Treading Water: Coming Home Part 8

"I was consumed by jealousy. Every time I read you were with someone new, I wanted to find them and beat the h.e.l.l out of them and tell them you were mine. Mine." He kissed her. "Always mine."

"Yes," she whispered. "I was always yours. From the very beginning. I've never wanted anyone else."

"But there've been others..."

"None that mattered."

"Kate..." He wrapped his arms tight around her. "I can't believe you're here and I'm holding you and telling you these things I've kept secret all this time."

"I can't believe it either. I've spent so many nights on my tour bus, watching the world go past my window, wondering where you were and if you were happy, if you thought of me at all. So many nights. Almost every night."

"We've wasted so much time."

Kate looked up at him. "What about... What about Mari?"

"I care for Mari," he said, a pained look occupying his handsome features. "She's a lovely person, but I never made her any promises."

"Were you together a long time?"

"Six months."

"Do you love her?"

"I love her, but I'm not in love with her."

"Oh. You aren't?"

"I couldn't be."

"What do you mean?"

"How could I be in love with her when I never stopped being in love with you?"

Kate stared up at him, wondering if he'd really said that or if she'd wanted it so badly she'd imagined it.

He framed her face and tipped her head back to receive his kiss, which was gentle this time, as opposed to wild. "Don't cry," he whispered. "Please don't cry. It'll be okay now."

Kate hadn't realized tears were flowing from her eyes until he swept them away with his thumbs. "I want to believe it'll work out the way we want it to, but all I can think about are the many reasons it wasn't okay last time."

"That was a long time ago. A lot has changed since then."

"Not everything. Your son still doesn't speak to me, for one thing."

"That's his problem, not ours."

"It's not that simple. There're so many things to consider."

"And none of them have to be considered tonight," he said, kissing her. "Or tomorrow." Another kiss. "Or even the next day." As he spoke, he backed her away from the wall and guided her toward the bedroom. "Do you want me to go?"

Shaking her head, she said, "I want you to stay forever."

His grin lit up his face as he came down on top of her on the bed.

Kate ran her fingers through his hair, over and over, relearning every feature of his gorgeous face. "What happened here?" she touched her finger to a new scar that ran through his right eyebrow.

"A tropical storm blew through a couple of years ago. I was helping a friend replace a window at his house when a piece of the broken one caught me just so."

"Ouch. Did you need st.i.tches?"

"Three."

Kate brought him down close to her and pressed three kisses to the scar, making him smile.

"You've been ill," he said, tracing his finger over the dark circles under her eyes.

"Pneumonia. Hit me hard."

"I read about what happened in Oklahoma City."

"That was pretty scary."

"You're pus.h.i.+ng yourself too hard."

"I don't have anything else to do. My work is my life."

"Ah, Kate... I've learned the hard way there's so much more to life than work." He s.h.i.+fted off her and propped himself up on an elbow.

Filled with questions she was dying to ask him, Kate turned to face him. The questions, she decided, were more important than the pa.s.sion. "Do you miss your work?"

"Not at all. I do exactly what I want all day, every day. I get asked to consult on a lot of what goes on around here. If I feel like it, I do. If I don't, I say no. I've overseen the building of affordable housing here, which is very rewarding. It's a heck of a lot more fun than working twenty hours a day, that's for sure."

"Don't you ever get bored?"

"Nope. There's so much to do. I love to sail and scuba dive and fish. Fis.h.i.+ng is so relaxing. I had no idea."

"I haven't been fis.h.i.+ng since I lived at home."

"Did you like it back then?"

"I did. I was kinda good at it, too."

"You should do it again sometime. I also like to mess around with old abandoned boats, like the one I was working on today."

"What do you do with them after you fix them up?"

"I give them to local kids, who use them to fish." He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. "I used to dream of the life I have now, you know? I'd be flying off to Chattanooga or Memphis or Knoxville to check on jobs, and all the way there I'd dream about living in the islands in a small place on the beach with nothing to do all day other than what I felt like doing."

"You worked hard for a long time to be able to do this."

"Yes, I did."

"My life is in Nashville," she reminded him.

"When you're home."

"When I'm home."

"How's Thunder?"

The mention of the beloved horse he'd give her after they broke up made her smile. "Wonderful-and human-as always. I swear he understands me better than most of the people in my life do."

"He always did get you, right from the very beginning, remember?"

"I remember everything. I remember every single minute we spent together, because I've relived every one of them a million times. The night you took me riding in the snow... I've never done anything more amazing."

"I think about that night a lot, too. It was so perfect." He continued to twirl the lock of hair around his finger, again and again. "That was the night you gave me the song you wrote for me."

"'I Thought I Knew,' still my biggest hit. I end every show with it."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

Half his face lifted into a small smile that lit his eyes.

"Oh G.o.d, have you been to my shows?"

"Maybe. Once or twice. Four times, actually," he said with a sheepish grin.

"Oh, Reid! Why didn't you ask to see me?"

"I didn't think I'd be welcome after the way we left things."

Kate closed her eyes and let go with a deep, pained sigh. "It was all my fault."

"No, it wasn't. We made a mess of things together, and we can both take a share of the blame. Something you said to me that last day has stayed with me all this time."

She opened her eyes and met his gaze. "What?"

"You said everyone thought I was too old for you and how funny it was that you'd been the adult in our relations.h.i.+p."

Kate grimaced at the reminder of that hurtful comment. "And I acted like such an adult that day."

"You were right, though. You very specifically asked me not to call in any favors for you, and I did it anyway. I loved you so much. I wanted you to have everything you'd ever dreamed of."

"I know that now, and I should've known then that the only reason you did it was because you loved me and wanted me to succeed."

"The way I went about it was wrong, though. I regret that. I've always regretted it. I should've told you I knew Buddy and Taylor, and introduced you to them and let you decide whether or not you wanted their help. I wish you knew how many times I've wanted to go back and rewrite that chapter of my life. I also never would've lied to my son. That, too, was a very big mistake I paid for dearly."

Kate reached for his hand and linked their fingers. "You two are okay now, right?"

"We're great, but it took a long time. A very long time."

"I hate that I was responsible for the falling out between you two. I've had a lot of regrets about that and my role in it."

"You weren't responsible, darlin'. I was the one who lied to him. Not you."

"Still..."

"How about you and your daddy? All your fences mended?"

"A long time ago. After Maggie got hurt, we put it all aside. I hate that it took such an awful thing to bring us back together, but I was glad to clear the air with him. I also think about that day at the hospital and the way my Uncle Jamie treated you after you'd been good enough to fly me home and get me to the hospital. I hated that. I always wanted you to know. I had a big argument with him over it after Maggie was better. It wasn't his place to treat you that way."

"Sure, it was. I'd had a s.e.xual affair with his eighteen-year-old niece. He had every right to feel the way he did."

"Still, it was my business and yours, not his."

"Maybe so, but I never begrudged him for the way he reacted to me that day."

"I begrudged him enough for both of us."

Reid laughed.

"How about Miss Martha? Do you see her?"

"She comes to visit for a week every February. She loves to fish, and she's crazy good at it."

"Why can I so picture that?"

"She's a pistol."

"So many people got hurt," Kate said. "We might be better off leaving well enough alone."

"Is that what you want, darlin'?" He looked at her with concern etched into his face. "Because it if is, I'd certainly understand. I'm still way too old for you, no matter how you cut it."

"You were never too old for me. People spend their whole lives looking for what we had. The age difference wasn't a factor for us. Everyone else was upset about it, but we never were."

"No, we weren't, but I'll always be twenty-eight years older than you, and you have a right to a young husband and a family and a long life with the man you love."

"You're the man I love. You're the man I've always loved. That's one of the simple facts of my very complicated life."

He cupped her cheek and leaned over to give her a lingering kiss. "I'm going to go now."

Startled, Kate said, "Why?"

"I woke up this morning in bed with someone else. I never expected to see you again. I think we both need to sleep on this and make sure we're making clear-headed decisions and not heat-of-the-moment decisions."

Though Kate wanted him to stay and had expected him to, what he said made a lot of sense. "When will I see you again?"