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"Hey there yourself." Sam pushed a lock of hair back over my shoulder. Heat flared to life inside me at his gentle touch.
I kissed him lightly on the mouth and scooted back. I slipped out of his grasp and moved around the room, picking up and putting on my discarded clothes.
"You know, you could stay here with me." Sam patted the mattress. "There's plenty of room."
I eyed the thin sheet that just barely covered his fantastic body. It took all of my willpower not to shuck my clothes and throw myself on top of him. "As much as I'd love to stay and let you show me some more of your superpowers , duty calls. You have to go to work, and I still have an ubervillain to track down." Plus, I needed some s.p.a.ce, some time to think about what had happened.
I sat back down on the bed and pulled on my socks and shoes. Sam watched me run my fingers through my auburn hair in an effort to get some of the tangles out of it.
"Carmen, about last night-"
I put my fingers to his lips. "Don't say anything. Last night was wonderful. One of the best nights of my life. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"
After a moment, he nodded. I kissed him once more, got to my feet, and opened the door.
KarmaGirl.
Fiona stood outside, her hand poised in midair as if to knock.
I froze. Uh-oh.
Sam came up behind me, a sheet wrapped around his lean waist. "Carmen, what's the matter-"
Fiona's eyes widened. Her mouth dropped open. Her hair flamed to life. "Are the two of you-are you- are you sleeping together?"
I grimaced at the high-pitched screech. My karmic retribution had come around already to bite me on the a.s.s. I should have known better.
"How could you do this, Sam? Are you insane?"
"Fiona-"
"No." Her hair sparked and hissed. "Don't you dare try to explain this. She's the one who exposed Tornado, who wanted to expose us all for no other reason than the fact that she wanted to. She killed him, Sam, just as surely as if she'd pushed him out that window. Or did you conveniently forget that when she was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g your brains out?"
Sam's face paled. Guilt flashed in his eyes.
"I hope she was worth betraying us, Sam."
Fiona stared at me so hard I thought my hair would catch fire. "You b.l.o.o.d.y b.i.t.c.h," she snarled. "Wasn't it enough for you to find out who we all really are? Wasn't it enough for us to rescue you from Malefica? Wasn't it enough for us to bring you here? When will you be satisfied? When you've completely destroyed us?"
"Fiona-"
"And do you know what the worst part is? I almost felt sorry for you the other day when you told me your sob story about your fiance and best friend. What a fool I was. You expose Tornado, get us to rescue you and keep you safe, and now you've even seduced Sam. You're nothing but a manipulator.
You've done nothing but use us all from day one."
"It's not like that-"
Her balled fists burst into flames. "Don't you ever speak to me again, Carmen Cole. Don't even look at me. You're lucky I don't drop-kick your a.s.s all the way back to Bigtime. We should have let Malefica and Frost have your miserable, worthless, rotten hide. Saving you is a mistake I'll regret to my dying day."
Sam stepped forward and held out his hand. "Fiona, stop. That's enough. Quit attacking Carmen. We're both adults and what happened between us was perfectly mutual-"
"Shut up, Sam. It's obvious what part of your body you're thinking with at the moment. And it's definitely not your brain. I don't want to hear your sorry excuses."
Fiona stomped away. The carpet smoldered with every hot step she took. Smoke poured off her body and blackened the walls.
"I'm sorry about that," Sam said in a quiet voice. "She's wrong, you know."
"No," I whispered. "She's right. She's absolutely right. I did it. I exposed Travis because I was angry and hurt, and he killed himself because of it. Because of my need for revenge. Everyone knows it.
You're all just too kind to say it to my face."
Sam gripped my shoulders and made me face him. "Carmen, you're not responsible for Travis's death.
If anybody is, I am. He was my best friend. I should have known how troubled he was. I should have sensed something, anything. I'm the one who's to blame, not you."
Guilt and pain and grief darkened Sam's silver eyes. The sight burned me more than Fiona's hot words KarmaGirl.
ever could. My heart cracked. I'd caused him so much pain. I'd caused them all so much pain.
I was such a sad cliche. A woman scorned who had to take everyone else down with her. Sam, Striker, had asked me once why I did what I did, why I'd exposed all those superheroes and ubervillains.
Spite. Jealousy. Anger. Revenge.
Those were the real reasons. Not because superheroes lied or ubervillains stole or even because of my own warped view of karma. No, I'd wanted revenge on Matt and Karen, and I'd used everyone else as my scapegoats. A man was dead as a result of my haughty, selfish actions, and his friends were grieving his loss. I'd hurt the wrong people. I'd hurt Sam, the one person I would never, ever want to bring harm to.
"Carmen, it's not your fault. It never was," Sam said.
His words only increased my self-loathing. I'd made such a mess of everything. How could he stand to look at me? To touch me? I couldn't bear my own self. Sam might not blame me for Travis's death now, but one day he would. The newness would wear off our relations.h.i.+p, and he'd realize that he was so much better than me. That I didn't deserve him. He'd find someone else. Someone more suitable.
Another superrich superhero to share his life with. I couldn't bear that. I couldn't bear being tossed aside for someone else. Not again. Not from Sam.
I closed my eyes to try to shut out the image of Sam. But I couldn't. It was seared into my mind. My heart.
"This was a mistake, Sam. A huge mistake."
"Carmen-"
I backed up. "No, don't touch me. I just-I can't. I'm sorry."
I turned and ran down the hall.
KarmaGirl.
21.
I took the elevator and ran back upstairs to my room. But I couldn't outrun the pain in Sam's eyes. The pain I'd caused.
Tears trickled down my flushed face. I sank onto the bed and buried my head in my hands. What had happened to my steely resolve, my complete determination to stay away from Sam Sloane? Some determination. With one kiss, it melted faster than a bag of chocolate in Fiona's hot hands.
A long sigh escaped my lips. I'd just slept with a man who had been mourning his best friend. And the dead man's fiancee had caught us not quite in the act. Guilt rose up in me like a tidal wave. No good could come of this. My karma darkened, blackened with every second.
But I was halfway in love with Sam aka Striker Sloane. I loved his dry wit, his sense of duty, his kindness toward others. And oh, the way he kissed me. I got all tingly inside just thinking about it.
My guilt, my shame warred with my feelings for Sam. I couldn't leave Sublime, not without risking another run-in with Malefica. Despite everything, I didn't want to die or be turned into a monster. Deep down, I was a coward.
I paced the length of my suite, trying to figure out some solution to my latest catastrophe, some way to right all the wrongs. I decided to avoid the others like the plague. Especially Sam. It was the only thing I could do. If Sam walked past me, I would stare at the floor until he pa.s.sed. If he spoke to me, I would not reply. There would be no more longing glances. No more heated kisses. No more nights of hot superhero s.e.x.
I would uncover Malefica's real ident.i.ty, give it to the Fearless Five, and get the heck outta Dodge. I didn't belong here at Sublime among all the finery any more than a piece of coal belonged in a jewelry store. I didn't belong underground with the superheroes. And I certainly didn't belong with Sam Sloane.
Damaged, hazardous goods. That's what I was. A giant pool of radioactive waste that infected everyone who came into contact with me. I wanted, no I needed to go back to my safe, boring life. The one where n.o.body touched me, where n.o.body had the power to hurt me, and where the damage I did was limited to the society pages of The Expose.
So, I would avoid Sam. I would. The safety of my heart- of everyone's hearts-depended on it.
Two more nights pa.s.sed. I held firm to my decision to avoid the superheroes. I only came out of my suite when they were busy with their day jobs or out chasing criminals. Whenever I did b.u.mp into the others, I averted my eyes, mumbled some excuse, and ran away. Fiona glared at me whenever our paths crossed, wanting to boil me with her hot gaze. Chief Newman and Henry didn't say anything, but Fiona had told them about Sam and me. The knowledge glittered in their eyes.
Avoiding everyone wasn't my only problem. I still hadn't been able to uncover Malefica's ident.i.ty. I was missing something, something obvious among my papers and flowcharts and notes. I could feel it.
Too bad I had no idea what it was. Still, I worked feverishly at it, determined to leave Sublime before I brought another disaster down on Sam and the rest of the Fearless Five. Plus, my headaches had gotten even worse, to the point where they were almost debilitating. My vision blurred at least once an hour, and I was popping aspirin like a crack addict constantly in need of a fix.
After spending the morning fruitlessly searching through my papers, I went outside to the expansive gardens, hoping a little suns.h.i.+ne and fresh air would clear my mind and ease my throbbing head. Or at least cheer me up.
The gardens were exquisite. Flowers of all shapes and sizes lined the dirt beds and filled the air with KarmaGirl.
their fragrant scents. Roses, orchids, tulips, pansies, and more brightened the ground with their rainbow of colors. Hummingbirds darted in and out of the blossoms, along with bees and other nectar-seeking insects. More birds sang from the trees that towered over the gardens. It was a virtual paradise.
I ambled along the crushed-sh.e.l.l paths, stooped over, and plucked a rose off a ma.s.sive bush. I twirled the bright flower in my hand and plucked the petals off one by one. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me . . .
"Enjoying the gardens?"
I shrieked. Sam stood behind me. He looked oh-so-elegant in a dark blue suit and polished wingtips. My heart warmed, despite my best intentions.
"How many times do I have to tell you? Don't do that!"
Sam shrugged. "Sorry. Sneaking up on people is a habit of mine."
"I thought you had a meeting." My eyes darted around, looking for some means of escape. What excuse could I use to get away? Allergies? A bee sting? A sudden aversion to beautiful flowers?
"It got canceled. I thought I'd come out and get some fresh air. The chief thought it would be good for me. He thinks I've been working too hard."
My inner voice whispered, and my eyes narrowed. "The chief? That's the same thing he told me." He'd shouted out the words this morning as I ran down the hall away from him.
We stared at each other.
"I guess he wanted us to run into each other," I said.
"I guess so."
I s.h.i.+fted from one foot to the other. "Well, I was just going back to the house."
"Can I walk with you?"
I couldn't see a polite enough way to tell him no, so I gave in. "Sure." The truth was I missed him terribly. I wanted to be close to him, even if it was only for a little while.
We left the gardens and strolled across the ma.s.sive lawn. The house stood like a sleeping giant about a half mile away. I kept three feet of s.p.a.ce in between us. I wasn't about to tempt fate-or myself-again.
"So do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked.
"About what?"
"Our night together."
I stopped. My face flushed. "Oh. That."
"Yes, that." Sam cleared his throat. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."
"Oh." Disappointment swept over me. Evidently, he hadn't felt the things I'd felt during our time together. Even now, my fingers itched to touch him, to pull him toward me and lose myself in his hot embrace.
"I'm sorry because I was hurting, and I took advantage of you."
"That's okay. I don't mind. You can take advantage of me anytime."
Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Er, what I mean is . . . um, if you feel the need . . . I mean, if you want to . . ." My voice trailed off under his intense scrutiny. "Never mind."
"Anyway, I wanted to apologize. I've been avoiding you because of that . . . and other things. I thought you should know why."
"I've been avoiding you too." I sighed, suddenly tired of dancing around Sam Sloane. "Look, I like you, Sam. I really do. You're a great guy. Intelligent, funny, charming, a good kisser, and more gorgeous KarmaGirl.
than any man has a right to be. The other night was absolutely fantastic. One of the best nights of my life. Certainly the best s.e.x of my life."
"But . . ."
I took in a deep breath. "But it would never work out between us. We live in two completely different worlds. You're a billionaire playboy. I'm a lowly society reporter. You're a superhero. I exposed superheroes for a living. And with Tornado's suicide and Malefica lurking around, there's just too much bad karma in the mix." Every single thing I said was true, but the words still hurt. My inner voice whimpered.
"And I'm pretty sure Fiona would fry me alive if she found out I was sticking around a second longer than necessary," I said in an effort to lighten the mood. That was me. Plucky to the bitter, bitter end.
A ghost of a smile crossed Sam's face. "Fiona probably would fry me too."
We stood there on the lawn, still and silent. My eyes locked onto Sam's handsome face, memorizing every curve, every line. Soon, memories would be all that I had left. A dull ache formed in my heart.
I stuck out my hand before I did something stupid, like beg him to kiss me. "So, just friends then?"