Public Secrets Part 314

Emma mused.

"Babies change you." Bev sat on the arm of the sofa watching Samuel

sleep. "I've been wanting to talk to you alone."

Automatically Emma lifted a hand to the bruise on her temple. "There's

nothing to worry about."

Noting the gesture, Bev nodded. "I wanted to touch on that as well, but

there's something else. I'm not sure how you'll feel about it." One

deep breath, and she plunged. "Brian and I are going to have another

baby."

Emma stared, lips parted in surprise. "A baby?"

"I know. It surprised us too, though we have been trying." She lifted a

hand to her hair. "After all this time-I suppose it's crazy. I'm

almost forty-two."

"A baby," Emma repeated.

"Not to replace Darren," Bev said quickly. "Nothing could. And it

isn't that we don't love you as much as it's possible to love a

daughter, but-"

"A baby." With a laugh, Emma dragged Bev up and hugged her.

"Oh, I'm so glad. I'm so happy for you. For me. For all of us. When?"

"Near the end of summer." She pulled back to study Emma's face. What she

saw had tears rus.h.i.+ng to her eyes. "We were afraid you might be upset."

"Upset?" Emma brushed the back of her hand over her own cheeks. "Why

would I be upset?"

"It brings back memories. Brian and I have had to deal with ours. I

didn't think I would want another child, but, Emma, I want this one so

badly. I want it so much, for me, for Bri, but-I know how much you

loved Darren."

"We all loved him." As she had more than twenty years ago, she laid a

hand on Bev's stomach. "I already love this one. He's going to be

beautiful, and strong, and safe."

As she finished speaking, the lights went out. The instant fear clicked

in, making her grope for Bev's hand.

"It's all right," Bev said. "They'll have it fixed in a minute. I'm

right here."

"I'm okay." She was going to beat this too, she told herself This

hideous, hateful fear of the dark. "Maybe it's just the backstage

lights. I'll go see what's going on."

"I'll go with you."

"No." She took a step toward the door. She could barely see the outline

of it. Only a shadow in the dark. A rustling noise had her jolting.

The baby was stirring, she told herself as her mouth went dry. There

were no monsters, and she wasn't afraid of the dark.

She found the k.n.o.b, but instead of relief, she was struck by a wild,

unreasonable fear. She could see herself opening it. Opening it and

looking in. The baby was crying. Dizzy, she tried to understand if it

was the baby behind her, or the one in her mind.

Instinctively she s.n.a.t.c.hed her hand away. She wasn't to open it. She

didn't want to see. Inside her head the echo of her heart pounded like

a musical rhythm. An old song-mne she couldn't forget.

Not a dream, Emma reminded herself She was wide awake. And she had