlawnsandseats,andabowlinggreen,andaplaygroundwithaslideandswings,allofthemsprinkledwithsunnySundayfacesandmurmuringsummervoices.Familiesandcouplesandgroups:fewalone.Threeweeksalone,Ithoughtbleakly.Icouldspendthembesidethedeepgreenriverfeedingducks,andjustjumpinwhenIcouldn'tstandanymoreofit.
'There'sDaddy,'saidKeeble'sdaughter,pointing.Thesunlayalongherlightbrownarmands.h.i.+ftedinburnttoffeeshadowsonthecurvesofherorangetandress.Tooyoungforme,Ithoughtinconsequentially.Orrather,Iwastooold.Aeonstooold.FortystilllayacoupleofyearsaheadbutIcouldhavetoldMethuselahathingortwo.
Keeblehadsteppedash.o.r.efromoneoftheboatsmooredtoptotailalongthetowpathandwaswalkingtowardsus,handoutstretched,welcomingsmileinface.Myboss,exceptforanopen-neckeds.h.i.+rt,lookedhisusualweekdayself,ashortslightlychubbymanwithamildmannerandafaintlyanxious.e.xpression.Thelightblue-greyeyesblinkedfreelyasusualbehindtheunimpressivespectaclesandasusualhehadmissedapatchwhileshaving.Prematurebaldnesshadmadehimlookfiftyatthirty-five,butfarfromregrettingthis,hebelieveditwasthecauseofhisrapidpromotionoverwellthatchedcontemporaries.Hemayhavebeenright.Helookedharmless,cautious,unambitious,oneofnature'ssafestplodders.Itwaseightyearssincehehadinheritedmealongwiththerestofthesetup,andtodiscernthecuttingbrainbehindthewafflehadtakenmetwominutesflat.
'Gene,'hesaid.'Gladyoucouldcome.'Hepumpedmyhandupanddownperfunctorily,thesocialgestureasmeaninglesstohimastome,andweexchangedsmilestomatch.Forhisdaughterthewarmthcamefromtheheart.ShekissedhimaffectionatelyonthecheekandhiseyesheldaglimmeringprideIhadneverseeninhimbefore.
'Well,Lynniemylove,yougotheresafely.OrdidyouletGenedothedriving?'
'Domeafavour,'shesaid.'Hedidn'tevenflinch.'
Keebleflickedmeanamusedglance,andIrepeatedthecomplimenttoherskill,withherfathernoddinghisthankstomeoverherhead,knowingexactlywhyIsaidit.
Theyturnedandbegantowalkbackalongthepath,gesturingtometocome.Keeble'sboat,theonetheystoppedat,wasagracefulneat-lookingfibregla.s.scruiserwithacabinforwardandalargeopenc.o.c.kpitattheback,thedecksspotlessandthechromiums.h.i.+ning.Sittingcasuallysidebysideonthepaleblueplasticupholsterywereamanandawoman,bothofwhomraisedsmilingfacesatourapproachandneitherofwhomgotup.
Lynniejumpeddownintotheboatandkissedthewoman,andKeeblesteppedcarefullyafter.
'Comeaboard,'hesaidtome,andagaininhistonetherewasachoice.Aninvitationoranorder,whicheverIwouldaccept.Ioptedfortheinvitation,andembarkedonmorethantheFlyingLinnet.
'MywifeJoan,'saidKeeble,stretchingahandtotheseatedwoman.'GeneHawkins,honey.'
JoanKeeblewasafrailbirdlikewomanwithacoynessofmannerleftoverfromthetimewhenshewaspretty.Shetwinkledhereyesatme,invitingadmiration.Isc.r.a.pedsomeup,andexchangedthenecessaryplat.i.tudesaboutweather,boating,anddrivingdaughters.Keeblewadedintothiswithawavetowardsthemansittingbesideher.
'Youtwohaven'tmet...'hehesitatedafraction.'Dave...Gene,thisisDaveTeller.'
Tellerstoodup,shookhandseconomically,andsaidhewasgladtoknowme.Heworeasloppywrinkledpaleblues.h.i.+rthangingoutoverpatchedcottontrousers,batteredplimsollsonhisfeet,andadirtyoldbaseballcaponhishead.American,welleducated,prosperous,a.s.sured:thecategoriesclickedoverfromhabitinmya.s.sessingmind.Alsohewasaleanmannear-ingfifty,withastrongbeakynose,straightforwardeyesandamarvellousdentist.
Keebleofferednoinformationbeyondthatbaldintroduction,butbustledaboutgettinghiss.h.i.+preadytoputtosea.HisyellintothecabinforacertainPetertocomeandhelpproducednoresults.Istuckmyheadthroughthedoorandsawaboyofabouttwelveengrossedinfittinganewrolloffilmintoasmallsimplecamera.
'Peter,'hisfatheryelled.
Peterheavedamartyredsigh,scrambledthebackofthecamerashut,andwentoutpastmewithhiseyesdownandhisfingerswindingthek.n.o.b.Sure-footed,hesteppedwithoutlookingontothenarrowsideoftheboatandfromtheretothetowpath.
'He'llfallinoneday,'Lynniesaidtotheworldingeneral.Herbrotherdidn'tevenhear.Stillconcentratingonhiscamerawithonehandhewa.s.slowlyuntyingtheropefromthemooringringwiththeother,crouchingdownonthetarmacinhiscleanblackjeansandgettingupwithtwolargedustypatchesontheknees.Pointinghisviewfinderatapa.s.singformationofducksheclickedtheshutterandwithaserious,absorbedexpressionwoundonthefilm.
FurtherupthepathKeebleandTellerwereundoingthebowrope,talkingamicablyinthesun.Lynnieandhermotherstraightenedthecus.h.i.+onsandcoiledtheropesandfussedaroundoveralotofnothing,chattingtrivialities.Iwonderedwhattheh.e.l.lIwasdoingthereandfeltoutofcontactwitheverythingaroundme.Notanewfeeling,butrecurringmoreoften.Thetwolevelsoflivingweregrowingfartherapart.Thedaytodaysociallevelhadlostallmeaning,andunderneath,wherethereshouldhavebeenrock,hadopenedavoidofshrivellingloneliness.Itwasgettingworse.Thepresentwasbadenough:thefutureanabyss.Onlyworkbroughtmysplinteringselfintoanysortofwhole,andIknewwellenoughthat.i.twastheworkitselfwhichhadstartedtheprocess.ThatandCaroline.Or,tobemoreaccurate,Caroline'shusband.
'Isay,holdthisrope,w.i.l.l.you?'Petersaid.Itookthewetsnakeheoffered.'Hi,'headded,seeingmeproperlyforthefirsttime,'Wh.o.a.reyou?'
'Anybody'sguess,'Isaidwithmoretruththansense,andhismotherstaredatmewithastonishmentandtoldhimmyname.
Keeblecamebackonboardandstartedtheengine.TellerstooduponthesmallforwarddeckandcastoffthebowropewhenKeebletoldhim,andPeterleft.i.tuntilalmosttoolatetoleaponboardwiththestern.Thecamerabouncedonthecordroundhisneck.'BirthdaypresentfromGran,'hesaidtoLynniewithpride.'Super,isn't.i.t.'
'You'lldropitintheriver,ifyouaren'tcareful.'
'Thisisonlymysecondfilm.Iusedthefirstoneupontheboysatschool.Doyouthinkthoseduckswillcomeoutallright?'
'Iexpectyouhadyourfingerovertheshutter.'
'I'vegotabookinthere.'Henoddedtothecabin,expertlysiftingouttheaffectionbehindhersarcasmandshowingnoresentment.'Ittellsyouaboutexposuresandfocuses.IthinkI'lljustcheckwhat.i.tsaysaboutsunnydays.Itwascloudydullallweekatschool.'
Idon'tbelonghere,Ithought.IwishedIwereasleep.
TheFlyingLinnetnosedupstreamthroughascatterofrow-boats,Keebleatthewheel,Tellersittingforwardstillonthecabinroof,andPetertryingtogetpastLynnieteasinghiminthecabindoorway.JoanKeeblesatdownonthewideseatacrossthebackandpattedtheplacenexttoherformetojoinher.WithaneffortIdidso,butafteraminuteortwo,inthemiddleofapparentlyidlehostessychat,shepulledmebacktoattentionbytryingdelicatelytofindoutwhoIwasandwhyIhadbeeninvited,whilenotwantingtohavemerealisethatshedidn'tknow.
Icouldplaythatsortofgameforever.Inferenceoninference.Ididn'tknowtheanswertowhywasIthere,b.u.t.thatsheneededtoaskit,thatindeedshehadaskedit,toldmeagreatdealaboutnon-contactbetweenKeebleandhiswife,andopenednewdoorsontoKeeblehimself.Iknewthenwhyhe'dneverbeforeaskedmehome.Itwasonethingtoemployamicroscope,butanothertoputoneselfunderthelens.Ithought.i.talltheodderthathe'ddoneitnow.
AsifhecouldfeelmymindonthebackofhisneckheturnedroundandsaidThelock'sjustahead.'Istoodupandjoinedhim,andPetergaveuphisstruggleandwentbacktohisdutywiththesternrope.
'MarshLock,'Lynniesaid,standingbesidemeandlookingforwardthroughthewindscreen.'Notaneasyone,fromthisside,goingupstream.'
WhenwegotnearerIsawwhatshemeant.Thebroadstretchofrivernarrowedabruptlytothelockgatesontheleftandtheweirontheright,alongside.Babywhirlpoolsandtrailsofbubblesmetusfiftyyardsaway,withlargereddiesandconvolutionsbubblingupaswewenton.Theboattendedtoswingsidewaysundertheirpower,andKeeblespunthewheelrapidlytokeepherstraight.Aheadofuswaterintonstumbledovertheweir,greenandbrownandsplas.h.i.+ngwhite,thunderingdowningreatcurvingleaps,smellingofmustinessandmud.