Completely Smitten Part 44

"I didn't know about it until you woke up, and by then it was too late. I couldn't spell it back to normal. I couldn't fix it or you'd know about the magic. And you couldn't know. It wasn't right. Those aren't the rules we live by."

'I thought I went all the way down your leg', he had said when she had first told him about the broken ankle. She hadn't understood it at the time, thought it was a nonsequiter. Then he had apologized.

'I"didn't know you had broken your ankle.'

And he had seemed so guilty. That entire day, he had acted guilty and she hadn't understood why.

She did now.

"You were an athlete," he said, "and I ruined it. I got in the way of your trip. You could have kept going, but I shortened it. Then I was afraid there was permanent damage. There was nothing I could do. I was so glad when you started to run again."

He meant it. He was saying all of this as if he meant it. "And all the time you were so strong. Taking everything with grace and humor."

She stood. Maybe, when she heard things that made her uncomfortable, she was as restless as he was.

"I looked into those eyes of yours, and I was so lost." He emphasized the word "lost" and she wondered if he knew that she had thought of Andrew Vari as lost, in a different way. Like a lost soul. "You had me from that moment."

She took a step toward him.

"Then I saw someone else in there, someone lurking. I didn't know who it was--I never do. I only know when I see you both together. The soul mate. He was in there, waiting--for how long I had no idea, and I knew. I knew I would have to pair you with another man, and I couldn't face it." He leaned against the window frame, still not looking at her. "G.o.d knows, I couldn't face it. So I tried to shove you away. I only had one more couple to put together, and I figured that if I didn't see you, I might meet another pair of soul mates, someone else. Someone who wouldn't break my heart."

Ariel took another step toward him.

He turned, slowly, and for the first time, she saw both of them at the same time in his face--Andrew Vari and Darius--tall and short, handsome and homely, warm and cynical, all wrapped in one person, and looking at her with such sadness, and such love.

"And there I was," he said. "A full-time troll pretending to be Prince Charming. I thought it was a plus. I thought you'd never have to see me again. I thought you'd never recognize Andvari as Darius."

"So you ran away," she said.

"I didn't run away." Then he shook his head slightly. "All right, that day I stayed away. And I didn't expect you at the airport. Everywhere I turned around, there you were."

He ran his fingers through his hair again. She had never noticed that as one of his nervous tics before. There was so much she didn't know about him.

"I fell for you so hard that I thought it had to be some kind of spell. I even went to Cupid, because he had visited me that morning, and told him to take the spell off."

"Cupid?" she asked. "The real Cupid?"

"The real Cupid," Darius said. "Not the cherub you're thinking of. A grubby little man who occasionally wears wings. He lied to me. He said he'd hit you with an arrow, not me."

Her entire body froze. She had seen that man in the woods just before she met Darius. But Cupid hadn't hit her with an arrow. He had missed, then snapped the arrow in half and tossed it in his quiver.

"I don't," she started, stopped, and then tried again. "I don't understand. Who did he hit?"

"No one. He screwed up. The Fates have sent him away, permanently. Those wings and arrows were a sentence just like mine was."

"How romantic," Ariel said.

Darius smiled. "I guess, yeah. It's weird that he's become the spitting image for all that's romantic. He's the least romantic man on the planet."

"So what are you telling me?" she asked.

"I went to the Fates," he said. "I asked them to give you your life back, to take the spell off."

She slipped her own hands in the pockets of her jeans. For some reason, she was feeling very nervous.

"And they told me there was no spell, and that you were my soul mate, and that we were the hundredth couple. We were always meant to be the hundredth couple. And they congratulated me, took their spell off me, and gave me my life back."

He blinked hard, then crouched and whistled for Munin. The dog came right to him.

"Only they didn't give me my life back. They took it from me. I've been Andvari for almost three thousand years. I don't know how to be Darius. Blackstone won't speak to me. No one will recognize me. And you--they thought I was honest with you, but I wasn't. I didn't know how to be. I thought it wasn't possible, you and me, so I didn't pursue it. I sent you away at every turn. And there's just no hope. I've done horrible things to you, Ariel."

She couldn't move. She felt that if she said anything, she would stop him from speaking.

"I don't expect you to forgive me," he said. "I don't even really expect you to believe me. I've seen what happens to soul mates when things don't work out, when something gets in the way, and I have to be honest, usually it was me getting in the way. I'm not just Merlin. I'm the mythological Lancelot, and half a dozen others because I was a fool. Just like I've been a fool with you."

"Lancelot?" she asked.

"He got blamed, actually, for what I did. My life, my history, it's not pretty, Ariel."

"You've learned from it," she said. "Right?"

"The Fates think so."

"Do you think so?"

"I don't know," he said. "I've only looked like this for thirty-seven-thousand days out of the last twenty-seven-hundred years, in two-week intervals. And now I'm trapped in this body for the rest of my life."

"It's not a bad body," Ariel said with great understatement.

"It's not the one I'm used to. It's the one that made me an arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d the first time. I might revert."

"I doubt that," she said.

His gaze met hers. Munin wasn't even wriggling in his arms. "Thank you for that."

"I don't mean to be kind," she said.

"Sure you do," he said. "You're overwhelmed. I've just told you the moon is made of green cheese and I've shown you proof. Everything you believe is different now."

"Or maybe you just explained some parts of my life that seemed very odd to me," she said.

He walked toward her, still holding the puppy. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm sorry I did this wrong. I'm the one who is supposed to know all about love--that's what my life lesson was supposed to be--and I screwed it up. I hurt us both, and I didn't mean to."

Darius stopped in front of her and put a hand on her cheek. His skin was warm, his touch gentle.

"Dar--"

"Shh." He put a finger on her lips. Then he leaned in and kissed her. It was a slow kiss, a gentle kiss, so tender that it broke her heart.

Then, just as he had before, he pulled away. "I love you, Ariel. I will until the day I die."

With his thumb, he wiped his kiss off her lips and walked out the front door.

For the briefest of moments, she didn't move. He was right. He had turned her world around, but not for the reasons he thought. She had seen hints of things on the side of her vision, things that didn't seem quite normal. Believing in magic was not a stretch for her.

Believing that someone could love her was.

And he loved her enough to walk away because he thought he had hurt her beyond repair.

She ran toward the door and threw it open to see the last of a white light fading away in the driveway.

He had vanished. Literally. And she had no idea where he had gone.

*Nineteen*

Darius had zapped himself and his car home because he couldn't face the drive across town. He landed in the driveway, in the shade on the side of the house, and closed his eyes, no longer feeling safe here.

But he hadn't known where else to go. He knew he'd replay that disastrous conversation in his mind until the end of time. What he wanted the most was to distract himself from it.

He couldn't go back to Quixotic; Blackstone had made that clear. And Darius didn't dare see Ariel again.

He needed to leave Portland, start all over. Sell the house that no longer suited him, discover who Darius was without Andrew Vari, and figure out what he would do with his life. He no longer had a mission.

He was free.

Then why did he feel so trapped?

Darius got out of the car, then helped Munin out of the back. It felt as if he had had the puppy all his rife. Munin seemed to feel that way as well. He wasn't disconcerted by the magic or the changes in Dar's appearance. He seemed to accept all of it as normal.

"Sancho?" a female voice said.

Darius turned. Nora was standing on his front porch. He'd never realized how tiny she was. She had always been taller than he was. But not any longer. She was pet.i.te and compact, her blond hair catching the sun.

She was holding her purse in front of her, looking uncertain. He hadn't seen her look uncertain in years. But she clearly didn't recognize him. There was only one way she could have known it was him.

Blackstone had told her everything.

"I'm sorry, Nora," Darius said. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. It's just--"

"Nonsense," she said, coming down the steps toward him. "All you did was hurt Aethelstan's pride. He wasn't thinking about you. He was wondering how he could have missed all of this when the evidence was there. He was thinking about himself, forgetting that this isn't about him."

"It's about him, Nora," Darius said. "I haven't been honest with him from the start."

"Fiddle," she said, using a word he'd never heard her use before. "You were as honest as you could be. You wouldn't have been able to help us if Aethelstan had known that you were our matchmaker. He's so stubborn, he would have found a way around you. He would have chastised you or ignored you or made your life h.e.l.l. You did the best you could. You always have."

"You're very kind," Darius said.

"No, I'm not," Nora said. "I'm a lawyer. We're never kind."

He smiled in spite of himself.

"I figured you need a friend right now. You were there for me. I'm here for you. I don't have magical powers yet. I can't give you your heart's desire, but I can listen." She slipped her arm through his. "Let's go inside. I'll make you some tea, we'll talk about your new puppy, and if you want to tell me what you're feeling, you can. And if you want to be the strong silent type, you can do that too."

"You don't have to do this, Nora," Darius said.

"I know," she said. "And you didn't have to stay in Portland after our wedding, but you did. You're our friend, Sancho--Andrew--what do you prefer?"

"Dar, I guess. That's me now."

"Whatever you want to be, that's you," she said. "Although I'm not sure about this height thing. I'm going to be surrounded by a male forest."

"I wasn't thinking--"

"Of staying; I know," she said. "You feel like you've let everyone down. You haven't, San--Dar. If you left, everyone would figure out just how very important you are."

He put his hand over hers. He was touched beyond measure. He didn't deserve her kindness, not after the way he'd tricked them all. "Anyone could have done the things I did, Nora."

"Anyone?" she asked. "Just anyone could have cut short his vacation to prove to me that Aethelstan loved me."

"I didn't prove anything," Darius said. "He proved that to you."

"You kept us together, just like you made sure Michael and Emma got together. And I'll bet if we go inside, I could get you to tell me about dozens of other couples whose lives you've enriched."

"Because it was my sentence, Nora. My punishment. My job."

She slipped her hand out of his arm. "It seems to me that there's a strange little man named Cupid who violated probation because he couldn't do his job properly. Every single time he tried."

"He was just--"

"What? Wrong for the job? Bad at what he did? Didn't care about others? Unable to learn?"

Darius stared down at her. She had her hands on her hips. She looked fierce.

"I'd forgotten what a good attorney you are," he said.

She smiled. "I haven't used any of my attorney skills on you yet."

"But you will."

"If you persist in thinking you're the villain of this piece, yes, I will. I will use all my argumentative powers to prove you wrong. Now," she said, slipping her hand back through his arm, "we are going inside. And you're going to drink tea and talk with me, and we're going to have a pleasant afternoon."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.