The Clothes Have No Emperor Part 26

11/10/87.

The New York Post New York Post conducts a survey of the drug use of various politicians, among them Richard Nixon. "He has never smoked pot," says spokesman John Taylor. And how does he know? "I just feel absolutely certain about it. Don't you?" conducts a survey of the drug use of various politicians, among them Richard Nixon. "He has never smoked pot," says spokesman John Taylor. And how does he know? "I just feel absolutely certain about it. Don't you?"

11/10/87.

"He's no embarra.s.sment to me."

--President Reagan responding to a query about whether Ed Meese has, perhaps, become something of an, er, embarra.s.sment 11/11/87.

Claiming that his recent judicial fiascos have "made all of us a bit wiser," President Reagan names conservative Anthony Kennedy as his third choice for the Powell seat. Reaffirming his support for Ed Meese who columnist James J. Kilpatrick, a former ally, has called "that consummate bungler" he embraces his Attorney General, who then returns to the US Courthouse to resume his sixth appearance before a federal grand jury.

11/11/87.

Attending a Veteran's Day service at the Vietnam War Memorial, Bob Hope says the day "brings back a lot of memories to me 'cause, you know, I saw nine years of ... those kids laughing and cheering ... but I never realized till I saw Platoon Platoon what really went on with the serious stuff." what really went on with the serious stuff."

11/17/87.

"Caribou like the pipeline. They lean up against it, have a lot of babies, scratch on it. There's more d.a.m.n caribou than you can shake a stick at."

--George Bush scoffing at environmentalists who had feared the Alaska oil pipeline would cut into the caribou population 11/18/87.

The Iran-contra committee's final report says President Reagan bears ultimate responsibility for the scandal because he failed to carry out his oath to "take care that the laws be faithfully executed." Ed Meese is singled out for having "poorly served" the President first, with his advice on the legality of the arms deal, and then when he "departed from standard investigative techniques" in conducting his probe. Eight of the panel's most rabid Reaganites among them, of course, Orrin Hatch issue a minority report labeling the hearings a "witch hunt" and the findings of the majority "hysterical."

11/20/87.

The Administration announces an immigration agreement that will send more than 2,500 Cuban prisoners in US jails home against their wishes. For some reason, Ed Meese fails to antic.i.p.ate prisoner reaction, and is surprised when inmates in Atlanta and Louisiana, with nothing really to lose, seize hostages. Though Meese agrees to a moratorium on deportations, the uprising continues for more than a week.

11/26/87.

Howard Baker reveals that the Iran-contra committee's report was "personally hurtful" to President Reagan. "He really, really did not like it," says Baker, "and really, really feels personally put upon by many of the implications and many of the a.s.sertions."

11/30/87.

Michael Deaver's White House memoir, Behind the Scenes Behind the Scenes, is excerpted in Life Life. The highlight involves a 1980 incident in which the Reagans found themselves taking part in a communion service. Nancy "hissed, 'Are those people drinking out of the same cup?'" and was a.s.sured that all she had to do was dip her wafer into the chalice. Unfortunately, she dropped it in by mistake and thus prompted her husband, who had been told to follow her lead as if he had to be to toss his wafer in as well, leaving the pastor "shaking his head as these blobs of gunk floated in the chalice."

DECEMBER 1987.

12/4/87.

Was.h.i.+ngton Post: MEESE NOT YET IN COMPLIANCE WITH ETHICS RULES / FIVE MONTHS AFTER PROMISE, FINANCIAL DISCLOSURES REMAIN INSUFFICIENT 12/7/87.

On the eve of the third US-Soviet summit, Rona Barrett complains to Soviet spokesman Vladimir Posner that Americans don't see nearly enough "attractive" Russians, and that they should stop wearing those ugly "fur hats." Posner explains that the hats are worn as protection against the extreme cold.

12/8/87.

Before signing an arms treaty, President Reagan once again cites his favorite Russian proverb, "Doveryai, no proveryai trust, but verify." An exasperated Mikhail Gorbachev says, "You repeat that at every meeting!" Afterward, the President claims to have "an entirely different relations.h.i.+p" with Gorbachev "than I had with his predecessors," none of whom he ever met.

12/9/87.

Dismissing reports of their mutual loathing as "so silly, so silly," Nancy Reagan gives Raisa Gorbachev a tour of the White House. She is stymied by several of her guest's questions, such as, "When was it built?"

12/9/87.

Columnist Jack Anderson reports that Gorbachev's decision to stay at the Soviet Emba.s.sy has thwarted CIA plans to collect a specimen of his stool.

12/10/87.

Mikhail Gorbachev suddenly lunges out of his limousine in front of Duke Zeibert's Was.h.i.+ngton restaurant, where he is mobbed by well-wishers while George Bush stands by unmobbed. Observes rival 1988 presidential candidate Jack Kemp's press secretary John Buckley, "When George Bush stands next to Reagan, he looks smaller than life. When he stands next to Gorbachev, he looks like a bonsai tree."

12/13/87.

The Orange County Register reports that a test of 24 bills of various denominations collected at random in California's staunchest conservative enclave shows all of them to contain traces of cocaine. reports that a test of 24 bills of various denominations collected at random in California's staunchest conservative enclave shows all of them to contain traces of cocaine.

12/14/87.

Having lost $30,000 marketing his Ollie North doll, John Lee Hudson announces that he is padding them with extra stuffing and revamping them as Gorbachev dolls. "The birthmark will be there," says Hudson. "It'll be tricky. You don't want to make him look like a weirdo."

12/15/87.

"Let the people decide. I'm back in the race!"

--Gary Hart, with Lee at his side, announcing his re-entry into the presidential contest 12/15/87.

President Reagan is asked how he responded to Mikhail Gorbachev's offer to cut aid to the Sandinistas. He consults a note card and says, "This is a subject we are going to be discussing for quite some time."

12/16/87.

"When I disagreed with him he heard it from me. I didn't sit there at his side to say 'yeah' to every c.o.c.kamamie idea that came before the President and then claim I didn't know about it afterwards unless it was a winner."

--Alexander Haig describing the differences between his relations.h.i.+p with President Reagan and George Bush's 12/16/87.

Michael Deaver is convicted of three counts of perjury. A journalist on the phone with a White House aide when another aide burst into the room with the news reports that both "roared with laughter."

12/19/87.

Was.h.i.+ngton Post: LARGE DISCREPANCY IN MEESE TRUST FUND / ADVISER INVESTED MORE THAN ACCOUNT HELD 12/22/87.

Ed Meese's lawyer and friend of 30 years e. robert wallach (who prefers to spell his name sans capital letters) is indicted on racketeering, fraud and conspiracy charges in connection with the Wedtech scandal, as is Ed Meese's financial consultant W. Franklyn Chinn.

12/28/87.

Gary Hart is declared eligible for the federal matching funds he was ent.i.tled to when he withdrew in May. Many observers think the money needed to pay off outstanding debts is the entire reason for Hart's re-entry.

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JANUARY 1988.

1/4/88.

Jesse Jackson reveals that he was once dependent on a painkiller, though it happened more than a quarter century ago and lasted for less than a day.

1/7/88.

Was.h.i.+ngton Post: BUSH REGULARLY ATTENDED MEETINGS ON IRAN SALES / RECORDS INDICATE KNOWLEDGE UNDERSTATED 1/10/88.

Employing the Nixonian tactic of downplaying bad deeds by citing others similarly guilty, Gary Hart points out, "If I am elected I won't be the first adulterer in the White House. I may be the first one to have publicly confessed." He then says, "One could argue I wouldn't that Ronald Reagan walked away from a marriage," thus employing the Nixonian tactic of pointing out something unpleasant while seeking credit for not pointing it out.

1/12/88.

Was.h.i.+ngton Post: MEESE'S ACTIONS ON PHONE REGULATION PROBED / INDEPENDENT COUNSEL MCKAY STUDYING POSSIBLE CONFLICT-OF-INTEREST VIOLATION 1/15/88.

Michael Deaver in need of cash to pay his legal bills holds a tag sale to sell off the contents of his offices.

1/15/88.

Oddsmaker Jimmy (the Greek) Snyder celebrates Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday by discussing civil rights in the world of sports. "If they take over coaching like everybody wants them to," he says of blacks, "there's not going to be anything left for white people ... I'm telling you that the black is the better athlete ... This goes all the way to the Civil War when, during the slave trading, the owner, the slave owner, would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have a big black kid, see. That's where it all started." CBS fires him.

1/18/88.

Questioned about abortion by an Iowa high school student, George Bush grabs a page out of her hand, finds that it's a Jack Kemp flyer, holds it up and, with a considerable flourish, tears it into pieces. "Finis!" he cries.

1/18/88.

The National Enquirer National Enquirer reports that, Nancy Reagan issued a White House edict "No more Sinatra" after reading what Frank had to say about her and Ronnie in reports that, Nancy Reagan issued a White House edict "No more Sinatra" after reading what Frank had to say about her and Ronnie in His Way His Way.

1/20/88.

President Reagan begins his last year in office with a pep rally for his staff. "As they say in show biz," he says, "let's bring them to their feet with our closing act."

1/25/88.

President Reagan's final State of the Union address is overshadowed by a live TV encounter between George Bush and Dan Rather. Bush who has been psyched into a near-frenzy by media guru Roger Ailes petulantly dismisses Rather's questions about his still-murky involvement in the Iran-contra scandal. "It's not fair to judge my whole career by a rehash on Iran," whines Bush. "How would you like it if I judged your career by those seven minutes when you walked off the set in New York?" Rather (whose six-minute tantrum occurred in Miami) shouts back, "Mr. Vice President, you've made us hypocrites in the face of the world! How could you?" Afterward, Bush crows, "The b.a.s.t.a.r.d didn't lay a glove on me."

1/26/88.

"Macho!"

--George W. Bush at campaign headquarters, raising both fists in tribute to his big brave dad, who says, "I need combat pay for last night, I'll tell you ... You know, it's Tension City when you're in there"

1/27/88.

"I wasn't there. Well, maybe I was there but I didn't hear anything. Well, maybe I heard something but I don't remember what. Anyway, after all this time, n.o.body cares what I did."

--Columnist Lars-Erik Nelson summing up the Bush Iran-contra defense 1/30/88.

New York Times: ABORTION ADVICE BARRED AT FEDERALLY AIDED CLINICS FEBRUARY 1988.

2/2/88.

"I do not recall having read the specific words that have now mushroomed into importance."

--Ed Meese, again citing his trusty selective memory to explain his failure to take action after receiving a memo telling of the planned bribing of Israeli officials in connection with an Iraqi oil pipeline 2/3/88.

Los Angeles Times: MEESE VAGUE IN NOFZIGER TESTIMONY / 29 TIMES HE a.s.sERTS NOT RECALLING ACTS IN LOBBYING CASE 2/4/88.

Anthony Kennedy, 51, is confirmed as Supreme Court Justice, 97-0.

2/4/88.

Furious at what he perceives as the Bush campaign's unfair attacks on his wife Liddy, Bob Dole gives vent to his lifetime of loathing the George Bushes of the world. Storming on to the Senate floor, he confronts the Vice President in full view of TV cameras, waving a piece of paper in his face. Bush dealing with an angry adult male instead of a teen-age girl does not grab the page and scream, "Finis!"

2/5/88.

At a surprise party for the President's upcoming 77th birthday, Marvin Hamlisch introduces "He's Our Man (The Ronald Reagan March)," a song commissioned by the First Lady: "He's our man / And he's giving his best / He's our man / And he's up to the test / He has done the job the best that anyone can." Reagan observes that the event is "the 38th anniversary of my 39th birthday."

2/5/88.

Arizona governor Evan Mecham who has recently observed, "I'm not sure but what maybe we have become a bit too much of a democracy" is impeached by the state House of Representatives for obstruction of justice. Though he suggests that his accusers will be torn "to bits" by his lawyers, what actually happens is that he's convicted and removed from office.

2/5/88.

"It's gotten to the point where I think some of the people are embarra.s.sed saying at a c.o.c.ktail party that they work for the Justice Department. You see the person you're talking to jump back in alarm."

--Justice Department official describing morale under the tenure of Ed Meese 2/8/88.

Missouri congressman Richard Gephardt edges past Illinois senator Paul Simon to win the Iowa Democratic caucus, with Michael Dukakis third. Finis.h.i.+ng last, with .3% of the vote: Gary Hart. Sen. Bob Dole wins on the Republican side, drawing twice as many votes as George Bush, who finishes third behind Pat Robertson. Dan Rather happily describes Bush's defeat as a "humiliation."

2/11/88.

"It's a lousy law."

--Lyn Nofziger on being convicted of three counts of illegal lobbying in the Wedtech case, for which he gets 90 days and a $30,000 fine 2/14/88.

At the Republican debate in New Hamps.h.i.+re, Pat Robertson claims to be in possession of information about Soviet missiles hidden in Cuban caves. "n.o.body can say for certain," he points out, "that those missiles aren't there."

2/14/88.

George Bush is asked who he'd pick as his running mate. "I haven't selected her her," he says. "But let me tell you, this gender thing is history. You're looking at a guy who sat down with Margaret Thatcher across the table and talked about serious issues."

2/16/88.

Officials of Augsburg College in Minneapolis decide not to name a wing of a new building after alumnus Elroy Stock who donated $500,000 to the school when they learn that he has sent approximately 100,000 hate letters to interracial couples.

2/16/88.

As expected, neighboring governor Michael Dukakis wins the New Hamps.h.i.+re Democratic primary. Gary Hart finishes last with 4%. Meanwhile, Bob Dole loses to George Bush, 38%-29%. Tom Brokaw, interviewing them both by satellite, asks if they have any messages for each other. "Just wish him well and we'll meet him in the South," says Bush. And Senator Dole, any message for the winner? "Yeah," snarls Dole, "tell him to stop lying about my record."