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"A few days."
"It's time to call Mama."
Meghann flinched. Her mouth trembled traitorously. "Okay."
"Tell Dad and Ali and the Bluesers they can come down to see me, too. Gina can always make me laugh."
Meghann heard the defeat in her sister's voice; even worse was the acceptance. She wanted to disagree, to make her sister angry enough to fight, but her voice had abandoned her. She shook her head.
"Yes, Meg," Claire said with a resolve that surprised Meg. "And now I'm going to go to sleep. I'm tired."
"It's the meds."
"Is it?" Claire smiled knowingly. "Good night. And take care of Bobby tonight, okay? Don't cut out on him. He's not as strong as he looks." Then she closed her eyes.
Meghann reached out. Being careful not to disturb the IV in Claire's arm, she held her hand. "You're going to be okay." She said it at least a dozen times; every time she expected a response, but one never came. A few minutes later, Bobby walked into the room, looking haggard. His eyes were red and swollen.
"She woke up," Meghann said gently. "And went back to sleep."
"d.a.m.n it." He took Claire's hand in his and squeezed it."Hey, baby. I'm back. I just went for a cup of coffee." He sighed, said quietly, "She's giving up."
"I know. She wants me to call everyone. Tell them to come see her. How do we tell Ali this?" Tears stung her eyes as she looked up at Bobby.
"I'll tell her," Claire said quietly, opening her eyes. She smiled tiredly at her husband. "Bobby," she breathed, reaching for him. "I love you."
Meghann couldn't stand there another second. Every breath her sister exhaled seemed to whisper good-bye. "I've got phone calls to make. Bye." She raced from the room.
Anything was better than standing there, trying to smile when it felt as if someone were ripping her heart apart. Even calling Mama.
It was late now; the night s.h.i.+ft was on duty and the hallways were quiet. She went to the bank of pay phones and dialed Mama's number.
Mama herself answered, sounding boozy and loud. "h.e.l.lo, Frank?"
"It's me, Mama. Meghann."
"Meggy? I thought you prowled the bars this time of night."
"Claire's sick."
"She's on her honeymoon."
"That was a month ago, Mama. Now she's in the hospital."
"This better not be one of your stunts, Meggy. Like the time you called me at work 'cause Claire had fallen out of bed and you thought she was paralyzed. I lost forty dollars in tips to find out she was asleep."
"I was eleven years old when that happened."
"Still and all."
"She has a brain tumor, Mama. The radiation treatments didn't work and no one has the guts to operate on her."
There was a long pause on the other end; then, "Will she be okay?"
"Yes," Meghann said because she couldn't imagine any other response. Then, very softly, she said, "Maybe not. You should come see her."
"I've got a Starbase IV Starbase IV event tomorrow at two, and a-" event tomorrow at two, and a-"
"Be here tomorrow or I call People People magazine and tell them you didn't visit your daughter who has a brain tumor." magazine and tell them you didn't visit your daughter who has a brain tumor."
It was a long moment before Mama said, "I'm no good with this sort of thing."
"None of us are, Mama." Meghann hung up without saying good-bye, then punched in the 800 number on her calling card and dialed Sam. The phone rang once and she lost her nerve. She couldn't tell Sam this over the phone.
She slammed the receiver onto the hook and went back to her sister's room.
Bobby stood by the bed, singing softly to Claire, who snored gently. It brought Meghann up short.
Bobby looked up at her. Tears glistened on his cheeks. "She hasn't opened her eyes again."
"She will. Keep singing. I'm sure she loves it."
"Yeah." His voice cracked.
Meg had never seen a man in so much pain; she knew the look in Bobby's eyes matched her own. "I'm going to go tell Sam in person. I can't give him this news over the phone. If Claire wakes up-" She caught herself. "When Claire wakes up, tell her I love her and I'll be back soon. Do you have your keys to my place?" Claire wakes up, tell her I love her and I'll be back soon. Do you have your keys to my place?"
"I'll sleep here tonight."
"Okay." Meghann wanted to say something else but didn't know what. So she left the room. She practically ran for her car. Once inside, she hit the gas and headed north.
Ninety minutes later, she reached Hayden. She slowed down through town, stopped at the light.
And there it was: the silver Quonset hut.
Joe Wyatt.
He's a radiologist. Probably one of the best in the country. It came rus.h.i.+ng back to her now, the stunning news that had been lost somehow, buried beneath a thick layer of grief. It came rus.h.i.+ng back to her now, the stunning news that had been lost somehow, buried beneath a thick layer of grief.
Dr. Joseph Wyatt. Of course. No wonder he'd looked familiar. His trial had been front-page news. She and her colleagues had speculated about his fate over many a beer. She'd been firmly in his camp, certain he'd be acquitted. It had never occurred to her to wonder what had become of him after the trial.
Now she knew. He'd run away, hidden out. But he was still one of the best radiologists in the country. He saw things-possibilities-no one else did. He saw things-possibilities-no one else did.
Yet when she'd come to him, sobbing about her sick sister, he'd done nothing. Nothing.
And he knew knew Claire. Claire.
"Son of a b.i.t.c.h." She glanced sideways. The envelope from the hospital was on the pa.s.senger seat.
She turned the wheel hard and slammed on the brakes, parking along the curb. Then she grabbed the envelope and marched toward the cabin.
She pounded on the door, screaming, until she heard footsteps coming from inside.
When he opened the door, saw her, and said "What-?" she shoved him in the chest so hard he stumbled backward.
"Hey, Joe. Invite me in." She kicked the door shut behind her.
"It's practically midnight."
"So it is, Doctor Doctor Wyatt." Wyatt."
He sank onto the sofa and looked up at her.
"You held me. You let me cry in your arms." Her voice trembled; the ache in her heart only made her madder. "And you offered a referral referral. What kind of man are you?"
"The kind who knows his hero days are behind him. If you know who I am, you know what I did."
"You killed your wife." At his flinch, she went on. "If I'd known your last name, I would have remembered. Your trial was a big deal in Seattle. The prosecution of the doctor who euthanized his dying wife."
"Euthanasia is a prettier word than manslaughter."
Some of the steam went out of her at the soft sadness in his voice. She'd learned about that kind of sorrow in the past month. "Look, Joe. In an ordinary world, I'd talk to you about what you did. I might even take you in my arms and tell you that I understand, that anyone with a drop of compa.s.sion in their soul would have done the same thing. That's what your acquittal meant. I might even ask you about the road you've been on, the journey that led one of the country's best radiologists to this place. But it's not an ordinary world for me right now. My sister is dying." She tripped over the word, felt the sting of tears. She tossed the oversize manila envelope on the coffee table in front of him. "These are her MRI films. Maybe you can help her."
"I let my license lapse. I can't practice medicine anymore. I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry? Sorry? You have the power to save people's lives and you hide out in this dump of a cabin drinking cheap scotch and feeling sorry for yourself? You selfish son of a b.i.t.c.h." She stared down at him, wanting to hate him, hurt him, but she couldn't imagine how to do either one. "I You have the power to save people's lives and you hide out in this dump of a cabin drinking cheap scotch and feeling sorry for yourself? You selfish son of a b.i.t.c.h." She stared down at him, wanting to hate him, hurt him, but she couldn't imagine how to do either one. "I cared cared about you." about you."
"I'm sorry," he said again.
"I'll send you an invitation to the funeral." She turned on her heel and headed for the door.
"Take this with you."
She stopped, gave him one last withering look. "No, Joe. You'll have to touch them. Throw them in the trash yourself. Try looking in the mirror after that."
Then she left. She made it all the way to her car before she started to cry.
Outside the trailer, Meg sat in her car, trying to compose herself. Every time she opened her compact to fix her makeup, she looked at her watery eyes and it made her cry all over again.
She wasn't sure how long she'd sat there, but at some point it started to rain. Drops thumped on the convertible's soft top and tapped on the winds.h.i.+eld.
Finally, she got out of the car and walked up to the trailer.
Sam opened the door before she even knocked. He stood there, frowning, his eyes already watery. "I wondered how long you were going to sit out there."
"I thought you didn't know I was here."
He tried to smile. "You always did think you were smarter than me."
"Not just you, Sam. I think I'm smarter than everyone." She wanted to smile but couldn't.
"How bad is it?"
"Bad." When she said it, the tears came back. She wiped them away.
"Come here," Sam said gently, opening his arms.
Meg hesitated.
"Come on."
She surged forward, let him hold her. She couldn't seem to stop crying. Then he was crying, too.
When they finally drew back, they stared at each other. Meg had no idea what to say.
Suddenly there were footsteps in the hallway. Ali came running out, dressed in pink footed pajamas, carrying her Groovy Girl. She looked up at Meg. "Do we get to go see Mommy now? Is she all better?"
Meg knelt down and pulled her niece into her arms, holding her tightly. "Yeah," she said in a throaty voice. "You get to see Mommy tomorrow."
Meghann tossed and turned all night, finally falling into a troubled sleep around dawn. When she woke up again, bleary-eyed and exhausted, she was surprised to see that it was 9:30. A quick check of the condo told her that Sam and Ali had already gone to the hospital. Bobby hadn't come home last night. She forced herself out of bed and stumbled into the shower. By the time she got to the hospital and parked, it was 10:00.
The waiting room was already full.
Gina sat in a chair by the windows, knitting a delicate pink blanket. Beside her, Karen and Charlotte were playing cribbage. Bobby stood at the window, staring out. At Meghann's entrance, he looked up. She could tell by his eyes that Claire had had a bad night. Ali sat at his feet, coloring.
"Aunt Meg," the little girl cried out, scampering to her feet.
Meghann scooped her niece into her arms and hugged her.
"Grandpa's in with Mommy. Can I go now? Can I?"
Meg looked at Bobby, who sighed and shrugged, as if to say, I can't take her I can't take her.
"Sure," Meg said. Slowly, dreading every step, she carried Ali down the long hallway.
At the closed door, she paused, pulled up a bright smile, and went inside.
Sam stood by Claire's bedside. He was crying and holding her hand.
Ali wiggled out of Meg's arms and slid to the floor. She immediately went to her grandfather, who picked her up. "What's the matter, Grandpa? Do you have something in your eye? One time Sammy Chan got poked in the eye and then Eliot Zane called him a crybaby."
Meghann and Claire exchanged a look.
"Leave my baby with me," Claire said, opening her arms. Ali didn't notice the way her mother winced at every movement, every touch.
Sam wiped his eyes and managed a smile. "I better go call that plumber. The pool filter sounds bad."