With Or Without Him Part 38

"He didn't know I'd been whipped too. All the anger left him when he saw my back. You lied to him."

"You're crazy. This is crazy." Malik turned to his father.

"You pushed us under a bus. That was you, not Ras.h.i.+d."

"Why would I do such a thing?"

"Because you've always hated me." Haris turned to his father. "It was Malik who told the police that Ras.h.i.+d and I had gone to the hotel."

His father gasped. "Why...why didn't you tell me this before?"

"You believe him?" Malik yelled. "He's lying."

"Oh my G.o.d," Tyler whispered.

"You were on the street when I was taken away by the police," Haris said. "I saw the smirk on your face. Then one of the policemen let it slip, deliberately I suspect."

"You should have told me," his father whispered.

Haris shrugged. "What difference would it have made? I'd still have been put on trial, whipped, exiled. You'd have lost two sons perhaps, not just one."

His father's fingers tightened on the chair arms. "Malik was always jealous of you. You were brighter, happier, better at everything."

"Of course you say that. You loved him more." Malik spat out the words.

"No, I did not."

"You still talk about him. I wonder how Haris is. I wonder what Haris is doing. I wonder if Haris is happy. You care more about a son who is missing than the two you have with you."

"You betrayed your brother when you were only a boy," his father said. "You couldn't have understood the consequences. You've lived with the guilt..."

Yes, he f.u.c.king did understand. He's a b.l.o.o.d.y cuckoo.

His father put his head in his hands.

Why did I tell him? What has it gained me? Haris's momentary pleasure that he'd finally told his father the secret he'd kept in his heart and that he'd been believed faded to regret. He glanced at Tyler. Some things were best left unspoken. He'd forced Tyler's hand by having him investigated. Haris wasn't sure whether or not he was glad he knew about the movies, about the parties. How could you ever know if you'd done the right thing? But he kept a further suspicion locked away, that his mother had discovered Malik had betrayed him and taken her own life.

His father rose from the chair and walked to stand in front of Malik. "Think before you answer my next question, because Haris and Tyler must speak to the police tomorrow and you will be arrested. Did you try and kill your brother and his friend by pus.h.i.+ng them under a bus?"

Malik scowled. "They can't prove anything."

His father sighed. "Those few words tell me everything."

"I've done nothing," Malik said.

"Well, then you won't worry if the police want to question you." Haris gave him a grim smile.

"f.u.c.k you," Malik whispered. "f.u.c.k you and f.u.c.k your wh.o.r.e." He glared at Tyler.

"Don't speak of him like that." Haris clenched his fists. "He's more of a man than you could ever be. If you had a problem with me, all you had to do was talk to me. Instead, you hid behind Ras.h.i.+d. It's your fault he's dead."

His father groaned and Malik fled to his side. "Are you in pain?"

Haris took in the way Malik held his father's hand and the look that pa.s.sed between father and son and sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't put things right but he could avoid making them worse. "Pack your bags and leave now. Go to Heathrow, catch a flight out of the country tonight."

Malik hesitated. His father pinned his gaze on Haris, and then Malik moved across the room to haul a suitcase from the closet.

"I'll take you back to your hotel," Haris told his father.

"Leave us a moment," his father said.

Haris nodded to Tyler and they slipped out of the room. He leaned on the wall next to the part-open door.

Haris sighed. "Now you know my secrets too."

"Except you were a victim," Tyler muttered.

"Weren't you a victim too?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"I chose to do what I did."

"You were still a victim."

"Malik," he heard his father say. "Was life so bad?"

"He's the reason my mother is dead," Malik barked.

"No, he's not."

"I wanted her to love me as she loved him." Malik's voice cracked.

"She did. And I love you. Come home. Be with me at the end."

Haris had heard enough. He strode down the corridor to the elevator. Tyler followed. By the time his father came to them, Haris had his emotions back under control.

"I'll remain here and leave with Malik." His father gave him a sad smile.

"I thought you might stay longer," Haris said.

"He needs me. You never did. Be happy, my eldest son."

Haris stepped into his father's arms and they hugged each other.

"I could come. I could-"

"No. The risk is too great. We all have enemies. Better not to give them the means to destroy us."

The elevator doors opened.

His father let him go and held out his hand to Tyler. Tyler shook it.

"Is Haris happy?"

"Sometimes," Tyler said and glanced at him.

"Make him happy all the time. The past is done. You should never look behind. Only look forward."

Tyler nodded and stepped into the elevator. Haris hesitated then followed. As the doors closed, he was. .h.i.t by the realization that he'd never see his father again and slammed his hand on the open b.u.t.ton.

"Baba," he called as he stepped forward.

His father turned.

Haris took a deep breath and found the words he'd not spoken since he'd been a child. "I love you."

A smile lit his father's face. "And I love you."

Haris pressed the b.u.t.ton again and the doors closed. He let out a shuddering breath.

"Is that it?" Tyler asked.

"What would you have done?"

"After I kicked your brother in the nuts?"

He laughed. "Yeah."

"Kicked him again. Harder. He wrecked your life."

Haris shook his head. "No, he didn't. If it hadn't happened, I'd have probably gone back to Saudi after I graduated. Malik and I would have bickered about the business for years. I'd never have met you." He smiled. "You're my light, my path, my future."

Tyler stared at him with his black eyes and Haris knew he didn't believe him.

"Give me the chance to prove it to you."

"You think you can?" Tyler asked.

Haris leaned forward, pressed his finger against the close door b.u.t.ton, and brushed his lips over Tyler's. When he licked the seam of his mouth, Tyler shuddered. He couldn't see Tyler's eyes anymore but he could feel the wash of his hot breath over his mouth. Haris gave him the softest, sweetest kiss he could. A kiss that told him what he meant to him.

Fear of losing Tyler swirled like a tornado in his head. Need pulsed through him, around him and over him until he thought he was going to drown. He laid his hand against Tyler's face and fed him open-mouthed kisses until Tyler groaned and finally began to respond. Haris's desperation grew in leaps and bounds. His erection strained behind his zipper, and each brush of his swollen c.o.c.k against Tyler's pants sent flashes of fire shooting into his belly.

What the h.e.l.l's that noise?

They broke apart, panting and stared at each other.

"It's the alarm on the elevator," Tyler said.

"I thought it was my heart."

Tyler grinned. "Take your finger off the b.u.t.ton and stick your hands in your pockets."

When they walked into the lobby, Wilson stood holding Alcide.

"Do you need my help?" Wilson asked. "I studied jujitsu. Well, only for two weeks but I'm sure it will all come flooding back, and the chances of putting my back out in the same way resulting in four months of traction would surely not happen a second time. Alcide has sharp teeth though and I know he'd leap to your defense."

"Everything's fine," Haris said. "We can go home now."

It wasn't fine, not yet but he wasn't going to stop trying to make it right until it was.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Tyler opened the pizza box, inhaled the scent of melted cheese and crispy bacon and groaned. He couldn't remember when he'd last eaten. Wilson had retired to his room with Alcide, and Haris sat beside him on the couch, his pizza smothered in pepperoni.

They needed to talk, but Tyler wasn't sure he could, not yet. He kept going back to the fact that Haris had paid someone to follow him. He hadn't forgotten Haris's reaction when he'd told him Jeremy had dyed his hair-that deep groan. At the time, it had made Tyler wonder and now he thought he'd figured out why Haris had reacted like that. Whoever had been following him had told Haris they'd seen him outside his flat with a dark-haired guy. Haris thought he'd been cheating on him and said nothing. What hope did they have if they couldn't talk to each other?

But if he didn't give Haris another chance, what sort of fool was he? He wanted things to be right between them, but there was so much c.r.a.p in the way. How many more months were left of this stupid contract? How long before Haris told him he loved him? He'd said it to his father so it wasn't that he couldn't get the words out. Will he ever tell me? How long do I wait?

"What a day," Haris said and bit into a slice of pizza.

What a f.u.c.king awful day. "One really good thing did happen."

Haris raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"I pa.s.sed my term-end piano a.s.sessment despite c.o.c.king up on the instructions."

"Hey, congratulations."

Tyler grinned. "Last day today at college until mid-January, though I've a ton of work to do, plus a dissertation to write. A critical a.n.a.lysis of extreme metal, youth disaffection and post-industrial society, and how the music changed British pop."

Haris's eyes widened. "I didn't even understand that."

"Neither do I. Can I use your computer? Save me going to the library."

"I'll buy you a laptop."

Tyler stiffened. He couldn't help it. But he just about kept the snap out of his voice. "I don't need you to buy me one. I just wanted to borrow yours."

"Sorry. Course you can."

"I promise not to look at too much p.o.r.n."

Haris dropped the slice of pizza he was holding and Tyler laughed.