The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll Volume VIII Part 19

These proclamations have always appeared to me absurdly egotistical.

Why should G.o.d treat us any better than he does the rest of his children? Why should he send pestilence and famine to China, and health and plenty to us? Why give us corn, and Egypt cholera?

All these proclamations grow out of egotism and selfishness, of ignorance and superst.i.tion, and are based upon the idea that G.o.d is a capricious monster; that he loves flattery; that he can be coaxed and cajoled.

The conclusion of the whole matter with me is this: For truth in courts we must depend upon the trained intelligence of judges, the right of cross-examination, the honesty and common sense of jurors, and upon an enlightened public opinion. As for members of Congress, we will trust to the wisdom and patriotism, not only of the members, but of their const.i.tuents. In religion we will give to all the luxury of absolute liberty.

The alchemist did not succeed in finding any stone the touch of which trans.m.u.ted baser things to gold; and priests have not invented yet an oath with power to force from falsehood's desperate lips the pearl of truth.

--_Secular Review_, London, England, 1884.

WENDELL PHILLIPS, FITZ JOHN PORTER AND BISMARCK.

_Question_. Are you seeking to quit public lecturing on religious questions?

_Answer_. As long as I live I expect now and then to say my say against the religious bigotry and cruelty of the world. As long as the smallest coal is red in h.e.l.l I am going to keep on. I never had the slightest idea of retiring. I expect the church to do the retiring.

_Question_. What do you think of Wendell Phillips as an orator?

_Answer_. He was a very great orator--one of the greatest that the world has produced. He rendered immense service in the cause of freedom. He was in the old days the thunderbolt that pierced the s.h.i.+eld of the Const.i.tution. One of the bravest soldiers that ever fought for human rights was Wendell Phillips.

_Question_. What do you think of the action of Congress on Fitz John Porter?

_Answer_. I think Congress did right. I think they should have taken this action long before. There was a question of his guilt, and he should have been given the benefit of a doubt. They say he could have defeated Longstreet. There are some people, you know, who would have it that an army could be whipped by a good general with six mules and a blunderbuss. But we do not regard those people. They know no more about it than a lady who talked to me about Porter's case. She argued the question of Porter's guilt for half an hour. I showed her where she was all wrong. When she found she was beaten she took refuge with "Oh, well, anyhow he had no genius." Well, if every man is to be shot who has no genius, I want to go into the coffin business.

_Question_. What, in your judgment, is necessary to be done to insure Republican success this fall?

_Answer_. It is only necessary for the Republican party to stand by its principles. We must be in favor of protecting American labor not only, but of protecting American capital, and we must be in favor of civil rights, and must advocate the doctrine that the Federal Government must protect all citizens. I am in favor of a tariff, not simply to raise a revenue--that I regard as incidental.

The Democrats regard protection as incidental. The two principles should be, protection to American industry and protection to American citizens. So that, after all, there is but one issue--protection.

As a matter of fact, that is all a government is for--to protect.

The Republican party is stronger to-day than it was four years ago.

The Republican party stands for the progressive ideas of the American people. It has been said that the administration will control the Southern delegates. I do not believe it. This administration has not been friendly to the Southern Republicans, and my opinion is there will be as much division in the Southern as in the Northern States. I believe Blaine will be a candidate, and I do not believe the Prohibitionists will put a ticket in the field, because they have no hope of success.

_Question_. What do you think generally of the revival of the b.l.o.o.d.y s.h.i.+rt? Do you think the investigations of the Republicans of the Danville and Copiah ma.s.sacres will benefit them?

_Answer_. Well, I am in favor of the revival of that question just as often as a citizen of the Republic is murdered on account of his politics. If the South is sick of that question, let it stop persecuting men because they are Republicans. I do not believe, however, in simply investigating the question and then stopping after the guilty ones are found. I believe in indicting them, trying them, and convicting them. If the Government can do nothing except investigate, we might as well stop, and admit that we have no government. Thousands of people think that it is almost vulgar to take the part of the poor colored people in the South. What part should you take if not that of the weak? The strong do not need you. And I can tell the Southern people now, that as long as they persecute for opinion's sake they will never touch the reins of political power in this country.

_Question_. How do you regard the action of Bismarck in returning the Lasker resolutions? Was it the result of his hatred of the Jews?

_Answer_. Bismarck opposed a bill to do away with the disabilities of the Jews on the ground that Prussia is a Christian nation, founded for the purpose of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I presume that it was his hatred of the Jews that caused him to return the resolutions. Bismarck should have lived several centuries ago. He belongs to the Dark Ages. He is a believer in the sword and the bayonet--in brute force. He was loved by Germany simply because he humiliated France. Germany gave her liberty for revenge.

It is only necessary to compare Bismarck with Gambetta to see what a failure he really is. Germany was victorious and took from France the earnings of centuries; and yet Germany is to-day the least prosperous nation in Europe. France was prostrate, trampled into the earth, robbed, and yet, guided by Gambetta, is to-day the most prosperous nation in Europe. This shows the difference between brute force and brain.

--_The Times_, Chicago, Illinois, February 21, 1884.

GENERAL SUBJECTS.

_Question_. Do you enjoy lecturing?

_Answer_. Of course I enjoy lecturing. It is a great pleasure to drive the fiend of fear out of the hearts of men women and children.

It is a positive joy to put out the fires of h.e.l.l.

_Question_. Where do you meet with the bitterest opposition?

_Answer_. I meet with the bitterest opposition where the people are the most ignorant, where there is the least thought, where there are the fewest books. The old theology is becoming laughable.

Very few ministers have the impudence to preach in the old way.

They give new meanings to old words. They subscribe to the same creed, but preach exactly the other way. The clergy are ashamed to admit that they are orthodox, and they ought to be.

_Question_. Do liberal books, such as the works of Paine and Infidel scientists sell well?

_Answer_. Yes, they are about the only books on serious subjects that do sell well. The works of Darwin, Buckle, Draper, Haeckel, Tyndall, Humboldt and hundreds of others, are read by intelligent people the world over. Works of a religious character die on the shelves. The people want facts. They want to know about the world, about all forms of life. They want the mysteries of every day solved. They want honest thoughts about sensible questions. They are tired of the follies of faith and the falsehoods of superst.i.tion.

They want a heaven here. In a few years the old theological books will be sold to make paper on which to print the discoveries of science.

_Question_. In what section of the country do you find the most liberality?

_Answer_. I find great freedom of thought in Boston, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, in fact, all over what we call the North.

The West of course is liberal. The truth is that all the intelligent part of the country is liberal. The railroad, the telegraph, the daily paper, electric light, the telephone, and freedom of thought belong together.

_Question_. Is it true that you were once threatened with a criminal prosecution for libel on religion?

_Answer_. Yes, in Delaware. Chief Justice Comegys instructed the grand jury to indict me for blasphemy. I have taken by revenge on the State by leaving it in ignorance. Delaware is several centuries behind the times. It is as bigoted as it is small. Compare Kansas City with Wilmington and you will see the difference between liberalism and orthodoxy.

_Question_. This is Was.h.i.+ngton's birthday. What do you think of General Was.h.i.+ngton?

_Answer_. I suppose that Was.h.i.+ngton was what was called religious.

He was not very strict in his conduct. He tried to have church and state united in Virginia and was defeated by Jefferson. It should make no difference with us whether Was.h.i.+ngton was religious or not. Jefferson was by far the greater man. In intellect there was no comparison between Was.h.i.+ngton and Franklin. I do not prove the correctness of my ideas by names of dead people. I depend upon reason instead of gravestones. One fact is worth a cemetery full of distinguished corpses. We ask not for the belief of somebody, but for evidence, for facts. The church is a beggar at the door of respectability. The moment a man becomes famous, the church asks him for a certificate that the Bible is true. It pa.s.ses its hat before generals and presidents, and kings while they are alive.

It says nothing about thinkers and real philosophers while they live, except to slander them, but the moment they are dead it seeks among their words for a crumb of comfort.

_Question_. Will Liberalism ever organize in America?

_Answer_. I hope not. Organization means creed, and creed means petrifaction and tyranny. I believe in individuality. I will not join any society except an anti-society society.

_Question_. Do you consider the religion of Bhagavat Purana of the East as good as the Christian?

_Answer_. It is far more poetic. It has greater variety and shows vastly more thought. Like the Hebrew, it is poisoned with superst.i.tion, but it has more beauty. Nothing can be more barren than the theology of the Jews and Christians. One lonely G.o.d, a heaven filled with thoughtless angels, a h.e.l.l with unfortunate souls. Nothing can be more desolate. The Greek mythology is infinitely better.

_Question_. Do you think that the marriage inst.i.tution is held in less respect by Infidels than by Christians?

_Answer_. No; there was never a time when marriage was more believed in than now. Never were wives treated better and loved more; never were children happier than now. It is the ambition of the average American to have a good and happy home. The fireside was never more popular than now.

_Question_. What do you think of Beecher?

_Answer_. He is a great man, but the habit of his mind and the bent of his early education oppose his heart. He is growing and has been growing every day for many years. He has given up the idea of eternal punishment, and that of necessity destroys it all.

The Christian religion is founded upon h.e.l.l. When the foundation crumbles the fabric falls. Beecher was to have answered my article in the _North American Review_, but when it appeared and he saw it, he agreed with so much of it that he concluded that an answer would be useless.