A Dialogue Between Dean Swift and Tho. Prior, Esq. Part 1

A Dialogue Between Dean Swift and Tho. Prior, Esq.

by Anonymous.

In the Isles of St. _Patrick's_ Church, _Dublin, Oct. 9, 1753_.

PRIOR. Mr. Dean, I am sorry to see you up, if any of your private Affairs disturb you. I came to call at your Grave, and have a little Discourse with you; but unless 'tis the Publick has rouz'd you, I am troubled to find you walking as well as my self.

SWIFT. 'Tis my Country keeps me walking! why who can lie still? I don't believe there are many Ghosts now, that have any share of Understanding, or any regard for _Ireland_, that are to be found in their Graves at Midnight. For my part I can no more keep in my Den than if it were the Day of Judgment. I have been earth'd now eight Years last _October_, and I think on my Conscience (and you know _Tom_ the Conscience of one dead Man is worth ten of those that are living) I have had very few good Days Sleep since I got there. Ah _Tom_! poor _Ireland_! poor _Ireland_! it plagued my Heart while I was trifling away Life there; but my Curse on it, I never thought it would have broke my Rest thus when I was dead. I have tumbled and toss'd from one Side to the other (and by the by, they make these cursed Coffins so narrow 'tis a Plague to be in them) first one Thing would come into my Head, and then another, and often wrought me so, that I have many a time been forced to walk a whole Moon to rest me and get the better Nap when I lay down.

Prithee how have you done?

PRIOR. Why, very little better; only as I have not been so long shut up in my Dormitory as you, the Confinement is less irksome. But I was not affected the same way with you, for I sometimes slept for Months together like a Dormouse; but when _Ireland_ once gets into my Head and its present melancholy Circ.u.mstances, it works my Thoughts upwards and downwards from the Great Ones to their Slaves, like a poor Patient with _Ward_'s Drop and Pill.

SWIFT. That has often been my Case _Tom_. When I get into that Train of thinking, and consider the present Situation of our Country, it makes me as uneasy in my Coffin as a Rat shut up in a Trap. I remember an old She[1] Fool, that was fonder of scribling than reigning, used to say, that the Dead have that melancholy Advantage over the Living of first forgetting them; but 'tis as false as ten thousand other Truths, that your Philosophers and Politicians above Ground keep such a babling with over our Heads. For my part I never had that Pleasure, for since my first Nap under my Gravestone, which did not last three Weeks, I have been as much perplex'd about _Ireland_, as if I was still living at the Deanry, writing for Posterity, and thinking for my poor Country. What makes you sigh so _Tom_? Why you draw your Breath as hard as a broken-winded Racer; some Qualm I suppose about this neglected Island.

[1] Queen _Christina_ of _Sweden_.

PRIOR. That was the Case indeed. But tho' I am chiefly grieved at the ill Circ.u.mstances of _I----d_, my next trouble is, that the World seems resolved they shall never mend; and, I think so, by their treating all true Patriots in the most unhandsome Manner. This is as mad a Measure, as imprisoning the Physicians in an epidemical Sickness would be. Yet such Men, who only could heal our Distempers, are treated almost as common Poisoners, and watch'd as if they were Incendiaries and the Enemies of Society. It was too much our own Case when we were among Men, and tho' I scorn to lament the indifferent Treatment Dean _Swift_ and _Tom Prior_ received from those who should have respected and honoured them; yet I cannot help being concerned for the hard Usage all true Patriots generally meet with in _I----d_. Their Writings, tho'

ever so disinterested are treated as so many mercenary Productions of the Press; their Zeal and their Motives are ever suspected, as false and personated, and most Governments look on such Authors at best, as so many out-lying Deer, and give all the World leave to hunt them and run them down. I am sure, as to my Particular, I may justly say, I found it so; for, as I well knew, that writing with a Design to please or serve others, ends, generally, either in Neglect or Censure; so, I would not have engaged in such a dangerous Undertaking, if I could have quieted my Heart, that was ever tempting me to despise the Danger for the Hopes of doing good by my Pen.

SWIFT. I wish Tom the Tribe of Authors had ever writ from such a Turn of Mind, and then I fancy the World had not been so much over-run with Books.

PRIOR. I can answer for my self that I had only the Service of my Fellow Citizens in view. Let those whose miserable Aim is writing well, be ashamed if they are criticiz'd, or ridiculed, but he who sincerely strives to serve Millions, must have a Scorn for Malice or Satyr, if he thinks he can feed or cloath half a Nation by scribling. I profess I writ whatever I publish'd, barely for the Joy I had in doing some Service to my Country, and with so little a view to Reputation, that I would have done it, if there had been no such thing as Fame in the World; and surely, there is almost as little of that phantastick Pleasure to be had here as in the _Isle of Man_, or the _Orcades_. Nay, Dean, I'll go further, I would have done it for the gratifying the pleasing Instinct that lead me to it, if there had not been a great Lord and Parent of Good to approve and reward it. Hence it was that I troubled the World with a deal of Tracts on publick Subjects; and, I thank Heaven, my Heart is as little asham'd of it, now I am dead, as I was proud of it when I was living, which is what few Authors can say when they are coffin'd. I saw writing absolutely necessary to the well-being of the most neglected Nation under Heaven. I heard, I saw, I felt the Displeasure of some great Men for several Things I wrote, which crost their Views, or even disagreed with their Opinions or Desires. I saw few either willing to appear Medlers or Busy-Bodies this Way; or visibly to hurt their worldly Interests, or to seem fond of either Ridicule or Reputation by bustling about it; and, as I was quite indifferent to those Fears, I hop'd what I did, and the Motives I went on, might be pardonable if not approveable; and whatever was the Event, I as sincerely despised any Abuse I met with, as I did any Credit, that a few solitary thinking Men might allow me for it.

SWIFT. Why, really _Tom_, as there is no lying in this World, that we are now launch'd into, I must own there is a great deal of Truth in all you have said; and tho' I often writ for the Sake of Applause, yet writing with such a View is a poor Motive, and the best and n.o.blest, and I had almost said, the only justifiable one, is to do Good in an evil World. I don't see any Thing very desireable in the greatest Talents, or in the largest Affluence of Fortune, unless they are in some Measure employed in the Publick Service, and if they be, it truly dignifies them; nay, that single View is enough to sanctify the poorest Scribling, and to make the meanest sc.r.a.ping and saving of Avarice, pa.s.s for the Marks of a worthy Spirit. But tho' Patriots are generally so ill used, by the ungrateful World; you certainly came much better off than I did, for where you met with one Reviler, I met with one hundred.

The Pamphlets wrote against me, wou'd have form'd a Library, or rather a Dormitory, where they might have slept in undisturb'd Repose; instead of furnis.h.i.+ng Grocers and Pastry Cooks for Years together, to make some expiation for beggaring Printers and Booksellers. I have had Thousands written against me, with Virulence and Scandal.

PRIOR. And what a wounding Grief must that be, to your generous Mind, to have so much Malice returned, where so much Grat.i.tude was due; surely it gave you infinite Pain to be so lash'd and stigmatised, by a Rabble, of the most invenom'd and imbitter'd Scriblers upon Earth?

SWIFT. Why, dear _Tom_, I cou'd laugh a Month at you for this. Why, they made no more Impression on my Spirit, with their scurrilous Pamphlets, than they wou'd have done, on my Statue, had they thrown them at it. I ever consider'd, that Abuse from such Scriblers, who write for a Livelihood, can no more be thought an Affront, than a Barber's taking you by the Nose; 'tis his Trade, and the Wretch would starve if you stopt him. What harm did all their Ribaldry do me? I neither eat, nor drunk, nor slept the worse for it. I don't suppose, that the scape Goat, which the _Jews_ loaded with Curses, and drove into the Wilderness, either died by their Maledictions, or grew a whit the leaner for them; nor was I ever the worse for all I met with. Why _Tom_, one had as good be a sensitive Plant, as to start and fly back, at every Touch, or every Appearance of being Touch'd, as some weak Men do.

PRIOR. We may Reason thus, but Nature generally over masters our Opinions.

SWIFT. Yes, when they are of opposite Sides, but in this point they must agree. Consider, what a wretched Thing would Merit be, whose chief support is a justly deserved good Character, if it depended for its real Fame, on the Writings (if we must call them Writings) of envious Scriblers, or the Tongues, of Slanderers, who wou'd both of them fain get a Sc.r.a.p of Reputation, by vilifying exalted Names. No, _Tom_, there is something in true Merit, so independent of Applause and Censure, and so superior to the going out, or coming into Vogue, that it frequently takes the Injuries of such Reptiles as a kind of Homage; like the Abuses offered by the common Soldiers, to Conquerors when they Ride in Triumph, and which they valued as little as the senseless Phrases and Shouts of the mult.i.tude. 'Tis time enough for true Merit and Goodness to expect Justice from Men; when it receives the Euge of the Omnipotent; for then only will Malice be out of Countenance, Envy silent, and then only will Truth (the Language of Eternity) prevail!

PRIOR. Well, very well, Mr. _Dean_. But I am much mistaken, if you was not heartily Sick of your Patriotism, when you was so often branded and asperst by such Crowds of Pamphlets and Scriblers.

SWIFT. Dr. _Tom_, they never gave me a moment's Pain, for the Truth is, I was too proud to be affronted, and had too high a Spirit to be humbled, by such Insults, or else indeed I had met with Opportunities enough to make me pa.s.s my Time very uneasily. But in the next place those who Writ against me, were mere toothless Animals, or at least a Sort of _Irish_ Vipers, that tho' they lov'd to Bite, yet they wanted the pungent Venom which gives the Torment. Many of their Tracts were the poorest Productions that ever disgraced the Press; without Style, or Wit, or Sense, or Argument. I remember one of them, where both I, and the Subject he writ on, were equally ill-treated, begun like a _Hebrew_ Book at the wrong End, with an Apology for the Author's inability to handle such weighty Points as they deserved; and indeed _Tom_, that single Confession was the only Thing that look'd like Truth or Modesty in the whole Performance. How could I be affronted by such miserable Efforts of Malice? and above all, if the natural elevation of my Mind, had not enabled me to look down on them with Disdain, the Dignity and usefulness of my Life, help'd me to smile on them as impotent and harmless. I was so far from being mortified by their base revilings, that I think, I wrote the better for them, and with higher Spirit, as a well mettled Horse moves the brisker for being lashed.

Besides, as I often wrote for the service of the World; and the Interests of Mankind, I always appeared with every Advantage, that Candour, Honesty, and Courage, cou'd give me against Injustice, Oppression, and Tyrany. I wrote for Truth and Reason, for Liberty, and the Rights of my Country and Fellow-Subjects; and it gave me Joy, to see the Minions of a Court, and the Slaves of Power, stare at the dextrous boldness of my Pen, as I fancy a Cuckold does at a Deer, when he sees it cast its Horns.

PRIOR. Why dear _Dean_, I will not oppose you too obstinately; but I am sure, you will not deny, that you were sufficiently mortified, with other Things, if you were not with the Sarcasms of your Rival Writers.

SWIFT. What other Things pray?

PRIOR. Why your not being perferr'd, nor advanc'd in the Church.

SWIFT. I renounce it! I deny it! I lost nothing by not being preferred, but an enlarged Power of doing Good; and the Day is coming (much sooner than the Feeders on the Earth imagine) when I shall be allowed as fully, for the Good I would have done, as for that which I was able to accomplish. The Publick indeed lost many, and perhaps considerable Advantages, and I some hearty Prayers, by that Disappointment; at the same Time, I ever look'd on the Gain of Preferment with the n.o.blest Scorn: I hardly look'd with more on those that disgraced it, your A----s, and your B----s, your C----s, and your D----s. The truth is, I saw in this same scurvy World, so many bad Men pa.s.s for good; so many Fools for wise; so many Ignorants for Learned; and so many Knaves for honest, and rewarded accordingly, that I was rather provok'd, than mortified. However, I never fretted, but rather diverted my Spleen, with the World's fine Mistakes; and I enjoyed in _Petto_, that just delight of a truely honest Mind, of either pitying, or contemning every worthless Animal, whose Advancement made him look down on me, with Insolence or Scorn.

PRIOR. That was a peculiar felicity of Temper.

SWIFT. It was so, and I enjoy'd it fully. If sometimes, I was weak enough to be angry at such Events, I took care, that my Ill-humour, shou'd be as useful to the Publick, as my good cou'd have been. I ever despised undeserved Grandeur, and misapplied Power, and therefore few People in high Posts, or even Kings or Queens, or Ministers, cou'd ever brag much of my Condescension, in speaking a good Word for them to Posterity, or endeavouring to blind the Eyes of the present Times, by Printing either lies or Truths in their Favour. 'Tis true, I almost as seldom gave them any Proofs of my Spite; partly out of neglect, and a despair of doing any good by it; but chiefly, as I rather chose quarrelling with my Equals, whom I cou'd safely treat as ill as they used me; for after all _Tom_, tho' a Man hates Lyons and Tygers, there is no great Wit or Wisdom in throwing Stones at them, and provoking the lordly Monsters, to try the strength of their Mouths, or their Fangs on you.

PRIOR. I entirely agree with you there, Dean, but it is certain, if you was not mortified, you was enraged at the ill Usage your Patriotism drew on you from the Men in Power. This therefore, must have disturbed your mind remarkably, and as I was observing at first had never given you any uneasiness, had you been less zealous in your Country's Service.

SWIFT. I shall chuse to say little to that; tho' probably had they used me more generously, both they and I had been better pleased. I know my Foes said, if I had not hated the Ministry so much, I had not lov'd _Ireland_ so well, nor fought her Battles so stoutly against a stupid World, and a juncto of Copper-Coiners, Oppressors and Tax-Gatherers.

But indeed, _Tom_, I scorn'd to write from such mean-interested Views and partial Ends; but I wrote because I lov'd Honour, Truth and Liberty, more than fifty _Irelands_. Nay, upon my Word, if I had liv'd three Winters in _Lapland_, and found it as much opprest, I would have made War with my Pen on the _Danes_, with the same Spirit, and attack them for so basely distressing the Slaves that croucht to them, and durst not on pain of Ruin howl under their Rods. I thank Heaven, I got the better of the redoubted Sir _Robert_, in that important Affair; and if I had liv'd a little longer, and my Organs had not declined too fast, I would have kept all the great Bashaws of _Europe_ in my Dependance as _Aretine_ did.

PRIOR. Why, Dr. Dean, I was complaining of the hard Fate and ill Usage true Patriots meet with in the World, from its Neglects, if not from its Oppressions; and you stop my Mouth with Declamations of their Worth and their Influence, and make them the most formidable People in it.

Don't you consider how easily they are crusht by Power.

SWIFT. No! But I consider how easily they can crush Power, I mean abused Power, when they attack Oppression and plead for Liberty, and an injured People. If I was to be restored to Life again (which Heaven forbid) and was in the Prime of my Parts and Spirits, I could overturn bad Ministers as easily with my Pen, as _Mahomet_ in his Alcoran says, the Archangel _Gabriel_ did Mountains with the Feather of his Wing. An Author whose Writings are bottom'd on Truth, and influenced by no Motives but the sincere Love of his Country can do Wonders. As he Acts right he fears nothing; and if he be Opprest, his Sufferings do but exalt his Character and encrease his Strength as well as his Courage. I ever found this true by Experience, I never had more Spirit, more Resolution, than when I was most eminently injured; nor did I ever exert my self in a more distinguished Manner than when the Interests of two Kingdoms were both at Work, and labouring by the help of a Villain in Scarlet Robes, to String me up as a Trumpeter of Rebellion. G.o.d forgive the Enemies of sincere Patriots, who make use of all their Arts and their Power to crush and oppress them; but tho' I pray for them, I must own _Tom_, if Beggars, were to be chusers, I had rather they should be forgiven after they had been severely punish'd for their misdeeds, for otherwise, when Oppressors gall Men or Nations too long, Providence bears half blame.

PRIOR. I shall submit to all you advance _Dean_, provided you quit this Subject, (which I unluckily started) and go to another, which I came to talk about, and is of more Importance; I mean our poor Country, and its present State and Circ.u.mstances; when I died, I thought I had left it in a very improving way, and on the mending hand, by my Writings and my constant Labours in its Service, and had I liv'd a little longer, I wou'd have wrote some Tracts, that wou'd have prevented some Distresses, which I hear, are likely to fall heavy on her.

SWIFT. Dreams! Whims! and Delusions! If you had wrote your self as blind as _Milton_ did, what Service cou'd you do a Nation that never thinks. You might as well expect to cure the Deaf by talking to them; Idiots by reasoning with them; or to rouse the Dead as the _Romans_ did by bawling and weeping for their miserable Condition. If they had been retrievable by any Writings, I may justly say, they had been retrieved by mine.

_----Si Pergama dextra, Defendi possent, etiam hac defensa fuissent._

But all such hopes are vain. Preach to Fishes and talk to Wolves like St. _Anthony_ and St. _Francis_, and try what Change it will make in them, and be a.s.sur'd, just so much and no more, would your Arguments and Eloquence do, with our heedless Countrymen. I told them of their Danger, and every impending Ruin in Print, Winter after Winter, as regularly as Men wish People a good Year, every first of _January_; for let me tell you _Tom_, repet.i.tions of this Sort, are as necessary in a Nation, that will not readily mind good Advice, as crying Fire! Fire!

in a City in Flames, where all are drunk or asleep, and must either rouse and bestir themselves, or Perish. I cannot help boasting a little on this Subject, I have a t.i.tle to it; these Hands were almost as useful to the People of _I----d_, as _Moses_'s were to the _Jews_: When I lifted them up, all went well; when I dropt them, all went wrong.

However, I must own, that as to the bulk of the Nation, tho' I tried them, and studied them, for half a Century, I ever found that they wou'd not be at the pain of thinking, for half an hour, to secure their ease and happiness for half a Year. But, pray _Tom_, before you speak of the Distresses that menace _I----d_, let me hear what Grounds you have to say, She was, in a tolerable improving way, and on the mending hand (as you call'd it) when you died. I have heard indeed, from the Ghosts of some half-starved Silk-Weavers, and some Manufacturers of _Irish_ Woollen Goods, that died of Hunger and Poverty, that _I----d_ was vastly improv'd, as to Elegance of Taste, in her Gentry, as to eating and drinking: That they understood Musick, infinitely better than their Ancestors; that they drest vastly more agreeably than their stupid Grandmothers, and shew'd more good Sense in the nice choice of their Suits, and the Fancy and richness of their Cloaths, as well as the modest way of imitating naked _Eve_, in wearing them, than the last Age did. I was a.s.sured also, that they danced inconceivably finer than ever; that their Races, and their Subscriptions for them, quite surpast all Imagination; and that they gam'd deeper, and lost their Guineas with more ease and politeness, even to Strangers and Sharpers, than their Fathers did their s.h.i.+llings to one another. As to any other Improvements, and particularly as to Learning, Virtue, or Piety, (which probably were over-look'd in the Account) they poor famish'd Devils, cou'd tell me nothing of them.

PRIOR. You are very merry _Dean_ with the madness of our Countrymen, but I fear by and by, I shall hear another Story, and be as melancholy with their Miseries. However, as you desire it, I shall give you a fair Account what these Improvements were, which made me think our poor Country was in a tolerable Way. And in the first Place, I shall mention our numerous and extended Turnpikes, which have been carried on with incredible Application and surprizing Expence in all Parts, and I had almost said, brought to every Town, of the least Name, or Consequence in the Kingdom. Of what infinite Advantage this must prove to the Ease and Convenience of all Travellers, to the facilitating and promoting our inland Commerce, and the general Service of Trade, I need not tell you.

SWIFT. Ah, _Tom_, I know very well, if _I----d_ had almost as many high Ways in it as the Ocean, what Advantages it would produce to us. This was one of the great Arts of the ancient _Romans_, who had prodigious Roads running thro' every Province, in a strait Line to the Capital of the Empire. But Alas! We copy them in our boasted Causeways, as we do in our Standing Armies, without having any real Business for either of them. I will for some Time, at least, drop the delicate Subject of our Troops; but as to the other Point, I must say, I think it is a Curse upon us, that we can't even copy a good Example (for bad Ones we do more adroitly) but we do it in a tricky dirty Manner, and with as many Deviations as we can. Why, dost thou not know, _Tom_, what base filthy Jobs, Knaves, and Mean-foul'd Wretches have made, and do still make of these magnified Turnpikes. I was once fix'd to write a Book of all the Cheats, and all the Reptiles, of what Quality or Station soever concern'd in them, but I found it would be so voluminous, that I left the Care of it to Posterity, as one of the largest Branches of _Irish_ History, and Wisdom. But to dwell as little on such melancholy Disgraces of our Country, as I can, I will chuse only to hint to you, that fine Roads, without Travellers, and Stage-Coaches, without Pa.s.sengers, are useless Things, that must soon be dropt; and without Manufactures, and proper Employment to set us at Work, can neither be for Use or Pleasure. Indeed, if we had Trade, and the Roads were fairly finish'd, they might help it; but in the mean Time, methinks we are in his Case, who built the Mill, without knowing whence to bring Water to it, or where to procure Grist for it. Nay, to make bad worse, after so many Acts for Turnpikes, you cannot but know, _Tom_, that we want one general Act to make them all pa.s.sable. I am loth to be too severe on them, and those who make Pence by spoiling them; and therefore I will only say, pa.s.sable for Footmen at least; for as to Carriages, if they are allowed to be driven on some of these Roads, they will be the utter Ruin of each other. But as I am quite sick of this, prithee _Tom_, let us go to some other Improvements of _Ireland_.

PRIOR. Why, the next I shall mention is one, which you cannot easily talk me out of, and that is, our prodigious Number of Converts; which, considering the Prejudices of a bigotted People, (enva.s.saled to _Rome_, and Superst.i.tion) exceeds all Belief. It is a Matter of the highest Consequence to our Welfare, that we have so astonis.h.i.+ng a Crowd of all Ranks, Fortunes, and Circ.u.mstances that have come over to our Church, who were formerly our inveterate Enemies, and are now perfectly united to us, both in our religious and political Interests: This is not only a great discomfort, and weakening to the Popish Party, but a considerable Encouragement and Strength, to all who wish well to the Protestant Religion in _Ireland_. As the Papists are now quite depriv'd, of all Men of Fortune, Family or Character, that were capable of heading their Attempts, or forming their Schemes of any Sort; I have ever look'd on this Affair of our numerous Converts, as likely to contribute emnently to the Peace and Prosperity of this Island. By this means, those spiritual Factions, which have often produced such fatal Effects here, by Rebellions and national Ma.s.sacres, will be utterly extinguished, and both Conformists, Dissenters and Papists, will in a little Time, live in as much Harmony and Good-Humour together; as if our Statesmen had learn'd the Art of Father _Boubours_'s Friend, who he tells us, had taught a Dog, a Cat, and a Mouse, to eat quietly together.

SWIFT. The Dissenters live in Harmony and good Humour! What, _Tom_, cannot even the Grave open your Eyes; as to those Favourites of yours, the Dissenters, after all the Pranks they have been playing of late, as if they had a mind to make good, all I ever writ against them: But keep your old kind Opinion of them, _Tom_, to your self, for I shall not dispute on it now, because a few Years, and a few Facts, will shew you fully what they drive at, and so to that great Explainer Time, I leave them, unless you start the Subject hereafter. As to our Converts which are our present Topick, I shall only say, when you consider how they manage, whose Interests they espouse, and who they herd with, you will not be too ready to vouch for their Sincerity, or build on their Friends.h.i.+p, especially when their Conversion is brought about, by worldly Interests, and securing their Estates. They remember, I fancy the Advice of _Alexander_ the Great to the _Athenians_, who refused to own him for a G.o.d:

[2]_Videte Athenienses ne dum Coelum custodiatis, Terram amittatis_,

and therefore they take Care, not to sacrifice their Lands and Tenements, to Opinions that are equally inconsistent and inconvenient.

As for the Story of Father _Boubours_'s Friend, I shall only answer it, with one of Father Henepius, who was a very honest Missionary, and had made some Converts among the _Indian_ Savages. In the small Number of those he had brought over, he met with an old Woman, whom he had taken so much pains in instructing, that at last he had thoroughly convinc'd her; and having admitted his new Christian to Baptism, he made her a present (and a very agreeable one to the Savages) of a Pound of Tobacco: In a few Weeks, (after behaving very well) this old Woman comes to Father _Henepin_, and tells him her Tobacco was gone, and begs of all Love, he wou'd give her another Pound, and she wou'd then consent to be Christned anew. I will make no Application, _Tom_, but if any of your _Irish_ Conversions, seem to bear some Resemblance with this, as to their Motives and Conduct, I think you need not boast much of any Advantages, to be deriv'd from them.

[2] _Look to it_ Athenians, _lest whilst you guard Heaven too closely you should lose your Lands._

PRIOR. I look on our Converts in a very different Light; Numbers of them are unquestionably sincere; and if any of them may be justly suspected, I am sure their Children, and Grand-Children; will be actually as good Protestants, as any in _England_, where a few Generations ago, all were bigotted Slaves to _Rome_ and Popery. Upon this Footing it is, that I will also reckon up to you, our Charter working Schools, as another great Improvement in _I----d_, and which gave me great Hopes of our drawing prodigious Advantages from them. The _Janizaries_, who are Sons of Christians taken Captives in their Infancy, are not a greater Strength to the _Turks_, or a greater weakening to their Enemies, than these Children, will be to our Church and Kingdom. This is the Surest, and safest Method of striking at the Root of the Popish Party, in our divided Country; and will secretly and without Noise or Violence, or the Terror of Penal Laws, sap and undermine their great Support their Numbers, and that old part.i.tion Wall of the _Irish_ Tribes, and the _English_ Families, and make us in Time but one People. There are few Counties in the Kingdom, that have not one, or more, Charter Schools establish'd in them; and as the Children, I am told, are computed to near fifteen Hundred, and will probably in a few Years, amount to double that Number, I cannot but hope to see great Effects from this happy Inst.i.tution.

SWIFT. Why truly, _Tom_, in three or four Centuries, something may be done; but Schools and Children are as slow a way of working, as sowing Acorns, in order to raise Forests, for building Fleets and Cities.

Besides, the Funds allowed this n.o.ble Design, are so small, as if they were subscrib'd by Papists, in order to cramp it, and lessen its Efficacy; whereas the Contributions ought to be as extended as its Views, and suited to the removal of our great national Defect, our religious Differences. Neither ought such an important Scheme, to be left depending on Fits of good Humour, and the Yearnings of Charity, which are influenced so much by the Variations of popular Opinion, and Changes of Weather, and Times, and Seasons. Withall I must tell you, _Tom_, that the whole Body of the Popish Clergy, have been so violent in opposing it, by denying the Communion and Absolution, to all their Members, that send Children to such Schools, and cursing it and them, with Bell, Book, and Candle, in all their Congregations, that I apprehend it will be yet harder, to get Children to fill the Schools, than even a Fund to maintain them there.

PRIOR. It must be owned the popish Clergy have done their utmost, to discredit and overturn this Design. This however, is a stronger Proof of the exceeding Usefulness of it, than of their Prudence in thwarting it so violently, as they confessedly have done. However, as this is a Scheme which his Majesty has so generously, and so warmly espoused, I am the more inclined to believe, that from his Royal Protection, it will probably operate more expeditiously, than you imagine: And if these wise Priests will consider, that if they go on to undermine these Plans of their Governors, it may force them to blow up at once, their whole Church Government, and oblige all Priests, on pain of High Treason, to take out all their t.i.tles from the King, or Protestant Bishops only, it may make them more cautious and moderate in their mighty Zeal. A Priest in _Ireland_, shou'd be as quiet, and as pa.s.sive, as a Protestant Minister in _France_; and if once they are so, we shall soon find our Charter Schools more crowded than their Ma.s.s Houses, and their Parents, as manageable as their Children.

SWIFT. I am afraid their fixt Opposition to our Government may produce some wholesome Statutes to curb their ill-judg'd Zeal; but if they behave with Decency, and a due Submission to the Laws and the Government, I shou'd be sorry to see any Severities thought necessary.

PRIOR. So shou'd I, and probably their own Prudence and Moderation may prevent it; and to that we may leave it. In short, dear _Dean_, 'tis as easy removing this Evil, as drawing a loose Tooth, if it gives us no Pain, there it may stay 'till it rots; if it does Pain us, and severely too, out it must go, and let those who give the Pain look to it. But I will drop this Subject, and go on to another considerable Improvement, that has of late Years been carried on with particular Emulation and Success, and that is, the surprising Improvement in the Breed of both our black Cattle, and our Horses. The first of these, we have taken uncommon Care about, by Importing great Numbers of the finest Bulls and Heifers, from _England_. It is true, the fatal Disease, that infected most of the horned Beasts for some Years past in _Great Britain_, forc'd us to suspend our Importations of them for some Time; but nevertheless, I will be bold to say, there are but few breeding Counties, on the other Side of the Water, which produce Cattle that excell those, which are bred by a vast many of our Gentlemen, either as to Beauty, Size, Leather, or Milk.