Survival Of Love Part 20

Jody tried to hide her smile as she followed Denise to the elevator. They rode down in silence.

The minute Jody stepped off the elevator, she smelled the alluring aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She felt as though she were floating as she made her way through the cafeteria line. She ordered coffee and a meal of roast beef with mashed potatoes and peas. She had actually forgotten about Denise until she sat down across the table from her.

"Is it all right if I sit here?" Denise asked quietly.

Jody nodded as she took another sip of her coffee. Denise had gotten the meat loaf platter, but she was more interested in the coffee.

"We drink too much coffee," Denise said as she sipped from her cup.

"Yeah, we do," Jody agreed as she drained the cup.

Jody and Denise looked at each other for a long second before bursting into laughter.

Jody reached for Denise's cup. "I'll go get us some more coffee."

After Jody had returned with the freshly filled cups, Denise shook her head and said, "The lady at the corner table looked at us like she suspected we had just escaped from the psych ward."

Jody glanced over to where Denise had indicated, but the woman had apparently already lost interest in them and was reading her book. Jody dug into her mashed potatoes. "I'm starting to feel like that's where I belong. I'm so tired I can barely think."

Denise took a bite of her meat loaf and chewed it thoughtfully. "Why are you still here?"

Shocked, Jody looked up. "What do you mean? I'm here for the same reason you are."

"Beth left. Why haven't you?"

Jody laid her fork down. "Denise, I know you're having trouble understanding this, but I love Ellen. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever truly loved anyone the way I love her."

Denise pushed a carrot around on her plate. "Beth said she loved her, but she left. Why?"

Jody shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she didn't feel wanted here anymore. Or maybe she just couldn't face what was happening."

"If you had been in her place, would you have left?" Denise persisted.

"I can't answer that," Jody said, and thought about the question. "But no. I don't think I would have. I think I would have stepped back, but I don't think I could have left until I knew for certain that Ellen was all right."

Denise stared at her. "You really love her?"

"Yes, Denise. I really love her." Jody took a deep breath. "I love her enough to chance losing you, and I've never loved anything that much."

Tears sprang to Denise's eyes. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

"I'm driving Eric crazy. He's threatened to have the locks on the shop changed and not let me in."

Jody chuckled. "I'm going to miss him when he leaves."

"Me too. I don't know why he continues going to college. You know he hates it."

"No, I didn't know that."

Denise nodded. "His father is an engineer. He has his own business somewhere in Montana and wants Eric to work with him, but Eric doesn't really want to."

"Why doesn't he tell his father he doesn't want to be an engineer?"

Denise looked at her and made a wry face. "How do you think dear old dad is going to react when his only son tells him he'd rather be a florist than join the family business?"

Jody shook her head. "He should tell his father. You never know until you try. He can't spend the rest of his life miserable just because his father has a dream of him carrying on the family business." On some level, Jody knew they were talking about Eric to avoid talking about the more painful issues.

"For all your worldliness, Jody, I swear sometimes you can be so naive."

"I am not naive. I'm realistic. I don't understand why parents think they have a right to continue to run their children's lives forever. At some point you have to let them grow up."

"Is that what you think I do?"

Jody hesitated and realized too late that she had painted herself into a corner. She didn't want to destroy the thin line that had reconnected her with Denise. She picked up her fork and took a bite of potatoes to give herself time to choose her words carefully. The wrong ones were certain to upset the fragile truce she and Denise seemed to have achieved.

"I think," Jody started slowly. "That you tend to cling to Ellen."

"Do you know why?"

Jody shook her head.

"I cling because I made Ellen my entire life. She was all I had."

"That's not true, Denise. You have me, Eric, the shop. You have your Bunco friends."

Denise held up her hand to stop Jody. "I know that, but all of you are friends. Any of you could pick up and move away at any given moment, and I'd never see you again. Ellen is the only constant in my life."

Jody reached across the table and took Denise's hand. "You silly woman. I've been in your life for thirty-five years, and I plan to be there for the next thirty-five."

Denise removed her hand and pressed her napkin to her eyes.

"In addition to being your friend, I intend to be your daughter-in-law for the next thirty-five," Jody added.

Denise looked at her in shock, but slowly a smile crept across her face. "I never thought I'd have a daughter-in-law. Maybe I should give it some thought."

"I wish you would, because I'm here to stay. At the very least, can we maintain this truce until Ellen is better?"

Denise nodded.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

It was well after four before Dr. Wray came into the waiting room.

Jody and Denise hurried across the floor. Denise began firing off questions before she reached him.

Dr. Wray held up his hands. "Ellen is in the recovery room. She'll be there for a while before they move her to her room. I've requested a private room. I want her to be as comfortable as possible. She needs to rest, but at the same time I want to get her up and moving as soon as she's able. All I can do now is wait on the pathologist's report. It's my gut feeling that we caught it before the cancer spread elsewhere. But it's important that you remember I won't know anything definite until I see those reports. We'll keep her overnight for observation."

"Will she be all right? Is the cancer gone for good?" Denise asked.

Dr. Wray removed his surgeon's cap and scrubbed his hand over the short stubble of a buzz cut. He motioned them toward a small cl.u.s.ter of empty chairs. Jody felt her knees wobble. She felt certain he wouldn't make them sit for good news. After they were seated, he squatted down in front of them.

"I'm going to recommend that she undergo radiation treatments, and follow up with the tamoxifen," he began. "With her family history, I'd rather be overly cautious."

Denise's hand reached out and grabbed Jody's as he continued.

"She's going to need a lot of family support during the next several months. Patients usually experience various degrees of depression. In my opinion, from dealing with hundreds of patients, the speed of her recovery will depend a lot on her state of mind. As far as the cancer returning ..." He shrugged. "Statistics tell us that there's a strong chance it won't, but unfortunately real life doesn't always respond to statistics. I'm sorry I can't tell you for certain that your daughter will be cancer-free for the rest of her life, but I can't honestly do that. What I can tell you is that if she's careful and has regular checkups, any reoccurrence will be detected early and dealt with." He stood and stretched. "I'll be in the hospital for a while yet, and I'm only a phone call away if problems should arise." Dr. Wray left before they could question him further.

Jody glanced up to see nervous eyes peering at them. She could almost feel the rest of the room pulling away. She and Denise were now the shunned. It was the two of them sitting alone. The rest of the room drew back, afraid Jody and Denise's pain and distress would somehow transfer to them.

Jody didn't know how long they sat staring into s.p.a.ce, but at some point a nurse came in and told them Ellen was in her room. She gave them directions and left.

Following the nurse's directions, Jody and Denise made their way through a maze of corridors to Ellen's room. They stood outside the door, almost hesitant to enter.

"Come on," Jody prompted as she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Ellen was so pale she seemed to be a part of the white bed linen. As they approached the bed, Jody tried to swallow her panic at the numerous tubes that led from Ellen's body to a mult.i.tude of machines. Jody brushed a lock of hair away from Ellen's forehead. She longed to hold her, but the wires from what Jody a.s.sumed were to blood-pressure and heart monitors intimidated her. The heart monitor emitted a steady blip .. . blip...blip. Jody began to find the noise rea.s.suring.

"She looks so small," Jody said as her eyes drifted to Ellen's breast. "How can something so deadly be in someone so young and vibrant? It's not fair. Ellen is so full of life." Jody recalled their trip to the zoo and how animated and playful Ellen had been.

"She's so still and pale," Denise whispered.

"You don't have to whisper."

Jody and Denise both jumped at the sound of the voice. Jody turned to see a nurse. She had not heard her come in.

The nurse took the clipboard from the foot of the bed and moved to Ellen's side. Jody stepped around and stood by Denise. Jody began to fidget as the nurse checked each of the monitors before scribbling something on the clipboard.

"Is she okay?" Jody asked as she gripped the railing on the bed.

The nurse looked up and nodded. "She's doing fine."

Jody slowly exhaled. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath.

"She may be in pain when she wakes up," the nurse said. "If so, this is a morphine pump." She pointed to a tube-like device near Ellen's hand. "You can pump it for her, or when she's able, she can do it herself."

"How will we know how much?" Denise asked.

The nurse shook her head. "It's regulated. You can't give her too much. If she complains of any pain, go ahead and pump. We don't want the pain to get too severe and get out of control." She hung the clipboard on the end of the bed. "She will sleep for a while yet. If she wakes and needs anything, just ring for us." She pointed to a call b.u.t.ton, then tucked the blanket around Ellen's feet. "She may be cold when she wakes up. If so, let me know and I'll bring another blanket. There's a cup of chipped ice here, in case she's thirsty. You can give her a little if she wants it." She started to leave.

"Thank you," Jody said.

The nurse turned and nodded slightly before departing.

Denise and Jody pulled the chairs closer to the bed and waited.

As time crawled by, Jody tried to think of ways she could rea.s.sure Ellen. Dr. Wray had warned them that Ellen could suffer from depression after the surgery. Jody made up her mind to do everything in her power to let Ellen know how much she loved her.

"Jody," Ellen called, her voice so raspy it cracked.

Jody and Denise were instantly at Ellen's side. Jody looked down into Ellen's drug-fogged eyes.

"Tell me," she whispered. "Did they get it all?"

"Yes. Dr. Wray said he's confident they got everything."

"Are you thirsty?" Denise asked as she held up the cup of crushed ice that had been replaced each time a nurse came around.

Ellen nodded.

Denise used a spoon to ease the ice between Ellen's lips. Jody had a sudden flashback of watching Denise feed Ellen when she was a baby.

Denise scooped a small amount of ice onto the tip of the spoon. "Can you eat some more ice?"

Ellen turned her head and looked into Jody's eyes. Jody felt the world stop. As she gazed into Ellen's eyes, she realized there was nothing she wouldn't do for her. She'd waited her entire life for this woman.

"I love you," Jody said. "Everything is going to be all right. We'll work this out together. Are you hurting?"

"No. Stay with me," Ellen whispered, her eyes already closing.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jody promised.

They returned to their seats to continue their vigil.

Denise stared at Ellen for several minutes before she spoke. "Jody, you're my best friend, but I feel I have to protect Ellen."

Exhausted, Jody rubbed her hands over her face. Denise's parental need to protect was wearing thin. "I'm not going to hurt her!"

"You're nineteen years older than she is. When you start drawing your Social Security she'll be our age. She'll only be fifty-one when you're seventy."

Jody shook her head and put a rein on her temper. "Denise," she began, "I've done the math a dozen times. I know I'm a lot older. I've come to realize during these last few days that age doesn't always matter. I know you're worried that Ellen will have to wipe the drool off my chin in twenty years, but I've had to accept the fact that Ellen may not even be alive in twenty years. Life doesn't always play by the rules."

Denise flinched and Jody reached out to comfort her.

"I'm not trying to be cruel. None of us knows how much time we have left. Denise, I want to make a life with her, and I need your blessing. We can do it without your acceptance, but I don't want the happiest time of my life tarnished with the loss of my best friend. And she needs you now more than ever. Please. Give us a chance."

Denise stood and gazed down at Ellen. "She's all I have. I know I'm overly protective, but I don't want her to make the mistakes I've made." She took a deep breath and wiped a tear from her cheek. "When Beth arrived at my house, I thought she would be the perfect weapon to fight you with. She's Ellen's age, beautiful, and seemed to love her so much. I thought Beth was a fighter. She had come all the way from California to try and convince Ellen to return to her. I was wrong, Jody. I'm sorry."

Jody felt a flicker of hope shoot through her.

Denise continued, "I have to be honest, I still have some reservations." She shrugged. "Your track record isn't that great, but for Ellen's sake I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."