Public Secrets Part 18

plant more roses, though. Don't you?"

Emma's lip poked out a little as she moved her shoulders.

"We had a lovely garden when I was a girl," Bev continued desperately.

"I used to love to go out in the summer with a book and listen to

the bees hum. Sometimes I wouldn't read at all, but just dream. It's

funny, the first time I heard Brian's voice, I was in the garden."

"Did he live with you?"

She had Emma's attention now, Bev thought. It only took a mention of

Brian's name. "No. It was over the radio. It was their first

single-'Shadowland." It went .... "At night, midnight, when shadows

hug the moon."' Bev started the tune in her soft lilt, then stopped when

Emma picked it up in a clear, surprisingly strong alto.

"'And the land is hot and still, breathless I wait for you."' "Yes,

that's the one." Without realizing it, Bev reached out to stroke Emma's

hair. "I felt he was singing it just for me. I'm sure every girl did."

Emma said nothing for a moment, remembering how her mother had played it

over and over on the record player, drinking and weeping while the words

had echoed around the flat. "Did you like him because he sang the

song?"

"Yes. But after I met him, I liked him much more."

"Why did he go away?"

"His music, his work." Bev glanced down to see Emma's big eyes s.h.i.+ny

with tears. Here was kins.h.i.+p, where she hadn't wanted or expected it.

"Oh, Emma, I miss him too, but he'll be home in a few weeks."

"What if he doesn't come back?"

It was foolish, but Bev sometimes woke with that same awful fear in the

middle of the night. "Of course he will. A man like Brian needs people

to listen to his music, and he needs to be there while they do. He'll.

often go away, but he'll always come back. He loves you, and he loves

me." As much for comfort as to comfort, she took Emma's hand. "And

there's one more thing. Do you know where babies come from?"

"Men stick them in ladies, but then they don't want them."

Bev broke off an oath. She could cheerfully have throttled Jane at that

moment. Although Bev's own mother had always been reserved, unable to

speak of intimacy in more than a vague fas.h.i.+on, Bev firmly believed in

openness. "Men and women who love each other make babies together, and

most of the time they both want them very much. I have a baby right

here." She pressed Emma's hand against her stomach. "Your father's

baby. When it's born, it will be your brother or sister."

After a moment's hesitation, Emma slid her hand over Bev's stomach. She

didn't see how there could be a baby in there. Mrs. Perkins

across the alley had had a big bloated belly before little Donald had

come.

"Where is it?"

"Inside. It's very, very small now. It has almost six months more to

grow before it's time for it to come out."

"Will it like me?"

"I think so. Brian will be its Dad just like he's your Dad."

Enchanted, Emma began to stroke Bev's stomach as she sometimes stroked

Charlie. "I'll take good care of the baby. No one will hurt it."