Public Secrets Part 76

boy on. Robert Blackpool. I think I mentioned him."

"Yes. You said you had high hopes."

"And so I do. You'd like his style, Bri, which is why I want you to let

him recor. "On the Wing."$

Simple surprise had Brian pausing before he drank again. "We always

record our own music."

"So you have, thus far. But it's good business all around to expand a

bit." Pete waited a moment, gauging Brian's mood. Because he sensed it

was more responsive than he'd expected, he pressed on. "You pulled that

particular piece from the last alb.u.m, and it suits Blackpool to the

ground. It wouldn't hurt to have a new artist record a ditty you and

Johnno turned out. In fact in this case it'll only enhance your

reputations as songwriters."

"I don't know." He rubbed his hands over his eyes. It didn't seem to

matter. "I'll run it by Johnno."

"I already have." Pete smiled. "He's agreeable if you are."

BRiAN FOUND BEV IN DARREN'S R00m. Though it cost him, he went inside,

trying not to look at the empty crib, at the toys neatly stacked on the

shelves, at the huge teddy bear he and Bev had bought before Darren had

been born.

"Bev." He laid a hand on hers and waited, fruitlessly, for her to look

at him.

She was too thin. The bones in her face were too prominent for elegance

now. The l.u.s.ter in her eyes, her hair, her skin was gone. He found

himself gritting his teeth to keep from grabbing her by the shoulders

and shaking her until life bloomed in her again.

"Bev, I was hoping you'd come down and have some tea."

She could smell the liquor. It turned her stomach. How could he sit

and drink and scribble his music? She took her hand from his and laid

it in her lap. "I don't want any tea."

"I have some news. P.M."s gotten himself mained."

She looked at him then, a flick of a disinterested glance.

"He was hoping we'd come out for a short while. He'd like to show off

his house at the beach and his chesty new wife."

"I'll never go back there." There was such quick, angry violence in her

voice, he nearly stepped back. But it wasn't emotion that stunned him

nearly so much as the look in her eyes when they met his. Loathing.

"What do you want from me?" he demanded. lie bent close, gripping both

arms of the rocker. "What the h.e.l.l do you want?"

"Just leave me alone."

"I have left you alone. I've left you alone to sit in here hour after

hour. I've left you alone when I've needed so badly just to hold on to

you. And at night, I've left you alone when I've waited for you to turn

to me. Just once to turn to me. G.o.dd.a.m.n you, Bev, he was mine, too."

She said nothing, but the tears began. When he reached for her, she

jerked away. "Don't touch me. I can't bear it." When he backed off,

she slipped out of the chair to go to the crib.

"You can't bear me to touch you," he began as his fury built. "You

can't stand me to took at you, or speak to you. Hour after hour, day

after day, you sit in here as if you're the only one who hurts. It's