Somewhere Inside Part 10

After Min-Jin walked out of the room, Hyung-Yee approached me, opened a drawer in the desk, and pulled out some candy. She handed me some corn candies and flavored rice snacks. She pointed to the couch where Min-Jin usually sat and waved her finger from side to side. I understood immediately that she didn't want me to tell Min-Jin that she had shared the treats with me. "Thank you, thank you," I said to her gratefully in Korean. She popped a sweet into her mouth, smiled, and went back to reading her book.

At the end of each day, Mr. Yee would collect whatever confession pages I had finished and inspect the handwriting. After I had completed the confession to his satisfaction, he showed up with a red ink pad and instructed me to fingerprint each page. I was told that the trial would take place on June 4, just two weeks away.

ONE DAY M MR. YEE gave me a brief lesson in North Korean Communist thought and the official ideology known as Juche. gave me a brief lesson in North Korean Communist thought and the official ideology known as Juche.

"The nucleus of Juche," he explained, "is that man determines his own destiny. Man is responsible for his actions. He is the master of everything. Do you understand?"

"Yes. So according to Juche, I must determine how I am going to get through this and get home."

The corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly. "That is correct," he replied.

I tried to apply the philosophy of Juche to my own situation. I knew I couldn't just sit by and wait for something to happen. But there was only so much I could do while being confined in a room. More than anything, I wanted to contact Lisa. Even though she was considered an enemy of the state, I knew she could use her connections to have more attention paid to our situation, something the North Koreans might care about more than anything. On a number of occasions, Mr. Yee had mentioned how quiet our families and the U.S. government were being. He said he believed the U.S. government was muzzling our families to make the story disappear from the public consciousness.

He also said that though some people in the North Korean government would send us home under the right circ.u.mstances, other hard-liners wanted to send us to a labor camp immediately. If Lisa could get the media to focus on our situation, the North Koreans might see this as movement toward some action.

The problem was that I didn't know how to reach her. I didn't want to send another letter, which was a purely one-way conversation. I decided to ask Mr. Yee if I could telephone Lisa. I didn't think any previous American detainee had been allowed to call home, but during one of our walks, I tried to convince Mr. Yee that allowing me to speak with Lisa might yield results and get them what they wanted.

"You will be able to listen in on our conversation," I said. "We can go over everything I'm going to say beforehand. There are things I can convey to her that I can't say in a letter or to the Swedish amba.s.sador."

"Like what?" he asked.

I mentioned Lisa's relations.h.i.+p with various media figures, including Oprah Winfrey and Jon Klein, the president of CNN.

"If the U.S. government is really trying to keep things quiet, they may not want to hear me telling Lisa to go to the media," I said. "Do you see why it's better to make a phone call?"

I didn't really believe the U.S. government would care what message I had about the media, but I was desperate to hear Lisa's voice and to let her hear mine. It was the most convincing reason I could think of.

"I understand," he replied, nodding. "I will think about it."

Nearly two weeks after my first request to call Lisa, Mr. Yee told me that I might have an opportunity to phone my family. He asked what would be the best time to call. I figured it would be best to call them in the evening, which was around 2:00 P.M. P.M. Pyongyang time. Pyongyang time.

One morning, he came to my room and asked to go over what I wanted to say to Lisa. My main message was for Lisa to try to ignite some media coverage of our case. I wanted to stress the need to act swiftly before a trial, which I'd been told would most likely end in the worst possible way.

Once again I was taken to a conference room at the Yanggakdo Hotel, where a telephone was placed on a lace doily on top of a long wooden table. Before we got to the hotel, Mr. Yee had told me I could call Lisa, Iain, and my parents. But when we arrived at the hotel, he changed his mind and said that there wasn't enough time to call my parents. I pleaded with him until he finally consented. Mr. Baek left the room to listen in on my calls and presumably to translate the conversations for the authorities. I was left alone in the room with Mr. Yee.

Just picking up the telephone receiver seemed slightly strange. I hadn't used or even seen a phone in more than two months. I carefully dialed my mother's number and anxiously waited for her to answer. After a couple of rings, I heard her voice. I was so overcome with emotion that it was hard to speak. But I didn't want to let her or my father hear me cry. I could only imagine the heartache my parents were experiencing from my absence. I was their little girl. I struggled hard to hold back my tears. I didn't speak with either of my parents for more than one or two minutes. But just hearing their voices and allowing them to hear mine was a blessing. I a.s.sured them that I was being treated fairly and that I was holding up okay.

When I spoke with Iain, I broke down. His soft voice crackled with emotion.

"I miss you so much," I sobbed.

"I miss you too," he replied, in a voice so weak it was almost hard to make out his words. He asked me how I was being treated and if I was getting his letters.

"I'm okay," I said. "I'm being strong. And, baby, your letters are keeping me going, thank you." I told him that I thought about him every second of the day, and that I reserved that special time at 9:00 A.M. A.M. for us to be together. for us to be together.

"That's our time," I said. "No matter what happens." I also asked that he continue to include in his letters as much information as possible about any geopolitical goings-on that might factor into our situation.

"I'm sorry that I risked everything in our life together," I cried.

"Don't you ever give up," he replied. "We are never going to give up."

Then it was time to call Lisa. I was told I'd have roughly ten minutes to speak. I dialed Lisa's number and waited anxiously for her to pick up.

LISA.

THE DAY AFTER N NORTH K KOREA'S nuclear test, Paul and I were tuning in and out of an nuclear test, Paul and I were tuning in and out of an Iron Chef Iron Chef rerun when the call came. It was 10:15 rerun when the call came. It was 10:15 P.M P.M. on a Tuesday, more than two months since Laura was captured. The caller ID on my cell phone said it was coming from a blocked number. I figured it was my mom or dad, the only two people I know who have blocked numbers.

I was a little agitated by the late-hour call, but I answered the phone to hear a distant, little voice.

"Hi, Li, it's me!"

"Oh my G.o.d, Baby!" I exclaimed. "Where are you?"

"I'm still here," my sister's voice replied. "I'm still in North Korea. I'm scared," she continued, breaking into tears.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" I asked. "How are you being treated?"

"I'm okay. I'm being treated fairly." Then she said, "Li, I need your help."

My head was spinning, and I practically froze and couldn't speak. All of a sudden I became certain that our conversation was being monitored and that we had to be careful of what we said. I didn't want to ask anything that would make Laura's situation worse, but I wanted so much to know if my partic.i.p.ation in the National Geographic doc.u.mentary had doomed her in any way. I also didn't know if Laura knew that the country holding her captive had just tested a nuclear weapon. I decided to let Laura do most of the talking.

"Li, I have confessed to some very serious crimes," she said. "My only hope is that there can be some kind of diplomatic action. Our countries have to talk."

It sounded so simple, and if we'd been discussing almost any other country, this "talking" could definitely have been achievable. But North Korea's government had chosen the path of isolation-even from its closest ally, China. It had stopped communicating with everyone. So why had they let Laura call me? Were the country's leaders now talking through Laura? Over and over again she kept telling me that the United States needed to talk directly to North Korea.

"There needs to be some kind of diplomacy," she said several times.

The message they were sending through my sister was clear. I so wanted to tell her that both Al Gore and Bill Richardson had volunteered to go to Pyongyang to get them, but I wasn't sure if I should use names over an open phone line. The State Department had told us that the North Korean government had never allowed calls from other Americans who had been detained. This was part of the game. I figured that it was about to be my turn to communicate with the people holding my sister.

I furiously scribbled notes as Laura repeated the need for a dialogue between the United States and North Korea. It became clear to me that this was not going to be an easy release. By allowing my sister to talk about diplomacy, the North Korean government seemed to be communicating that they wanted something, and whatever it was, it was going to have to be big. I wanted to speak to Laura, but I also had to figure out what to say to the North Korean leaders.h.i.+p.

"Baby Girl," I said, trying to say what I thought those listening in wanted to hear, "I am so sorry this happened. We are all so sorry. I really hope your captivity can be kept separate from the geopolitical issues. They are two totally different things and it just wouldn't be right if they were tied together. Have faith, baby. I truly believe in the goodness of people and hope you and Euna will be allowed to come home to your families. That would be such a positive gesture to show the world."

I then told Laura that all of us had kept quiet and had not spoken publicly since her detainment. After a slight pause, and in a soft but deliberate voice, Laura replied, "I think it's been too quiet."

Laura then said she had to get off the phone. Hanging up with her was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It had been more than two months since I had heard her voice, and I didn't know when I would hear it again. But my orders from my sister were clear-it was time to go public. Laura also asked me to share what she'd just conveyed to me with Iain and my parents. Her captors had let her call them as well but very briefly.

Right away, my parents, Iain, and I got on a conference call to compare notes on our individual conversations with Laura. I recounted everything she had told me and reiterated the point that it was time to break the silence. Laura essentially said the same thing to both of our parents, which was that she was okay and that she missed them very much. Iain didn't share much of what Laura had said to him other than her sorrow that she had ruined their lives.

Every one of us agreed that it was time to go public. This came straight from Laura's mouth, whether they were her own words or those of the people holding her. I phoned Kurt Tong at the State Department and Al Gore to tell them that we were setting out a plan of action. I didn't really give either man a chance to object. I explained that the message from Laura was clear, and our family had unanimously decided to move forward and go public. Gore did interject a disclaimer.

"I personally don't think it's the right thing to do," he said, "but I cannot stop you if that is the decision you and the family have made."

As soon as I got off the phone with the former vice president, I consulted a number of professors of North Korean studies as well as diplomats about the message. The general consensus was that if our message came out wrong, it could inflame the North Korean government. If the regime found itself challenged in any way, it could make matters worse for Laura and Euna. Everyone, except Governor Richardson, advised against talking to the media.

The governor told me he'd learned from his previous dealings with North Korea that its leaders.h.i.+p sought out publicity. I wondered if this could be a way for the North Korean government to save face, given the volatility in the political spectrum. Perhaps we could give the regime a reason to make a kind gesture, by publicly apologizing on behalf of the girls and their families and asking for forgiveness. Governor Richardson thought this approach might work.

"If they agree to release the girls, they'll want the act to be acknowledged as an act of humanitarian goodwill," he explained.

It was a hugely risky endeavor, and I think most of the high-level people involved feared we would stick our feet in our mouths. But I couldn't let that happen. On Monday morning we would launch a full-blown media campaign. My twenty years in the television business were being put to the test. This would be the most important story of my life. We had to convey Laura's message, and I knew her captors would be watching.

LAURA.

I WAS EUPHORIC AT THE SOUND WAS EUPHORIC AT THE SOUND of Lisa's voice. I clutched the phone so tightly during our conversation that my hand hurt. It was as if I were hoping I could break through the line and reach her. I knew she was doing everything in her power to get me home. I knew we would give our own lives for each other. of Lisa's voice. I clutched the phone so tightly during our conversation that my hand hurt. It was as if I were hoping I could break through the line and reach her. I knew she was doing everything in her power to get me home. I knew we would give our own lives for each other.

I thought back to the night before I started kindergarten. We shared a bedroom and were nestled in our beds. One of our nightly rituals involved us imagining ourselves in a s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p traveling to far-off lands and galaxies. We had a robot named Irona, just like the one in the Richie Rich cartoons. Together, Irona, Lisa, and I would ward off evildoers and save the world from destruction. In one fantasy adventure, Lisa, who usually did the narrating, started giving Irona and me our instructions. "Now it's time to say the Pledge of Allegiance!" she ordered. I was silent. I didn't know the Pledge of Allegiance but was too embarra.s.sed to admit it.

"Lau!" Lisa shouted. "It's your turn to say the pledge!"

"What's the pledge?" I asked.

"Oh my G.o.d, you don't know the Pledge of Allegiance? What are you going to do tomorrow at school?"

Suddenly our s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p ritual didn't seem so much fun. I didn't understand how this pledge could affect my first day of school. Lisa told me I needed to be prepared and began going over the lines of the pledge until I had memorized each word. "See, it's not so hard," she said. "You're going to be great." We were each other's protectors, coconspirators, and best friends.

One thing during our phone call still confused me. "Lau, things are really complicated," Lisa had said. "Do you know about the nuclear test?"

"Yes, I know. I know it's a tough time right now. Just do what you can," I replied.

The words "nuclear test" didn't register with me while we were on the phone. I thought Lisa was referring to the satellite launch I'd seen on the North Korean news weeks earlier. But later, as I was running the call through my mind, I thought, Did she actually say "nuclear test"? Did she actually say "nuclear test"? I thought back to the various news reports I'd seen on television. There was always some rally or another going on. I felt certain that one of them had to be in celebration of a recent nuclear test. I thought back to the various news reports I'd seen on television. There was always some rally or another going on. I felt certain that one of them had to be in celebration of a recent nuclear test.

LISA.

I HAD TO ACT FAST HAD TO ACT FAST. My sister's trial was coming up in nine days, so we had to do everything right. Our family had gotten requests for interviews from every news outlet imaginable, but we had turned down all of them. Now we had to be strategic. My friend Alanna Zahn, a longtime publicist, took on our effort full-time and for free. She contacted the Today show because it was the biggest morning news show in America and one of the hosts, Meredith Vieira, was a colleague of mine from our days as cohosts of The View The View. It was important that we be interviewed by people who understood how careful we had to be.

The Today Today show agreed to bring our family on to make our plea. I asked Euna's husband, Michael Saldate, if he would join us with their four-year-old daughter, Hana. I could only imagine how hard it would be for Michael to put his daughter on TV and through a media maelstrom, but we needed to have little Hana be a part of our media blitz. If the girls' captors were watching, I wanted them to see this little child in anguish over the absence of her mother. Euna had not conveyed the same information to Michael that Laura gave to me, so he was skeptical about going public. Michael didn't tell me too much about his conversation with Euna because it seemed to be much more personal in nature. However, he finally relented about going to the press after much persuasion from Iain and me. We were grateful; we needed Hana to make our appeal. show agreed to bring our family on to make our plea. I asked Euna's husband, Michael Saldate, if he would join us with their four-year-old daughter, Hana. I could only imagine how hard it would be for Michael to put his daughter on TV and through a media maelstrom, but we needed to have little Hana be a part of our media blitz. If the girls' captors were watching, I wanted them to see this little child in anguish over the absence of her mother. Euna had not conveyed the same information to Michael that Laura gave to me, so he was skeptical about going public. Michael didn't tell me too much about his conversation with Euna because it seemed to be much more personal in nature. However, he finally relented about going to the press after much persuasion from Iain and me. We were grateful; we needed Hana to make our appeal.

There would have to be a CNN play because I learned from former chief news executive Eason Jordan, who had visited North Korea years ago, that the Dear Leader watches the network and receives a direct feed. Wendy Walker, executive producer of Larry King's show, told me that we could have the hour to make our appeal.

In our message, Iain and I were very careful not to blame the North Koreans. We had to be careful not to accuse them of having done anything wrong. We wanted to suggest that this might be a unique opportunity for North Korea and the United States-two countries without diplomatic ties-to communicate directly. Most important, we needed to stress that our issue should be kept separate from the larger geopolitical and nuclear issues. We also made a conscious decision to refer to Laura and Euna as "the girls" to somehow convey to the North Korean leaders.h.i.+p a sense of vulnerability about them. We didn't want the North Koreans to use Laura and Euna as leverage for their nuclear ambitions. As we were preparing to leave for New York, we combed through our notes, and I gave my parents specific and emotional talking points that we rehea.r.s.ed over and over.

On the plane to New York, Iain and I went over and over the points: "We are sorry. When they left the United States, they never had any intention of crossing the border into North Korea. Only Laura and Euna know what happened on the border that day. This could be a unique opportunity for direct dialogue and diplomacy. We miss Laura terribly. We are very concerned about Laura's recurring ulcers."

The morning of our Today Today show appearance, Meredith's flight got delayed from where she was reporting, so Matt Lauer ended up interviewing us. I had known Matt for a long time, and before the interview started, I let him know about the sensitivities involved. We were dealing with such an unpredictable regime that we could not afford to deviate at all from our meticulously crafted message of apology. show appearance, Meredith's flight got delayed from where she was reporting, so Matt Lauer ended up interviewing us. I had known Matt for a long time, and before the interview started, I let him know about the sensitivities involved. We were dealing with such an unpredictable regime that we could not afford to deviate at all from our meticulously crafted message of apology.

The show went off without a hitch. My parents were terribly nervous and insecure about speaking publicly, and Matt was understanding of that. He directed the political questions to Iain and me, and together we were able to make our plea for compa.s.sion to the North Korean government. He asked my parents about how much they missed their youngest daughter and talked to Michael about how hard it was for Hana to be without her mother.

Larry King was next. We all jumped back on a plane to Los Angeles to tape the CNN show live. The hour-long program was to break down with me in the first block of the show, Iain and Euna's husband joining me in the second block, and my parents and me in the last. In my haste, I had forgotten to ask the producers to please tell Larry not to ask about my experience in North Korea.

During my one-on-one with Larry, he recalled that some years ago I had been in North Korea.

"You've been there before," he remarked. "What was it like?"

My heart started pulsating rapidly. "Uh, yes, I was there years ago and...uh, the people were very kind."

"What was it like?" Larry pressed.

"Well, it was interesting and the people were kind," I repeated. "It's not really germane to what's going on."

All of a sudden, Larry looked distracted. I could tell the control room was speaking to him through his earpiece; someone was telling him to stop asking about this. He stuttered a bit before quickly changing the topic.

Aside from that moment, the show went swimmingly. Michael didn't want Hana to be on the set with us, because hearing about her mom's detainment earlier that day on the Today Today show had upset her. So we had a producer stay with her in the greenroom with toys. From time to time throughout the broadcast, the show cut to the greenroom to take shots of Hana playing with her toys. We stayed on message and made our emotional, nonpolitical pleas. We had officially gone public. show had upset her. So we had a producer stay with her in the greenroom with toys. From time to time throughout the broadcast, the show cut to the greenroom to take shots of Hana playing with her toys. We stayed on message and made our emotional, nonpolitical pleas. We had officially gone public.

After our interview with Larry King, I went into the greenroom to remove my makeup. I saw that there was a message on my BlackBerry. It was from Kurt Tong from the State Department.

"Nice job," the e-mail read. "The tone was perfect."

I didn't hear from Al Gore at all the next day, so I decided I would phone him to get his thoughts. He picked up right away.

"Was it okay?" I asked nervously.

"Lisa," he said, "you all did a magnificent job."

LAURA.

DURING ONE OF OUR next walks, I asked Mr. Yee if he'd heard any news from the United States. next walks, I asked Mr. Yee if he'd heard any news from the United States.

"There's some news," he replied as we continued to stroll the walled compound.

I was caught off guard. Weeks had gone by without there being any encouraging information. I asked nervously, "What kind of news, good news?"

He said my family had appeared on various news programs in the United States, including Larry King Live Larry King Live and the and the Today Today show. My sister had come through with her promise to go public with our story. show. My sister had come through with her promise to go public with our story.

"That's good, isn't it?" I asked.

"We shall see," he answered. "Your family is working hard, but it's your government that needs to act.

"Your sister," he added, "she's really brilliant."

His demeanor had changed, and I saw this as an opportunity. I desperately hoped the North Koreans would see what could be gained by letting me speak with Lisa again. I was determined to figure out what it would take to get us released and how I could convey this to her in a future call.

"Was there a nuclear test conducted recently?" I asked.

With one eyebrow raised and a smirk, Mr. Yee responded, "How did you know about that?"

"My sister mentioned it on our call. At first I thought she was referring to the satellite launch, but after thinking about it, I specifically remember her saying 'nuclear test.'"

"Yes, we conducted a nuclear test. Would you like us to do another one just for you?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Thanks, but no thanks," I responded dejectedly. My optimism was starting to fade away. Did the North Korean authorities seriously think the United States would make any concessions for us after this defiant act?

Mr. Yee noticed that I had become sullen. "What is the matter?" he asked.

"It just keeps getting worse," I replied. "First a satellite launch, now a nuclear test. We're caught in the middle of this political game. I wish our situation could be separated from the politics, but I know that's not possible."